Caroline Flack found dead

retro:electro · 16-02-2020 08:35PM

homingbird wrote: »

There has been no deaths / suicide linked to thoes other shows.

That I don’t know. They don’t get the same notoriety LI contestants get post show so there very well could be some suicides, we just don’t hear about them, but it’s a very one dimensional stance to take to solely blame the show. It’s never that straightforward and the inquests revealed the two Love Island contestants who died had been fighting their own battles for quite some time.

The only time I agreed a show should be taken off air after a death was the Jeremy Kyle scandal. And that’s because that show completely exploited vulnerable people and ridiculed them for views.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 08:37PM

Gynoid wrote: »

Oh, but apparently it is not impossible to quantify or qualify. My "copy and paste effort" was in response to a post of your where you attempted to quantify and qualify with reference to precisely nothing except your imagination....

You said -
"No, it’s just that women don’t exhibit the same level of physical violence as men is all, and they’re generally deemed weaker and more incapable of inflicting physical injury on a man, than the other way around where men are generally far more capable of inflicting greater injury on a woman."

Consistent studies show that violence in intimate relationships is a lot more equally represented among men and women than I for one ever realised. It surprised me in truth. I am not trying to pull a fast one on you. Surely you can accept you may be incorrect.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men

What I said wasn’t an attempt to qualify or quantify anything. I’m well aware that there is no objective standard for what constitutes domestic abuse/ intimate partner violence, etc - the point being that standards are so loosely and poorly defined that it’s impossible to get a true figure.

What you realised doesn’t contradict what I was referring to - women don’t generally exhibit the same level of physical violence as men.

Sure, if I wanted to I could use small scale studies and put emotional, verbal and mental abuse on the same scale as physical abuse and then claim lesbian women are the most likely to commit intimate partner violence and domestic abuse. It’s absolutely a fact, but I wouldn’t say it was representative of a whole lot.

16-02-2020 08:48PM

the_pen_turner wrote: »

i hate that people keep posting that. was she kind to her boyfriend. no

she hardly wrote that did she, seems like one of those crappy memes women put on social media to look "deep" or "philosophical"

the_pen_turner · 16-02-2020 08:50PM

Brixton Calm Pebble wrote: »

she hardly wrote that did she, seems like one of those crappy memes women put on social media to look "deep" or "philosophical"

i dont know but its being claimed she did

ThewhiteJesus · 16-02-2020 08:50PM

How are they so sure it’s suicide ? I mean it could have been accidental like an overdose or vomit swallowing, it must have been something obvious

Arrival · 16-02-2020 09:00PM

Diceicle wrote: »

Read up on who she was. Love Island presenter who battered her partner around the head with a lamp while he slept.......
Her ex said he was 'not surprised' when news of the assault broke - indicating she has a history of this and possibly did similar to him.
Why do I get the feeling that if it were Carolines fella who commited suicide after battering her with a lamp we wouldn't be seeing many 'Lewis Burton RIP' posts?

You're absolutely spot on and I don't think you're trying to justify her commiting suicide or implying she deserved to end up ending her own life like some fools are saying in response to your post. It's important for people to be aware of people's horrible acts in life and to call a spade a spade before calling them angels and pouring their hearts out over them just because they died. Death is a part of life, and if you're a **** in life then dying doesn't absolve you from being called a ****. And absolutely if the roles were reversed, and a man had smashed a lamp over his girlfriend's head while she slept, the man would be totally crucified and completely destroyed; and rightfully so.

martingriff · 16-02-2020 09:00PM

While I always like her I felt her happy go lucky smile was a bit but on as if she was covering up some insecurities or some such and it may that may be the case. She seemed to have some anger issues (or at least a fear of being alone that may bring it on) and it was a shame she was not able to overcome that. Now this does not in anyway diminish was she done to her boyfriend who it appears may still love her. I have no idea what her family and friends are going through as while I have known of people who took there own lives I was not 2 close to them but I say it is not helping with the rehashing of her troubles and who is to blame.

silver2020 · 16-02-2020 09:11PM

Large retailers have the power to bring the tabloids to book.

