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Gambling addiction..

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13

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    #62
    BumperD
    Registered Users Posts: 5,681 ✭✭✭BumperD


    BTW much respect to the posters here who have contributed sharing their own experiences. That takes balls.


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    #63
    Gavin "shels"
    Registered Users Posts: 17,963 ✭✭✭✭Gavin "shels"


    Not sure if it was mentioned but "Tony10" was interviewed in the Baz documentary yesterday on RTE

    https://www.rte.ie/player/ie/show/all-bets-are-off-30005224/10869124/


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    #64
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,042 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    I definitely had/have a gambling problem but I always recognized it. But it is only roulette and the worst thing about it is that I win more often than I lose. But when I lose I lose bad.

    One thing is I recognize the trigger and the main one is alcohol. The second trigger is the sound of the ball just before it drops. I have completely stopped now because I know that I know the dangers. I went to a casino tonight with my mates and I didn’t bet once. Didn’t even have a want.

    But I know if I even put one bet then that would be it. You need to understand the triggers that make you bet and avoid it.


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    #65
    Peintre Celebre
    Registered Users Posts: 2,484 ✭✭✭Peintre Celebre


    Quite sad reading some of the posts here. All the best to the lads posting


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    #66
    kiers47
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,564 ✭✭✭kiers47


    Yep it's pretty much all around us hiding in plain sight.
    One observation I do make is the people who I perceive to be addicts are always trying to hit a home run and big acca's even if they had a couple of singles come in they would be giving out they didn't have a double. Is this a common thing?


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    #67
    Mokuba
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,690 ✭✭✭Mokuba


    It's possibly the only addiction where a lot of people will feel doing more of it is their only way to stop.

    e.g Chasing losses.

    I was allowed to gamble from a very early age. My dad and grandad did and still do, and they allowed me to pick out a few teams for 2 quid or do a 10p Lucky 15 on a Saturday. It was basically a part of my life every weekend.

    When I turned of age I had free reign as I could do my own bets and was earning proper money. Lots of ups and downs in that time but more downs for sure. Odd day where I could have spent hours in the bookies. If you are winning or if you are losing, that is not healthy. Nothing horrible, I'm not in debt, but if I had saved some of what I gambled over the last 8 years I would have been able to enjoy a greater standard of living, for sure. I can't imagine how people in debt feel about it, like the whole world is closing in on them I imagine.

    I still quite like to bet on the football/GAA or a small lucky 15 on a Saturday but the trick is the jar method as mentioned before. If I have no money in the jar I put 20 in a week. I take 50 percent of all winnings out as profit and 50 percent I allow myself to re-gamble. I only bring a specific amount of cash from the jar out with me when I know I am going to the bookies and leave my card at home. Also important is knowing what you are going to bet on before you go in, because they have so many things to catch you. Virtuals run every 2-3 minutes, same with roulette. Just one bet on those could see someone chasing. They are designed to get you to bet again, e.g pipped on the line, or the roulette ball going into your section and bouncing out again. I have no online accounts anymore.

    It has become so normalised now that a lot of the time people are too late to realise that a person is in serious bother. And it is so easy to hide. I discourage people from getting into it always.


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    #68
    kiers47
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,564 ✭✭✭kiers47


    Haven't read the book but this is some start to it.
    The Barry Brogan Story

    https://twitter.com/thebedfordfox/status/989457107102597120?s=19


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    #69
    eric hoone
    Registered Users Posts: 485 ✭✭eric hoone


    My credit card is expiring this month might be the only thing to stop me online, hope I can't bring myself to register the new one. Guess I'll be getting a dozen different emails from my various accounts to register the new one, I've little enough sense but hopefully enough to think better of it.
    Was advised to get rid of credit card before, wish I'd listened, might still be the safest course of action


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    #70
    HandsomeBob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭HandsomeBob


    Might be on my own as I know he's taken some stick on here, but your man Tony10's account resonates with me. Especially the point of being incapable of engaging in new relationships, both friendly or romantic.


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    #71
    Gregk961
    Registered Users Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭Gregk961


    Some very sad accounts here, not much point reiterating what people have been saying already but...

