Do you consider yourself attractive?

Potential-Monke · 22-06-2020 10:57PM

Nah. I've accepted the fact that I'm not the typical good looking guy, let alone the hunk. As a child/teen I was cursed with red hair and a small stature. The best compliment I could get was that I was cute. Yay... Anyway, it got me down a lot as a kid/teen/20's. I was the first in my First Year class to get a girlfriend but still the last to get a kiss (9 months with a polish girl, and all we ever did was cuddle... cute). I wasn't in with the popular kids because I was small, ginger and into gaming instead of sport, so an "obvious" target for bullies, of which I had my fair share of. It's not nice to live a life constantly getting picked on or bullied because of a feature you can't change.

Into my teens I didn't really get that much taller, i'm only 5'6.825" :pac: now at 37, so I was around the 5'5" mark for most of my teens/20s. Had the round head too, and I used to think I was overweight but looking at pictures I wasn't really. Managed to get a girlfriend when I was 15, and it was a girl I had known since I was 8 or 9. Had a relationship of 7 years there, during which time I received 2 other propositions (both declined). Went from that into a 9 month relationship with a Private while I was a Corporal at FCA. Went from that into another 7 year relationship with someone I worked beside for 2 years. Since then, nada.

So for a relationship, I seem to need to already have to have had one in some form before I'll get a look in. First gf above, went out with me because she knew what I was like, rather than what I looked like. Second one came from a position of power. Third from again a pre-established relationship (and who told me 3 or 4 years into the relationship that she didn't actually fancy me at all, I just shocked her with the first kiss and she was subsequently horny so kept up meeting). I reckon I have (had?) a great personality. What I seemed to lack was the bad boy side, the treat 'em mean type which women seem to want for some reason. In the 7 year relationships, I've had 3 "fights" in total, because a disagreement shouldn't go to a fight and I'm able to use words. I had genuine love and never considered cheating (turned down a 4-some with 3 girls one night - also came from a place of power). I dunno, women are hard.

TL;DR: On paper, my personality is what women appeared to want, but the physical appearance doesn't match. Now I don't care and am happily single.

23-06-2020 09:45AM

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Nah. I've accepted the fact that I'm not the typical good looking guy, let alone the hunk.

Me too - but rather than be down about that or just learn to accept it - the decision I made was "I have this body so let's see what it can get it to do".

Ever since I have pushed the body I am stuck with to the extremes of speed and strength and balance and movement it is capable of - and pushed those limits. Through dance - martial arts - running - and more.

Not that those limits are amazing with the hand I have been dealt. Pretty mediocre over all in many ways.

But it is good for my well being and sense of self and achievement to constantly see small improvements and to reach new levels and to be able to do things that people who were dealt much better sets of DNA than I can not do because they never tried. A lot of people never find out what their body is capable of or how good it can be made look and feel.

is_that_so · 23-06-2020 09:47AM

Great face for radio!

Church on Tuesday · 23-06-2020 11:24AM

It's a lot more than looks that makes someone attractive.

bitofabind · 23-06-2020 11:36AM

I think most people can be reasonably attractive if they look after themselves, healthy diet, vigorous daily exercise, limited alcohol, stay on top of the grooming etc. Some people win the genetic lottery and get ahead of the rest of us, but looks don't last forever either. I don't think it's healthy to either consider yourself a complete ride or an absolute gremlin, sourcing your self-worth from your appearance one way or another is just setting you up for a fall.

Hoop66 · 23-06-2020 11:39AM

Christ no, I look like an abandoned shit farm. And lockdown hasn't improved things.

I suppose with the beard you can see less of my face.

Hammer89 · 23-06-2020 11:44AM

I felt pretty much unrideable in my late teenage years. Every Sunday morning, after being in a nightclub, I'd feel this wave of sadness kind of wash over me because I'd see my friends pursue and subsequently 'score' girls. I couldn't because, in short, I was a fat ugly bastard. I'd only kissed like one girl by the time I was 20, and she, like me, was a fat bastard, so we were mutually f*cked in terms of status.

This one time, I had to literally walk back to Howth from town because the two boys went off in a taxi with these two girls, and I'd no money. I wouldn't say I wanted to kill myself or anything but that was a pretty dark night. I remember thinking I was funny and consoling myself with the idea that long term, maybe if I can make a girl laugh she'd overlook the fact I was a bit on the rotund side. By the same token, my confidence was so shot to pieces that I didn't want to test that theory, because if it was false then I'd be left with nothing, no straws left to clutch. That notion was all I had in terms of hope and I coddled it.