If Tesco, Sainsbury & Asda decided to suspend sales of The Sun or The Mail for a period of 3 months, you'd find that they would very quickly change their ways.

Airyfairy12 · 16-02-2020 09:12PM

Only found out who she was after she died but I read a couple of times that she'd reached out for help but was told by the person she reached out to that she was draining.
This hit a cord with me because when I was at a low point, I did everything youre supposed to do. Reached out to friends and family who turned their backs, most of them treated me like id killed their dog or something for asking for help, it was horrible. Went to counselors who couldn't offer any help but suggesting mindfulness and breathing, rang the help lines only for the volunteer to repeat all my sentences back to me as to show they were 'listening' I would have gotten more helpful responses from my cat.
Theres so much in the media telling people with bad mental health to talk to someone but what happens when theres no one willing to listen? Theyre left feeling more alone and isolated and ashamed of themselves for being openly vulnerable and reaching out.
We could all be a little more kinder and helpful to each other, people are so quick to pick other people apart over unimportant 'flaws' and the level of hate directed towards people they dont like is over the top.
Some of the most seemingly nicest people can treat other people terribly. If you see it happening, don't involve yourself in the bullying and bitching and maybe even be the bigger person and stand up for people who are been bullied and excluded. It happens in all walks of life.
Your words and actions can easily save or end someones life.

MissShihTzu · 16-02-2020 09:12PM

silver2020 wrote: »

Large retailers have the power to bring the tabloids to book.

If Tesco, Sainsbury & Asda decided to suspend sales of The Sun or The Mail for a period of 3 months, you'd find that they would very quickly change their ways.

Nice thought. Unfortunately, it's never going to happen.

Raconteuse · 16-02-2020 09:15PM

Arrival wrote: »

You're absolutely spot on and I don't think you're trying to justify her commiting suicide or implying she deserved to end up ending her own life like some fools are saying in response to your post. It's important for people to be aware of people's horrible acts in life and to call a spade a spade before calling them angels and pouring their hearts out over them just because they died. Death is a part of life, and if you're a **** in life then dying doesn't absolve you from being called a ****. And absolutely if the roles were reversed, and a man had smashed a lamp over his girlfriend's head while she slept, the man would be totally crucified and completely destroyed; and rightfully so.

I think in these cases men are roundly condemned.

I think in the case of women, it can be one extreme or the other from many - bizarre leniency or super scathing hatred. But there's the moderate cohort who get drowned out, that would condemn a man or a woman the same amount for the same behaviour.

Hammer89 · 16-02-2020 09:16PM

the_pen_turner wrote: »

i hate that people keep posting that. was she kind to her boyfriend. no

She was unkind to her boyfriend then was she? The fact they were together up until yesterday suggests there was probably more good than bad in that relationship, like most relationships, so try keep things in perspective for **** sake. She's not a hypocrite for posting a meme telling people to be kind.

the_pen_turner · 16-02-2020 09:16PM

MissShihTzu wrote: »

Nice thought. Unfortunately, it's never going to happen.

i wouldnt be so sure. it could happen if they thought it put them in the right light and promoted them

look at the 'ban' on plastic drinking straws. you could be seen as some kind of enviromental terrorist if you asked for one but they have no problem giving you a plastic lid .
its about the rigth pr

Airyfairy12 · 16-02-2020 09:16PM

Only found out who she was after she died but I read a couple of times that she'd reached out for help but was told by the person she reached out to that she was draining.
This hit a cord with me as im sure it does for allot of people going through depression or anxiety, when I was at a low point, I did everything youre supposed to do. I Reached out to friends and family who turned their backs, it was horrible. Went to counselors who couldn't offer any help but suggesting mindfulness and breathing exercises, rang the help lines only for the volunteer to repeat all my sentences back to me as to show they were 'listening' I would have gotten more helpful responses from my cat.

