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Am I being unreasonable ?

  • 14-01-2023 4:07pm
    Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭

    A few years ago I hired a skip to do a major clear out of my house and went to go use it and discovered it had been 1/2 filled by a neighbour from about 10 doors way, who had basically emptied their entire garage and shed into it - washing machine, old sofa, bags of household waste, old mattress etc. I identified them because they had put rubbish in with their address on it.

    I was really pissed off with the him and demanded he remove all the stuff or pay for the skip to be emptied, which would have cost about €370.

    He removed the items (begrudgingly) and I haven’t really spoken to them since and frankly never had really anything to with them then prior to this either. I’ve barely any interaction with anyone who isn’t an immediate neighbour. It’s an urban street rather than a housing development.

    Anyway, I had some other neighbour tell me I was being far too grumpy about it at the time … I think I just said “whatever” when he apologised 🤷‍♂️

    Seems you just have to roll over in Ireland …



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,749 ✭✭✭circadian

    GTFO. Happened to my ma a few years back. Fella a few doors down from her clogs the cul de sac up with vans and untaxed/broken down cars. She hired a skip and he dumped a van load of **** into it within about 30 minutes of arrival.

    I looked out to catch him in the act and he couldn't believe I had the gall to tell him to either take his **** out or pay for the skip.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    I just find the mentality ridiculous. It’s like they are afraid to upset anyone even when they’re way out of line!

    The comment was that “you’ve spent too long abroad. There’s no need to be that abrasive.” As I’m some kind of blow in that doesn’t know how to interact in polite society.

    Seems to be all based on the fact that I don’t have an Irish accent. It’s some kind of mid Atlantic mess of Dublin & NYC and this was brought up yonks after the fact for no particular reason.

    I mean I suppose I should let the neighbours take a spin on my car too or use the shower?

    I think I’ll stick to just completely ignoring the neighbours !

  • Registered Users Posts: 9,412 ✭✭✭Furze99

  • Registered Users Posts: 11,972 ✭✭✭✭blade1

    They are afraid to upset anyone but at the same time no bother upsetting you?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,412 ✭✭✭Furze99

    Must be a posh area you live in :) You see a lot worse/ better than that in many parts and obviously the neighbours approve there.

    Putting up a Christmas wreath would most certainly be 'traditional' enough.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    It’s not particularly posh and other houses have lights up (even at this stage) and they look great and were far more extensive than what I had up.

    I had her querying why I had visitors to the house and “are you working from home?” and implied it was “strange” that we were almost always in. Having a home office is a big part of why I picked the house!

    ”This is a quiet street…”

    I’m not running a business from the house or having clients at the house. She just got all weird when friends have called over for lunch and stuff ?!

    I’ll just ignore completely avoid interaction with her from this point on. Seems to be the best approach.

    It’s that or move.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,045 ✭✭✭Thespoofer

    TBH I would have been fu@!ing fuming if this happened to me. Don't worry about it OP, he was out of order for dumping his stuff in especially without even asking.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,676 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    Yeah I would blank the Neighbour like she wasn't even there in future.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    It’s bizarre. She clearly needs a hobby, other than looking out the windows with binoculars!

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    IMO, Neighbour doesn’t talk to you, she talks to your solicitor. If there’s nothing that she’s willing to pay a solicitor to discuss, there’s nothing to f*cking discuss. End of. Busybodying wench can f*ck off.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    It’s not even a particularly neighbourly place. Nobody speaks to or knows anyone.

    I’ll just have to put up a bigger fence.

  • Registered Users Posts: 11,972 ✭✭✭✭blade1

    Good fences make good neighbours! 😄

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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,626 ✭✭✭amacca

    Id swear you were living on craggy island

    The **** nerve, I was about to say are the neighbours all elderly and crabby but that's completely unfair. I lived in an area and it was the elderly neighbours were the lowest on the asshole spectrum even tipping over into decent at times.

    The people you are dealing with seem to be complete fuckwits!

