Gender imbalance in cooking ability

meeeeh · 27-01-2020 03:03PM

I had almost no cooking skills before moving to Ireland at 25 and my now husband was a better cook. Due to work hours I do almost all cooking now and I am much better cook than him.

Cooking can be learned later in life and I think it's way more important to what variety of food and quality of food you were exposed as child than learning how to cook in childhood. I didn't know how to cook 20 years ago but I knew how good food should taste and I'm considered very good cook now by friends and family.

Edit: female almost 42, husband is same age

Boardnashea · 27-01-2020 03:04PM

In my family my wife does most of the day to day, I would tend to do the specials and our three youth members are all able to put a meal together (18,16 and 12). However, the boy, in the middle, is the more adventurous and confident in the kitchen.

NSAman · 27-01-2020 03:07PM

chrissb8 wrote: »

"This meal is super easy and will take half an hour to prepare and cook!"

1.5 hours later.......

Always amazes me that... it is simple. I can make a curry or sweet and sour from scratch (not out of a bottle) with nothing except natural ingredients in 30 minutes...(25 if I am rushing). It is quicker than they can deliver from the takeaway and much healthier.

I too, have noticed that the younger generation of women either cannot cook/dont want to cook and it is the guys that do most of it.

It amazes me that here in the States there is a massive week long cooking marathon before Thanksgiving with people (mostly women) getting stressed because people are coming over... last year I cooked for 20 took a few hours but was not exactly taxing. Herself cleaned up but is equally a good cook.

I cook mostly as I am in from work earlier....

Stateofyou · 27-01-2020 03:08PM

We share the duties fairly equally. Growing up my mother only focused on my sister with regards to cooking, house stuff, etc. When I took over "cooking" duties after my wife worked late hours, I'm embarrassed to say it started with pulling starters and packages of things from the freezer thrown together to make a meal. After almost 2 weeks of crap dinners and good food going off in the fridge my wife exploded on me, and too right in fairness. She pulled me up and said no one taught her how to cook but if she can follow a recipe and watch youtube so can I. She did go over some things with me, and now I have confidence (and cop on). We both have our specialties.

She swears my porridge is best so I usually do Sat morning brekkie unless she's in the mood to do one of her savage fry ups. We both clean up but she refuses to clean up after I cook because somehow I destroy the place whereas she cleans as she goes. I'm working on that! I'd say as long as both partners try to divvy up however they see a fair split, that's the main thing.

realdanbreen · 27-01-2020 03:08PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Right, so I'm a man in the 30-35 age bracket and I've noticed something, and want boards opinions on the matter.

Is it just me, or (in general) are women my age really lacking in cooking abilities?

My wife cannot cook at all (I do it every day and she handles the cleaning), my younger sisters are incapable of doing anything bar a Goodfellas and even then that's a dicey operation, the vast majority of women acquaintances can't cook. Came up at the weekend with the lads and the overwhelming majority of them are the cooks of their house.

Is this in line with your experience? What happened?

As it turns out, I don't mind much as I really enjoy it. But I do worry at times.

Women are more attracted to real men who don't cook rather than some fella who is glued to the great British bake off!

27-01-2020 03:14PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Just wondering about the imbalance, was it just me etc.

Probably just you - my own relationship mirrors what you have observed. My girlfriends can not even cook an omelette or an oven pizza without something going wrong on them entirely. I think they can about make a tin of beans hot. I remember once they read "clove of garlic" in some recipe and thought it meant the entire bulb of garlic. That was an interesting result.

But this is unique in my circle as I think I have observed the opposite to you - in that most people in relationships around me are skewed towards either the woman doing most of it - or it being a 50:50 split.

My goal is to teach it to all my kids equally. So even my 5 year old boy is pretty much making banana bread and pancakes on his own these days - though I do oversee the oven bit just to be safe. But then again my 9 year old girl can wire a plug and fire a rifle - which the majority of men and women I know can not do these days either

Winning_Stroke · 27-01-2020 03:17PM

realdanbreen wrote: »

Women are more attracted to real men who don't cook rather than some fella who is glued to the great British bake off!

There's no denying the rugged rotundness of the body type that one only gets from a dedication to the Supermacs and pints lifestyle, gets the women going.

BeerWolf · 27-01-2020 03:18PM

Yeah no.

While one of my sisters can't cook if her life depended on it, the other two are great one more so.

Me. I like to think I'm better than them though, but that's debatable. But we all agree I make the best pasta dishes.

Woke Hogan · 27-01-2020 03:20PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Probably just you - my own relationship mirrors what you have observed. My girlfriends can not even cook an omelette or an oven pizza without something going wrong on them entirely. I think they can about make a tin of beans hot. I remember once they read "clove of garlic" in some recipe and thought it meant the entire bulb of garlic. That was an interesting result.

But this is unique in my circle as I think I have observed the opposite to you - in that most people in relationships around me are skewed towards either the woman doing most of it - or it being a 50:50 split.