Theres so much in the media telling people with bad mental health to talk to someone but what happens when theres no one willing to listen? Allot of people are left feeling more alone and isolated and ashamed of themselves for being openly vulnerable and reaching out.
We could all be a little kinder and helpful to each other, people are so quick to pick other people apart over unimportant 'flaws' and the level of hate directed towards people they dont like is disgusting. They never seem to be able to put themselves in the other persons shoes and imagine how they might feel and some of the most seemingly nicest people can treat other people terribly. It happens in all walks of life.
Your words and actions can very easily save or end someones life.

Hannibal_Smith · 16-02-2020 09:18PM

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Look at Lottie Ryan and the vitriol she received online in recent weeks with the media accusing her of having prior dance experience prior to Dancing with the Stars, which she has claimed to be an exaggeration.

They used to show Breakfast Republic (2fm) live on FB. Lottie got a lot of negative personal comments. Keith went on a rant one morning demanding people give it over.

silver2020 · 16-02-2020 09:18PM

MissShihTzu wrote: »

Nice thought. Unfortunately, it's never going to happen.

happened in Liverpool after the Hillsborough tragedy - 30 years later you'll struggle to find a copy of that paper in liverpool.

Funny, sales of toilet paper increased.

martingriff · 16-02-2020 09:18PM

Arrival wrote: »

You're absolutely spot on and I don't think you're trying to justify her commiting suicide or implying she deserved to end up ending her own life like some fools are saying in response to your post. It's important for people to be aware of people's horrible acts in life and to call a spade a spade before calling them angels and pouring their hearts out over them just because they died. Death is a part of life, and if you're a **** in life then dying doesn't absolve you from being called a ****. And absolutely if the roles were reversed, and a man had smashed a lamp over his girlfriend's head while she slept, the man would be totally crucified and completely destroyed; and rightfully so.

She was been crucified and was been destroyed as far as I knew. Only one I heard was the BF denying claims he hit her with the lamp. May be wrong and open to correction. Now of course people are going to say positive things at the main when someone dies that normally happens at the moment and it may change. I do take what her ex boyfriend says with a bit of salt. It was 1 tweet and nothing more was said from what I remember.

the_pen_turner · 16-02-2020 09:19PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

She was unkind to her boyfriend then was she? The fact they were together up until yesterday suggests there was probably more good than bad in that relationship, like most relationships, so try keep things in perspective for **** sake. She's not a hypocrite for posting a meme telling people to be kind.

i have seen some mental gymnastics on boards in my time but calling domestic violance and hitting your boybriend over the head while he sleep as kind is taking it to a new low.

Raconteuse · 16-02-2020 09:19PM

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

We could all be a little more kinder and helpful to each other, people are so quick to pick other people apart over unimportant 'flaws' and the level of hate directed towards people they dont like is over the top.

Here people can be so damn personal and nasty just because of a differing opinion (as it's easy for them when anonymous). If they just thought for a second about what difficult times the person might be going through.

Hammer89 · 16-02-2020 09:21PM

the_pen_turner wrote: »

i have seen some mental gymnastics on boards in my time but calling domestic violance and hitting your boybriend over the head while he sleep as kind is taking it to a new low.

I've no idea what you're talking about. According to the boyfriend they had 'something so special'. It's probably wise to value his opinion on their relationship a bit higher than your own opinion on the relationship.

ThewhiteJesus · 16-02-2020 09:21PM

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Only found out who she was after she died but I read a couple of times that she'd reached out for help but was told by the person she reached out to that she was draining.
This hit a cord with me as im sure it does for allot of people going through depression or anxiety, when I was at a low point, I did everything youre supposed to do. I Reached out to friends and family who turned their backs, it was horrible. Went to counselors who couldn't offer any help but suggesting mindfulness and breathing exercises, rang the help lines only for the volunteer to repeat all my sentences back to me as to show they were 'listening' I would have gotten more helpful responses from my cat.

Theres so much in the media telling people with bad mental health to talk to someone but what happens when theres no one willing to listen? Allot of people are left feeling more alone and isolated and ashamed of themselves for being openly vulnerable and reaching out.
We could all be a little kinder and helpful to each other, people are so quick to pick other people apart over unimportant 'flaws' and the level of hate directed towards people they dont like is disgusting. They never seem to be able to put themselves in the other persons shoes and imagine how they might feel and some of the most seemingly nicest people can treat other people terribly. It happens in all walks of life.
Your words and actions can very easily save or end someones life.

