Empath fallen into the hands of a narcissist

Hannibal_Smith · 24-07-2020 05:49PM

If you feel like you're broken after 2 months, end it. It's not working out for you is all the explanation you need. End it. Block him on absolutely everything because he's going to lambaste you with affection.

Don't stay in something that's breaking you from the start.

MissShihTzu · 24-07-2020 05:53PM

I dunno. I find the OP's post very, very odd. They apparently KNOW what's going on, but won't take steps to end it. I don't want to sound horrible or downplay your situation - But to me? The post reeks of self-indulgence and self pity.

Are you THAT desperate for a partner that you have to put up with this rubbish after only 2 months? You owe him NOTHING. If you can't break up face to face, then just ghost him. Change your number and disappear! Very, very easy to do - IF you want to do it.

I hope it works our for you.

JJayoo · 24-07-2020 05:54PM

bitofabind wrote: »

I found your post very navel-gazing and self-indulgent. The amateur armchair stuff and labelling oneself in this way is not helpful whatsoever. Here's why:

1. It creates drama and gives meaning to a very straight-forward situation where you've met and fallen for a bit of a dick. We've all fallen for a bit of a dick. The solution is also very straight forward.

2. It makes you feel "special" and prevents you from taking action, when you can feel sorry for yourself for your special-ness instead. I'm not sure what you mean by "vulnerable", but applying this label and "empath" to yourself ascribes no personal responsibility to you at all, which leads me to my next point -

3. it paints this situation as out of your control and inevitable. It is not. You are an adult with personal choice. You are that before you are a vulnerable empath. What happens next is entirely down to you.

This is more drama. It's entirely disproportionate to the situation at hand. You started seeing this guy TWO MONTHS AGO. I've a packet of ham sitting in my fridge longer than that. There is no "before I met him", there's a lad you've taken for a test drive for a short time and he's turned out to be a total dud. The practical next step is to get out of the car and let him drive on to his next victim. Instead of creating a narrative in your own head about how inevitable it is that you are damned to be miserable with a lad like him because you're just walking around feeling all this empathy for people all the time.

No. Stop it now OP. No more stories and internal monologues, follow the practical next steps.

Boom there you go.

Gwen Cooper · 24-07-2020 08:18PM

MissShihTzu wrote: »

I dunno. I find the OP's post very, very odd. They apparently KNOW what's going on, but won't take steps to end it. I don't want to sound horrible or downplay your situation - But to me? The post reeks of self-indulgence and self pity.

Are you THAT desperate for a partner that you have to put up with this rubbish after only 2 months? You owe him NOTHING. If you can't break up face to face, then just ghost him. Change your number and disappear! Very, very easy to do - IF you want to do it.

I hope it works our for you.

Unfortunately true narcissists do have a way of finding a suitable victim and pulling them in. Even after a short while it can feel that there is no way out.

As I said above, I have an ongoing thing with a narcissist. I hope I won’t fall for it again, but I’m already catching myself waiting for an invitation in. It’s simultaneously the most awful and painful relationship I’ve ever been in, but also the best. Somehow they can find the balance to keep the victim in and often people can only get out with a help of a professional.

I can 100% relate to OP. It’s an awful situation to be in and it can feel like there’s no escape. It’s very hard to explain to people who haven’t experienced it.

LegacyUser · 25-07-2020 10:25AM

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

OP, I have been in the same situation. Met a guy, he was amazing. He was funny and very loving and thoughtful. I fell in love very quickly. After a few months he started throwing in little moments where I was questioning things. It ended up in emotional abuse very quickly, and he had me wrapped around his finger, and he knew it. It lasted 7 years. 7 years of cheating, lying, gaslighting, putting me down. The things you say - putting down your looks one day and then telling you that you are the most beautiful creature he's ever seen the next day, when I wanted to tell him about something that maybe happened at work or with friends, he would also start singing, and then when I got annoyed, he'd say "ok, tell me your boring story" or "fine, tell me what's going on in that brain of yours".

Thing with these people is that their behaviour towards you will get worse with time, and if he's like this after two months, you can bet it will get worse.

Please leave. Get a therapist if you can - it's not a stupid thing to see a therapists about. Narcissists will absolutely ruin you if you let them.