    I couldn't give a better piece of advice than tell anybody with a gambling problem, big or small(a small problem all too often turns into a big one), to close every single gambling account they have open. Exclude for life from every possible bookie you could visit online or in person- A massive, massive weight will be lifted once you click confirm or sign your name on the last form.

    A lot of gamblers I speak to say they would have a hard time finding a hobby to replace gambling with- That is nonsense of the highest order. There are literally hundreds of things to do no matter where you are that are infinitely more rewarding/less damaging than gambling. It's a very poor excuse usually used by somebody who is not ready to quit.

    Gamblers anonymous is certainly not for everybody but it's not the only way to quit. It's a bit "out there" but a lot of people find Mindfulness techniques very helpful for overcoming addiction. Search for "Gambling Therapy" in the play store, it's an app with fantastic features and includes a Mindfulness package.


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    #72
    HandsomeBob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭HandsomeBob


    Self exclusion online and limits on the one I still have left has helped me immensely. I just need a medium to put the bet on and I'm not bothered if one bookie is offering a better price than the other.

    I can still have the odd mare in shop but that's easily stopped by leaving the card at home.

    Working on my fitness is probably the best thing I've done to control my gambling. I don't like saying that friends and family who also drink and gamble are a problem because that to me is a cop out and an insult to those people. It's as simple as being able to take control back of your own life and that can be done without dropping or ignoring people.


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    #73
    diomed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,744 ✭✭✭diomed


    I am not a compulsive gambler.
    I worked in finance and think my fondness for a bet was a negative in my career.
    That might have been my biggest gambling loss.

    You are told gamblers always talk about wins and you never hear about losses.
    To find out my real profit and loss (not my remembered bets) I got my full betting history from the bookmaker I used and the exchange I use.

    My experience is if you are known to like a bet people will know.
    (despite compulsive gamblers claiming nobody knew they gambled or if they did the extent).

    After the funeral of an uncle in the midlands we went back to a hotel.
    My first cousin, who I had met one or twice in my life, started to ask me about my gambling (I live in Dublin).
    Obviously all my relatives knew I bet.
    He seemed happy to know how little, and how seldom I bet.
    He even asked how much I had won or lost in a year, and asked about my biggest results, positive and negative.
    I found it refreshing to be asked searching questions.


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    #74
    madmoose
    Registered Users Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭madmoose


    I used to have a big problem on the football and chasing on it but with racing i’m fine.

    Anyway i lost a few quid chasing on the football one night and as this had happened a few times i opened up to my gf properly about it. We agreed that my savings are now attached to a new account she opened for me in her bank and only she can transfer the money across. So she would question what for if i want to transfer. I will still keep a low amount in my own accounts for racing bets and very low football.

    I wish there was an option though online to block football betting though.


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    #75
    HandsomeBob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭HandsomeBob


    diomed wrote: »
    I am not a compulsive gambler.
    I worked in finance and think my fondness for a bet was a negative in my career.
    That might have been my biggest gambling loss.

    You are told gamblers always talk about wins and you never hear about losses.
    To find out my real profit and loss (not my remembered bets) I got my full betting history from the bookmaker I used and the exchange I use.

    My experience is if you are known to like a bet people will know.
    (despite compulsive gamblers claiming nobody knew they gambled or if they did the extent).

    After the funeral of an uncle in the midlands we went back to a hotel.
    My first cousin, who I had met one or twice in my life, started to ask me about my gambling (I live in Dublin).
    Obviously all my relatives knew I bet.
    He seemed happy to know how little, and how seldom I bet.
    He even asked how much I had won or lost in a year, and asked about my biggest results, positive and negative.
    I found it refreshing to be asked searching questions.

    I'm open about my betting and don't try to hide it or big it up. If one of the lads ask me in work how I got on over the weekend and if I lost my bollox, I'd tell them I lost my bollox. Can't stand the spoofers who always win and if they're on a loser, say they had a saver on the winner. Gob****es who have issues way beyond gambling.


