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53 - dating a man 7 years younger

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  • 18-09-2020 5:07pm
    #1
    Hannaho
    Registered Users Posts: 722 ✭✭✭


    I met someone really nice recently. He is 7 years younger. I am a bit wary of continuing to date him. He says he doesn't want children, and has never done so, but I feel I would be holding him back from meeting someone his own age or younger. Besides this, we click on many levels. Just wondering what people think re age gap.


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    #2
    Scuid Mhór
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭Scuid Mhór


    I would consider that age gap to basically be non existent at your age.


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    #3
    Tork
    Registered Users Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭Tork


    He's 46 so if he wanted to date a younger woman and have kids, don't you think it'd have happened by now? Not everyone wants kids and maybe you should believe him when he says he doesn't want them.


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    #4
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,650 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    I echo what someone said above, I would not consider that an age gap at all. Not sure why you are even talking about it with him.

    He's 46! If he wanted kids I think he would have done it already by now, and not be going out with someone 53.

    Don't make mountains where there is not even a molehill! Don't even mention it again and just enjoy your relationship.


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    #5
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    At 46 he knows his own mind and is unlikely to change it. If he's happy and you like him, don't find problems where there are none. That might be and age gap when younger and if potential children were an issue but not otherwise.

    Go for it.


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    #6
    TheadoreT
    Registered Users Posts: 930 ✭✭✭TheadoreT


    At 46 I'd tend to believe someone who says they dont want kids, it's hardly like he's still in the 'sowing his wild oats' stage and liabile to change his mind when he grows up.
    Usually when someone becomes irrational like this when something good comes in their life it's due to plenty of pain in the past. Try now dwell on past hurt and self sabotage a hugely positive thing in your life.


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    #7
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Hannaho wrote: »
    I met someone really nice recently. He is 7 years younger. I am a bit wary of continuing to date him. He says he doesn't want children, and has never done so, but I feel I would be holding him back from meeting someone his own age or younger. Besides this, we click on many levels. Just wondering what people think re age gap.

    i really dont see an " age difference " thing here in the slightest

    if doubts exists , it shouldnt be over that


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    #8
    bobbyy gee
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,306 ✭✭✭bobbyy gee


    he's looking for a mother figure
    so he dates older woman if he does not date you he will find another just make sure he does not start looking for gifts and money


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    #9
    sunshinew
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭sunshinew


    bobbyy gee wrote: »
    he's looking for a mother figure
    so he dates older woman if he does not date you he will find another just make sure he does not start looking for gifts and money

    Cop on. He's 46 years old. A bit old to be needing a mother figure and she's only 7 years older than him, not 20!
    OP, I'd believe him when he says he doesn't want children. If he really wanted them he would be dating somebody younger. It's probably a relief for him to know that it's not going to be an issue that will come up as it might with a younger woman.
    A friend of mine aged 43 married a 34 year old guy last year and she too had her doubts at the beginning that he might leave her for somebody younger or want children. I said she could marry a guy the same age as her and he could leave her too. There are no guarantees in life! On another note men have a shorter life expectancy... You've an even amount of years left to enjoy together! I'd go with the flow... If it works out, great. If it doesn't, sounds like a great chapter to add to your life story.


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    #10
    Tork
    Registered Users Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭Tork


    bobbyy gee wrote: »
    he's looking for a mother figure
    so he dates older woman if he does not date you he will find another just make sure he does not start looking for gifts and money

    I've heard it all now. So by that logic, a 46 year old woman dating a 53 year old man is on the look out for a sugar daddy, is she?


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    #11
    1hnr79jr65
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭1hnr79jr65


    my wife is 5.5 years older than me and im 38. the 7 year gap is nothing and he obviously wants to be with you so why worry about it.

    At the end of the day he may find someone young less mature mentally or for what they want in life or he may not give a damn about age and just likes you for you Op.


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    #12
    Xterminator
    Registered Users Posts: 4,717 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    Hi OP

    Do you not respect this mans ability to choose what is good/right for himself? Because if you do then you don't have to take on the responsibility of his choices. That would leave you free to appreciate a relationship that seem to be working well for you, enjoy the connection, the companionship and the intimacy.

    The age gap is negligible. It really doesn't factor in at all. You sound afraid to fully allow yourself to be happy, and are searching for straws to clutch at. Please please dont self sabotage here.

    You have the right to be happy. you are good enough. You're never too old to find love. Embrace the good moments! That is my advice.


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    #13
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I think if he was looking for a woman to have kids with he wouldn’t be dating someone in her 50’s. Give the man credit that he knows what he wants. Be careful that you don’t push him away with insecurities by making up issues where none exist.


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