I'm currently not with "my" narcissist, but I know it's only a matter of time until he pulls me in again. You basically become addicted to those little good moments he gives you (and you will be getting these less and less often) to the point that you will be willing to overlook all the abuse.

Please do something and run before he completely destroys you.

OP here.

Thank you for this response. I'm so sorry you've ended up in this situation, as you and I both know it takes a huge toll on your mental health. I can so relate to everything you've said. It's only been 2 months and he's managed to undermine and shame me completely. I've also been told my stories are boring! Once he said "Why are you even telling me this?". It sort of shocks you into being quiet.

I am sorry for your pain, I really hope you will find a way to get away from this person and start rebuilding yourself.

LegacyUser · 25-07-2020 10:32AM

OP here. I understand that some of you see my post as being self indulgent or dramatic, but that wasn't my intention. I was trying to explain things as best I could. I know people say I should just leave, but I do feel I'm in a difficult situation that's hard to explain.

I haven't just met a "dick" I've met a manipulative man who has caused me a lot of pain and I am angry with myself for not walking away. Yes, I have personal choice, yes, I have personal responsibility. But I feel stuck and there is a powerful dynamic at play here that, unless you have ever been in, is hard to explain. It's like being pulled into a spiders web. And again, not to sound self pitying, but I really feel at my lowest because of this man.

I plan to leave him but unfortunately it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Whilst I appreciate constructive feedback please remember you're talking to a human being here and being overly harsh when I already feel awful is not helpful to me.

Thank you for the kind comments I have received.

valoren · 25-07-2020 10:51AM

Stop doing the paralysis by analysis because you'll end up rationalizing reasons to stay with this head melting guy and no one wishes that on you. Don't be lulled into that "I can fix him" mindset.

Here's the thing with people like him. You focus on his positive traits as if they somehow counter weight the awful side of him. Remember there are other guys out there who have the positive traits but lack the awful traits.

Hannibal_Smith · 25-07-2020 11:02AM

Why do you feel stuck OP? At 2 months you're not living together or made joint commitments to anything. Why do you feel you are stuck?

If you ended it what do you think would happen?

Akrasia · 25-07-2020 11:10AM

helpleaving wrote: »

OP here. I understand that some of you see my post as being self indulgent or dramatic, but that wasn't my intention. I was trying to explain things as best I could. I know people say I should just leave, but I do feel I'm in a difficult situation that's hard to explain.

I haven't just met a "dick" I've met a manipulative man who has caused me a lot of pain and I am angry with myself for not walking away. Yes, I have personal choice, yes, I have personal responsibility. But I feel stuck and there is a powerful dynamic at play here that, unless you have ever been in, is hard to explain. It's like being pulled into a spiders web. And again, not to sound self pitying, but I really feel at my lowest because of this man.

I plan to leave him but unfortunately it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Whilst I appreciate constructive feedback please remember you're talking to a human being here and being overly harsh when I already feel awful is not helpful to me.

Thank you for the kind comments I have received.

Unless he has you tied up somewhere then you are free to leave.

If you recognize that it’s not working and he’s causing you harm then you need to pull the plug and go.

You’re asking for advice on a forum, you don’t need advice, you need the courage to follow through with the decision you have already made

JeffKenna · 25-07-2020 11:12AM

Unfortunately the real problem I see is that you're unable to leave a relationship after 2 months. Life isn't full of nice people and if you're that vulnerable you aren't in the right space to consider dating. You need to go to a counsellor asap and try and identify what underlying issues exist for you.

Big Bag of Chips · 25-07-2020 11:18AM

You are dating a few weeks. Have you dated other men that didn't work out? Have you ever ended a relationship? Regardless of whatever label you have attributed to him, regardless of whatever control you feel he has, he is still just a man. If he has made you do something that he is threatening to expose you for (revenge porn?) then go speak to the guards and get advice.

If there is nothing like that at play then walk away.
You say it's not that simple, but it actually is. He might hound you and harass you to get back with him for a time but you can deal with that.

What's your alternative? Stay with him. Stay being belittled and humiliated. Eventually end up isolated from all friends and family. Possibly financially dependent on him. Pregnant and married?

He's not going to change. The relationship is not going to magically become lovely. You seem to have a fairly good idea of what you're facing. So your options are walk headlong into it with your eyes wide open or walk away.