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    #76
    mattser
    Registered Users Posts: 2,211 ✭✭✭mattser


    BumperD wrote: »
    BTW much respect to the posters here who have contributed sharing their own experiences. That takes balls.

    It certainly does. Great to see and very selfless. Best of luck OP.


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    #77
    Johner
    Registered Users Posts: 21,625 ✭✭✭✭Johner


    1 month today without a bet for me. The longest time I've gone without one in more than 10 years. I've had some counselling with a specialist gambling counselor and felt it was good just to chat openly to someone. I'm finding myself checking live scores and the racing results less and less and feeling a lot better in myself. No stressful weekends, money in my pocket to spend and do normal things. Amazing that I wouldn't buy stuff in the shop before as it would eat into my so called gambling money. In the last month I've managed to save quite a bit, go away with the girlfriend etc. Expecting my first kid next January so will need every penny for that! It was tough at the start but it is getting easier, I know there will be testing times ahead but I feel I'm on the right path. What I found is helping is taking up running and boxing. Could barely manage 1km a month ago when I started but I'm up to 4km a day now. Just bought my own punch bag and gloves and do it after my run every day as well.


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    #78
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Johner wrote: »
    1 month today without a bet for me. The longest time I've gone without one in more than 10 years. I've had some counselling with a specialist gambling counselor and felt it was good just to chat openly to someone. I'm finding myself checking live scores and the racing results less and less and feeling a lot better in myself. No stressful weekends, money in my pocket to spend and do normal things. Amazing that I wouldn't buy stuff in the shop before as it would eat into my so called gambling money. In the last month I've managed to save quite a bit, go away with the girlfriend etc. Expecting my first kid next January so will need every penny for that! It was tough at the start but it is getting easier, I know there will be testing times ahead but I feel I'm on the right path. What I found is helping is taking up running and boxing. Could barely manage 1km a month ago when I started but I'm up to 4km a day now. Just bought my own punch bag and gloves and do it after my run every day as well.

    Fair play Johner. Sounds like youve taken some positives steps. Keep it up lad!


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    #79
    Ashleigh1986
    Registered Users Posts: 672 ✭✭✭Ashleigh1986


    Hi lads .
    I'm in my early 50s . I started betting when I was 12 .
    Looking back I was addicted to gambling by the time I was 15 .
    I always had money , I worked with my dad .
    I adored the buzz.
    The biggest sweat you will get as a gambler is gambling someone else's money.
    I did that on plenty of occasions .
    Some of which I came out the other side , some I didn't.
    Every gambler reaches a moment .
    Mine was the Friday of the galway races in 1997.
    I was sitting opposite a Garda answering questions of theft .
    That day was the last day I had a bet .
    This July it will be 22 years .The changes in my life because of me stopping gambling have been out of this world .
    I'm extremely proud of what I have achieved .
    To anyone living with a gambler , please try to understand generally we are good people .
    If you are living with a gambler , tough decisions need to be made by you especially if there are children involved .
    A addicted gambler will never stop until they have hit rock rock bottom and can't take anymore of the pain they are doing to themselves .
    I wish anyone about to go on that journey .... the very best .
    There's only one rule ....YOU CANT HAVE THE FIRST BET !!!


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    #80
    Ashleigh1986
    Registered Users Posts: 672 ✭✭✭Ashleigh1986


    Thanks for the thanks .
    The journey hasn't been easy .
    A lot of temptation on the way .
    I honestly beleive we are born with the gene to gamble .
    With SOME gamblers , the problem arises when you start feeding that seed.
    I beleive that seed today is still buried away inside me ... I'm just not feeding it.
    If I was to have just one bet ...god knows where it would end.
    I've bet in massive figures when people hadn't much money .
    I've lost business'es ...
    The amount to an addictive gambler doesn't matter , it's all about the buzz.
    Part of the buzz ...was the chase....the stealing /the lieing and than watching the bet.
    22 years later I still miss the buzz.
    Nothing in life ( for a gambler ) can replace the buzz.
    It's all about knowing the signs .
    Keeping yourself busy at those key moments .
    Cheltenham / galway races / huge sporting events are all key moments .
    The first year or so is the easy part .
    Your still raw from the hurt you caused yourself .
    Remember ....the person you hurt the most .....WAS YOU .
    After the first year I got some serious urges to start betting again.
    Life can throw some crap things at you and it's easy to say
    " what the **** I'm I doing ....??? I've done well to stop betting yet life is throwing crap at me ???"
    Those are key moments .
    Feeling as if your favourite toy ( gambling) has been taken from you .
    I went to one ga meeting. It wasn't for me .
    I got one to one councilling for about 2 years .
    After that I was on my own.
    It's easier if you have a loved one with you on that journey to support you ( I didn't ).
    Good luck to anyone starting off on the journey .