Most of my close friends were in relationships eventually, so we virtually never went to nightclubs together anymore, which suited me down to the ground because, as I said, I'd no reason for being there. This went on for years, but I got dragged to a club after our Christmas party one year.

Anyway, we're on the dancefloor. Some girl bumps into me while dancing, I smile and apologise. Then another girl. And another one. And another one. This genuinely keeps happening - sometimes it's the same girl - and I'm thinking, 'Alright what's happening here you drunk, clumsy bitches? You's are clearly backing into me on purpose like. Do it again and I'm calling the bouncers'.

Eventually the penny dropped and I realised what most lads realise when they're 15 or 16, that girls will intentionally bump into you on the dancefloor to get you to notice them. I neglected to mention that I'd lost a good bit of weight between my last nightclub visit and this particular night. Without realising it, I'd become attractive and my confidence just spiked out of nowhere. It was a real 'HO-LEE F*CK' moment, the type Marie Claire had when she discovered plutonium I imagine. I kissed two other girls that night and as strange - or sad - as it might sound, it was one of the best nights of my life. It was a real awakening and I haven't felt unrideable since.

Rothko · 23-06-2020 02:02PM

I'm in or around 1/10

Trigger Happy · 23-06-2020 02:11PM

My looks are appreciated only by the more refined viewers.

talla10 · 23-06-2020 04:56PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

Eventually the penny dropped and I realised what most lads realise when they're 15 or 16, that girls will intentionally bump into you on the dancefloor to get you to notice them. I neglected to mention that I'd lost a good bit of weight between my last nightclub visit and this particular night. Without realising it, I'd become attractive and my confidence just spiked out of nowhere. It was a real 'HO-LEE F*CK' moment, the type Marie Claire had when she discovered plutonium I imagine. I kissed two other girls that night and as strange - or sad - as it might sound, it was one of the best nights of my life. It was a real awakening and I haven't felt unrideable since.

This can't be true... I always put it down to drunk girls and small dancefloors....right?

Phoenix32 · 23-06-2020 05:27PM

I have never in my life purposely bumped into someone to get their attention.

Thespoofer · 23-06-2020 05:29PM

Rothko wrote: »

I'm in or around 1/10

ðŸ˜‚

Risingshadoo · 23-06-2020 05:37PM

I would say out of 10, about 6. Wouldn't draw the looks of girls at all. But I do get some attention from foreign girls now and again, which is nice. Or maybe i have got a strange looking head or something hahahaha

JupiterKid · 23-06-2020 05:39PM

I would say I’m maybe a 6.5 or in my best photos maybe 7 out of 10. No adonis or silver fox middle aged male model by any means, but a little better than the average.

I’ve been told I look good for my years (45 last March) and I am rocking the salt and pepper colouring in my hair. Sometimes I’m clean shaven, other times a bit of scruff/stubble, and every couple of years I will grow a full or goatee beard. No plans whatsoever to dye my hair. 6’1” in height (185 cm) relatively slim, lean physique. Bit of a belly as most guys my age seem to have but regular swimming, cycling, walking and cardio in my gym (before lockdown) keeps me pretty much in half-decent shape.
I have a cleft chin which is supposed to be a good feature in a man. Average sized straight nose. Bags under my eyes are a bit of an issue the past few years! I’m told I look much better without my glasses on. When I’m not smiling, I have a rather ”serious” look to my face - that aspect I take very much from my father.

Never really had a problem pulling other guys and before I came out as gay at the age of 21/22 I had two serious girlfriends from the age of 17. I was then in a few long-term relationships with other men, including one relatively well-known guy and currently with my partner for the past three years. Had a lot of fun - as in casual sex - with other guys in between the serious relationships.

We have an open relationship with agreed and clear boundaries - quite common in gay male relationships.
It works well for us and we plan to get married in the next couple of years.

When my I was at my very rock bottom with my drinking in 2014/15, I looked dreadful. Puffy face, bordering on jaundice, greasy skin, red nose, and although I was eating very little the combination of booze and meds made me quite overweight. I have a couple of photos of myself from back then and I keep them just to remind me how bad a stage I was in.

Looks are based on a mix of the lottery of your genes and looking after yourself. Irish men have come a long way in the past 25 years or so - so many young lads in their 20s and 30s are in very good shape these days , but there’s also a huge cohort of guys who don’t give a toss and it really shows. They say when you get into a long term relationship and then settle down, maintaining one’s looks matter much less. I think there’s a lot of truth in that statement.

Self-confidence is also a major part in being attractive to others. Although I am a very outgoing and largely positive person, self-confidence and self-esteem was something I really lacked in my younger years.