Well said and I have the same experience, when you’re in trouble you shouldn’t have to ask for help, it should be put on you by family, pity this is never the case it’s much easier to write I love you on Facebook when the person is gone

Raconteuse · 16-02-2020 09:22PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

She was unkind to her boyfriend then was she? The fact they were together up until yesterday suggests there was probably more good than bad in that relationship, like most relationships, so try keep things in perspective for **** sake. She's not a hypocrite for posting a meme telling people to be kind.

According to a police officer, the assault looked like attempted murder. So yes, it appears she was "unkind" to him.

16-02-2020 09:23PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I've no idea what you're talking about. According to the boyfriend they had 'something so special'. It's probably wise to value his opinion on their relationship a bit higher than your own.

Do you know how many times a typical victim of domestic abuse goes back to their abuser?
How many victims retract their complaints?
Victims sticking up for their abusers is nothing new

the_pen_turner · 16-02-2020 09:23PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I've no idea what you're talking about. According to the boyfriend they had 'something so special'. It's probably wise to value his opinion on their relationship a bit higher than your own opinion on the relationship.

lots of victims stay with their abusers

Silentcorner · 16-02-2020 09:26PM

the_pen_turner wrote: »

i have seen some mental gymnastics on boards in my time but calling domestic violance and hitting your boybriend over the head while he sleep as kind is taking it to a new low.

It is this simple

If your girlfriend hops a lamp off your head while you sleep you are being abused.
If you call the cops because you feel threatened to the point where you call the cops, you are being abused.
An abused individual is always vulnerable in and out of that relationship and we know men are far less likely to report abuse.

This incident and the reaction to her tragic death just goes to show how far away we are from accepting that women, just like men, are capable of horrific behaviour in relationships.

The well funded "Industry", that is funded to help people who are abused are clearly not fit for purpose and I'd go so far to say they should be ashamed of themselves.

Hammer89 · 16-02-2020 09:27PM

You people have the empathy and distorted perception of actual sociopaths. It's astounding.

neonsofa · 16-02-2020 09:28PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

According to a police officer, the assault looked like attempted murder. So yes, it appears she was "unkind" to him.

Also, it can take on average something like 7 times for a person to leave an abusive partner. (I am recalling this from memory so correct me if that figure is wrong/outdated). Domestic abuse is hugely complex and its not as simple as saying "well he stayed with her/he dropped the charges". That tells us nothing about their relationship. We just don't know.

the_pen_turner · 16-02-2020 09:29PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

You people have the empathy and distorted perception of actual sociopaths. It's astounding.

not sure how to react.
thank you

Airyfairy12 · 16-02-2020 09:29PM

Raconteuse wrote: »

Here people can be so damn personal and nasty just because of a differing opinion (as it's easy for them when anonymous). If they just thought for a second about what difficult times the person might be going through.

Thought that comment didnt post, I got an error message and wrote it out again.

So true but also in the real world.
I used to work with special needs people, sometimes id occasionally see some of them out and about in town. On one or two occasions ive seen people I know, who normally come across as really lovely and likable interacting with some of the special needs people I used to work with in shops and public places. I was shocked to see them being treated with such contempt and being belittled and openly ignored by such seemingly nice people.

You dont have to like everybody you meet. You do not have any right to try and force someone into being something you would prefare or isolate, exclude, bully or express your dislike to anyone.
We teach children to be nice and include everyone yet adults are grown up bullies pushing each other to suicide.

Raconteuse · 16-02-2020 09:33PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

You people have the empathy and distorted perception of actual sociopaths. It's astounding.

Your comment is what's astounding. You are completely disregarding that she smashed her boyfriend over the head so hard that a police officer said the scene looked like attempted murder. That's the scale it was - police were called.

Is it sociopathic to disregard such an attack?

Caroline Flack found dead

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