There's no middle ground or "it's complicated".

Edit: if you feel stuck and feel it's not as easy to walk away as people advise you then tell someone. Tell your family. They'll make it easier for you!

Tork · 25-07-2020 11:32AM

OP, nobody here is going to break up with this man on your behalf. You are going to have to take responsibility for your part in what is going on and own your decisions. It doesn't matter whether this man is "only" a dick or has been promoted to narcissist in your mind. You still need to break up with him. The longer you stall on this, read your pop psychology, stick fancy labels on things and feel sorry for yourself, the harder it will be to end things.

I like Woodchuck's suggestion that you break up with him by text. Then block him everywhere. If you try to end this in person it will not end well for you. It's time to accept that he isn't going to change, you can't fix him and you will never be happy with him. I strongly suggest that you make an appointment with a counsellor and talk to them about this. Posting on boards can only help you so much. It's also an easier option for you and a stalling tactic.

anewme · 25-07-2020 11:32AM

helpleaving wrote: »

OP here. I understand that some of you see my post as being self indulgent or dramatic, but that wasn't my intention. I was trying to explain things as best I could. I know people say I should just leave, but I do feel I'm in a difficult situation that's hard to explain.

I haven't just met a "dick" I've met a manipulative man who has caused me a lot of pain and I am angry with myself for not walking away. Yes, I have personal choice, yes, I have personal responsibility. But I feel stuck and there is a powerful dynamic at play here that, unless you have ever been in, is hard to explain. It's like being pulled into a spiders web. And again, not to sound self pitying, but I really feel at my lowest because of this man.

I plan to leave him but unfortunately it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Whilst I appreciate constructive feedback please remember you're talking to a human being here and being overly harsh when I already feel awful is not helpful to me.

Thank you for the kind comments I have received.

Hi Op, do you have any friends or family you could speak to?

Unfortunately, you have just met an asshole and all of this empath in the grip of a narcissist is just nonsense.

Stop dressing it up as something else and making it out to be more than it is. You are wasting time and there is no reason why you should be with this person or find it hard to bin him.

I often find people who build things up like you are doing find it hard to take actions. Stop with the flowery language- Bring it back to basics- hes an asshole, you are not happy- on your bike mate! 2 months in, you owe him nothing.

No one is being overly harsh, there is no powerful dynamic at play,you are not in any difficult situation- he needs to be binned, end of. No planning to leave, just bye now! No goodbye 'talk' or end analysis either.

I would seek out a Counsellor to help with your own personal issues.

Purple Mountain · 25-07-2020 11:33AM

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Edit: if you feel stuck and feel it's not as easy to walk away as people advise you then tell someone. Tell your family. They'll make it easier for you!

Or just send him a text and say its not working, goodbye, don't contact me again.

splinter65 · 25-07-2020 11:34AM

helpleaving wrote: »

OP here.

Thank you for this response. I'm so sorry you've ended up in this situation, as you and I both know it takes a huge toll on your mental health. I can so relate to everything you've said. It's only been 2 months and he's managed to undermine and shame me completely. I've also been told my stories are boring! Once he said "Why are you even telling me this?". It sort of shocks you into being quiet.

I am sorry for your pain, I really hope you will find a way to get away from this person and start rebuilding yourself.

Hi OP. I’m sorry that you are in this situation but I really feel that you need to get some help for your life going forward.
You only know this horrible guy a very very short time. You don’t live with him, you’re just dating. You can’t have spent any significant amount of time with him.You have not entered (I assume) into any financial contracts with him (or even booked a holiday) and yet you are here reaching out for help as to how to leave him.
There’s nothing to leave, is the truth. Tell him not to contact you any more. He’s not going to care. Well his massive ego won’t like it but because he doesn’t love you, and doesn’t even like you, he will forget all about you 5 minutes after you’ve left.
Block his number and block him on social media.
Ask your GP to recommend a counsellor who can help you to feel better about yourself in a healthy way because I have a lot of hope for you in that you at least recognise that you have a lot of problems.
My own brother has been married 35 years to this person and now his only child is about to do the same.
Just answer this one question. Would you like to be up at 4am with a sick baby and looking to this guy for support?

