Who do you meet in heaven?

Hangdogroad · 26-02-2021 10:50am

Surreptitious wrote: »

Oh heaven is a place on earth. You know in heaven love comes first

Bring a map in case you end up south of Heaven like those Slayer lads.

growleaves · 26-02-2021 11:10am

Note: I'm answering these question from a heterodox Christian p.o.v.

I'm a Christian unaffiliated to any church, influenced by Mormon theology and other writings.

You would get different answers from the perspective of mainstream Catholic/Protestant/Orthodox theology.

The chan chan man wrote: »

Maybe some religious guys could help me with these ones..

1. Suppose my wife dies and...goes to heaven.. I remarry years later and then me and my new wife die. Do i meet my old wife in heaven who’s been waiting for me for 30 years and I show up with my new bird?

You have to make an eternal commitment to one or the other and they make a commitment to you. Then presumably the other can remarry in heaven, or not.

2. Which version of me exists in heaven? Me in my prime or the decrepit 102 year old that died?

When you are resurrected your soul goes in a new body. This is something that it isn't discussed much and most people, including most religious people, seem to envision disembodied spirits floating around heaven.

In the Gospel of John, after Jesus Christ is resurrected he has a new body which is different and superior to a human body. Read those passages in the Gospels about Jesus after he has been resurrected to get a picture.

3. Who’s in heaven? Every person that ever died? Neanderthals? Cro-Magnon man? How far back are we talkin here?

Of people who made it into heaven? I don't see why not. Assuming they have souls I would expect some of them to be there yes. I'm not basing this on any theology, just giving you my intuitive answer.

growleaves · 26-02-2021 11:21am

NickNickleby wrote: »

Decades ago, I read a book called "Stranger in a Strange Land". The central character eventually dies and goes to heaven. Where he meets all the bad guys he had known. Apparently, there was neither reward nor punishment in the afterlife. So all his years of self control were for nothing :pac::pac::pac:.

But of course, we know otherwise. Well I do, and I'm being a real goody two shoes, till I get over there. Yee-haw, can't wait !!!

When I get there, I'll look down and see can I see Mr O'Connell, and if I see him I'll pi$$ on him for running over my rabbit.

Ninthlife wrote: »

So..Jesus was the original Del Boy, sell anything to anyone. He convinced everyone that heaven was Trific so for centuries we're all cushtie about living by the 'rules' cause if we die we'll go to heaven but what if it aint cushtie...just like those Russian VCRs

Meanwhile down stairs in hell its 24/7 party

Gospel according to Dave, chapter 4, paragraph 16

He who dares Rodders, He who dares

I don't see goodness as following any kind of 'rules based' system of morality.

Don't get me wrong, asceticism may be good for some people. But in general 'following the rules' and calling yourself good is not being good.

Look at all the people who allow their worst instincts free rein because they feel the law is on their side. Lawful evil, this is called.

Read the Gospels where Jesus himself is breaking all kinds of religious laws and every-time people are scandalised the message from him is 'But following the rules is not the point. Real effort to be good is'

Gregor Samsa · 26-02-2021 12:38pm

Nekarsulm wrote: »

If you read the Bible, there is no one in Heaven yet.
After the Second Coming of Jesus, all will be judged, and sorted accordingly.

Well Jesus told one of the criminals crucified with him "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." So technically, it's just the two of them, all alone, for the past 2,000 years.

If my 11 months of working from home with the kids off school is anything to go by, the place will be in a total state by the time everyone else gets there.

EmmetSpiceland · 26-02-2021 12:50pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Well Jesus told one of the criminals crucified with him "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." So technically, it's just the two of them, all alone, for the past 2,000 years.

Incorrect. Holy Mary is also there but she got her body in too, if I’m not mistaken, so she is feeling every second of those 2,000, or so, years.

I’m fairly sure Elijah was taken to heaven alive, not sure if his body went with him though. And it’s possible another “prophet type”, or biblical figure, was taken too.

Seems more like a soirée than a party.

Gael23 · 26-02-2021 12:53pm

The worms and snails that turn you into plant food in the ground

Gregor Samsa · 26-02-2021 12:55pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Incorrect. Holy Mary is also there but she got her body in too, if I’m not mistaken, so she is feeling every second of those 2,000, or so, years.

I’m fairly sure Elijah was taken to heaven alive, not sure if his body went with him though. And it’s possible another “prophet type”, or biblical figure, was taken too.

Seems more like a soirée than a party.

Poor Jesus. 2,000 years with his mother, some thief and a pyromaniac. Not my idea of paradise.

Mad_maxx · 26-02-2021 1:06pm

The chan chan man wrote: »

Maybe some religious guys could help me with these ones..

1. Suppose my wife dies and...goes to heaven.. I remarry years later and then me and my new wife die. Do i meet my old wife in heaven who’s been waiting for me for 30 years and I show up with my new bird?

2. Which version of me exists in heaven? Me in my prime or the decrepit 102 year old that died?

3. Who’s in heaven? Every person that ever died? Neanderthals? Cro-Magnon man? How far back are we talkin here?

what i dont understand about the whole heaven thing is

for those who have a pretty grim existence down here but who firmly believe in an afterlife , if things are so great in heaven , surely they themselves must be fully content beings and if so , how do they appreciate it if they are completely different from the wretches they were in this life ?

COVID · 26-02-2021 1:22pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

what i dont understand about the whole heaven thing is

for those who have a pretty grim existence down here but who firmly believe in an afterlife , if things are so great in heaven , surely they themselves must be fully content beings and if so , how do they appreciate it if they are completely different from the wretches they were in this life ?

