Arguing over where to live

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 9:31pm #1

Myself and my husband bought a house last March to be closer to my mother for our baby that arrived last June. Its been great apart from the fact that we are being harrassed by local teenagers. They kick our door constantly causing damage, we have put up multiple cctv cameras, given statements to the guards etc. Nothing has changed and this has been going on since we moved in. My husband wants to sell up and move to anywhere else, its causing huge arguments between us, I dont want to move because of the family support and the fact house prices are crazy, I am also pregnant at the moment and dont want the stress of moving to a random part of the country. i dont know what to do.

Upforthematch · 29-10-2021 11:23pm

Do you have any neighbours you can talk to?

You can find out are the kids targeting everyone or just you and perhaps why...

Unless you're at the 'petrol bomb through the front window' stage then moving again sounds a bit ridiculous.

This worry is doing you and your new baby no good though, at least if you two could agree to stick it out until the baby comes it would give you one less thing to think about.

listermint · 29-10-2021 11:27pm

Move. There's nothing to be gained from staying where you are. Your husband is right and the longer you leave it the deeper into pregnancy you get. Be practical.

I see sheep · 29-10-2021 11:31pm

Surely you can move but still stay close to your family?

It's probably either that or your husband and his friends catch them and give them a hiding.

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092518#Comment_118092518

A few others in our estate have sold up and moved for the same reasons. We know it's not just us.

By the time we got our house sold and found another house to buy I'd imagine the baby will already be here. We know from experience that this side of Christmas is a bad time to buy or sell

lawrencesummers · 29-10-2021 11:33pm

Get a gate.

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:34pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092533#Comment_118092533

The baby is due at the very start of next year so realistically I don't see us being able to sell our house and find a new one to buy before we have the baby

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092570#Comment_118092570

We can't. Our door literally opens out onto the street

I see sheep · 29-10-2021 11:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092579#Comment_118092579

You could just sell and rent for a year til you find a new house.

Big Bag of Chips · 29-10-2021 11:37pm

@I see sheep warned for advising violence against children.

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092601#Comment_118092601

Renting isn't an option. Renting in our area is more than double what our mortgage costs us. If you can even find somewhere. I only work part time we can't afford double our mortgage

Big Bag of Chips · 29-10-2021 11:45pm

@I see sheep, I've deleted your latest post. As per the Forum Charter

Suggesting violence or advising a poster to break the law as a problem solver will result in an instant forum ban.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt with regards to your first post.

Remember you are posting in Personal Issues and a very specific charter applies to this forum.

Any poster unfamiliar with this forum should read the charter.

Hannibal_Smith · 30-10-2021 9:34am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092638#Comment_118092638

If you've a newborn at home and another on the way, teenagers kicking your door in and you have actually done everything (reported it to the Gardai, followed the advice they gave you, given them the pictures from the cctv) then you move.

The new baby won't be due until Feb/March? You've plenty of time.

It's not ideal, but two small infants living in a home with the door being kicked in isn't the better option.

appledrop · 30-10-2021 9:47am

Realistically you haven't a hope of moving before baby is born and you hardly want the stress of setting up views etc at the moment.

Selling might not be too hard as no stock out there but finding somewhere else to move to would be another story.

I think it would be better if yourself and husband agreed you will have to stay for now but will look into moving in future if things don't improve.

You say your installed cctv cameras and linked with the guards but nothing has changed. What has the response of guards actually been? It's not true nothing can be done. Yes they are juveniles but they can be assigned JLO who can impose cautions on them to improve their behaviour.

miserablelivinghere · 30-10-2021 9:57am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118093116#Comment_118093116

This is basically my argument, theres no way it will happen before this baby comes so I dont want the stress coming of organising viewings etc, I know we would probably sell the house no problem its finding somewhere else in our budget thats the issue.

When it happened last night they said they would send someone around and didnt, we have sent numerous videos, they havent even identified who they are

appledrop · 30-10-2021 10:07am

I thought as much. Basically the guards are doing nothing which is not good enough.

Keep following up with them and I'd be getting onto local Policitician aswell to voice your concerns, more about lack of reaction from guards rather than teenagers themselves.

neenam · 30-10-2021 10:48am

+1 politician. I've been in touch with my td re getting a relative into a nursing home, work in progress.