    If that had happened to me I'd be on guard the next time and try to ignore but if a "this is a quiet street" type interaction came up I'd keep asking them questions in a level measured tone...along the lines of ....are you implying something? you not think those are perfectly acceptable christmas decorations? Out of curiosity what kind of decorations would you put up? Etc

    In my mind that could potentially accomplish a number of things

    (as long as you don't let yourself get carried away into a more heated discussion and have an out like a phonecall/saucepan on the cooker you have to get back to etc etc if it does looks like it's heading that way)

    1) shows you aren't the least bit intimidated ...twats like that can have a bit of a bully in them

    2) a lot of the time morons that engage with this type of bollockolgy are used to people being shocked/surprised and saying little in return meaning they themselves unable to come up with much of a reasonable explanation/answer and they usually start scurrying when someone asks them some straightforward on topic questions.... if they are too stupid to realise they have taken the bait and come back then put some icing on the cake and slowly repeat their in all likelihood ridiculous usually half mumbled answer back to them starting with "so you think......"

    This can highlight how much of a gobshite they are as up to that point they usually haven't heard what they said aloud...its been going around in their head..

    It can also be a little win for you snd establish a type of dominance or at least an unwillingness to tangle as readily with the barbed comments...they might pick other targets to pick petty non-existent bones my experience it usually makes them very polite (to your face at least).....I'm assuming you are not dealing with gang members/thugs here (if you are then you should ignore my advice tbh)

    I just have one final question all this moron behaviour just a symptom and the lights/skip incident just an opening for them to air a grievance about something else you may or may not know about?

    Eg: Was the house owned by a good neighbour they all really liked or something?

    Was it ear marked for a son or daughter of someone on the road and since you outbidded them they've been quietly turning everyone's ear behind your back?

    Was the house a distressed sale etc etc? there something other than a bunch of squinting window malcontent busy bodies with too much time on their hands driving this is my question basically.

    Post edited by amacca on

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,303 ✭✭✭jackboy

    I would go with the opposite, a big over the top hello and greeting every single time. She wouldn’t be long backing off.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    Actually got a skip recently and a neighbour pulled up with a trailer.

    Edit: not an item of theirs was put in. Did get called boss though which cheered me up.

    Post edited by gameoverdude on

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,865 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    You were ENTIRELY reasonable. How effin DARE anyone fill anyone else’s skip without express permission or shared payment.

    Decades ago when I was clearing out my house before a move I hired a skip and all neighbours respected it except for one. It wasn’t a big dump but it was several cases of empty bottles after a house party hosted by an unfriendly ignorant gourmet shop owner and his consultant obstetrician wife from across the road. They had just gad a house party. He could well have used his business disposal to rid himself of his bottles. Had he made the gesture of leaving a bottle or two of wine from his shop in our porch with a note “hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of putting a few bottles in your skip, hope you enjoy these by way of a thank you” I would have thought that was cool. It was the cheeky way he did it annoyed me.

    Some people were raised without conscience and think they can leech onto others without the slightest compunction. Drives me batty.

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 25,500 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble

    Big ott friendliness to Mrs Nosy Bint .... and start calling her Hyacinth. She'll soon give up on you.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    When I moved in first she appeared at the front door, all super friendly and came in for a nose around.

    She made snide comments about how ‘small’ the house was… and how “I didn’t realise it was quite so pokey” …

    So yeah, I had her down as a weirdo from day one. Serious Mrs Bucket vibes, only slightly more D4 cringe accent.

    Other than that it’s just been all sorts of nosey enquires when we bump into here, which isn’t very often.

    Post edited by RetroEncabulator on

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,865 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    I hope you had the Santa climbing up the front of the house 😂

    Is your street in Norway by any chance? I sailed the coast of Norway one Christmas, entirely discreet white lights in every window etc…. Saw one set of coloured lights on the 7 day voyage.

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    That’s the thing though, the neighbours aren’t exactly toning down the decorations. Most houses had trees decorated in the front garden or some kind of lights out. Someone even had Santa and snowmen on the lawn.

    She just has it in for me, or maybe I’m the only person who’s dumb enough to respond to her.

    The only solution is just stop interacting with the neighbours - seems that’s what most people do.

    I’m going to go all out next year with the animatronics !!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭RetroEncabulator

    Surprising tbh, you kinda need them in the northern winter to make the place less dismally dark. It’s fairly obvious that the whole tradition comes from trying to turning mid winter into a less grim looking time.