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Problems with nurses behaviour

  • 01-11-2021 7:44am
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ Rayden Yellow Deodorant


    A friend of mine is in the hospital with COVID-19. obviously due to this they have to remain isolated and its been a little hard for them due to some underlying mental health problems. this evening they were distraught because while having a PTSD attack (not really getting into the details) and the hospital nurse is said to have told them while walking within the designated safe area outside their pod (there's 4 pods and a small corridor you can as a patient walk around)

    they asked the nurse for help with grounding themselves (for people with ptsd being reminded you're safe and not in that place/time anymore is huge to help calm the panic and anxiety)

    however the nurse told them to go back to their room and to "stop being a baby". this was AFTER they expressed they were having an episode and needed help grounding.

    surely this is grounds to speak with the hopsital manager at the very least? would there be any point in doing so? fortunately a few of the staff ran to help calm the situation and allowed them to step outside one of the back doors.

    I'm just apalled honestly that a nurse or any health care professional would tell someone having a PTSD episode to "grow up" or stop "being a baby". it's absolutely unreal. any advice is appreciated because honestly it's beyond shocking.

    Post edited by Big Bag of Chips on


  • Administrators Posts: 13,760 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips

    OP, this isn't a Personal Issue for you, nor did you witness the situation so I don't think I can leave the thread here.

    Your friend was dealt with appropriately by a number of staff. Has she spoken to any of them about the first nurse? There is a patient services department in every hospital. She can contact them and lodge her complaint. But it's up to her to do it. Not anyone else.

    I am going to lock this thread because I have a feeling it will turn into a nurse bashing thread, and that is of no benefit to anyone.

    I will also see if there's a more appropriate forum I can move it to.

    Thread reopened in Humanities Forum.

    Post edited by Big Bag of Chips on

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,986 ✭✭✭skallywag

    OP, I can certainly see how this issue is personal to you, and I also think it is very worthy of discussion. I also would promote open and frank discussion on what is clearly a very distressing situation, not only for you friend, but also for those who care about said friend. I would also like think that such a discussion can indeed happen without descent into some class of perceived 'nurse bashing' spiral.

    The behaviour that you are describing is absolutely disgraceful, and I would fully support you in making a formal complaint.

  • Administrators Posts: 13,760 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips

    The behaviour that you are describing is absolutely disgraceful, and I would fully support you in making a formal complaint.

    The complaint needs to come from the patient. Or the next of kin. A patient's care will not be discussed with you. It won't even be discussed with the next of kin without the patient's permission.

    You can speak to your friend and suggest she makes a complaint. That complaint could be to the manager on the ward, or it could be to patient services. The complaint can be informal, or formal.

    Not every situation has to be escalated. A word to the nurse manager who would then take the nurse aside and explain what they did wrong would be as much benefit as an official complaint to the hospital and would be slower to process as it goes through the various channels.

    I hope your friend is OK. But the hospital will not discuss any element of their care with you. Support your friend if they want to make a, complaint. Don't pressure them if they don't.

  • Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ Rayden Yellow Deodorant

    to be clear I didn't ask if I can make one I just asked what exactly can be done or if there was no big deal about it!

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,779 ✭✭✭sporina

    I am sorry that your friend had this experience. Tell them that they can ask to speak to the ward manager (CNM2) and explain what happened.

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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,428 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx

  • Registered Users Posts: 791 ✭✭✭CreadanLady

    Well, your friend is entitled to complain if they want to but at the end of the day what do they realistically expect that the outcome of that will be? The nurse was a bit rude and unsympathetic sure, but I'm sure she had plenty medical issues to attend to with patients. Sure your friend had a panic attack and a negative experience, but it is a transient passing thing for a few minutes and no harm would come out of it.

    What would you expect or hope to be the outcome of a complaint? That the nurse would be sued, or face disciplinary action, or be sacked? Come on like. Realistically, all a complaint would do is earn your friend a standard form letter from the HSE "we are sorry to hear that you had a negative experience, we will investigate the matter" and you'll never hear more from it. At best the nurse might have to do some tick-the-box nonsense interview about it and all goes back to normal. Plus, in the middle of a pandemic, I'm sure the HSE have bigger fish to fry than making an example out of rude nurse.

    The MFV Creadan Lady is a mussel dredger from Dunmore East.

  • Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]

    Poor nurse. Run off his/her feet. Desperately ill people everywhere. Extra work as colleagues off sick or isolating. Quite possibly has been quite ill recently herself. Am not saying what was said was acceptable, but suggest showing some reciprocol understanding. Nurse could well have ptsd too. Suggest writing a personal letter to nurse thanking for care but also stating how the words said were not nice and caused genuine hurt

  • Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams

    suck it up

  • Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]

    Maybe not quite so harsh. The small corridor sounds like the general access, so i can understand why one would want to keep it clear as much as possible. When an emergency happens would not want people in the corridor impeding access. Same reason you dont leave furniture by a fire exit. I see other staff calmed the situation by removing the patient to a quieter area, thus i assume breaking the pod,s isolation. A very reasonable compromise in the situation, but if a communicable illness is then spread from the pod or into the pod then the insistence of the nurse to keep to the room may well have been the right decision. These are not normal times

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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams

    I spent a week in tallaght hospital this year and I have to say it was a joy , I recall leaving whilst possibly high as a kite from meds telling the nurses I’ll leave them a trip advisor review , nurses are amazing.

    i recall a patient joking to a nurse who was two hours over her working hours that she’ll be loaded with overtime and her face spoke a thousand words, she laughed in a way the suggested she working for free

  • Registered Users Posts: 791 ✭✭✭CreadanLady

    Writing a letter to the nurse? What wwould be the point? If it got to her at all then it would be just chucked in the bin hardly read. A complete waste of time writing nonsense letters.

    The MFV Creadan Lady is a mussel dredger from Dunmore East.

  • Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7

    The way the nurse spoke was unprofessional and inexcusable.

    A formal letter of complaint may help other vulnerable patients being similarly inappropriately treated.

    PS I had a very similar experience with a nurse and still regret not doing this.

    Post edited by Graces7 on