Are there people still unable to cook?

Ray Palmer · 21-10-2021 12:48PM #1

I think I saw my father cook twice in his life. For the older generation it was certainly normal for the mother/wife to do all the cooking. My mother was and is a terrible cook so I learned to cook from about 13 as a male which was odd among my peers. Now a days I assume everyone know how to cook and does a portion of the cooking in a couple. I was talking to my sister in law's husband and was shocked he mentioned he did none of the cooking and said he didn't know how to do "women's work". He has 3 children and his father lives with them, I can't believe my sister in law agreed to this or put up with it. Somebody in work also mentioned they never cook and his wife did it all again he had children.

Is this normal still?

xabi · 21-10-2021 12:53PM

Is your sister in laws husband not your brother? Edit - never mind 😛

Ray Palmer · 21-10-2021 12:59PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052832#Comment_118052832

I would never want to call him my brother in any guise he is the guy married to my wife's sister. Some would say he is my brother in law but I won't for this guy

21-10-2021 12:59PM

what competence threshold does a person have to pass to be considered “able to cook”? Presumably anyone could do the most basic stuff like boil an egg or pasta.

21-10-2021 01:07PM

There's men who are like that in that they never cook but there's also women who are like that.

Years ago as you said, it was more common for women to do all the cooking but I think nowadays it's way more common for men to cook aswell and I think couples can kind of fall into a habit or pattern where one might cook more often than the other. Sometimes that can be down to someone simply enjoying cooking.

21-10-2021 01:10PM

I can cook about 4 dishes to perfection....

I would like to learn more, but I don't have the skills, and I don't have the time at the moment to put the effort in... also if it's a bit meh, I get flak about it all the time which makes me not want to bother learning anything else...

maybe in a year or two when I have a bit more time ...but for the time being, I just do a bit more of the cleaning

Dial Hard · 21-10-2021 01:11PM

Unwilling to cook =/= unable to cook.

Strumms · 21-10-2021 01:13PM

my cousins daughter can’t cook ( first cousin once removed ?!? ), she is 22 or 23...

intelligent girl, full time job, college degree but when her parents went on holiday and she stayed home she was literally pulling pre cooked meals that her parents made, out of the freezer and microwaving them... spaghetti bolognese she loves and I was telling her how easy that dish is to make and she should try, I’ll write down recipe / ingredients / instructions or YouTube is great but it no, it’s like she’s afraid of blowing up the kitchen.... it’s not laziness as she hasn’t a lazy bone in her body and she’s a smart girl but she can’t get her head around cooking.

I watched my mother cook and now watch a load of stuff on YouTube..I wrote down ingredients, bought them, back to watching it being made and tried myself... still something I’ll do today if I want to learn a new dish.

GLaDOS · 21-10-2021 01:14PM

I do nearly all the cooking. My fiancée wouldn't starve or anything left to her own devices, but has zero passion or aptitude for it

Mr. CooL ICE · 21-10-2021 01:16PM

AFAIK, the majority of my peers cook. Some did it proactively while others were forced to learn after moving away from home. There are a handful that are bad, but they try or just have a handful of things they stick to and don't venture out of their comfort zones.

I'm aware of some people who don't cook and they're all from rural/big farming families where the wife/mother has everything ready when they come in from working on the fields. But this is literally the only demographic I'm aware of that is still like this.

SupplyandDemandZone · 21-10-2021 01:22PM

From the sheer amount of deliveroo etc.. i see on the road i think many people can't or are unwilling to cook.

Beechwoodspark · 21-10-2021 01:31PM

Yeah there’s loads of guys out there (40 + mainly) who can’t/won’t cook and are fine with that.

persoanlly it is completely odd to me. I love cooking and am a fair hand at Irish/Euro/Italian/Asian/Mid East cooking. I’ll basically try anything.

I’d regularly do stuff like sushi for starter then a curry for main or the Sunday roast.

Love it!

Timberrrrrrrr · 21-10-2021 01:33PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052943#Comment_118052943

This imo is the issue these days, it's just easier to make a call and have it delivered especially if both parents are working and then have to cook for children too.

freshpopcorn · 21-10-2021 01:55PM

I'm okay at cooking and I sort of like it.

However I do understand why some people don't and aren't bothered.

I think most people can get by if they have to and there's a world of videos online now to help.

Some women like playing the housewife and they don't allow the fella do any of the cooking, cleaning etc. They can be very belittling about it to their fella.

In fact they even gossip, criticise and feel sorry for men who have to do housework and they think his wife is a terrible yoke. I'm even talking about women in there 30s.

However in these house men generally do the men jobs.

whisky_galore · 21-10-2021 01:56PM

I can cook reasonably but I take no great interest in it.

gifted · 21-10-2021 02:00PM

I love to cook...at my happiest in the kitchen....3 chick's love it when I cook for them....made these earlier this morning ...sausage rolls...pancakes and chicken thighs....they'll be gone by this afternoon lol lol

20211021_132417.jpg

MissShihTzu · 21-10-2021 02:03PM

I do the cooking in my house. Hubby tries, but he'll happily leave it to me! He did however make a peppercorn sauce for his steak in the pan this week, and was delighted with himself!