My goal is to teach it to all my kids equally. So even my 5 year old boy is pretty much making banana bread and pancakes on his own these days - though I do oversee the oven bit just to be safe. But then again my 9 year old girl can wire a plug and fire a rifle - which the majority of men and women I know can not do these days either

Girlfriends...?

Deebles McBeebles · 27-01-2020 03:22PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

There's no denying the rugged rotundness of the body type that one only gets from a dedication to the Supermacs and pints lifestyle, gets the women going.

Accompanied by t-shirt stating, "Its not a beer belly, its a fuel tank for a sex machine".

Oranage2 · 27-01-2020 03:26PM

meeeeh wrote: »

I had almost no cooking skills before moving to Ireland at 25 and my now husband was a better cook. Due to work hours I do almost all cooking now and I am much better cook than him.

Cooking can be learned later in life and I think it's way more important to what variety of food and quality of food you were exposed as child than learning how to cook in childhood. I didn't know how to cook 20 years ago but I knew how good food should taste and I'm considered very good cook now by friends and family.

Edit: female almost 42, husband is same age

Sounds exactly like my wife, she didn't know how to cook and I used to do all the cooking. I changed jobs and she left her job to study part-time, a few youtube videos and now she's a better cook than me now too.

tscul32 · 27-01-2020 03:34PM

I learned to cook in home economics. My mam wasn't the best or most adventurous cook in the world so it wasnt long before i was cooking a couple of times a week. Met my husband who hadn't ever cooked too much (his mam wouldn't give up her kitchen) but he was interested at least. Fast forward 20 years and I cook Mon-Fri as I only work part time and he cooks at the weekend and is pretty good now. We share the Christmas dinner prep for the extended family (20 or so). Main thing we're working on though is our kids, all boys. 14yo doing home ec in school, not much interest but can do eggs, pancakes, bake, etc.. 12yo is amazing, did a Thai green curry for 15 people from scratch (including shopping for ingredients) completely by himself, when he was still 10. He's made yeast breads, cakes, canneloni, curries,etc.. And the just turned 8 yo cooks his own eggs for breakfast - i do insist on being in the room cos it's a gas hob, but he does it all himself. He also bakes with visual supervision only, and I take stuff out of the oven for him. But he's keen to learn more.
Despite my mam not being that interested, my and my sis and two bros all ended up well able to cook and my bros do the majority in their homes.
I don't think gender comes in to it, you're either interested or you're not. Just that years ago every female was explicitly taught but not so much any more.

realdanbreen · 27-01-2020 04:01PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

There's no denying the rugged rotundness of the body type that one only gets from a dedication to the Supermacs and pints lifestyle, gets the women going.

That's all fine and dandy until the guy going around with the wooden spoon and cookery book discovers that the woman doesn't want to sleep with him. I'm only trying to do a bit of relationship maintenance here!

Winning_Stroke · 27-01-2020 04:06PM

realdanbreen wrote: »

That's all fine and dandy until the guy going around with the wooden spoon and cookery book discovers that the woman doesn't want to sleep with him. I'm only trying to do a bit of relationship maintenance here!

Lookit I knew a lad once. He never cooked and eventually him and the wife fell into a routine about the time of dinner and what it would be depending on the day.

I remember once he flipped the lid when she served him egg and chips (reserved for Tuesdays) on a Thursday night. Then his missus ran off to Greece with a friend and fell in love with some waiter fella. My friend went out there after her and realised he was an asrse but tbh I don't fully recall how it ended up.

Actually no, that was Shirley Valentine. You got to see her boobs in it.

lucalux · 27-01-2020 04:09PM

[quote="Stateofyou;112367949". Growing up my mother only focused on my sister with regards to cooking, house stuff, etc. [/quote]

This was my experience growing up, the cooking and cleaning was seen as something women and girls did, while the men and boys got served by women, and they cleaned up after them too.

The best praise a girl got was you'll make a great wife someday.

Outdoor work (lawn cutting in summer months) was the role of the boys in the house. Except that would end up being done by the daughter too! Reasons given - sports comes first, they might injure themselves before a match ðŸ˜
We were kids in the 90's

RacoonQueen · 27-01-2020 04:09PM

tdf7187 wrote: »

Most of the best chefs are male.

They sure are. Cheffing is probably more of a male profession, we perceive it to be something women 'should' be good at because housewives did it, but, lets be honest, the kind of dinnners my mam cooked us growing up (some meat, carrots, at least two forms of potatoes + some form of green veg) was cooking and is very different to the sort of thing I throw together for myself now. Christmas day is literally the only day of the year I'd eat something like that.
An OK cook myself, more of a baker.

CrankyHaus · 27-01-2020 04:09PM

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Girlfriends...?

It's his lifestyle. He's discussed it on here before.

Have to say I love what my sister cooks anytime I'm round, and she enjoys dinner in mine. I don't think my brother can cook too save his life, while his GF certainly can. My GF has ambitions for cooking but the gra for it just isn't there, or the time given her job, so she doesn't do it enough to be great, though I still enjoy her meals.