Idle Passerby · 25-07-2020 11:35AM

I think your putting too much emphasis on the amatuer psychology of your situation. You've obviously done a lot of reading and your pleased you've diagnosed him as a narcissist and yourself as an empath. Having made your diagnosis you seem to think you have no choice but to continue being typical of what you've decided you are. Are you perhaps enjoying the drama of being an "empath in the clutches of a narcissist"?

I agree that these dynamics are insidious and very difficult to leave but it's been a wet week OP. Your lives can't possibly be so entwined that you can't leave. You aren't a naive innocent, you know exactly what's going on so choosing to stay at this point is making the fully aware decision to continue being in a relationship that has got off to a bad start.

It doesn't make sense to come looking for advice when your basically saying : "I've just met a guy whose showing loads of red flags but I've decided I'm a nice person who doesn't dump arseholes. Please sympathise with my choice to stay with a loser I barely know."

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 25-07-2020 11:52AM

helpleaving wrote: »

But I feel stuck and there is a powerful dynamic at play here that, unless you have ever been in, is hard to explain. It's like being pulled into a spiders web. And again, not to sound self pitying, but I really feel at my lowest because of this man.

I plan to leave him but unfortunately it's not as easy as I thought it would be.

Imagine how much more difficult it will be in say 10 years time with a couple of kids and not a penny to your name. You'll be totally reliant on him.

You might not feel low about it then though because you'll have had years of manipulative behaviour and brainwashing so you will probably just think it's normal by then (so will your kids).

Believe me, you haven't even seen the spiders web yet. He seeing how far you're going to let this go, how much you'll accept. It's basically mental abuse at what should be the honeymoon stage of your relationship. Normally these guys aren't this obvious and it's only after years of subtle abuse that the penny drops.

Are things really that bad that you feel obliged remain in a dead end harmful relationship after just two months?

Where exactly do you see this going yourself?

Do yourself (and your family, friends and future kids) a favour and save yourself years of your life and cut this a**hole loose to go trouble someone else.

Big Bag of Chips · 25-07-2020 11:55AM

Idle Passerby wrote: »

You've obviously done a lot of reading....

In the first few weeks. You barely know him. You're only getting to know each other, and what you know you don't like. Yet are tying yourself in knots to come up with reasons why you can't do anything and just have to accept your lot.

What is he holding over your head? What has he got on you? Photos? Audio admission of you commiting an unsolved murder? Your fromt door key (change your locks?) Because after a few weeks it must be something big. Most people who get stuck in a relationship with a truly narcissistic person have been there for a very long time with it building up to where you are over years. You've gotten there in roughly 50 days?

Seriously, OP, this isn't as complicated as you are building it up to be. You know he's a dickhead. Other girls have walked away from him. What makes you different?

Big Bag of Chips · 25-07-2020 12:00PM

Your username is "helpleaving". Why?

You seem to believe that you can't leave and nobody understands so nobody can help you.

You've gotten advice from texting him, to ghosting him. Yet you say it's not possible. Why? Seriously, honestly think about why it's not possible. If you know you WILL leave him eventually, why not leave him now?

Unless there are very pertinent details that you have omitted in order to be deliberately vague and make the situation mysterious then there is no reason. If there is something then unless you give full details, people can't properly advise.

Deeper Blue · 25-07-2020 12:18PM

helpleaving wrote: »

OP here. I understand that some of you see my post as being self indulgent or dramatic, but that wasn't my intention. I was trying to explain things as best I could. I know people say I should just leave, but I do feel I'm in a difficult situation that's hard to explain.

I haven't just met a "dick" I've met a manipulative man who has caused me a lot of pain and I am angry with myself for not walking away. Yes, I have personal choice, yes, I have personal responsibility. But I feel stuck and there is a powerful dynamic at play here that, unless you have ever been in, is hard to explain. It's like being pulled into a spiders web. And again, not to sound self pitying, but I really feel at my lowest because of this man.

I plan to leave him but unfortunately it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Whilst I appreciate constructive feedback please remember you're talking to a human being here and being overly harsh when I already feel awful is not helpful to me.

Thank you for the kind comments I have received.

Based on the details you've given OP the bolded parts don't really make a lot of sense.

You're with this guy 2 months, what could have happened in that time that makes it so difficult to end it?

