How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

ILoveYourVibes · 06-06-2020 07:58PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

The strange thing is the worse bullying I experienced was when I went to college.

Wow that is unusual. I am sorry.

road_high · 06-06-2020 08:06PM

Easier said than done but no point wasting headspace or emotional strength on these people. It natural to feel resentful and want to revel in their failures years later but these are still toxic emotions in themselves that can consume you too if unchecked.It’s cliched I know but focus on yourself and improving you- best revenge possible

andekwarhola · 06-06-2020 08:06PM

Never been systemically bullied by a single person but I'd like to think I'd just get on with it and not dwell on it later but who am I to say.

freshpopcorn · 06-06-2020 08:09PM

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Wow that is unusual. I am sorry.

I went to an all guys school and it was relaxed enough there was the odd bit off bullying but nothing major. We did mix with the convent at lunch time and during certain classes but I think people were fairly accepting.

At college tough there was a lot of bullying from the women towards other women and the guys as well. A good few people were just made feel like misfits and odd balls by people certain members of the class. It was mainly women who were doing the bullying. It was experienced by a good few members of the class.
Some wee bullied by people and there flat mates had there bullies over a lot.

road_high · 06-06-2020 08:14PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I went to an all guys school and it was relaxed enough there was the odd bit off bullying but nothing major. We did mix with the convent at lunch time and during certain classes but I think people were fairly accepting.

At college tough there was a lot of bullying from the women towards other women and the guys as well. A good few people were just made feel like misfits and odd balls by people certain members of the class. It was mainly women who were doing the bullying. It was experienced by a good few members of the class.
Some wee bullied by people and there flat mates had there bullies over a lot.

Yea was a bit of bullying in university but it never really takes hold like in school. The time and proximity aren’t as intense I suppose and most people tend to care less by that stage. Never went much beyond hostile bitchiness really

freshpopcorn · 06-06-2020 08:16PM

road_high wrote: »

Yea was a bit of bullying in university but it never really takes hold like in school. The time and proximity aren’t as intense I suppose and most people tend to care less by that stage. Never went much beyond hostile bitchiness really

I think part of the problem was some of us were expecting college to have much bullying on it at all.

06-06-2020 08:18PM

My bullies got good leaving certs and having no need to repeat, went to places like Trinity, UCD. They have had some great past pupil reunions. they are in a thriving past pupils union which is online as well.

I am not in this past pupils union.

road_high · 06-06-2020 08:21PM

Deleted User wrote: »

My bullies got good leaving certs and having no need to repeat, went to places like Trinity, UCD. They have had some great past pupil reunions. they are in a thriving past pupils union which is online as well.

I am not in this past pupils union.

Why even care? Arseholes attract arseholes! No reason why you can’t match or surpass them academically and career wise.

andekwarhola · 06-06-2020 08:24PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I am not in this past pupils union.

Sounds like a win

s7ryf3925pivug · 06-06-2020 08:24PM

Don't know. Don't care.
I think that's the best result.

Generally better not to think of people as being better or worse than each other anyway.

I mean if you know people you can find that they're pricks or really decent people. But I wouldn't judge personal worth based on a career or Facebook pics.

mojesius · 06-06-2020 08:26PM

Saw one at a school reunion, she's still an absolute bitch. Still hangs around with the same crowd from school. Most of her friends are really nice people and I could never fathom why they're friends with her. Maybe she was just horrible to me.

The other one is fat and lives in America.

The other one I bump into now and again. Married with kids. Dunno much else about her.

PCeeeee · 06-06-2020 08:29PM

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

I've told my young lad since the day he was old enough for it to be relevant to never hit anyone first or hit anyone without being provoked but If someone hits him the first thing he's to do is hit them back.

I understand teachers saying to not react and just tell a teacher if something happens and in an ideal world that would be great but this is the real world and that stuff doesn't work. You have to look out for yourself and stand up for yourself.

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

olestoepoke · 06-06-2020 08:30PM

Mad_maxx wrote: »

will tell my son to never hit first but if hit , to hit back twice as hard , if the teachers attempt to throw the book at him , il support him even it means changing schools

I tell my boys the very same thing. If they hit first they are the bully and it will not end well for them but if they hit in self defence then I'm 100% behind them.

markfinn · 06-06-2020 08:34PM

The worst of them is currently in government.

olestoepoke · 06-06-2020 08:34PM

PCeeeee wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

Sorry but you're way off here. If you get hit first you most certainly are not going to lose the fight. I find that getting kids into sports works well. There's always a bit of agro on a soccer pitch etc and they learn quick to stand up for themselves. My kids are 9 and 11 and both do Jui jitsu 3 evenings a week for the last 2 years. This is a great sport for both boys and girls and if they can stick it out it bully proofs them.

andekwarhola · 06-06-2020 08:38PM

PCeeeee wrote: »

I agree with the sentiment but usually if you get the first wallop then you're probably going to lose that fight. Especially if the other fella is used to fighting.

I have no idea what to tell a young fella but the old story about bullies being cowards who'll crumble at resistance isn't true in the way you see on telly. It's not that simple.

I agree. Telling kids that hitting a bully once off is going to stop it often won't end well at all. If you're going to tell your kids that, you should say just keep fighting back as long and often as you possibly can which will probably do far more to deter school bullies long term but to be fair, most kids perfectly understandably won't or can't do that.

