Married Men - A Gay Lads View - Have you ever had an experience?

I hope you are savvy enough to know that is an excuse. I would say they have normal sex lives within their marriage. Men don't need to be lacking sex within a marriage to have sex with or desire other men. Im not judging these men who do this. Im just being ...honest.

I think online porn has ....erm ..how to say it ..opened up a lot of things to people who wouldn't necessarily go searching for it before. A lot of straight guys have a thing for men in drag for instance.

For men sex is less about emotional connection. More about exploration and often crossing of boundaries. The very fact its considered taboo or a straight man to do might be what is drawing them. Which is often why you find its the straightest of straight guys into it.

What people see online is getting weirder and weirder. Tentacle porn is the least of it. A straight man having sex with another straight man is nothing tbh. I think I would actually call it a vanilla snorefest.

I think things we are not used to ...excite us. Porn is exciting ...things that ...even scare us a little are exciting...things that shock us are exciting ..

Porn is revelatory it reveals to people things that they didn't know aroused them. Today, an unlimited supply of porn is available in endless variations. So many users are exposed to and become aroused by behaviors that shock them. Basically, porn reveals elements of their arousal template they were previously unaware of or simply repressed. And once these attractions are revealed, they don’t go away.

But here is the thing. They are not gay. Homosexuality or Bi sexuality is not just about SEX its also about LOVE ...whom you fall in ROMANTIC love with. Who you are orientated towards. These men or some of them are not homosexual in that sense. Could it be seen as a fetish? Have they fetishized gay sex?? I don't know. Maybe its more.

I don't for one instance think they are in sexless marriages though and I don't believe that. I DO think lots of them would say that.

Sure lots of them might be bi or homosexual ..but not all of them.

its not a fantasy..its very common. For some reason lots of straight men are into gay men in drag. LOTS. And erm the data released from the search engines of porn hub are erm ..REVEALING.

Also I found this thread very interesting and enlightening OP thanks for making it! 🙂

I'm a married guy, 48yrs old, wonderful wife and kids. We have a fairly good sex life, she would a lot less adventurous than me, but it's fine.

However, I've always had this thing that I'd like to have sex with another man, not regularly or relationship wise, very casual, purely sexual. I had a couple of close encounters when younger but nothing ever came of them, prob because we were both too scared of getting labeled or shunned socially, not something you could do easily in Ennis in the late 80's early 90's.

Let me reiterate I'm married almost 20 years and I love my wife, but this is a side of me she knows nothing about and would never accept, the very idea would be abhorrent to her.

I've never been unfaithful but as I've got older I think about it more and more and really feel I want to do this at least once. If the right circumstances presented itself, I'd find it very hard to pass up. It's just one of those "life's too short" things, and I know I'll regret it if I don't?

To get crude about it, I want to have my cock sucked by another guy and to return the favour. If/when I watch porn, I'll watch mmf bi stuff or group bi. I love a beautiful female body as much as anyone but watching everybody **** everyone else just blows my mind. Of course the ideal scenario would be, me, my wife and A.N.other, but that's never gonna happen ☹️. Even if she would consider pegging, but again, no chance.

I'm sure I'll get slaughtered here for suggesting I might be unfaithful but I actually think it would enhance my marriage, weird, I know, but true. At least then when we're together I could leave that piece of me aside.

I'm bisexual. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with that, but I finally have. I do think it's the least understood of all sexualities, as people like to categorize and say you should be one thing or the other, but I'm not, I'm both.

Anyhow, those are my thoughts on your post, feel free to leave yours.

E.

Well you haven't cheated so it would be a bit pointless "slaughtering" you.

It's fairly mind boggling that youve managed to convince yourself that cheating is GOOD for a marriage though.

It does give insight into how so many people can chat on their spouse guilt free though.

Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places is a 1970 book by Laud Humphreys. Humphreys' book is based on his 1968 Ph.D. dissertation, which was entitled "Tearoom Trade: A Study of Homosexual Encounters in Public Places." The study is an analysis of male-male sexual behavior in public toilets.[1] Humphreys asserted that the men participating in such activity came from diverse social backgrounds, had differing personal motives for seeking same-sex sexual partners in such venues, and variously self-perceived as "straight," "bisexual," or "gay."

Tearoom Trade debunked many of the stereotypes associated with individuals who participate in anonymous male-male sexual activity in public places, demonstrating that many of the participants lived otherwise conventional lives as family men and respected members of their communities; further, their activities posed no threat to non-participants.As Humphreys misrepresented his identity and intent to his subjects, and tracked their identities through license plate numbers, Tearoom Trade has been the subject of continued debate over privacy for research participants, with The New York Times noting that Tearoom Trade is "now taught as a primary example of unethical social research." Wikipedia

Well that's clearly untrue.

Personality can play a large part in sexual attraction.

For me, attraction is very much physical based and even I can be turned on or off by someone's personality.

So let's get this clear. You are arguing that "perhaps" some straight men are attracted to women because they are not men?

How does that work? If their main feeling is "not attracted to men" why wouldn't they be asexual? What would make them want to have sex with women?

As for gender I am using it interchangeably with sex. I am not making any point about gender changes or declarations or whether or not there is a difference between gender and sex.

You can just as easily make a similar.point if you say someone is attracted to a particular sex. If someone is attracted to the female sex then wouldn't they be attracted to trans men?

The point I am actually making is that generally, if someone says they are attracted to men and women, then they are usually attracted to multiple men, or multiple women in a way that suggests there is a trait or set of traits common to men, or common to women, which they find attractive.

Thanks Olivia, very well said.