WTF is mansplaining?

Eleven Benevolent Elephants · 31-10-2020 3:18pm #1

There was a post on Facebook about NZ's covid numbers relative to ours. Someone posted applauding Arden for her actions.

I replied to her comment and said that Arden is not all she's cracked up to be (from what my Kiwi co-worker told me) and that the falling covid numbers are not entirely her doing.

She reacted to my comment with the FB laugh react and asked me to back up my claim.

So I did. I posted factual information and said that Ireland cannot be compared to NZ, our population is more densely centred, they have no common land borders and no free movement equivalent of the EU.

She then burst into a rage and accused me of "mansplaining" (sic), how dare I patronisingly give her a geography lesson, even though she was the one who asked me to back up my statement.

I replied, can you not have a civil discussion without accusing me of "mansplaining".
Her response: "Typical misogynist, insulting women at every step, of course I can debate".

She then went on a tirade of abuse mocking my appearance and making personal insults. Dafuq?

The fuck is "mansplaining" ?? and can you not disagree with a woman for fear of being accused of it?

Foweva Awone · 31-10-2020 3:19pm

Let me just mansplain it to you...

ThewhiteJesus · 31-10-2020 3:21pm

It’s a Mary Lou classic, what does that tell you

jam_mac_jam · 31-10-2020 3:21pm

It's a horrible term and I wouldn't bother your arse arguing with anyone who uses it.

Rodney Bathgate · 31-10-2020 3:24pm

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

It’s a Mary Lou classic, what does that tell you

That it is “woke” bullshįte?

gogo · 31-10-2020 3:25pm

Two sides to every argument, post the exact convo and let’s us make an informed decision.

There is such a thing as mansplaining, I work in a male dominated environment for years, it absolutely exists.
Not everyone, not all the time but it’s deffo a thing.

As for your convo, no idea... hard to tell from one side of the story

31-10-2020 3:25pm

Women, shur..

Trouser Snake · 31-10-2020 3:26pm

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

It’s a Mary Lou classic, what does that tell you

Where did she say that again? Had forgotten all about it, I remember cringing at the time.

jam_mac_jam · 31-10-2020 3:26pm

gogo wrote: »

Two sides to every argument, post the exact convo and let’s us make an informed decision.

There is such a thing as mansplaining, I work in a male dominated environment for years, it absolutely exists.
Not everyone, not all the time but it’s deffo a thing.

As for your convo, no idea... hard to tell from one side of the story

Why not use the word condescension or patronised? Why bring someone's sex into it?

31-10-2020 3:28pm

Its women getting crabit when she doesn't know something and a man has to explain it to her.

TP_CM · 31-10-2020 3:30pm

I think, fortunately, you will only encounter that word in the bottom half of the internet. If you surround yourself with good intelligent people day to day you'll probably live a life without really needing to hear it. As a general rule for happiness though, stay away from the bottom half of the internet. It's an absolute cesspit.

The Mighty Quinn · 31-10-2020 3:31pm

gogo wrote: »

Two sides to every argument, post the exact convo and let’s us make an informed decision.

This. Redact names, and post the conversation.

jam_mac_jam · 31-10-2020 3:31pm

I think it's usually used to dismiss people based on who they are rather then what they are saying. In that case there is no point arguing.

JohnnyFlash · 31-10-2020 3:35pm

It’s where a man keeps his legs wide apart and displays the outline of his cock and balls.

gogo · 31-10-2020 3:37pm

jam_mac_jam wrote: »

Why not use the word condescension or patronised? Why bring someone's sex into it?

I don’t use the word myself, I use dick head instead.. but honestly I can see where it came from, ever been the only woman in a room full of men, and be spoken to like a child for no reason other than your sex? Gender imbalance is rife in ireland, that why someone’s sex was brought into it I’d imagine, just my two cents, I still prefer dickhead

LillySV · 31-10-2020 3:39pm

It’s when a man proves that a woman is thick , and she can’t accept it

jam_mac_jam · 31-10-2020 3:40pm

gogo wrote: »

I don’t use the word myself, I use dick head instead.. but honestly I can see where it came from, ever been the only woman in a room full of men, and be spoken to like a child for no reason other than your sex? Gender imbalance is rife in ireland, that why someone’s sex was brought into it I’d imagine, just my two cents, I still prefer dickhead

Yes I have. Loads of times. I also would prefer the word dickhead.

440Hertz · 31-10-2020 3:40pm

It’s just one of those shut down terms like “oh! you’re such a Karen” or “OK boomer” aimed at anyone over about 35 who raises a point you don’t like.

With “mansplaining” I get that some guys have been very patronising to women and there’s a legacy of a patriarchal society that often dismissed women’s opinions, but in most cases it’s thrown around as a term totally inappropriately to shut someone up.

The “Karen” thing is also particularly nasty. It was a really popular name, especially in the 70s & 80s I know two women who’ve had to change their names as a result of it and just feel they’re the butt of a never ending joke now.

If you’re attacking the speaker / poster on the basis of their gender, appearance, race, accent, sexual orientation, nationality, or any other personal attribute instead of actually responding to their statement based on what they’ve said, you’re losing the argument and are just bullying to shut down the discussion.

Boards for example has a long standing mantra “attack the post and never the poster.” The same applies in any debate.