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    #81
    Blinkers_off
    Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Blinkers_off


    awww here is there nowhere else this thread can be moved, telling people not to bet on a horse racing sub forum ycnmiu


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    #82
    mirwillbeback
    Registered Users Posts: 2,003 ✭✭✭mirwillbeback


    Blinkers_off wrote: »
    awww here is there nowhere else this thread can be moved, telling people not to bet on a horse racing sub forum ycnmiu

    I’ve said before that having a compulsive gambler even posting in a horse racing forum is a temptation - what if they just click another thread, todays tips etc


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    #83
    Shemale
    Registered Users Posts: 3,376 ✭✭✭Shemale


    Blinkers_off wrote: »
    awww here is there nowhere else this thread can be moved, telling people not to bet on a horse racing sub forum ycnmiu

    Never seen you post in here before, you should keep it that way if this is the ****e you post.


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    #84
    Shemale
    Registered Users Posts: 3,376 ✭✭✭Shemale


    Well done Johner and Ashleigh, keep up the good work.

    Best of luck with the baby Johner, really is life changing.


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    #85
    Blinkers_off
    Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Blinkers_off


    Shemale wrote: »
    Never seen you post in here before, you should keep it that way if this is the ****e you post.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1396


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    #86
    slimshady007
    Registered Users Posts: 723 ✭✭✭slimshady007


    Blinkers_off wrote: »
    awww here is there nowhere else this thread can be moved, telling people not to bet on a horse racing sub forum ycnmiu

    Disagree with that - where else would you put it? I'm sure these stories resonate with some closet problem gamblers here (myself included). Judging by the reaction it's nice to see the support that exists within the forum.

    I completely agree with the theory that problem gamblers are born with a "gene" which makes them susceptible to gambling addiction. I mean at no stage in my childhood was I exposed to gambling nor did I experience any traumatic events so I cant blame it on that - everything was very normal.

    Yet when I had my first e/w bet on Clan Royal when he finished 2nd in the National I had this incredible "rush" I had never experienced before and from that moment I was hooked (I was 18 at the time).

    For ordinary punters if they win they take their winnings and go. If they lose they can accept their loss and go. For me, if I win I'm looking for the next bet to see how I increase (lose) my winnings. If I lose I'm looking to the next bet to get back what I lost. I do have a genuine interest in horse racing as a sport but I would safely say I've bet on pretty much every sport you can. I'm the type of guy who would go to 2 different supermarkets for the sake of a few euro less on the shopping bill to then go to the bookies and drop a few hundred there and not give it a second thought. I've always backed my own picks rather than tips for some reason - may be an egotistical thing.

    I've never beaten it and dont expect I ever will - big events like buying a house, having a kid, etc didn't make me stop so I cant think of anything that would. Maybe a stint in a clinic would work but as I'm the main bread winner that's not possible. I'm fortunate to have a supportive family and a decent paying job so with them controlling my funds now I can begin to clear the debt I'm in and put money towards something to look forward to. It's just depressing as hell to think I've gone through well over 100k over the last 15 years and all the good things I could have done with the money.

    With the advent of online gambling now I think it's a much wider issue than its given credit for. I have a friend who works in the head office for one of the big high street bookies. In the midlands town I'm from (c. 3000 population) there were 20 people who had turned over €1m each in their online account over the past year (I dont know how much each lost) which is staggering figures considering its size - only one bookie shop actually in the town itself.