Come to that - I do most of the cleaning, and dog stuff too...🙄

CaboRoig · 21-10-2021 03:21PM

Friend of mine is 55 and can't do much beyond make tea, toast and sandwiches. I think it's very strange not to be able to at least throw a basic bit of dinner together.

Ray Palmer · 21-10-2021 03:26PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052893#Comment_118052893

Like most things you have to practice to be anyway competent so continually not doing something means you can't do it. Sharing responsibility for housework including cooking is just fair especially when both work. So the person I am talking about does all the "manly" jobs like bring out the bins and cut the grass which is nowhere equivalent to the daily tasks he makes his wife do. Other tasks like DIY are not in his skill level he would know how to stab somebody with a screwdriver but not use it for it's correct purpose. He used to be useful for lugging stuff around but being him he damaged his back permanently doing so because he was so "strong" he would attempt brawn over brain. He has his wife cooking for 3 generations of his family and doesn't even do the shopping. Very unbalanced relationship which she allowed happen too but her other sisters wouldn't put up with it at all and their father always cooked while they grew up.

Kintarō Hattori · 21-10-2021 03:28PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052914#Comment_118052914

This is exactly the nail on the head for a lot of people. They simply have no interest in cooking and will do the bare minimum or eat mostly pre-prepared meals.

Born in the lates 70s, I grew up in a household where my Dad went to work and my mother cooked. The kitchen was her domain and she had no interest in making sure her kids knew how to cook. When the time came for me to leave home I asked to be shown the basics and was told no. Leaving home I initially existed on the likes of noodles and campbells meatballs before a flatmate showed me some very basic recipes. This spurred me on to looking for a cookbook which seemed easy to follow and provided plenty of recipes. Over two decades later I still have it and use it.

In my home it's primarily myself that does the cooking. My partner can cook but she's the sort of person who believes everything can be cooked in 30 minutes or less.

Jequ0n · 21-10-2021 03:30PM

In my experience people who claim to be “unable” to cook are simply too lazy to do it.

I find them less annoying than people who think they are amazing cooks just because they can heat up a frozen meal.

Valhallapt · 21-10-2021 03:39PM

I can't cook, except for the odd BBQ and occasional steak. No interest in learning / aptitude for doing it. We eat out a lot, probably explains why I can't shift the Covid weight :-). I wish I had an interest, but its just a chore I dislike.

magicbastarder · 21-10-2021 03:51PM

for a couple of years after i moved out of my folks house (i was living on my own), nearly every time i called around to see my parents, my mother would have 5 or 6 tupperware containers with food already cooked for me to bring home for the freezer. i kept asking her not to do it, but her reaction was 'i'm just looking after my son'.

it probably sounds like i'm blaming my mother.

DublinWriter · 21-10-2021 04:19PM

Horses for courses.

I've limited cooking skills, but my wife is a pretty good cook.

However, I do all the laundry and ironing in the house. It's shocking the amount of Irish guys that can't even operate a washing machine and are still bringing back the sack of washing for the mammy at the weekend.

GLaDOS · 21-10-2021 04:24PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118053717#Comment_118053717

Upbringing has a lot to do with it I imagine, my older sister always included me in cooking as a kid and that definitely stuck with me into adulthood.

21-10-2021 04:38PM

Im a fairly mediocre cook but can nevertheless try my hand at most things and do ok. Only two poisonings. I mostly cook at home but it’s very simple fare, which I like anyway. Sometimes I’ll download a somewhat difficult menu to prove to myself I’ve still got it. Where it is a mediocre ability to cook.

Oranage2 · 21-10-2021 04:39PM

I've an American friend who wouldn't have clue about cooking, pouring milk into a crafts Mac and cheese was gastromy to him. He even moved his mother to China so she'd cook for him

21-10-2021 04:39PM

I'm a really good cook, but don't enjoy it much. Still I do most of the foods in our house

21-10-2021 04:43PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058214166/are-there-people-still-unable-to-cook

Historically, mother's did the cooking, but dad always cooked the best fry up.

freshpopcorn · 21-10-2021 04:55PM

@Ray Palmer maybe he's very good in other areas of the relationship?

21-10-2021 06:25PM

Pretty much all of my friends cook. We were all talking about what we were making during lockdown.

Both my girlfriend and I enjoy it, and while we each cook solo for us, we usually cook together. Somehow never any drama or fuss and it's just an enjoyable thing to do.

Wouldn't like to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't cook or wouldn't cook. And would hate to not be able to do it myself. Whatever about our parents, but we all have videos and recipes at our fingertips.

Are there people still unable to cook?

Comments