Is he connected to your group of friends? Or is he a family friend? I'm thinking it could be one of those two. Even if it is you need to end it and end it NOW.

splinter65 · 25-07-2020 12:47PM

El Sueño wrote: »

Based on the details you've given OP the bolded parts don't really make a lot of sense.

You're with this guy 2 months, what could have happened in that time that makes it so difficult to end it?

Is he connected to your group of friends? Or is he a family friend? I'm thinking it could be one of those two. Even if it is you need to end it and end it NOW.

My older brother walked into a similar “spiders web” 36 years ago and was instantly trapped forever. Within a week or so of meeting his now wife he was beyond reach, completely.
An introverted very socially awkward but very intelligent young chap with low self esteem he was ripe for the picking.
I wouldn’t even describe him as unhappy he just doesn’t have any life or mind or opinion or wants or needs of his own. He only really exists to serve his wife.

wiggle16 · 25-07-2020 12:57PM

helpleaving wrote: »

I plan to leave him but unfortunately it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Whilst I appreciate constructive feedback please remember you're talking to a human being here and being overly harsh when I already feel awful is not helpful to me.

Thank you for the kind comments I have received.

Mod:
OP, you need to remember that you are posting on an internet forum looking for advice from strangers who can be objective, and therefore you are going to get replies and opinions that might strike a nerve - and that's the point. This forum is supposed to make you think. And as long as advice is civil then no one is going to be discouraged from that.

It is not up to posters to sugar-coat their responses to you, it's up to you to have a thick skin when reading it. That's the only way it will be of use to you.

Gruffalux · 25-07-2020 01:07PM

Hmmm. All the talk of powerful impossible dynamics makes me think less of empaths or narcissists and more of masochism and sadism.
Some people do seem to need pain and drama. People cut themselves, starve themselves, stuff themselves, etc.
OP you are not trapped. You want this for some reason. It is not because you are an empath. Being an empath is a grandiose notion, like being an INFJ or an Indigo child or an old soul. It is grandiose pseudo religion. All malarkey.
Stop playing that game with yourself.
Or keep playing this game that has no truth, no beauty in it, but know that it is your game and your CHOICE and trying to get sympathy and have drama and pain in your life is part of your need.

leggo · 25-07-2020 01:32PM

OP I'd be someone who normally looks at threads like this where people are saying the same harsh advice and try see the other side, but I'll tell you here that everyone is giving you tough love that you probably need to hear even if it's not pleasant. You ARE making this into a drama that it doesn't need to be. There's NOTHING stopping you from sending one text ending it then blocking him on every medium. And what I think is bothering people is that you've used quite emotionally triggering language for many but you're also:

a) Not providing any further context as to why you can't just walk away and do what others are suggesting,
b) Not answering direct questions surrounding the situation that could help us help you and,
c) Giving the impression that you see this situation with you suffering as preferable to just being alone, a state many people are quite happy in. For example with me: I've been in several dating situations over the past couple of years that have been fine with perfectly nice people, but they're actually a bit of a hassle when I consider I'll have to spend time away from other stuff I enjoy doing more and money to do activities with a person I'm kinda nonplussed with. Being single can be great but you're not even considering it as an option.

So you're actually choosing to be in a situation while at the same time asking for help, which you plan on ignoring when your solution is quite simple. Imagine I was stuck in a hole I could quite easily climb out of and asked you for guidance, you gave me a ladder and I said "oh no I don't want to get out using ladders." I have all the tools I need to handle the request that *I* made of *you* to begin with and am now just choosing to be upset about this instead of helping myself.

It's your life OP. Nobody else here has to suffer through this and we can all forget about it by just clicking the back button. If it is help you want, you've everything you need to know already in this thread. If it's not, though, then an empath would be able to see our POV and why we're frustrated, and you should use that empathy to acknowledge that you actually want to be in this dramatic situation you could be rid of for the rest of your life within the next five minutes.

anewme · 25-07-2020 01:52PM

Gruffalox wrote: »

Hmmm. All the talk of powerful impossible dynamics makes me think less of empaths or narcissists and more of masochism and sadism.
Some people do seem to need pain and drama. People cut themselves, starve themselves, stuff themselves, etc.
OP you are not trapped. You want this for some reason. It is not because you are an empath. Being an empath is a grandiose notion, like being an INFJ or an Indigo child or an old soul. It is grandiose pseudo religion. All malarkey.
Stop playing that game with yourself.
Or keep playing this game that has no truth, no beauty in it, but know that it is your game and your CHOICE and trying to get sympathy and have drama and pain in your life is part of your need.

