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Am i stupid getting in housemates argument with girlfriend?

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  • 24-04-2020 11:50am
    #1
    steve66
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭


    The situation
    So I was in my room. I could hear housemate and girlfriend arguing in other room. Later they were in kitchen.
    Girl shouting my name, telling me he is pulling my hair.
    I go out, try to stop it. But really he stops himself. I am not strong.
    Second time i got involved. First time he was pulling her down the stairs.
    My lady told me not to get involved. I should just stay in my room.
    I told her I would promise I would try. It is more likely that if I heard them arguing, I would get out of house for a while. But if I didn't get out in time i would probably just by instinct if not common sense intervene
    I had no credit on phone to ring guards.
    What would/did you do?


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    #2
    Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Community Manager


    Moved from Test to the Personal Issues forum, you should get some replies here steve66.

    How can I? User's guide to some features on the new site



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    #3
    steve66
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭steve66


    Thank you.


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    #4
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,993 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    steve66 wrote: »
    The situation
    So I was in my room. I could hear housemate and girlfriend arguing in other room. Later they were in kitchen.
    Girl shouting my name, telling me he is pulling my hair.
    I go out, try to stop it. But really he stops himself. I am not strong.
    Second time i got involved. First time he was pulling her down the stairs.
    My lady told me not to get involved. I should just stay in my room.
    I told her I would promise I would try. It is more likely that if I heard them arguing, I would get out of house for a while. But if I didn't get out in time i would probably just by instinct if not common sense intervene
    I had no credit on phone to ring guards.
    What would/did you do?

    In the pre covid world, you should report the vicious bastard to the Gardaí and move out just to get away from these people. However, I guess you care about this girl. And you've probably nowhere to go under the current restrictions.


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    #5
    Plumbthedepths
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    steve66 wrote: »
    The situation
    So I was in my room. I could hear housemate and girlfriend arguing in other room. Later they were in kitchen.
    Girl shouting my name, telling me he is pulling my hair.
    I go out, try to stop it. But really he stops himself. I am not strong.
    Second time i got involved. First time he was pulling her down the stairs.
    My lady told me not to get involved. I should just stay in my room.
    I told her I would promise I would try. It is more likely that if I heard them arguing, I would get out of house for a while. But if I didn't get out in time i would probably just by instinct if not common sense intervene
    I had no credit on phone to ring guards.
    What would/did you do?

    You don't need credit on your phone to call the Garda. Do it the next time.
    People turning the blind eye is what allows an abuser to continue.


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    #6
    mistress_gi
    Registered Users Posts: 963 ✭✭✭mistress_gi


    Wow, it sounds like there is a lot of abuse going on on that relationship. I think you tried to help. It didn't work. You need to distance yourself from that situation.
    If I were you I'd try to move or get your housemate to move as soon as possible, not that easy or responsible with the lockdown.
    No one deserves to live in those conditions...
    But make sure you report it to the guards.


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    #7
    Cartman78
    Registered Users Posts: 9,597 ✭✭✭Cartman78


    Was in a similar-ish situation years ago in a rented house.

    Went to the Gardai to report the abuse/violence but they said they can't do anything unless the victim reports it herself.

    Laws/regulations may have changed since (this was about 15 years ago) or maybe I just encountered a guard who couldn't be bothered.


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    #8
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Ring the guards straight away if it happens again ! You don't need credit to dial 999. I find your girlfriend's attitude disgusting . Encourage your housemate to contact Women's Aid if you can get her on her own and tell her your door is open if she needs help.

    If this bustard is willing to get physical with her when he knows there are other people present imagine what he's like when no-one's around.


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    #9
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,650 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Ring 999. You don't need credit


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    #10
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,388 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    There is an entire public awareness campaign going on right now advising people what to do if they witness or suspect domestic violence and the advice is report, report, report. Ring the Gardaí immediately if it happens again.

    I can't believe people are actually advising you to turn a blind eye.


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    #11
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    I understand where you are coming from, every natural instinct you have screams help her but there's also the risk of the violence being redirected towards you and that brings it's own risk too.

    Tbh, you all need to get out of this house. Have you options? Can you move out in the current situation because if you can, you should. Can you talk to her 2hen he's out of the house? Give her the women's aid helpline, encourage her to leave.

    If you can't intervene,you need to ring the guards when it happens again. If she is badly injured, how do you feel with it knowing you did nothing?


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    #12
    Beasty
    Administrators, Social & Fun Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 75,344 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Beasty


    Closing this thread - will get back when I've had some input from the local mod team

    EDIT:
    Did not take long as a regular re-reg troll had been stirring things. Now sitebanned and posts deleted

    Thread re-opened


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