Gender imbalance in cooking ability

Winning_Stroke

Right, so I'm a man in the 30-35 age bracket and I've noticed something, and want boards opinions on the matter.

Is it just me, or (in general) are women my age really lacking in cooking abilities?

My wife cannot cook at all (I do it every day and she handles the cleaning), my younger sisters are incapable of doing anything bar a Goodfellas and even then that's a dicey operation, the vast majority of women acquaintances can't cook. Came up at the weekend with the lads and the overwhelming majority of them are the cooks of their house.

Is this in line with your experience? What happened?

As it turns out, I don't mind much as I really enjoy it. But I do worry at times.

lozenges

I (29, female) can cook straightforward recipes no problem, just don't really have the inclination or enjoy cooking. My partner (31, male) on the other hand loves cooking, is really good at it and will happily spend hours cooking dinner.

Each to their own!

Winning_Stroke

lozenges wrote: »

Each to their own!

Well... yes, but it does seem utterly disproportionate.

I don't think it was healthy for the imbalance in my Dad's generation (he can manage a crap fry) and I don't think it's healthy now.

begbysback

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Well... yes, but it does seem utterly disproportionate.

I don't think it was healthy for the imbalance in my Dad's generation (he can manage a crap fry) and I don't think it's healthy now.

Are studies even possible in such, I’d imagine it would be difficult to quantify ability to cook. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some truth to it given that women of the 60s, 70s and 80s where expected to fulfill the role of stay at home guardian, and this has greatly changed in recent decades.

Leg End Reject

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Well... yes, but it does seem utterly disproportionate.

I don't think it was healthy for the imbalance in my Dad's generation (he can manage a crap fry) and I don't think it's healthy now.

We should never have been allowed out of the kitchen, look where our notions of equality got us.

A lot of people don't have an interest in cooking, women are no longer expected to be just homemakers, so it stands to reason many won't bother if it doesn't interest them.

Interestingly, some men can be better in a lot of roles that were perceived to be "women's jobs - chef, hairdresser, makeup artist etc.

Winning_Stroke

Leg End Reject wrote: »

We should never have been allowed out of the kitchen, look where our notions of equality got us.

Yeah, definitely what I'm saying :rolleyes:

A lot of people don't have an interest in cooking, women are no longer expected to be just homemakers, so it stands to reason many won't bother if it doesn't interest them.

I don't particularly have an interest in driving, ironing or cleaning bathrooms, but these are tasks that most adults cannot get by in life without. You don't have to have a passion for something to be able to do it. Do you think all motorists dream of F1 glory?

FTA69

I've gone out with three women in my life and they've all been crap to diabolical at cooking. I think it's not related to gender so much though, rather the changing nature of work. Women used to do the vast majority of domestic tasks and as such skills such as cooking and cleaning used to be passed down and taught in the home. Nowadays everyone is working and doing long hours with changing shifts and there's far less time available for food shopping, preparation and cooking - people are increasingly knackered and stressed as well hence the explosion in ready meals and takeaways and Deliveroo etc.

I'm lucky I took an interest in cooking in my mid-teens and my mam set me on the road to it but it's definitely an issue. I live with people who are 29 years old and can't do the washing up properly.

Keyzer

I do all of the cooking in my house... and by cooking I mean not taking stuff out of the freezer and putting it into the oven.

I see this trend a lot with friends and family.

tdf7187

Most of the best chefs are male.

Leg End Reject

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Yeah, definitely what I'm saying :rolleyes:



I don't particularly have an interest in driving, ironing or cleaning bathrooms, but these are tasks that most adults cannot get by in life without. You don't have to have a passion for something to be able to do it. Do you think all motorists dream of F1 glory?

I didn't suggest you were implying that, it was an attempt at humour.

We all do things we don't enjoy, some people won't do everything they don't enjoy.

Look at the contents of other people's trolleys when you're shopping, some children grow up with convenience food and don't learn at home, others will just refuse to learn.

lozenges

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Yeah, definitely what I'm saying :rolleyes:



I don't particularly have an interest in driving, ironing or cleaning bathrooms, but these are tasks that most adults cannot get by in life without. You don't have to have a passion for something to be able to do it. Do you think all motorists dream of F1 glory?

Just to be clear, I said I can cook. I just don't particularly enjoy it. My partner does so it makes sense for him to do it. He hates cleaning so I do that.

Don't really understand what the issue with that is? If I was single tomorrow I wouldn't starve...

Feisar

Cooking is generally easy however one gripe I have with cookbooks is that while they give a recipe there is a lack of any attempt to teach skills. Example, if making a chicken fillet burgers, throw four chicken fillets onto a pan and you get a steamed mess.

When did you ever read a recipe that said:

Remove from the fridge for 20 mins
Beat/knead fillet so it's the same thickness throughout
Dry with kitchen paper
Season with salt and pepper
Pan smoking hot
Don't over crowd the pan

eviltwin

Unless it's your partner OP and they expect you to do all the cooking I don't see the problem. Both me and my other half cook.

