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Being called dramatic

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  • 03-10-2021 1:16am
    #1
    Posts: 0


    Hello, wondering how others feel or interpret it when another calls them dramatic?


    To me it seems to be a way to dismissive another's emotions. It seems demeaning and instead of appreciating that another will respond to a situation in a differing manner to them they are dismissed as being a drama queen



Comments

  • Administrators Posts: 13,765 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    willowground, is this a specific personal issue for you that you are looking for advice on, or is it just for general debate? Personal Issues is an advice forum where posters look for advice on an issue that is affecting them.

    If you want to give more detail as to how this is impacting you personally then posters can offer meaningful advice. If it's just a general observation and you're looking for discussion on it I will move your thread to a more appropriate forum.

    Thanks,

    BBoC



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    BBOC, thank you.

    My sister gives sly comments about me in front of others.

    Such as, last week there was a communion patry for my nephew in my brother's house, I commented on the nice plates, and my mam said she gave them they were one's from at home. She said in front of everyone how I'm waiting to all those things from when after our mother dies.


    When I commented back that's unfair and I'm not waiting for anyone to die to get things, I was told I was being dramatic, said it calmly.


    There have been many instances like this when something more hurtful is said and then I would get upset and I'm seen as the dramatic one.


    I hate it and I do feel very upset about it because it's often in public and I do get upset and then I probably do seem childish and dramatic and she just has a grin on her face and said she did nothing.

    I'm not very confident in ways, I can at times cry easily.


    I hate it that she say can nasty things to me about my weight etc if I get annoyed, say anything back firmly, she'll defend herself till she pushes it back on me for being dramatic and 'not able to take anything'


    As I'm unsure of myself I do doubt what do others think of me do they think I'm odd too



  • Registered Users Posts: 28,047 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    In those circumstances I don't think anyone would miss the fact that it was your sister being callous about your mother and spiteful towards you. She was also being irrational as your reply was reasonable rather than dramatic. She is the one making a fool of herself and showing herself up. If you can cut off contact with her you should. Just try not to be in the same place as her but don't make a fuss about it, just have a low-key excuse not to be there.

    If you are in the same place, don't let her control the situation.

    I hate it that she say can nasty things to me about my weight etc if I get annoyed, say anything back firmly, she'll defend herself till she pushes it back on me for being dramatic and 'not able to take anything'

    If she comments on your weight - or anything else of the sort - just roll your eyes and don't engage, or make out you didn't even hear her. Change the subject, talk to someone else. If she has you cornered say something dismissive like 'you could take a look at your own problems' - but say it dismissively, not as though it matters or you are reacting. Then change the subject or walk away or talk to someone else, do not engage further.

    It is not you, it is not your problem, she is the problem and she is the one who needs to cop on. Try to emotionally cut her out of your life.



  • Administrators Posts: 13,765 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I 100% agree with looksee. Anyone who was there and witnessed your sister would know that she was in fact the one that was out of line. Reading your post I had a "wtf" reaction to what your sister said.

    And anyone who is in her company on any sort of regular basis would know the way she carries on. People like her rarely treat just one person like that. So you might feel targeted by her, but I can guarantee others have also been on the receiving end of her 'hilarious banter' and have the measure of her.

    If you can ignore her, do. But know that in any situation where she's making digs at you, or others, like that all she's doing is digging a hole for herself. Most people would pay no heed, or awkwardly move on from the comment.

    It's difficult if you're sensitive to not take things to heart. But your sister isn't the confident, popular, hilarious person she seems to think she is. I'd say many people think she's a pain in the arse.



  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,437 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx


    100% this, and especially read and reread the last line about emotionally cutting her out. Decide that her opinions and snarky comments don't matter to you, and why should they anyway! You know the expression - you can pick your friends but not your family.

    If you were not related, is she someone you would choose to spend time with, I'm guessing the answer is a definite No.

    And I agree, look far-away and as though not paying attention when she speaks. If in company, make her repeat what she has said, louder. That often works with bullies like her. She knows how to wind you up, but as pp have said, she was the one who sounded bad in that interaction. Not you.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 16,072 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    Be prepared for her . Arm yourself and be ready . You could disarm her completely by not raising to her bait .

    Next time she makes a nasty comment be ready . You have a few options so know how you will disarm her

    You could quite simply blank her completely and walk away

    You could smile and say “ Ah , I see what you are doing and waiting for me to react so you can call me dramatic “Then walk away


    You could say in a nice voice with a smile” Sister , does it make you feel better about yourself when you put me down or why do you do it “

    You have options to take the power away from her and take away her weapons . Do it for yourself you deserve better



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Thanks for the advice and helpful suggestions, I appreciate it. Great to get another perspective



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,761 ✭✭✭mrslancaster


    Agree. You need to be prepared if it happens again because it's difficult to avoid your sister unless you stop going to family gatherings and that's not likely.

    Some people try to put others down, like your sister is doing. Calling someone dramatic, too sensitive, emotional, or saying calm down or relax, they're all part of the same nasty bullying behaviour. Not a nice situation to be in, nobody should make digs like that and not be called out on it.



  • Administrators Posts: 13,765 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    @99nsr125. You're not clever, or funny.

    I respectfully suggest you take your brand of advice elsewhere.



  • Registered Users Posts: 11,171 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Good call on too sensitive, emotional etc. It is a put down.

    Op, in my experience i believe people get told their dramatic way more often than actually being dramatic. Same goes for too sensitive etc. It is a put down. It's a passive aggressive bitchy/dickish way to try and get to someone.

    Sister or no sister consider it a game of tennis. She's firing a shot at you so you hit one back when she does it again.



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