What's the worst ever Christmas song?

Oddly enough, it so overly happy and cheesy that it twinned with a video of the most appalling violence and horrific fatal accidents (along the lines of a combination of the opening scene of the first Deadpool film and the carnage of Peter Griffin/Giant Chicken fight) it would be a perfect foil.

For example, the bould Mariah skipping down the street and swinging out of a sign-post, and as she lets go of it, the post falls over, hits a cyclist, the cyclist crashes into a worker with a pneumatic drill, who lifts the drill after being hit, starts drilling the diesel tank of a bus causing the bus to explode leaving body parts flying everywhere, as Mariah continues down the street singing her lungs out into the camera, oblivious to the destruction she just caused behind her.

Leona Lewis, 3 more sleeps till Christmas (or something like that)

Its pure tripe

Heard a destiny's child one other day. Crimes against music police need investigate it

That was never meant to be a Christmas song - it’s about the suicide of Tony Mortimers brother. The lyrics make sense if you read them with that in mind.

I hate that Bo Selecta Proper Crimbo shite.

Paul Kelly, Who going to make the gravy.

It's not the worst but definitely on the miserable side.

So here it is Merry Christmas is my most detested Christmas song. The worst part of the song is when the chorus is repeated 4 times at the end with Noddy screeching "IIITS CHIIIISTMAAAS!" with his 100 Major a day voice. I have to either turn off the radio or leave the room if it comes on.

"There won't be snow in Af-rica this Christmastime"

Gee why not?

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti...

Surely Frank Kelly 's Christmas countdown deserves a mention awful tripe .

I guess Lorraine’s down in Africa.

How come the recent steaming pile by elton john and ed sheeran hasn't been referenced? - it's not like it's going to improve with age

In stark contrast, there's Jackson Browne's, "The Rebel Jesus"

Wizzard for sure, but all those 70s ones are just completely overplayed. I used to work in retail, in a toy shop / newsagents, and we had one Christmas CD which got played on repeat, all day long, for the weeks leading up to Christmas. It was torture and absolutely ruined Christmas songs for me.

The only one I can still listen to now is Nat King Cole's, because it's pretty chill. I would say the best Xmas songs now are the Dean Martin style ones, as they aren't as played as much as the 70s and 80s ones.

I heard the Coldplay one in a shop the other day and it was shocking. Like trying to tick all the "Christmas song" boxes.

I hate the Mariah one too, but so many people seem to love it. It's especially awful in Love Actually (shudder)

Of course, the best Christmas song is one that nobody knows, strangely, because it's by the biggest band in the world - Christmas Time Is Here Again. It was only released on a fanclub-only flexi disc, and then later as a b-side to Free As A Bird. :-)