I've just thought of couples I know and I reckon it's a near 50/50 split as to who is the primary/better cook.

If I was to sit down and give it serious thought (which I won't be) I reckon I'd get to about 60-40 split one way or the other. I certainly wouldn't be getting anywhere remotely close to an overwhelming majority.

Winning_Stroke

lozenges wrote: »

Don't really understand what the issue with that is? If I was single tomorrow I wouldn't starve...

Just wondering about the imbalance, was it just me etc.

When one of my aunts/old female relatives are going away (say to Loudres or the likes which happens a lot nowadays), it needs to be arranged for people to bring dinners to the left-behind husband

eviltwin wrote:

Unless it's your partner OP and they expect you to do all the cooking I don't see the problem

Look lads I'm just looking for a bit of chat and fun on the topic, I'm not proposing we march on the Dail about it.

nkl12xtw5goz70

There was no gender imbalance in our household because we were both terrible at it in equal measure.

But we started to take cooking more seriously and began making actual home-cooked meals from scratch. YouTube is your friend if you want to learn to cook. Find videos that focus on the basics and are not too fussy. Older kids can help in the kitchen by peeling potatoes, chopping, stirring, etc.

It takes more time but turns meal preparation into a nice communal activity that's fun and also gets kids involved so they won't have a phobia about cooking when they grow older.

JohnnyFlash

My harridan of an ex-wife was an outrageously bad cook. Which is funny as she was a very talented eater.

I suspect she was trying to poison me with her dreaded cottage pie at one stage.

RobertKK

Parents should have taught their children irrespective if they are male or female on how to cook, bake and prepare a meal. It is a basic thing needed in life. I don't think either sex has an excuse if they are unable to do a basic healthy meal. It is one of the basic and most important life skills. It is not rocket science to follow a recipe and it is easily taught.

Feisar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

My harridan of an ex-wife was an outrageously bad cook. Which is funny as she was a very talented eater.

I suspect she was trying to poison me with her dreaded cottage pie at one stage.

:D:D

Also thanks for the new word.

Feisar

RobertKK wrote: »

Parents should have taught their children irrespective if they are male or female on how to cook, bake and prepare a meal. It is a basic thing needed in life. I don't think either sex has an excuse if they are unable to do a basic healthy meal. It is one of the basic and most important life skills. It is not rocket science to follow a recipe and it is easily taught.

You should have seen some of the efforts I witnessed while in house shares.

is_that_so

A whole lot of adults don't seem to have learnt how to cook. While you could point to the traditional uselessness of the male, I reckon it's spread to a whole generation!

suicide_circus

with the internet in your pocket there is no excuse for not being able to cook. it's not like singing where some actual innate talent is required. if you can read and tell the time, you can cook.

suicide_circus

suicide_circus wrote: »

with the internet in your pocket there is no excuse for not being able to cook. it's not like singing where some actual innate talent is required. if you can read and tell the time, you can cook.

Feisar

is_that_so wrote: »

A whole lot of adults don't seem to have learnt how to cook. While you could point to the traditional uselessness of the male, I reckon it's spread to a whole generation!

You sound like a Drow!

Deebles McBeebles

Myself, well, I'm an impeccable cook. Or "Chef" as I make the ladies call me.

"Hows your steak, dearest?"
"Lovely."
"Excuse me?"
"Lovely, Chef."
"Better".

begbysback

is_that_so wrote: »

A whole lot of adults don't seem to have learnt how to cook. While you could point to the traditional uselessness of the male, I reckon it's spread to a whole generation!

Would have to disagree, with microwave ovens, air fryers and programmable multicookers it’s pretty difficult to go wrong.

topper75

Aren't we up there on the international take-away purchase table?
Can't quite recall what position. I wouldn't bother trying to genderise it.

is_that_so

Feisar wrote: »

You sound like a Drow!

Not sure that's a good or a bad thing!

lawred2

Leg End Reject wrote: »

We should never have been allowed out of the kitchen, look where our notions of equality got us.

:rolleyes:

chrissb8

"This meal is super easy and will take half an hour to prepare and cook!"

1.5 hours later.......

is_that_so

begbysback wrote: »

Would have to disagree, with microwave ovens, air fryers and programmable multicookers it’s pretty difficult to go wrong.

You still need to know what you're doing, especially in flavours!

meeeeh

I had almost no cooking skills before moving to Ireland at 25 and my now husband was a better cook. Due to work hours I do almost all cooking now and I am much better cook than him.

Cooking can be learned later in life and I think it's way more important to what variety of food and quality of food you were exposed as child than learning how to cook in childhood. I didn't know how to cook 20 years ago but I knew how good food should taste and I'm considered very good cook now by friends and family.

Edit: female almost 42, husband is same age

Boardnashea

In my family my wife does most of the day to day, I would tend to do the specials and our three youth members are all able to put a meal together (18,16 and 12). However, the boy, in the middle, is the more adventurous and confident in the kitchen.