Gregor Samsa · 31-10-2020 3:41pm

I’ve no doubt it exists. Whether there’s other words for it is neither here nor there. And I’ve do doubt the word is often misused.

On the face of it, it seems the only crime you committed was arguing on Facebook. I don’t think anything ever good comes of that.

whisky_galore · 31-10-2020 3:41pm

Just another rock thrown by third wave feminists when they have nothing of value to bring to the table themselves.

Church on Tuesday · 31-10-2020 3:42pm

It's a term certain women use when they realize they are gradually losing an argument.

LillySV · 31-10-2020 3:44pm

440Hertz wrote: »

It’s just one of those shut down terms like “oh! you’re such a Karen” or “OK boomer” aimed at anyone over about 35 who raises a point you don’t like.

With “mansplaining” I get that some guys have been very patronising to women and there’s a legacy of a patriarchal society that often dismissed women’s opinions, but in most cases it’s thrown around as a term totally inappropriately to shut someone up.

The “Karen” thing is also particularly nasty. It was a really popular name, especially in the 70s & 80s I know two women who’ve had to change their names as a result of it and just feel they’re the butt of a never ending joke now.

If you’re attacking the speaker / poster on the basis of their gender, appearance, race, accent, sexual orientation, nationality, or any other personal attribute instead of actually responding to their statement based on what they’ve said, you’re losing the argument and are just bullying to shut down the discussion.

Boards for example has a long standing mantra “attack the post and never the poster.” The same applies in any debate.

Exactly the case... if someone can’t come up with a valid reply, they resort to **** like that ... your either mansplaining , sexist, intolerant , prejudist... whatever **** they can try through at u to put u down as the loser

Mister Vain · 31-10-2020 3:45pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's a term certain women use when they realize they are gradually losing an argument.

Ahh but the woman is always right though.

440Hertz · 31-10-2020 3:49pm

To be honest it’s not just women or any other group and it’s emerging on all sides of political debates. I don’t give any one side or group has a monopoly on it.

It’s a nasty, personal attack approach to discussion that’s becoming more dominant, especially on some social media platforms.

Formula is: apply nasty label, reduce opponent to caricature be it “liberal,” “lefty,” “shinbot,” “Karen,” “mansplaining,” “boomer” ... the list is endless and retreat to your smug bunker be it on the right, the left, particular political views etc etc

It’s what happens when you reduce debate to volleys of 140-160 characters of bile.

Trump is a world leader in this technique: just take a nasty school yard like name and apply it to an opponent.

Stark · 31-10-2020 3:50pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

It’s where a man keeps his legs wide apart and displays the outline of his cock and balls.

That's manspreading that you're manthinking of.

Pherekydes · 31-10-2020 3:53pm

It's when a man explains something to a woman about a subject she is already well versed or expert in.

HugoRune · 31-10-2020 3:54pm

Mansplaining: When a woman explains something, but nobody pays attention until the same thing is said by a man.

Having worked in the UK for a long time, I have my own personal version which I refer to as Britsplaining.

Nexytus · 31-10-2020 3:54pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOXh5repOWI

440Hertz · 31-10-2020 3:56pm

Pherekydes wrote: »

It's when a man explains something to a woman about a subject she is already well versed or expert in.

Which, at least from what is being reported by the OP, what the other party did in this case by completely dismissing an Irish person’s local expertise and detailed understanding of why the geographical and practical issues in Ireland are very different from New Zealand. So if anyone was *splaining, it wasn’t the OP.

HugoRune wrote: »

Mansplaining: When a woman explains something, but nobody pays attention until the same thing is said by a man.

Having worked in the UK for a long time, I have my own personal version which I refer to as Britsplaining.

Yeah I’ve had that. Such as for example being told why I had a chip on my shoulder for not accepting that Ireland was “a British country” because it is part of the geographical entity commonly referred to as the “British isles” and “that’s why U2 are a British act.”

And being told that I’ve been mispronouncing my own name for my entire life, which isn’t even in English!

The funniest one, was someone telling me about my “Catholic guilt” which is odd as I’m an atheist from a long line of atheists and before that they were mostly Protestants lol

It doesn’t uniquely apply to Irish targets either, a French colleague of mine had a guy in London explain to him how French politics worked. The French guy is a political scientist and lives in France and the British guy works for a bank and likes to pontificate in the pub.

That and “of course the English know far more about wine than the French. We starred the trade in Claret”

I still wouldn’t call it Britsplaining though, just being a pompous asshat.

KevRossi · 31-10-2020 4:13pm

I've always been told when giving presentations to people who are not all familiar with my field to avoid using 'jargon'. It's something you are taught and should be aware of. Fine when using it in a group of people in your section of industry, not in a group of 'outsiders'.

Last year I was giving a presentation to about 20 people, 4 of whom would be familiar with the field, the others were not; they were economists, project managers, logistics and PR people. I gave a 40 minute presentation which was well received and then 1 of the 4 who was a woman, stood up and thanked me condescendingly for 'mansplaining'. She asked me a question; I responded using jargon and was then asked by another woman to repeat the question without using jargon as the other 16 people in the room hadn't a notion about what I was on about.

You can't win with some people.

_Whimsical_ · 31-10-2020 5:21pm

WTF is mansplaining?

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