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Potty training is a nightmare

  • 26-08-2021 2:38pm
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 15,054 mod FutureGuy

    Hi all,

    Our LO is gone three and we have started the process of potty training. It’s going pretty terribly.

    We have read the books and he’s quite happy to pee his pants rather than sit on the potties or use the toilets.

    He’s able to hold the pee well. We can read the signs he wants to pee. Then begins the same cycle.

    • he starts to ask for hugs. We explain he needs a pee but refuses the potty.
    • he runs around. Again, he’ll ask for comfort and we give it while offering him a potty.
    • crying begins. Again, potty and toilet are refused.
    • he eventually get into a very distressed state and will just pee. We make sure to tell him how icky it must feel and he seems to get it.

    However, he is not just laughing and peeing in the pants.

    Any advice is greatly appreciated.



  • How long have ye being trying? My boy was just gone three as well and the first two days were a disaster. The more we tried to prompt him the more stubborn he got. When we stopped saying anything he just started going himself. Even now he’ll try and hold it sometimes and be dancing around but if we ask him does he need to pee he’ll say no.

  • Four days now. Since Monday.

    he just woke up screaming. We were close to taking him to hospital and gushed pee. He’s asleep again.

    he was in nappy for bedtime and didn’t eat to pee. He’s so confused.

  • Maybe he isn't ready yet? Are you under pressure to do it for pre school?

  • We started when our little boy was about 3, and he just wouldn't do it. He wasn't ready. We were all getting stressed so we left it a while and started again a few months later (just at the start of the first lockdown!) and he was about 3 & 1/2 and he was much better and we got it sorted in less than 2 weeks with very few accidents. Definitely leave it for a while, don't pressure him, but maybe just mention it now and again. It will happen, just give it time!

    *oh and we printed off a little sheet that we put stars on it whenever he went!

  • We were thinking he might not be ready this evening but now he refused to see in his nappy and he nearly burst. It was awful

    he hasn’t pooped now since Sunday.

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  • Haven’t trained my son yet (almost 3) but I did the training on my daughter before.

    I’ve been told it’s totally different for boys, but for what’s it worth we did the star chart (it helped), put her on the toilet every half an hour or so, loads of encouragement, and used pull-ups for the night time for a few months until she grew out of them completely.

    We also tried to train her a few months earlier and she didn’t take to it, so we left it.

    Oh, and we focussed on peeing. She was afraid of pooing in the toilet for some time. My wife showed her “pooland” several times, and there’s a Daniel tiger episode about toilet training that helped too.

  • We have just been through something similar. Started potty training my just three year old in June. Day one and two went ok, a few accidents. She started becoming anxious and holding on to wee. Eventually burst with a huge accident while unfortunately I had run to the loo myself. Her four year old sister started screaming and so did the three year old. Very traumatic.

    Put the nappies back on after that but she kept holding on, becoming more and more distressed. Thought she would release when she fell asleep but no such luck. Was awake a lot of nights squirming to hold on.

    She did the same thing of looking for hugs when she needed to go. This is all with the nappy still on. She would do what we now call the wee dance saying that she is going to wee on the floor. We explained that she was wearing a nappy but it didn't click.

    I'm afraid it took a good few weeks for her to get over it. She is dry now every morning and tells us when she is doing a wee in her nappy. Will brave the potty again in September. Thankfully she kept on doing poos in the nappy as normal

    It was hugely stressful but time was the only thing that helped. Good luck

  • I have four boys and I can tell you something, boys will not do it until they are ready.

    I'd have the potty in its place and refer to it now and again, remind him what it's for before even trying again. Get his favourite Teddy to use it for a while. But he won't do it until he's ready, and you'll know when he starts associating what he's doing in his nappy and saying potty etc.!

  • Chance your arm at putting a ping pong ball in the loo and having him aim at it? We had far more success with both ours peeing standing up like daddy tbh