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Loneliness and singledom

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    #152
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,396 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Deleted User wrote: »
    The pretending that negatives don't have an impact really annoys me and feels like pure condescension.
    I'm bald and am well aware that for a large proportion of women that's either a deal-breaker or an input. Pretending that if I had hair that I wouldn't stay on the would-bang list for a bit longer on average is puerile. Along with my fatness I'm starting in a hole compared to if I dropped a few stone and a few grand on hair plugs.


    I ain’t the most fantastic looking guy, bald certainly no slim Jim, but its all in the delivery of YOU.

    If you have passion for life, it becomes infectious. A good personality helps as does a sense of humour. Looks fade, but what and who the person is remains.

    One I would never get hair implants, two I do something about my fatiness (not for anyone else just myself or health and well being)

    By the way, I am not joking when I say, there is no shortage of women willing to “have a go”. Thankfully, I am settled in that respect.


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    #153
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    At the risk of anyone I know reading this and knowing who I am I am currently enjoying something about single; I'm watching Star Trek from start to end. Every series and movie in release order. A quick google suggests that's over 500 hours. Unlikely to find someone wanting to put that much time in with me. :pac:


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    #154
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    At the risk of anyone I know reading this and knowing who I am I am currently enjoying something about single; I'm watching Star Trek from start to end. Every series and movie in release order. A quick google suggests that's over 500 hours. Unlikely to find someone wanting to put that much time in with me. :pac:

    You're going to die alone..


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    #155
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    At the risk of anyone I know reading this and knowing who I am I am currently enjoying something about single; I'm watching Star Trek from start to end. Every series and movie in release order. A quick google suggests that's over 500 hours. Unlikely to find someone wanting to put that much time in with me. :pac:

    I am willing to spend 500 hours arguing about b0llocks on boards/ painting my nails/ scrolling through Instagram while himself watches whatever.

    Relationships are all about compromise, like.


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    #156
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    NSAman wrote: »
    I ain’t the most fantastic looking guy, bald certainly no slim Jim, but its all in the delivery of YOU.

    If you have passion for life, it becomes infectious. A good personality helps as does a sense of humour. Looks fade, but what and who the person is remains.

    One I would never get hair implants, two I do something about my fatiness (not for anyone else just myself or health and well being)

    By the way, I am not joking when I say, there is no shortage of women willing to “have a go”. Thankfully, I am settled in that respect.

    Even 5 years ago I'd agree on the hair transplant but they look a helluva lot better now.


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    #157
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    You're going to die alone..

    No he wont.


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    #158
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Deleted User wrote: »
    You're going to die alone..
    I copped that quite a while ago.
    KiKi III wrote: »
    I am willing to spend 500 hours arguing about b0llocks on boards/ painting my nails/ scrolling through Instagram while himself watches whatever.

    Relationships are all about compromise, like.
    Ah yeah but over what timeframe? :P


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    #159
    Irish_rat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,555 ✭✭✭Irish_rat


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    You're going to die alone..

    Like everyone else will?


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    #160
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm almost 38 and live with my dad. Just sayin'.


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    #161
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    KiKi III wrote: »
    I am willing to spend 500 hours arguing about b0llocks on boards/ painting my nails/ scrolling through Instagram while himself watches whatever.

    Relationships are all about compromise, like.

    Also....I know of a few men who feel obliged to watch X factor or whatever the oh likes. But I never understood why anyone has to do that. I read books more than watch tv. Not sonething they could join in with :D
    If I watched tv itd probably be about something odd that wouldnt interest many people so Id assume they wouldnt want to watch it. You dont have to do everything together, or like the same things.


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    #162
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Even 5 years ago I'd agree on the hair transplant but they look a helluva lot better now.

    Nah hair transplants still look dodge as fook.

    I mean, Wayne Rooney.

    Bald dude here. Embrace the baldness lads and for God sake don't attempt a comb over or wig or grow whats left out :eek:


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    #163
    neonsofa
    Registered Users Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    Bald is way better than thinning hair or weird comb overs. It's never been a deal breaker/issue to me.


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    #164
    Rologyro
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Rologyro


    neonsofa wrote: »
    Bald is way better than thinning hair or weird comb overs. It's never been a deal breaker/issue to me.

    Yea I like the bald with beard combo.


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    #165
    neonsofa
    Registered Users Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    Rologyro wrote: »
    Yea I like the bald with beard combo.

    Same actually!


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    #166
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Nah hair transplants still look dodge as fook.

    I mean, Wayne Rooney.

    Bald dude here. Embrace the baldness lads and for God sake don't attempt a comb over or wig or grow whats left out :eek:

    He got them a good while back and putting pubes on a potato is never going to look good. Cesc Fabregas' look much better.


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    #167
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,885 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Sound for the encouragement folks! Times must be a changing, or the people I used to hang out with were too judgemental. For the person who now appears banned, or deleted all their (subsequently quoted) posts, I'm at home because I tried the mortgage and everything and failed, so I'm home because I'm paying off the negative equity, and it's after getting comfortable. I can help my 70+ year old parents with things they can't, or struggle to, do. And I still get mammy dinners, so already eating healthier. Actually, I've managed to keep 2.5 or the 3 stone I lost before moving home off me, and I think it's due to mammy's cooking! Didn't eat bacon and cabbage but one every few months, but since I'm home it's weekly and amazing!

    Anyway, I know I'm down on myself, and I'm trying to work on that. I don't react well to disappointment these days, as too much disappointment in my life so far has left me feeling like I can't take chances for fear of being disappointed again. I have a plan to start working on a project which will hopefully lead to working in an area I'm actually interested in (gaming! :D ) but I'm reluctant to start again due to the fear of failing, but I will, at some point. But since moving home I've grown a beard, a find beard if I say so myself, and I've been getting compliments because of it (usually other men, but hey, it's something) and I've gotten more compliments in the last 3 years than the 33 prior to it, so I'm getting some confidence back.