GoatBoy74 · 23-06-2020 05:39PM

I’m so ugly my mother got morning sickness after I was born!

I don’t get no respect.

23-06-2020 05:47PM

Wouldn't consider myself particularly attractive but I don't think I'm unattractive either, at least not anymore. I used to think I was ugly, especially as a teenager, but I think I'm improving with age (I'm sure that trend will start reversing again within a few years!)

I've always been on the chubby side so have never had a good figure. I've lost 2 kilos so far this month though, so I might finally be turning the tide on that after several false starts.

Purple Mountain · 23-06-2020 07:36PM

I'm sexy and I know it.

Blondini · 23-06-2020 07:44PM

In a certain light, I look as good as Peter Beardsley's elbow.

cannotlogin · 23-06-2020 07:48PM

I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I'm not hideous either. I'm grand really. I don't think there's much point obsessing over looks really as you can't change them but can only deal with what you have. Draw attention to the best features, detract from the worst parts.

I've often hear people describe themselves as good looking, men especially and have wondered in amusement as to how this average guy thinks he's gorgeous. It doesn't matter as it's subjective anyway.

A good smile, cracking sense of humour and a someone who is confident in themselves, is what makes most people attractive imo. Good looking and attractive are two very different things.

Hammer89 · 23-06-2020 08:40PM

talla10 wrote: »

This can't be true... I always put it down to drunk girls and small dancefloors....right?

I think it's true anyway. This will sound very douchey but traditionally I think the onus is generally on the lad to do the chasing, and the bumping/backing into you is a way for them to say, 'Hey, I'm here and interested, just incase you haven't seen me'. I don't want to sound like the pick-up artist who frequents After Hours but I do think that's the dynamic. Maybe it's not. It definitely happens though, the bumping/backing into you, and it's not accidental or because there's minimal room.

23-06-2020 08:54PM

Phoenix32 wrote: »

Jesus christ. Don't you ever meet a woman who just says ''hey, I think you're a ride''. Sounds like a lot of hassle.

I did before, close enough to this before......still managed make a balls of it

JupiterKid · 23-06-2020 09:22PM

In my college years, a good friend had a lot of confidence and used the direct approach with the ladies in bars and night clubs. Worked most of the time (this was the mid 1990s). Hell, he’d even have the balls to go right up to women completely sober in the daytime and ask them out. He was no stunner - average in looks - but his self-confidence and swagger made him very attractive to the ladies.

I have another friend who was very shy and introverted who was (and still is) a rather good looking chap. He had zero confidence on a night out in terms of approaching women and usually had to have a feed of pints beforehand, but then would be half-cut when he made the move and would be turned down. He only had two long-term relationships - one where I introduced him to a friend of a friend and the second he is married to with two kids.

My cousin who lived over here in Dublin (she was from Australia) in the 90s was a real looker who modeled part-time when she was in college in Sydney. She was an arty type who was keen to have a career in writing and drama production, which eventually did come together for her when she moved back to Oz. She would give out that men she would be meeting with in the hope of working with professionally wouldn’t take her seriously on account of her looks, and that good looks can work against a woman in that regard.

Myself and my sisters would tell her sarcastically what a dreadful burden she was saddled with!

py2006 · 23-06-2020 09:27PM

I am always wary of anybody who openly declares themselves to be beautiful/handsome etc.

Schwiiing · 23-06-2020 09:37PM

I'm an overweight autist with psoriasis. If men were corn flakes I'd be that dusty **** at the bottom of the bag that gets thrown in the bin.

py2006 · 23-06-2020 09:41PM

Market Factor50 wrote: »

In what way, if you were handsome would you pretend you didn't think so if asked?

Who asks a person if they are handsome? haha

Its down to other people if they find you attractive or not. Even if you think you are, saying it out loud in conversation to people speaks volumes about your personality. (to me anyway)

thesultan · 23-06-2020 09:53PM

Decent body.
Average penis size.
OK face.
Brutal man for pictures. Look bad in at least half.
Hair is receding. Not too bad but it is.
Missing teeth at the back of my mouth.
Say I'm a six.
My accent is bad..
I used to blush real bad and it was a nightmare when trying to get women.

r93kaey5p2izun · 23-06-2020 10:08PM

No. Maybe a 3 if a number had to be put on it. Below average, completely plain, but not so bad as to draw stares - though a couple of random men have chosen to comment on my unattractive looks out of the blue. If I'm honest it's something I feel a small bit sad about in terms of lost opportunity, but really it's just not something I think about very often. I would like to have experienced the well documented benefits in terms of career though.

