Do you talk to your cousins?

king_of_mayo · 17-07-2020 09:09AM #1

I don't really. I grew up away from them and then as you get older, you only see them at certain events. They're all still in contact with each other, live near-ish to each other. I think that's slightly unusual.

Probably be different for kids nowadays with the smaller families. I have 20+ cousins, doubt youngsters today will have half that.

nullzero · 17-07-2020 09:10AM

No, I only talk to my cousint's.

Tig98 · 17-07-2020 09:12AM

My cousins are all grand people, I just don't know them.

At weddings, christenings etc we all get on very well have the craic but outside of that there isn't enough mutual connections to keep a genuine friendship going

Signore Fancy Pants · 17-07-2020 09:17AM

Only after I ride 'em.

messrs · 17-07-2020 09:20AM

Also have 20+ cousins - would be 'friends' with them on FB , we would like and comment on each others posts ect - but only 1 of them I have a genuine close friendship with and would meet up with on a regular basis

biko · 17-07-2020 09:21AM

Yes, when we happen to see each other at family functions.
Growing up we were all really close.

Wildsurfer · 17-07-2020 09:28AM

Father had only 1 sister who had 3 kids so always kept in contact with them. Mother had 5 siblings all with 4+ kids so couldn't even name all them I'd say. Never thought much of it till I had my own children. You look at them together and think isn't it funny that their children probably wont even get to know each other that well

Kamu · 17-07-2020 09:47AM

I remember at 15 I was out with a group of friends at Merrion Square Park during the summer.

Knacker drinking and the like, when another aquatinted group comes over.

One of the lads there, was grand until a bit of drink and he was an ahole and what not. Granted he was 16 so concessions are to be made.

Saw him two or three times after that, and while he was fine, always walked away thinking, "sure, he is a bit of an ahole"

Role over to Christmas that year and I go to my grandmothers. Who happens to be there but your man who turns out is my 1st cousin.

I see some cousins every now and again, but in all honesty, have no interest in knowing them and can't name half of them.

Kamu · 17-07-2020 09:51AM

I remember at 15 I was out with a group of friends at Merrion Square Park during the summer.

Knacker drinking and the like, when another aquatinted group comes over.

One of the lads there, was grand until a bit of drink and he was an ahole and what not. Granted he was 16 so concessions are to be made.

Saw him two or three times after that, and while he was fine, always walked away thinking, "sure, he is a bit of an ahole"

Role over to Christmas that year and I go to my grandmothers. Who happens to be there but your man who turns out is my 1st cousin.

I see some cousins every now and again, but in all honesty, have no interest in knowing them and can't name half of them.

17-07-2020 10:00AM

The nice side of our family has no first-cousins at all, the other half is teeming with them. All boys, all bachelors, big feral beasts with dark hearts and terrible secrets. Very nice when you get to know them. One of them was delivered by a vet.

beggars_bush · 17-07-2020 10:01AM

40+ first cousins

Don't really keep in contact with them.
Randomly bump into them though

Gregor Samsa · 17-07-2020 10:01AM

My dad died during the middle of lockdown. Aside from my wife and kids; and my brother, only two other people could attend. One was a cousin, a year older than me that grew up two miles from us. I walked right past him, thought he was an undertaker.

I’ve over 20 cousins. I’ve phone numbers for 4 of them. There’s only 2 that I’d be in any kind of contact with, and that’s even just the odd text or call when something happens in the family. At weddings and funerals we all meet up and say we should stay in closer contact, but we never do. I’ve a family of 5 cousins that lived near me growing up that I can only remember the names of 3 of them now. I’d recognise 1 of them, and two others I’d recognise as cousins but would probably get the name wrong. I don’t know any of my cousin’s kids at all.

My wife’s family cousins are all very close. Meeting up all times of the year, big WhatsApp group, group Zoom call every Sunday. I couldn’t be dealing with that.

My own kids only have 6 cousins, all on my wife’s side. There’s a big age gap between 3 that are adults now, and 3 that are still in primary school like my kids. We’d see them all a fair bit, but I doubt they’ll be very close when they’re older.

CrankyHaus · 17-07-2020 10:02AM

Strictly sign-language and mime. If they try to speak to me I set them straight quick enough.

_Brian · 17-07-2020 10:29AM

Some of them.
But I don’t even talk to some of my sisters.

sullivlo · 17-07-2020 10:31AM

I only have 5 cousins.

One “full” cousin, two step-cousins (my uncle is their stepfather) and two adopted cousins (my aunt adopted her friends kids after she died).

I see my full cousin almost every day. He’s 16 and more like a little brother to me.

I don’t know when I last saw my step-cousins. Last November maybe?

I saw one of my adopted cousins in December and the other in February. They live in the UK but I chat to them a lot.

pwurple · 17-07-2020 10:41AM

Almost 200 first cousins. I don't even know half of them, let alone speak to them.

17-07-2020 10:52AM

pwurple wrote: »

Almost 200 first cousins. I don't even know half of them, let alone speak to them.

