Dating a slow texter

Everything people do these days is on their phone/online. People work, socialise, shop, are entertained etc. I don't want this to sound harsh, but you are not the only thing going on in his life at the moment. He could have any number of WhatsApp groups with dozens of messages, memes, arrangements, etc coming in all day. He might check one group and leave others until later. I often have unopened, unread messages from family, friends, colleagues. Where I might have opened other messages.

Sometimes I'm just watching telly. Or sometimes I'm in the middle of something else online etc.

If you like him just continue doing what you're doing. If you need him for something urgent (unlikely) call him. If you're just chit-chatting then there's no urgency and he doesn't need to reply immediately. But he has other family, friends, groups, commitments. All going on on his phone too.

Relax. You don't need to be in instant contact with each other.

Is this the same lad you were worried about because he's recently out of a relationship? Are you not that in to him, because you seem to be looking for problems.

You are one person of many many people in his life. I have one or two people in my life that I might have an over and back few minutes text conversation with but it would he very few people and wouldn't be every night.

People are bombarded online all day every day. Notifications from apps, messages, emails etc. Some people are permanently attached to their phones. Some aren't.

He responds. He has a chat with you. He's just different to what you're used to.

If you like him, stop trying to sabotage it!

eaglach - how are you in general with dating? Do you get attached very quickly? Do you expect a lot from a first meeting? Are you looking at longterm straight off or are you happy to wait and see how things naturally progress?

I ask partly because of your username, and partly because from your first time meeting this fella you were posting here questioning his motives. 2 threads in the relationship issues forum on a fella you've only met a handful of times isn't a good sign! I just wonder do you throw yourself into each and every date with every person you meet?

Dating seems to have really changed in the last number of years. Not that long ago seeing more than one person at any stage was considered cheating. Now it's normal. Now it's considered clingy and needy if you're going on dates with someone and expect them to not see anyone else. All this talk of "exclusive" etc was never a thing "back in our day".

But things have changed. People are different. Society and dating has changed (for better or worse?) and I think anyone who is dating these days needs to come to terms with that. Have you ever done the meeting multiple people thing? Or when you agree to go on a date do you stop checking for any other matches or messages? He may be meeting up with you. He may really like you. But he also might like to fill his other evenings meeting others. It seems to be the way now - until the "exclusive" talk.

I think though after 4 dates, heading to a 5th you are entitled to ask the question. You are always entitled to your feelings. If he says he doesn't want anything exclusive at the moment and is happy to just see where this leads then you have a decision to make. You can agree that you're also happy to go along with that for the moment, or you can tell him you're looking for something a bit more. Nothing wrong with that. He either thinks there's potential there with you or he doesn't. It's nothing personal if he doesn't. It's a numbers game. There'll be others.