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    #87
    redarmy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,836 ✭✭✭redarmy


    Blinkers_off wrote: »
    awww here is there nowhere else this thread can be moved, telling people not to bet on a horse racing sub forum ycnmiu
    muppet


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    #88
    handsfree2
    Registered Users Posts: 298 ✭✭handsfree2


    Fair play Johner and anyone else that has faced down a problem and got on with living. I can't imagine it's easy or what you've had to endure to make you come to the realization that you have a problem. You have my utmost respect for being brave enough to face reality and embrace life.

    I think it's impossible to book a profit these days now that one is backing against AI. One just has to look at the kids diminishing returns to see that. For me that's taken the fun out of it. I need the illusion that I can beat the bookie to enjoy placing a bet. That's so rare now that I never even think about betting.

    I get a lot more enjoyment out of sporting events now, enjoying them on their own merits, without looking for an angle to cash in.

    I still look forward to Cheltenham, but that's more about sharing time with friends than the gambling.

    In essence gambling is a waste of time, energy and commitment. At the end of the day gamblers want the kudos of winning more than the money. It's kind of like a a teenager bragging about his conquests.


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    #89
    Johner
    Registered Users Posts: 21,625 ✭✭✭✭Johner


    TheTorment wrote: »
    Fair play Johner. Sounds like youve taken some positives steps. Keep it up lad!
    Shemale wrote: »
    Well done Johner and Ashleigh, keep up the good work.

    Best of luck with the baby Johner, really is life changing.
    handsfree2 wrote: »
    Fair play Johner and anyone else that has faced down a problem and got on with living. I can't imagine it's easy or what you've had to endure to make you come to the realization that you have a problem. You have my utmost respect for being brave enough to face reality and embrace life.

    Thanks for all the nice messages lads, one day at a time.

    For years I knew I had a problem but it was still impossible to say it out loud. If anyone is struggling and just needs to try and put it down in words drop me a PM for a chat.


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    #90
    Johner
    Registered Users Posts: 21,625 ✭✭✭✭Johner


    Thought I’d bump this thread with Cheltenham starting tomorrow. Life is so much better for me without gambling. Actually saving money every week as opposed to losing it or winning it then losing it feels great. I’m currently saving for a deposit for a house and have a new baby that arrived a month ago. I probably would have had all this done years ago if it wasn’t for gambling which consumed my life, time and money. But I’m looking forward instead of back and the future is looking positive. It took a lot of work to get where I am today and it definitely wasn’t easy but it can be done with lots of help and support. The big thing is you really have to want to stop, for years I’d say I didn’t want this anymore, I’d try and stop but deep down despite the heartache it caused I loved the buzz too much. I’ll record Cheltenham tomorrow and watch it when I get home and enjoy it. I never thought I’d get to that point. Again if anyone is struggling please try and talk to someone, I know it is really hard but it gets easier. Drop a PM either, it is good to just let it all out even if it’s just over the internet.


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    #91
    handsfree2
    Registered Users Posts: 298 ✭✭handsfree2


    Johner wrote: »
    Thought I’d bump this thread with Cheltenham starting tomorrow. Life is so much better for me without gambling. Actually saving money every week as opposed to losing it or winning it then losing it feels great. I’m currently saving for a deposit for a house and have a new baby that arrived a month ago. I probably would have had all this done years ago if it wasn’t for gambling which consumed my life, time and money. But I’m looking forward instead of back and the future is looking positive. It took a lot of work to get where I am today and it definitely wasn’t easy but it can be done with lots of help and support. The big thing is you really have to want to stop, for years I’d say I didn’t want this anymore, I’d try and stop but deep down despite the heartache it caused I loved the buzz too much. I’ll record Cheltenham tomorrow and watch it when I get home and enjoy it. I never thought I’d get to that point. Again if anyone is struggling please try and talk to someone, I know it is really hard but it gets easier. Drop a PM either, it is good to just let it all out even if it’s just over the internet.

    Congratulations, I'm delighted for you, you're living life.


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