For arguments sake that's the equivalent of ten aunts, each having ten children... on both sides of the family
(10^2) x 2 = 200

Is that possible? I must be missing something

branie2 · 17-07-2020 11:16AM

Yes I do.

Church on Tuesday · 17-07-2020 02:01PM

Not really, keep in surface contact with one or two but that's it.

I have one cousin I basically refuse to talk to because he is an out and out prick.

freshpopcorn · 17-07-2020 02:08PM

They are all about ten years older than me or more so that connection wasn’t there when I was younger.
They are all fine tough.

I was in a club with a friend before and he came very close to going off with his cousin.

Bobblehats · 17-07-2020 02:30PM

Signore Fancy Pants wrote: »

Only after I ride 'em.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYc3BBWoGVU

Pauliedragon · 17-07-2020 02:38PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

They are all about ten years older than me or more so that connection wasn’t there when I was younger.
They are all fine tough.

I was in a club with a friend before and he came very close to going off with his cousin.

I often wondered if things like this happen regularly. I have about 40 cousins and outside of 3 who grew up as neighbours I wouldn't recognise one of them. Surely it must happen with drunken one night stand that people don't realise that they actually are related. What happens if a pregnancy ends up being the result?

screamer · 17-07-2020 02:38PM

Was as close to my cousins as brothers and sisters growing up, but now, see each other at the rare family events we are actually worthy to attend, send a Christmas card and that’s about it. Like old work colleagues, when you’ve no longer anything in common you drift apart.

cml387 · 17-07-2020 02:39PM

Cousins are sometimes keeper of the family secret.

Back in the past there might have been a scandal. Some parents might have been a bit more upfront than their siblings in passing on the gory details to their children.

Years later at family gatherings, one cousin will say "Of course you knew that Uncle Dessie was as gay as lark...." Wide eyed astonishment in cousin-not-in-the know.

Probably less likely nowadays.

RandomViewer · 17-07-2020 02:45PM

My dad had 17 siblings, he was the youngest, they all had families, I've cousins I've never met

17-07-2020 02:47PM

Signore Fancy Pants wrote: »

Only after I ride 'em.

Good to see somebody upholding tradition.

r93kaey5p2izun · 17-07-2020 02:52PM

Not really. I have 20+. They range from 15 years younger to 25 years older, mostly way older. I know them all, but only in contact with the youngest one and I feel more like his aunt. I had regular contact with four who were around my age growing up, and one who was a lot older and was like an aunt to me. But not in contact any more. The older ones are in contact with each other though and it seems they spent every day nearly together as children.

My mother has over 100 first cousins. We have been neighbours to several of them over the years and I didn't even know they were related.

Dr Turk Turkelton · 17-07-2020 02:58PM

Pauliedragon wrote: »

I often wondered if things like this happen regularly. I have about 40 cousins and outside of 3 who grew up as neighbours I wouldn't recognise one of them. Surely it must happen with drunken one night stand that people don't realise that they actually are related. What happens if a pregnancy ends up being the result?

They become a family unit and move to Carlow with all the other families who have a kid with an ear on top of their head and a tail instead of an @rse and nobody notices anything strange about them.

Gregor Samsa · 17-07-2020 03:02PM

Pauliedragon wrote: »

What happens if a pregnancy ends up being the result?

Increased general risk of some genetic disorders due to the higher chance of both parents carrying the same recessive gene that causes a particular disorder.

However, first cousins can legally marry in Ireland and nearly every European country. Albert Einstein‘s second wife Elsa was both his first cousin (on his mother’s side) AND his second cousin (on his father’s side). They had no children.

There was a time in human history where marriages between first or second cousins accounted for about 70% of all unions. Today, it’s estimated to be about 10% globally, but concentrated mainly in certain regions.

Strumms · 17-07-2020 04:16PM

I’m close and on very good terms with all those on my mother’s side. My Dads lot have always been out for themselves, with the exception of some in one family... who are decent enough.

The rest of them would be on the phone to my Dad in a heartbeat for a dig out in a crisis...be it advice, a lift somewhere, a lend of tools, a lend of some dosh as has all happened but as we experienced recently would be the fücking last lot to lift a phone and offer to lend a hand when my Dad or any of us needed anything....

Lesson was learned, I think even he is coming to the sad realization that the more you do, the more good you are and kind to people the more they expect from you.

SusieBlue · 17-07-2020 04:24PM

I have 23 first cousins on my mams side, and we would have been very close when we were younger because we all went to the same primary and secondary school and we used to go on holidays together too.
We used to play, fight and argue the way siblings would :pac: We all had at least one cousin in our class at school and birthday parties were for family only, because there were so many of us.
We aren’t as close since we’ve grown up but I’d still meet up with the ones close in age to me a few times a month and we have a group chat etc. We all still live locally to each other.
I do think that kind of upbringing is the exception rather than the norm though, all my cousins on the other side of the family live abroad so I’d rarely see them.

Do you talk to your cousins?

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