Snap, on the above.

It's the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning.!

Esel · 26-02-2021 2:20pm

Heaven is no other people.

26-02-2021 2:30pm

Seemingly only 144,000 is the capacity of heaven.

no way am i making the cut anyway

Professor Moriarty · 26-02-2021 2:35pm

"The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."

realdanbreen · 26-02-2021 2:43pm

growleaves wrote: »

I don't see goodness as following any kind of 'rules based' system of morality.

Don't get me wrong, asceticism may be good for some people. But in general 'following the rules' and calling yourself good is not being good.

Look at all the people who allow their worst instincts free rein because they feel the law is on their side. Lawful evil, this is called.

Read the Gospels where Jesus himself is breaking all kinds of religious laws and every-time people are scandalised the message from him is 'But following the rules is not the point. Real effort to be good is'

But Jesus only arrived on earth to spread the good news only 2K years or so ago. What about the billions of people who lived and died prior to that?
What became of them.

realdanbreen · 26-02-2021 2:44pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Seemingly only 144,000 is the capacity of heaven.

no way am i making the cut anyway

They made a right balls of it by getting rid of the terracing!

growleaves · 26-02-2021 2:52pm

realdanbreen wrote: »

But Jesus only arrived on earth to spread the good news only 2K years or so ago. What about the billions of people who lived and died prior to that?
What became of them.

Far as I know those people are given an option to go to heaven as well.

In Orthodox theology, Jesus goes down into Sheol or Hades to 'rescue' disembodied spirits who lived and died before his crucifixion and resurrection. That may not be exactly right, but that is my memory - it is something like that

Again as with 'rules' and legalism generally, I think it is safe to say that people are not barred from heaven (or admitted to heaven for that matter) based on 'technicalities'.

COVID · 26-02-2021 3:06pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Seemingly only 144,000 is the capacity of heaven.

no way am i making the cut anyway

Yeah, but that was before they brought in the all-seater Heaven (health & safety).

The capacity of Heaven is said to mirror that of Hampden Park, Glasgow.
In 1937 a crowd of over 147,000 filled the stadium to watch the Scottish Cup Final between Celtic and Aberdeen.

Whereas now the capacity of Hampden is a mere 51,866.

So comparing like with like, I'd say the capacity of Heaven is just under 50,000.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings; if you thought you hadn't a chance before when standing was allowed, you certainly haven't a snowball's chance in hell now.

Have you thought of Purgatory?

It's hardly luxurious, but it's clean, and the people therein, though not perfect, are well-meaning and nice....to a fault.

Badly Drunk Boy · 26-02-2021 4:39pm

.anon. wrote: »

Just the Catholic ones.

No, people of all religions. Except the Prods. Everybody but the Prods... :pac:

Or this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmyzYBeGrE8

barbara anne · 26-02-2021 4:42pm

Noone please god. I'll be happy in a cosy bed, chilling with netflix, a nice beverage (NOT SHERRY) and a bar galaxy chocolate.

Your Face · 26-02-2021 4:47pm

You meet the Shiba Inu who created the universe.

realdanbreen · 26-02-2021 4:58pm

growleaves wrote: »

Far as I know those people are given an option to go to heaven as well.

In Orthodox theology, Jesus goes down into Sheol or Hades to 'rescue' disembodied spirits who lived and died before his crucifixion and resurrection. That may not be exactly right, but that is my memory - it is something like that

Again as with 'rules' and legalism generally, I think it is safe to say that people are not barred from heaven (or admitted to heaven for that matter) based on 'technicalities'.

With all due respect do you seriously think any adults believe this garbage.." given an option to go to heaven "!

growleaves · 26-02-2021 5:02pm

realdanbreen wrote: »

With all due respect do you seriously think any adults believe this garbage.." given an option to go to heaven "!

I've answered questions in good faith in case its helpful to anyone.

I'm aware that boards, and the whole country, is full of sulking atheists. Not my problem.

silliussoddius · 26-02-2021 5:09pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Seemingly only 144,000 is the capacity of heaven.

no way am i making the cut anyway

And don't those 144,000 have to be from 12 groups of Israeli tribes?

realdanbreen · 26-02-2021 5:12pm

growleaves wrote: »

I've answered questions in good faith in case its helpful to anyone.

I'm aware that boards, and the whole country, is full of sulking atheists. Not my problem.

But your answer is nonsensical, I mean read it again, it doesn't answer any question!

growleaves · 26-02-2021 5:18pm

realdanbreen wrote: »

But your answer is nonsensical, I mean read it again, it doesn't answer any question!

Let me simplify

1. We're discussing heaven

2. You asked what about the people who lived and died before Jesus Christ's ministry

3. I said that they could be allowed to go to heaven (at a later date)

realdanbreen · 26-02-2021 5:49pm

growleaves wrote: »

Let me simplify

1. We're discussing heaven

2. You asked what about the people who lived and died before Jesus Christ's ministry

3. I said that they could be allowed to go to heaven (at a later date)

Correct, and I answered if you seriously believed that adults believed that garbage, which led you to go off on one about sulking atheists.

growleaves · 26-02-2021 5:52pm

realdanbreen wrote: »

Correct, and I answered if you seriously believed that adults believed that garbage, which led you to go off on one about sulking atheists.

Lol we aren't going to agree so not much point in continuing discussion. Have a good weekend mate