    Again, thanks for all the encouragement. I haven't been looking, for those reasons, but also because my current friend group are all 10+ years younger than me. Kinda hard to find people my age who have time for anime and gaming (it's a weekly thing, get up to date on the shows we all watch, play a few games or every couple of weeks continue our D&D session). But that's all going to change soon, as the main 2 in the house went and got themselves pregnant, so that will change, regardless of their insistence it won't. Seen it too many times.

    So maybe a change is coming, fingers crossed and all that. And should I manage to find a relationship, I'm sure I'll be on here in a few years time commenting on a thread called "Relationships and frustration" reminiscing about being single!


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    #168
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    Just looked at my ex’s Instagram. Why? Why did I do that to myself? Ugh.


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    #169
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 9,045 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    KiKi III wrote: »
    Just looked at my ex’s Instagram. Why? Why did I do that to myself? Ugh.




    why? what happened when you looked at it?:confused:


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    #170
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,675 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    KiKi III wrote: »
    Just looked at my ex’s Instagram. Why? Why did I do that to myself? Ugh.

    And I’ll bet it’s him on the rebound, lots of facade-like cheery photos with his pals, new GF maybe on expensive looking holidays, out on drives, hiking in the West of Ireland, parties etc. He could be well putting those out there to mask feelings of insecurity and emptiness inside.

    I’ve heard that more people in their 30s are single than ever before - surely more single men in their 30 = more opportunities for you to meet a new guy. :D

    That’s where taking a little “digital detox” away from the all-pervasive social media definitely benefits the old mood. Have you thought of doing something creative? Do you like art? I’m in an art and ceramics group and I love it. :)

    PS: Hope we can reconnect at an AH mini-meet soon, Kiki.


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    #171
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,049 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    reg114 wrote: »
    Clubs and societies are really the main way forward especially if you dont have a gra for the pub scene.
    I used to think that but I'm not so sure now. I've met plenty of great people through hobbies and clubs but unless there's a night out involved, its hard to make anything happen. As much as I hate the pub scene, I'm starting to think its the only realistic option. Trying to find people to go out is the tricky part though. Nights out in work are far and few between, and most of them are paired up anyway.


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    #172
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    pgj2015 wrote: »
    why? what happened when you looked at it?:confused:

    I felt like crap.


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    #173
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 9,045 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    KiKi III wrote: »
    I felt like crap.



    im not on facebook or instagram etc so when i break up with someone i dont have to see any of their social media.


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    #174
    Rufeo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 503 ✭✭✭Rufeo


    Literally the above. Get off Social media! Such a waste of life.


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    #175
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    KiKi III wrote: »
    I felt like crap.

    I met a boyfriend on a website. I hadn't been on the site until a while after we split up and when I logged in I changed my info. to 'engaged' ( it was a fairly fast engagement to a previous boyfriend, after we split) and I removed my name from his profile and he instantly started befriending and smarming on other womens photos. Social media has the potential to be another knife to the heart. Only occured to me afterwards that maybe my own actions (changing my online info) had insulted him in the first place but that's just more examples of how things can be unintentionally hurtful and seeing stuff in blackand white (text) can magnify things.


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    #176
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,049 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Which is worse, living at home and having a bit of money in your pocket, or renting and having no disposable income to enjoy life?


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    #177
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users Posts: 16,723 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    Which is worse, living at home and having a bit of money in your pocket, or renting and having no disposable income to enjoy life?

    The former, if the other person lives somewhere you can ride without worrying about parents hearing.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php




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    #178
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    KiKi III wrote: »
    I spend a lot of time by myself (I work from home). I can’t help but feel that if I had an OH a lot of the friendship stuff would bother me a little less.

    Anyone else in the same boat? Any advice?

    Meditation and similar things are useful because they are things you generally do alone anyway. So if the times when you are alone are bothering you - then focusing on pursuits that require you to be alone, and make you comfortable being with yourself - can often be useful.

    As for working from home - if this is bothering you have you considered renting a desk in one of those "shared office space" working environment things? CoWorking or whatever they call it.

    I know of one romance - two friendships - and two joint business ventures that were born out of people meeting at those. But if nothing else it does get some contact with other human beings :)


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    #179
    KiKi III
    Registered Users Posts: 2,653 ✭✭✭KiKi III


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Meditation and similar things are useful because they are things you generally do alone anyway. So if the times when you are alone are bothering you - then focusing on pursuits that require you to be alone, and make you comfortable being with yourself - can often be useful.

    As for working from home - if this is bothering you have you considered renting a desk in one of those "shared office space" working environment things? CoWorking or whatever they call it.

    I know of one romance - two friendships - and two joint business ventures that were born out of people meeting at those. But if nothing else it does get some contact with other human beings :)

    I did that for a little while but when you’re already paying Dublin rent, another €300-400pm for desk space isn’t viable.


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    #180
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    KiKi III wrote: »
    I did that for a little while but when you’re already paying Dublin rent, another €300-400pm for desk space isn’t viable.

    Suppose so! If I was working from home all or most of the time I think the first thing I would do would be to leave Dublin entirely. As it is I live just outside Maynooth and this serves for working in Blanch. I have a relative that lives in the middle of Offaly and commutes to Blanch every day too! Some people are mad. But he does love to drive :)


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    #181
    Feisar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,624 ✭✭✭Feisar


    KiKi III wrote: »
    Just looked at my ex’s Instagram. Why? Why did I do that to myself? Ugh.

    Wouldn't worry about that, I wish my life as as cool as my best friend's Instagram account.

    First they came for the socialists...



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