Stealing Apples from Nuns Orchard

Montage of Feck · 12-08-2020 09:38PM #1

A very old-school and now strange crime in Cobh where apples were stolen from the orchard of some contemplative nuns. Could the oft lemented act, of thieving from orchards, of older generations be making a comeback?

corner of hells · 12-08-2020 09:52PM

Montage of Feck wrote: »

A very old-school and now strange crime in Cobh where apples were stolen from the orchard of some contemplative nuns. Could the oft lemented act, of thieving from orchards, of older generations be making a comeback?

Tis an old trade , young uns dont or cant do it nowadays.
I was part of a raiding party that hit many an orchard where I grew up.
Skilled operatives knew to have thier customers arranged in advance buying plenty of small bags to sell the apples in locality.
We even had a couple of younger brothers who were part of a diversionary raiding party in order to distract the farmer.
All was going well, till some ol one complained to my mother about the quality of apples we were selling.
Grounded for the summer was the sentence.

Ash.J.Williams · 12-08-2020 09:56PM

Wait til the historical orchard crimes get prosecuted

biko · 12-08-2020 09:59PM

We were all at it back in the day.

Good times.

Strumms · 12-08-2020 10:07PM

biko wrote: »

We were all at it back in the day.

Good times.

Church on Tuesday · 12-08-2020 10:07PM

There ya go.

McGinniesta · 13-08-2020 12:05AM

I used to try to get hand jobs in my local orchard. What's wrong with these people?

take everything · 13-08-2020 12:35AM

This shocked me to the CORE when i heard it.

Leg End Reject · 13-08-2020 01:40AM

I've yet to meet a nun who isn't a cnut, that's after years of them 'educating' me.

corner of hells · 13-08-2020 01:42AM

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I've yet to meet a nun who isn't a cnut, that's after years of them 'educating' me.

They particularly terrify me when they flap their wings and fly away , oh wait , that's bats .

Church on Tuesday · 13-08-2020 01:57AM

corner of hells wrote: »

They particularly terrify me when they flap their wings and fly away , oh wait , that's bats .

They always reminded me of penguins for some reason.

Hamsterchops · 13-08-2020 07:09AM

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Stealing Apples from Nuns Orchard.

As long as they don't make a habit of it

Panthro · 13-08-2020 07:12AM

Not a fan of Orchard Thieves me.

everlast75 · 13-08-2020 07:24AM

The title sounds like an Urban Dictionary phrase...

Darc19 · 13-08-2020 07:35AM

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

Wait til the historical orchard crimes get prosecuted

There has to be a tribunal first and that is after an orchards theft all party advisory committee is set up. (€8,500 allowance for each td involved)

ohnonotgmail · 13-08-2020 09:09AM

everlast75 wrote: »

The title sounds like an Urban Dictionary phrase...

my first thought was that it was a euphemism i wasn't familiar with.

fryup · 13-08-2020 11:32AM

I reckon Fr Jack stole them....;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD-fPb87mVA

ClydeTallyBump · 13-08-2020 11:36AM

A truly bizarre headline. Why would you steal 10 wheelbarrows of apples? To make cider?

JupiterKid · 13-08-2020 02:30PM

Did this thread fall into 2020 from the 1950s? :pac:

pgj2015 · 13-08-2020 03:06PM

we all know who we suspected when we first heard about it.

Gregor Samsa · 13-08-2020 04:17PM

everlast75 wrote: »

The title sounds like an Urban Dictionary phrase...

"Stealing Apples from a Nuns Orchard"

When a man, standing naked astride a penguin, reaches down and tickles the penguin under the flippers, making it shake uncontrollably like one would do to an apple tree one was trying to knock apples from, thus imparting vibrational pleasure to the man.

Sorry lads, I can't go to the zoo. I was barred for stealing apples from a nuns orchard last time.

Hotblack Desiato · 13-08-2020 06:08PM

Never fear, the taxpayer is stepping in :rolleyes:

https://www.rte.ie/news/munster/2020/0811/1158627-nuns-apples/

Just like they do for all other crime victims... oh wait.