23-06-2020 10:10PM

Schwiiing wrote: »

I'm an overweight autist with psoriasis. If men were corn flakes I'd be that dusty **** at the bottom of the bag that gets thrown in the bin.

The dusty part of corn flakes is literally the nicest part

I crush up stuff,if bag nearly empthy to make it into dust

thesultan · 23-06-2020 10:11PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I felt pretty much unrideable in my late teenage years. Every Sunday morning, after being in a nightclub, I'd feel this wave of sadness kind of wash over me because I'd see my friends pursue and subsequently 'score' girls. I couldn't because, in short, I was a fat ugly bastard. I'd only kissed like one girl by the time I was 20, and she, like me, was a fat bastard, so we were mutually f*cked in terms of status.

This one time, I had to literally walk back to Howth from town because the two boys went off in a taxi with these two girls, and I'd no money. I wouldn't say I wanted to kill myself or anything but that was a pretty dark night. I remember thinking I was funny and consoling myself with the idea that long term, maybe if I can make a girl laugh she'd overlook the fact I was a bit on the rotund side. By the same token, my confidence was so shot to pieces that I didn't want to test that theory, because if it was false then I'd be left with nothing, no straws left to clutch. That notion was all I had in terms of hope and I coddled it.

Most of my close friends were in relationships eventually, so we virtually never went to nightclubs together anymore, which suited me down to the ground because, as I said, I'd no reason for being there. This went on for years, but I got dragged to a club after our Christmas party one year.

Anyway, we're on the dancefloor. Some girl bumps into me while dancing, I smile and apologise. Then another girl. And another one. And another one. This genuinely keeps happening - sometimes it's the same girl - and I'm thinking, 'Alright what's happening here you drunk, clumsy bitches? You's are clearly backing into me on purpose like. Do it again and I'm calling the bouncers'.

Eventually the penny dropped and I realised what most lads realise when they're 15 or 16, that girls will intentionally bump into you on the dancefloor to get you to notice them. I neglected to mention that I'd lost a good bit of weight between my last nightclub visit and this particular night. Without realising it, I'd become attractive and my confidence just spiked out of nowhere. It was a real 'HO-LEE F*CK' moment, the type Marie Claire had when she discovered plutonium I imagine. I kissed two other girls that night and as strange - or sad - as it might sound, it was one of the best nights of my life. It was a real awakening and I haven't felt unrideable since.

How you since..

thesultan · 23-06-2020 10:11PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I felt pretty much unrideable in my late teenage years. Every Sunday morning, after being in a nightclub, I'd feel this wave of sadness kind of wash over me because I'd see my friends pursue and subsequently 'score' girls. I couldn't because, in short, I was a fat ugly bastard. I'd only kissed like one girl by the time I was 20, and she, like me, was a fat bastard, so we were mutually f*cked in terms of status.

This one time, I had to literally walk back to Howth from town because the two boys went off in a taxi with these two girls, and I'd no money. I wouldn't say I wanted to kill myself or anything but that was a pretty dark night. I remember thinking I was funny and consoling myself with the idea that long term, maybe if I can make a girl laugh she'd overlook the fact I was a bit on the rotund side. By the same token, my confidence was so shot to pieces that I didn't want to test that theory, because if it was false then I'd be left with nothing, no straws left to clutch. That notion was all I had in terms of hope and I coddled it.

Most of my close friends were in relationships eventually, so we virtually never went to nightclubs together anymore, which suited me down to the ground because, as I said, I'd no reason for being there. This went on for years, but I got dragged to a club after our Christmas party one year.

Anyway, we're on the dancefloor. Some girl bumps into me while dancing, I smile and apologise. Then another girl. And another one. And another one. This genuinely keeps happening - sometimes it's the same girl - and I'm thinking, 'Alright what's happening here you drunk, clumsy bitches? You's are clearly backing into me on purpose like. Do it again and I'm calling the bouncers'.

Eventually the penny dropped and I realised what most lads realise when they're 15 or 16, that girls will intentionally bump into you on the dancefloor to get you to notice them. I neglected to mention that I'd lost a good bit of weight between my last nightclub visit and this particular night. Without realising it, I'd become attractive and my confidence just spiked out of nowhere. It was a real 'HO-LEE F*CK' moment, the type Marie Claire had when she discovered plutonium I imagine. I kissed two other girls that night and as strange - or sad - as it might sound, it was one of the best nights of my life. It was a real awakening and I haven't felt unrideable since.

How you since...?

Do you consider yourself attractive?

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