Would ye consider getting something like an iron gate put in front of the door, might at least help with the kicking issue.

30-10-2021 1:27pm

Be sure to tape up your letterbox from the inside tonight. Its banger season.

I don't know, I think the stress of having teenagers kicking my door would be worse then the stress of setting up viewings.

I'd move if at all possible. And in the interim, I'd harass the gardai each and every time it happens, and stress each time you call that you're pregnant, and scared.

However, if they're minors, there probably isn't much they can do. Ask for a meeting with the Junior Liasion Officer for your area, if there is one. They are more likely to be able to identify the culprits.

But if other neighbours have had leave before, odds are its unlikely to improve for you anytime soon, and next year you'll have two infants while your door is being kicked.

I definitely start the ball rolling on a move, on the condition that your husband takes on all the work of setting up for viewings, etc.

jackboy · 30-10-2021 1:33pm

The guards and politicians won’t do anything.

in a few years time these teenagers will be kicking lumps out of your children rather than the door. Sell up.

Supercell · 31-10-2021 10:23am

We bought our first house when herself was 7 months pregnant. I did most of the viewings, she was happy enough to look at pictures for the most part.

The stress of the little scrotes kicking in the door must be far worse than any move I'd have thought. As jackboy says above, what about when your own kid arrives, will the scrotes leave them alone, or even worse they pal up with them and become a waster themselves?

Move, the sooner the better for everyone.

zoobizoo · 01-11-2021 12:40pm

It's often a case that they just want the reaction.

Would you recognise them yourselves if you saw them during the day? If so you could see what school they're in and go down that route.

Is it just your house that is being targeted or are others enduring the same?

01-11-2021 12:48pm

There are some areas you just shouldn't live in, no matter what.

I'd move. Cut your losses.

daheff · 01-11-2021 12:54pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092570#Comment_118092570

Get a big dog

Housefree · 01-11-2021 12:58pm

Are you running out and shouting at them etc? Usually people who give them a reaction get all their attention, try ignoring them for a while

SupplyandDemandZone · 01-11-2021 1:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092562#Comment_118092562

This is what would have happened years ago and the on the very slim chance it was reported the Gardai would have looked the other way. Now the little f cuks have everything on their side and you'd end up in court or worse.

Actually had a anti social element gang of scummers from Hillview (a known trouble spot in Dublin) begin to hang out and cause trouble in our estate when i was a kid until a group of around 5 local men including a fireman and a guard gave a them a kicking back one evening in the 80's after one of them thought doing a dump in an elderly woman's porch was a good idea. They didn't return.

Unfortunately OP i'd be moving personally as solutions like the above are long gone and the law isn't on your side.

BronsonTB · 01-11-2021 1:03pm

Replace the front door / reinforce the front door - Insure it is secure & they are not getting through it!

You won't find the garda doing anything until they commit a serious crime (and even then it will be limited)

Law is on the kids side (Provided they are all under 18)

(Make sure you can identify & know where each one lives, just for you own records)

If they are in council houses, complain to the council, have it on record.

If they are in provate housing, complain to your local politicions.

Make a note of every incident & report to the garda anyway.

Encourge other neightbours to do the same.

Only chance of change if collectiviely they & their families are affected by thier kids actions.

Sounds like poor parenting too.

Tork · 01-11-2021 1:12pm

OP, I think it's time to cut your losses and try to sell. I've lived somewhere I wasn't happy with (thankfully, only renting) and it is something that starts to get in on you. You can do anything you want to your house but if you're not at ease in the area, you'll never settle. Sorry for being so pessimistic but that's my opinion.

01-11-2021 1:32pm

I mean, if you need to put a cage on your front door and windows then maybe it's a sign to leave.

the_pen_turner · 01-11-2021 2:35pm

Sell up , the stress is not worth that.

Zcould you move in with family for a while until you find a new place.

Or rend your house out to even worse scumbags and they will sort it for you

ted1 · 01-11-2021 2:45pm

Move out, rent that house and rent yourself a different house.

thefallingman · 01-11-2021 3:02pm

Have you seen who the teenagers are, set up a camera or keep an eye out the window. That's the key to ending this, once you know the leader get the gardai and go to his parents house. Did it start over any sort of incident ?

Arguing over where to live

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