Everyone's different.

realdanbreen · 27-01-2020 04:22PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Lookit I knew a lad once. He never cooked and eventually him and the wife fell into a routine about the time of dinner and what it would be depending on the day.

I remember once he flipped the lid when she served him egg and chips (reserved for Tuesdays) on a Thursday night. Then his missus ran off to Greece with a friend and fell in love with some waiter fella. My friend went out there after her and realised he was an asrse but tbh I don't fully recall how it ended up.

Actually no, that was Shirley Valentine. You got to see her boobs in it.

Giving the man Tuesdays egg & chips on a Thursday! What sort of hussey would do that.

Aongus Von Bismarck · 27-01-2020 04:37PM

My current partner is a solid, if unspectacular, cook. She enjoys cooking traditional and rustic German food which isn’t one of the world’s great cuisines.

I’m an exceptional chef though, and prepare meals that are as good as anything you’d be served in a one star Michelin restaurant. I also love cooking and find it extremely relaxing, so I tend to do the majority of the cooking.

Church on Tuesday · 27-01-2020 04:47PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Well... yes, but it does seem utterly disproportionate.

I don't think it was healthy for the imbalance in my Dad's generation (he can manage a crap fry) and I don't think it's healthy now.

That's the answer to your question.

realdanbreen · 27-01-2020 04:51PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

My current partner is a solid, if unspectacular, cook. She enjoys cooking traditional and rustic German food which isn’t one of the world’s great cuisines.

I’m an exceptional chef though, and prepare meals that are as good as anything you’d be served in a one star Michelin restaurant. I also love cooking and find it extremely relaxing, so I tend to do the majority of the cooking.

Well if your doing all the cooking I hope you have the missus out doing something useful.

poisonated · 27-01-2020 04:53PM

I eat out a lot.

GLaDOS · 27-01-2020 04:58PM

My girlfriend hates cooking. She can follow a recipe if necessary but has no passion or flair for it. Im the opposite, love cooking and tinkering with recipes. I do 95% of the cooking as a result but she does more of the cleaning so it evens out.

My dad is a better cook than my mam (though she is more then competent in fairness, my dad is just particularly good). My sister is very good as well and its through her I was introduced to it as a child.

Not sure about a gender inbalance, but there is a difference between being able to cook and enjoying it.

Gynoid · 27-01-2020 05:03PM

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Girlfriends...?

What! You didn't know? Impossible!!

When the children were young they had a huge interest in learning how to cook, and now they are all good cooks, with one lad veering towards the obsessive. It is easy to understand why children are fascinated by it because there is a magical alchemy in cooking. It is a lovely skill for anyone to have.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 27-01-2020 05:11PM

There’s usually a chief cook in most couples. I’m the chief cook in mine and was even when we were both working. I like cooking whereas my husband derives no pleasure from the process. Thinking of my wider circle, there’s no real trend towards one sex when it comes to the chief cook. It just depends.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 27-01-2020 05:14PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Well... yes, but it does seem utterly disproportionate.

I don't think it was healthy for the imbalance in my Dad's generation (he can manage a crap fry) and I don't think it's healthy now.

Not if the non-cook picks up the slack elsewhere.

Captain Flaps · 27-01-2020 05:15PM

Feisar wrote: »

When did you ever read a recipe that said:

Remove from the fridge for 20 mins
Beat/knead fillet so it's the same thickness throughout
Dry with kitchen paper
Season with salt and pepper
Pan smoking hot
Don't over crowd the pan

Maybe it's the cookbooks you're reading but when I'm following a recipe found online I get an explanation of how long I should leave the pan on the heat and what part of the world the author was visiting when the local shamen explained why that length of time was exactly the correct length of time to leave a pan on

Ash.J.Williams · 27-01-2020 05:16PM

lozenges wrote: »

I (29, female) can cook straightforward recipes no problem, just don't really have the inclination or enjoy cooking. My partner (31, male) on the other hand loves cooking, is really good at it and will happily spend hours cooking dinner.

Each to their own!

same here

johnnyskeleton · 27-01-2020 05:17PM

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Right, so I'm a man in the 30-35 age bracket and I've noticed something, and want boards opinions on the matter.

Is it just me, or (in general) are women my age really lacking in cooking abilities?

Id worry about anybody over the age of 30 that cant even cook a basic meal.

Muahahaha · 27-01-2020 05:19PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

My current partner is a solid, if unspectacular, cook. She enjoys cooking traditional and rustic German food which isn’t one of the world’s great cuisines.

I’m an exceptional chef though, and prepare meals that are as good as anything you’d be served in a one star Michelin restaurant. I also love cooking and find it extremely relaxing, so I tend to do the majority of the cooking.

What kind of Michelin quality dishes would you be cooking Aongus? Is it very time consuming? Been meaning to try it out myself

Gender imbalance in cooking ability

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