If they're stuck for a few quid I'm sure the Mercy nuns, who own a private healthcare empire worth billions, and don't believe in compensating their abuse victims, could give them a hand.

It actually says in the constitution that the state shall not endow a religion i.e. give it money

nthclare · 13-08-2020 06:10PM

There's always a pear of them in it.

pgj2015 · 13-08-2020 08:31PM

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Never fear, the taxpayer is stepping in :rolleyes:

https://www.rte.ie/news/munster/2020/0811/1158627-nuns-apples/

Just like they do for all other crime victims... oh wait.

If they're stuck for a few quid I'm sure the Mercy nuns, who own a private healthcare empire worth billions, and don't believe in compensating their abuse victims, could give them a hand.

It actually says in the constitution that the state shall not endow a religion i.e. give it money

I know a nun and I know they get very very little to live off, the church has a lot of money but the nuns don't see any of it. 20 euro to a nun like these would be like 200 euro for you and me.

Geuze · 13-08-2020 11:02PM

pgj2015 wrote: »

I know a nun and I know they get very very little to live off, the church has a lot of money but the nuns don't see any of it. .

The parish accounts I've read don't indicate that "the church have a lot of money".

They own a lot of buildings that require maintenance.

MrMusician18 · 13-08-2020 11:07PM

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Never fear, the taxpayer is stepping in :rolleyes:

https://www.rte.ie/news/munster/2020/0811/1158627-nuns-apples/

Just like they do for all other crime victims... oh wait.

If they're stuck for a few quid I'm sure the Mercy nuns, who own a private healthcare empire worth billions, and don't believe in compensating their abuse victims, could give them a hand.

It actually says in the constitution that the state shall not endow a religion i.e. give it money

But they're not giving them money, they're giving them apples

SEPT 23 1989 · 13-08-2020 11:13PM

The nun who spoke on the news seemed like a really beautiful person

Shame on the usual suspects who stole their apples

Hotblack Desiato · 14-08-2020 12:05AM

pgj2015 wrote: »

I know a nun and I know they get very very little to live off, the church has a lot of money but the nuns don't see any of it. 20 euro to a nun like these would be like 200 euro for you and me.

They took a vow of poverty, that was their choice, and they can leave you know.

The orders of nuns which run hospitals and/or have big property holdings are rolling in cash.

Poor individuals, rich organisation - that's how they like it.

Geuze wrote: »

The parish accounts I've read don't indicate that "the church have a lot of money".

They own a lot of buildings that require maintenance.

They also own sh!tloads of prime development land, and have sold hundreds of millions worth of it in the greater Dublin area alone - fcuk knows where that money went because abuse victims got feck all of it.

MrMusician18 wrote: »

But they're not giving them money, they're giving them apples

It's still a cost to the taxpayer.

We can expect a lot more of this sort of thing with FF in government.

hurikane · 14-08-2020 12:09AM

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Never fear, the taxpayer is stepping in :rolleyes:

https://www.rte.ie/news/munster/2020/0811/1158627-nuns-apples/

Just like they do for all other crime victims... oh wait.

If they're stuck for a few quid I'm sure the Mercy nuns, who own a private healthcare empire worth billions, and don't believe in compensating their abuse victims, could give them a hand.

It actually says in the constitution that the state shall not endow a religion i.e. give it money

Relax, all they did was give them apples from another orchard.

John Hutton · 14-08-2020 12:16AM

Amazing how any mention of anything Catholic (contemplative nuns having apples stolen is as harmless as you can get) brings out the Catholic hating bigots in force

Glad the nuns have got some apples from the OPW to make their chutney.

John Hutton · 14-08-2020 12:21AM

It's a nice story in the end, see the article and video of the nuns: https://www.rte.ie/news/munster/2020/0812/1158814-nuns-apples/

Stealing Apples from Nuns Orchard

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