Pressure to visit family during lockdown

Caranica · 24-05-2020 09:08PM

It's not an essential trip and it's further than 5km. On 08 June the distance you can travel to meet people is 20km but still nowhere near 70 miles.

We have facetime, skype etc, plenty of ways to check in without risking your health OP. Just because your brother is making unneccesary journeys doesn't mean you should.

lozenges · 24-05-2020 09:13PM

pinkyeye wrote: »

It is EXTREMELY low risk at the moment and there is no denying that.

Please point to your stats that state it's high risk?

I don't have access to stats that it's high risk. Neither do you have access to stats that prove it's low risk.

You know who does have access to that data? The epidemiologists and public health team. I'm not arrogant enough to presume that I know better than the people that do this for a living. Long before anyone had ever heard of coronavirus.

I'm satisfied that the government and NPHET don't have an agenda to make older people miserable and lonely just for the craic. I'm happy that they have access to the most up to date information as anyone and relevant modeling projections. So if they give advice, that's what I'll follow.

Of course some people always think they know better.

ztoical · 25-05-2020 12:42PM

It's doesn't matter if its low or high risk or anything in between. It should be the OPs choice to judge the risk for them and make that choice. The issue is the brother putting pressure on her and saying what we don't know to the parents as to why the OP hasn't visited. Talk to your parents and your brother OP, tell them what you are and aren't comfortable doing.

If you do go for a visit OP I wouldn't just drive down and surprise them, I would prep them for how the visit would go. If your brother hasn't been following social distancing they may be hurt if your refuse to come in the house or come close to them

facehugger99 · 25-05-2020 04:17PM

There's more chance of dying in a car crash on the way down to them than any of you have of dying of Corona.

Just take some sensible precautions and head down to them.

Ignore the fear-mongering.

ShaShaBear · 25-05-2020 09:17PM

facehugger99 wrote: »

There's more chance of dying in a car crash on the way down to them than any of you have of dying of Corona.

Just take some sensible precautions and head down to them.

Ignore the fear-mongering.

So what you're saying is, if one does not want to die, there's two perfectly good reasons to stay at home?

Caranica · 25-05-2020 09:20PM

facehugger99 wrote: »

There's more chance of dying in a car crash on the way down to them than any of you have of dying of Corona.

Just take some sensible precautions and head down to them.

Ignore the fear-mongering.

It's not fear mongering, it's the law! 70 miles isn't legal until 20 July.

Dial Hard · 25-05-2020 09:40PM

Caranica wrote: »

It's not fear mongering, it's the law! 70 miles isn't legal until 20 July.

The distance restrictions only apply to exercise.

If the OP wants to shop for or check on her parents, she'd be perfectly within the letter of the law in doing so.

Whether it's within the spirit of the law is an entirely different question and one I'd say individuals need to answer for themselves.

Tork · 25-05-2020 11:03PM

Some people have read the laws in very odd ways. I've seen people more than once claim that you can go around to somebody else's house and shag them if it's within 5km. I suppose that counts as exercise... You can travel further "for vital family reasons, such as providing care to children, elderly or vulnerable people - but excluding social family visits"

Caranica · 26-05-2020 12:31AM

Dial Hard wrote: »

The distance restrictions only apply to exercise.

Read the five phase plan, it's also for social gatherings and visits.

Phase 2 is hoped to be 08 June when you can visit people up to 20km away and go indoors for a short time. Longer distances is 20 July.

qwerty13 · 26-05-2020 02:00AM

This stuff reminds me of Y2K (showing my age there). What I mean is that even tv programmes went on afterwards about ‘sure nothing happened, what was all the fuss about, it was all fine’.

The reason Y2K was ‘fine’ was that a huge amount of work and money was put into making it fine. Mitigating the risk. The risk didn’t just magically disappear, it took a lot of effort and money. And by now it’s almost viewed as ‘sure it was fine, what was all the fuss about’.

I view the virus in the same way: it has taken enormous sacrifice by so many to reduce the number of deaths. But now that they are reduced, I can see a complacency creeping in. There is no vaccine as yet. So all we can do is learn about how it spreads, the risk factors, and try to mitigate both. That does not mean that everything is ok, by any means.

OP, you’re an at risk person, due to your physical condition. As are your parents, due to their age. That’s 2 potential interacting risks right there. Your parents have not been cocooning. They’ve been socially close to your brother, who has been out and about in the world. To me, this is reckless on their part. And his. I don’t understand it when there’s so many alternative solutions: online grocery shop, neighbours who offered to help but were turned down, phone calls / emails / video chats.

I think your brother is completely out of order basically emotionally blackmailing you to increase your risk. If your parents were terminally ill and it was the last chance see them, well then I would probably take that risk (depending on how bad your condition is). As things stand though, I see no reason why you should travel to see them, when it is not an essential journey, they have multiple alternatives re groceries and contact with you. It just seems ridiculous to me. And I think your brother should butt the hell out.

I would personally increase my virtual contact with them - phone, text, emails, video chat - whatever they’re conformable with. And I’d do an online shop whether they wanted/needed it or not. Even it if was just treats / nicer things than they’d normally buy. I understand that might not be financially possible for you, but if it is, I’d do that.

Pressure to visit family during lockdown

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