This is a very valid point to OP.

I made a point years ago to stop engaging with all this heavy type stuff and go back to basics. its not as if I'm not educated, I am, but this type of digging does you no good. Same as the conspiracy theories flying round, 5g etc. Even if they are true, they do you no good, and wont pay your mortgage or give you peace in your life. So wont engage.

It would be like saying because I'm a scorpio I must be narky. ( no comment)

Op, could you have got so caught up with categorising the situation and yourself, that you have trapped yourself in your own category and cant escape. Because you are an empath (or whatever it is) you cant tell him to f right off because thats not an empath trait.

Maybe a form of mindfulness, like if this moment I am feeling kind, or this moment I am feeling angry, will allow you to come out of the pigeon hole you are stuck in and stop reducing yourself to a caricature.

SusieBlue · 25-07-2020 02:55PM

OP after just two months I don’t see how your lives could be so intertwined that you cannot walk away.
You can’t have had kids in this time frame, but are you relying on him for something else? Money? Somewhere to live? What is he providing that makes it so hard to walk away?

A short text saying ‘This isn’t working for me any more, I don’t want to continue seeing you. Please do not contact me again’.
When you’re sure he’s read the message, block him on everything. You literally owe him absolutely nothing. You don’t have to give an explanation or discuss your feelings with him.
It’s so straightforward but you’re coming up with excuse after excuse not to do it.

rainbowtrout · 25-07-2020 10:49PM

Hmmmm... when people get involved with someone who is abusive and controlling typically that behaviour doesn't show through for the first few months when the person has invested in the relationship and become settled, yet after 8 weeks this seems to have gone from zero to narcissist, with a whole detailed analysis of the situation.

I've seen a lot of threads on here over the years and a common theme that appears is that a poster posts a problem that appears to be minor at first and then it transpires it was only the tip of the iceberg in a greater set of problems within the relationship. Many of those posters don't even know what they are in the middle of until they tease it out.

But the common ground of all of those problems is that the OP lacks awareness of the true extent of the problems.

The title of this thread is dramatic. "Empath fallen into the hands of a narcissist".

and the opening line "I feel I am an empath who has ended up with a narcissist". That reads like someone who has been in a relationship for 10 years and is coming to terms with their situation after therapy, not someone who has been dating a new person for two months.

Nobody psycho-analyses a new relationship and comes to such precise conclusions and then makes out that they can't leave it.

In the faint hope that this is a real situation, text him and tell him it's over and cut your losses, but personally I think it smells awfully like all the buzzwords from a reddit post and Rodney Bathgate called it correctly at the start of the thread.

Heres Johnny · 26-07-2020 12:41AM

I agree that the empath and narcissist should be replaced by slave and master and it sounds like the plot of 50 shades of grey... I know he's bad for me but I'm drawn in and can't leave (never saw it but that's what I think movie is about anyway)

So, without knowing why you can't leave people's advice has a finite use to you... Being drawn in is just something people need to have shaken out of them. You haven't convinced me or others here you actually want to leave.

Cant see it blossoming into a lovely relationship so why stay in it? Tough love required here for youb

spaceHopper · 28-07-2020 10:05PM

I don't see the problem here you are not tied to him. Tell him that at the start he treated you very well but lately he's been a bit cold and nasty a few times and you think it's better you stop seeing each other. Do it over lunch and have plans for a way out if he gets nasty. You are better than this and there is no future with him at least no a happy one. The sooner you do it the better you'll be so proud of yourself a d your friend will back you up.

Whitestripe · 29-07-2020 09:06PM

I can relate somewhat OP. I was also guilty of ignoring the red flags even though I could see them in some shape.
Talk to someone who is removed from the situation and listen to them - if they don't know you they have no interest in sabotaging you.
I'll hopefully never ever make the same mistake again - and that was trying to understand someone who was so completely contrary to myself that I could never grasp it.

I agree that you are not giving anyone a lot of detail, but I also appreciate that this is a scary moment when you might want to reveal as little as possible about yourself. Be safe and know to have a backup plan if you are seriously worried

Empath fallen into the hands of a narcissist

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