Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Can't focus on anything or get things done. Just too many issues building up. Have an awful lot to be grateful for, but so many things gone pear shaped and I feel totally useless. Continually being damned by someone who I tried to please, but really, I should have lived my own life and be true to myself. I feel like a complete fool. Just bitter, angry, resentful, lonely and anxious.

You sound like you've been through an awful lot, especially in light of everything going on right now (the pandemic I mean). And that you're on the frontline, putting up with horrible stuff, and getting little thanks for it probably isn't helping.

Medication can be odd, as it takes a while for it to kick in. You think you're 'feeling normal'... but it takes months to fully adjust. You can't 'force' it.

I can't give any relationship advice. I gave up on them long ago. I'd be a burden to someone else. I do know that a relationship ending is similar to a death. You planned a future together, more than likely, so that future died, as did many of the dreams you had.

As for pursuing a new relationship... that might require a little more work on yourself, and your situation improving a little. Happiness comes from within, not from someone else.

For some better sleep just don't drink coffee. I find tea relaxes me but coffee keeps me wide awake even if I had it hours earlier.

Also I find these ear plugs very very useful and very cheap. 3M EAR Classic ear plugs. You can get about 50 for a tenner.

Supper definitely with eg milk. Eg bowl of cereal.

And hot water bottle. And decent warm duvet or even a very good quality down sleeping bag.

Also, any stuff you can get done that's bothering you, just do it as soon as you can rather than letting things and anxiety build up.

And give yourself a decent break after work and before bed to read, watch a movie (no ads!!).

Light exercise if you can every day. No need to go overboard as that just ends up like work sometimes. Just a relaxing walk.

And if you can, and have the space and time get a cat or dog. But leave that until you are ready as it's another commitment. But worth it.

Hope everyone managing ok.

The weather isn't helping. But at least we got plumbing fixed last week and have heat.

Can't focus on my job. Just burned out. Management have managed to drain any kind of enjoyment out of it.

Yes, it's incredible how fast the year turns. Saw some cherry blossoms yesterday! Think this can happen in a warm winter. Still!

Got up at 12:30 today. Really, the longest lie in, in years. But have no energy. Came across this article which sums up and reminds me of many reasons why I'm not functioning properly.

It's not just you. Completely flattened and exhausted today here. Unreal.

Tech and society's use of it is killing your ability to concentrate, focus, get work done, remain calm, make rational decisions, relax, ...

tis common enough with anti-depressants unfortunately, for both males and females, male here, my interest in sex has virtually gone to zero, this isnt bothering me too much though, it could be a trial and error situation though, you may have to try different medications, until you find the right balance

bup is NOT prescribed here I mean. I think I’m the opposite of you, I am interested still but it’s the orgasm bit which frustrates me and my partner who wants to keep trying but i want to stop :/

I’m actually from the south east too ( begins with a W lol ) but live in Dublin. Ya I hope to find a doctor that listens to what I want and not give me what they perceive I need. If I find some miracle drug I’ll let you know. Such a pity that Bup is not in Ireland but there must be something similar.

(Took me a while to post this, made some edits, so this might be a bit sloppy, just because I've re-read and re-typed it)

To be honest, it was a very difficult Christmas. I felt a real disconnect with my family. To be honest, I think it was very much me. That caused the disconnect, I mean.

There was a local figure, popular in my home town, who passed away before the holiday. It put a shadow over things. Then a friend of my brother's lost an aunt Xmas Eve.

Christmas day felt very... downbeat. My mum and brother decided to eat without me. Usually we always eat together. They wait for me. But they were hungry, so ploughed ahead. I was very anxious the whole of Christmas Day, and I felt very downcast. St Stephens Day, I woke up late, about 11.30 pm. I was pretty anxious from the day before. MY brother told me that my mum wanted us to eat together... but it all felt... I dunno. It's hard to put into words. I just, I felt like there's one major day to be together... and the rest is just bonus, or something.

I know this sounds like whining-many families weren't able to be together because of Covid. (I know of a few who were close contacts, who couldn't come home for the holidays). I just felt very... distant. Maybe I'd been ignoring it. Possibly.

Since then... my sleep pattern's been more erratic than ever. My eating habits have been even worse. I sometimes skip meals. Eat a breakfast, and have no mind for anything else. I've dropped weight, not a lot, but some. Generally just feel... disinterested in everything, really. Can go for two days of being up, and then the third day I may stay in bed for 24 hours or so. Trying to see if vitamins might help me out a bit. In addition to the meds I'm taking. Trying to sign up for online therapy as well. Local therapists are still unavailable because of Covid.

How long should one do therapy? I'm at a bit of a loss. Being doing it now for a number of years and it has helped greatly but I feel a bit stuck now. I think I might take a break. Maybe I need to reassess things.

I'm not beating myself up mentally anymore about everything.

If it's worth it, I'll make a note to improve in the future. But I'm always at it and I'm the same to family, criticising etc.

From now on I'm going to quietly make suggestions for improvement, if it makes sense, next time to me and to family. Otherwise I'm shutting up.

Used to "work" for short bursts for me to get things done but it just causes a lot of anxiety and depression and stress.

Why is your Psychiatrist telling you to go to your GP? He should be dealing with the issue. Or maybe it's a Psychologist you're talking about?

That's awful. Are you public? Can you change to someone else? How often do you see them? Your GP is not gonna interfere with whatever the Psychiatrist is prescribing. That's a given. Poor effort from your psychiatrist.

But I suppose that's what the public system is like. I've been waiting 4 months so far for an appointment. I'm so used to the private cover that this is all a shock to the system changing from private to public.

Public always gives you the trainees-they're just this stuff themselves. It's brutal. It's why I mostly go private. I've had one reallly horrific Private counsellor. But I've had too many public ones who I wouldn't rate too well.

Is it really that bad? I haven't been near the public for the last 15 years. Thought it would have improved. Guess not. That's unfortunate.

Hi bejezus, I found Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman very good. I haven't really been able to read or concentrate in years but I might try rereading that.