PCeeeee · 06-06-2020 08:40PM

olestoepoke wrote: »

Sorry but you're way off here. If you get hit first you most certainly are not going to lose the fight. I find that getting kids into sports works well. There's always a bit of agro on a soccer pitch etc and they learn quick to stand up for themselves. My kids are 9 and 11 and both do Jui jitsu 3 evenings a week for the last 2 years. This is a great sport for both boys and girls and if they can stick it out it bully proofs them.

If they're trained indeed I'm way off. If they're not then it's very different.

Or at least that has been my own experience. If yours has been otherwise then I happily accept that. And honestly that would be much better.

06-06-2020 08:41PM

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

Mod Snip

No way he was a bully, can barely talk but an OK lad.

Mod Snip That'd be going back a bit

Airyfairy12 · 06-06-2020 08:41PM

The odd time I cross her on the street I turn my head the other way, I cant stand her. I know she is an adult now and probably regrets her behaviour but she left me with life long social anxiety that I will never completely get over. She took years of my childhood, when I should have been happy and carefree I was thinking up ways to commit suicide. This went on from 2nd class in primary to 5th year in secondary, I dont know why we kept being put in the same classes together, she made school a nightmare, it resulted in me dropping out.
As far as I know she's a lunchlady in the local hospital. A friend of a friend knows her brother and often calls to the house, without knowing my connection to her he brought her up saying how she gives him the creeps, said she makes sexual remarks to him, tells him he's looking well and is very forward even though he has no attraction to her and has shown no interest.
Who knows were either of us will be in 5 or 10 years, circumstances change constantly so whats the point in comparing lives to eachothers?

Airyfairy12 · 06-06-2020 08:42PM

markfinn wrote: »

The worst of them is currently in government.

Who?

batman1 · 06-06-2020 08:42PM

My nephew was bullied to the brink of taking his own life by one complete ahole at school. Tortured him in and out of school. Small town Ireland.
Luckily he got through it at 18 and began socialising, joining clubs etc, moved on and now has a great job, wife and young family.
The bully moved to the States with his parents shortly after school.
Fast forward 16 or so years and the bully moved home. My brother was putting his baby into the car seat one day on the street and the bully spotted him and unbelievably started on him again, trying to start a fight, half full of drink/drugs.
My brother diffused the situation and drove away.
Later that week he was out running and met the bully again. He knocked 6 shades of ****e out of him at the side of the road.
You see, one of the club's he joined after his illness was Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Trains religiously.

I was absolutely delighted when he told me.

Sometimes, no matter how long, it's good to get some feeling of vengeance.

Ted_YNWA · 06-06-2020 08:46PM

Guy, no mentioning of individual names or identifiable content. Some posts have been removed mentioning a certain person

J. Marston · 06-06-2020 08:51PM

Not secondary but my primary school bully recently got put away for drug offences. Laughed when I heard it.

jackboy · 06-06-2020 08:54PM

mojesius wrote: »

The other one is fat and lives in America.

😂

cj maxx · 06-06-2020 09:01PM

I was a (and still am

) a skinny 'weakling'. Though I was a defiant prick. The 1st fella who tried to bully me I beat around the classroom till he ran away. That set a precedent that I wasn't a walkover. No one bothered me really in 1st year. 2nd lad, well , though he would have beat me to a pulp , he was too wary to fight me and by this time I had matured enough that fighting in the alleys didn't appeal to. Think the lad went to London as a brickie. Haven't heard of him in years

EmmetSpiceland · 06-06-2020 09:20PM

andekwarhola wrote: »

Sounds like a win

Not in the slightest, A. I’d be an “active” member of the PPU. It’s great.

Always looking forward to the annual dinner, heading back to the “alma mater” for a night of food, drink and catching up with old school chums.

Throughout the year we have other “events” too. Such as golfing, table quizzes and a variety of “business” lunches. Not to mention the sporting, particularly rugby, events.

I’d honestly say any past pupils who aren’t “members” are really missing out. Big time.

RandomViewer · 06-06-2020 09:28PM

I was always a bit erratic wouldnt know when to lie down, can be very insulting, wouldnt be correct , nothing would out of line,bullying me would be more bother than it was worth , was shyte at fighting but the first headbutt usually eased the need to find out, had and still have habit of throwing things which works as a deterrent

Danzy · 06-06-2020 09:35PM

He became a mod on boards.ie

olestoepoke · 06-06-2020 09:53PM

batman1 wrote: »

My nephew was bullied to the brink of taking his own life by one complete ahole at school. Tortured him in and out of school. Small town Ireland.
Luckily he got through it at 18 and began socialising, joining clubs etc, moved on and now has a great job, wife and young family.
The bully moved to the States with his parents shortly after school.
Fast forward 16 or so years and the bully moved home. My brother was putting his baby into the car seat one day on the street and the bully spotted him and unbelievably started on him again, trying to start a fight, half full of drink/drugs.
My brother diffused the situation and drove away.
Later that week he was out running and met the bully again. He knocked 6 shades of ****e out of him at the side of the road.
You see, one of the club's he joined after his illness was Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Trains religiously.

I was absolutely delighted when he told me.

Sometimes, no matter how long, it's good to get some feeling of vengeance.

This is great

freshpopcorn · 06-06-2020 09:59PM

I did have a little issue with a guy in secondary school and I did hit him. I was small and it was seen as a bit of joke.
However if my bullies were girls I don’t think a fella hitting one of them would go down well.

How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

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