NSAman

chrissb8 wrote: »

"This meal is super easy and will take half an hour to prepare and cook!"

1.5 hours later.......

Always amazes me that... it is simple. I can make a curry or sweet and sour from scratch (not out of a bottle) with nothing except natural ingredients in 30 minutes...(25 if I am rushing). It is quicker than they can deliver from the takeaway and much healthier.

I too, have noticed that the younger generation of women either cannot cook/dont want to cook and it is the guys that do most of it.

It amazes me that here in the States there is a massive week long cooking marathon before Thanksgiving with people (mostly women) getting stressed because people are coming over... last year I cooked for 20 took a few hours but was not exactly taxing. Herself cleaned up but is equally a good cook.

I cook mostly as I am in from work earlier....

Stateofyou

We share the duties fairly equally. Growing up my mother only focused on my sister with regards to cooking, house stuff, etc. When I took over "cooking" duties after my wife worked late hours, I'm embarrassed to say it started with pulling starters and packages of things from the freezer thrown together to make a meal. After almost 2 weeks of crap dinners and good food going off in the fridge my wife exploded on me, and too right in fairness. She pulled me up and said no one taught her how to cook but if she can follow a recipe and watch youtube so can I. She did go over some things with me, and now I have confidence (and cop on). We both have our specialties. She swears my porridge is best so I usually do Sat morning brekkie unless she's in the mood to do one of her savage fry ups. We both clean up but she refuses to clean up after I cook because somehow I destroy the place whereas she cleans as she goes. I'm working on that! I'd say as long as both partners try to divvy up however they see a fair split, that's the main thing.

realdanbreen

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Right, so I'm a man in the 30-35 age bracket and I've noticed something, and want boards opinions on the matter.

Is it just me, or (in general) are women my age really lacking in cooking abilities?

My wife cannot cook at all (I do it every day and she handles the cleaning), my younger sisters are incapable of doing anything bar a Goodfellas and even then that's a dicey operation, the vast majority of women acquaintances can't cook. Came up at the weekend with the lads and the overwhelming majority of them are the cooks of their house.

Is this in line with your experience? What happened?

As it turns out, I don't mind much as I really enjoy it. But I do worry at times.

Women are more attracted to real men who don't cook rather than some fella who is glued to the great British bake off!

Winning_Stroke

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Just wondering about the imbalance, was it just me etc.

Probably just you - my own relationship mirrors what you have observed. My girlfriends can not even cook an omelette or an oven pizza without something going wrong on them entirely. I think they can about make a tin of beans hot. I remember once they read "clove of garlic" in some recipe and thought it meant the entire bulb of garlic. That was an interesting result.

But this is unique in my circle as I think I have observed the opposite to you - in that most people in relationships around me are skewed towards either the woman doing most of it - or it being a 50:50 split.

My goal is to teach it to all my kids equally. So even my 5 year old boy is pretty much making banana bread and pancakes on his own these days - though I do oversee the oven bit just to be safe. But then again my 9 year old girl can wire a plug and fire a rifle - which the majority of men and women I know can not do these days either

Winning_Stroke

realdanbreen wrote: »

Women are more attracted to real men who don't cook rather than some fella who is glued to the great British bake off!

There's no denying the rugged rotundness of the body type that one only gets from a dedication to the Supermacs and pints lifestyle, gets the women going.

BeerWolf

Yeah no.

While one of my sisters can't cook if her life depended on it, the other two are great one more so.

Me. I like to think I'm better than them though, but that's debatable. But we all agree I make the best pasta dishes.

Woke Hogan

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Probably just you - my own relationship mirrors what you have observed. My girlfriends can not even cook an omelette or an oven pizza without something going wrong on them entirely. I think they can about make a tin of beans hot. I remember once they read "clove of garlic" in some recipe and thought it meant the entire bulb of garlic. That was an interesting result.

But this is unique in my circle as I think I have observed the opposite to you - in that most people in relationships around me are skewed towards either the woman doing most of it - or it being a 50:50 split.

My goal is to teach it to all my kids equally. So even my 5 year old boy is pretty much making banana bread and pancakes on his own these days - though I do oversee the oven bit just to be safe. But then again my 9 year old girl can wire a plug and fire a rifle - which the majority of men and women I know can not do these days either

Girlfriends...?

Deebles McBeebles

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

There's no denying the rugged rotundness of the body type that one only gets from a dedication to the Supermacs and pints lifestyle, gets the women going.

Accompanied by t-shirt stating, "Its not a beer belly, its a fuel tank for a sex machine".

Oranage2

meeeeh wrote: »

I had almost no cooking skills before moving to Ireland at 25 and my now husband was a better cook. Due to work hours I do almost all cooking now and I am much better cook than him.

Cooking can be learned later in life and I think it's way more important to what variety of food and quality of food you were exposed as child than learning how to cook in childhood. I didn't know how to cook 20 years ago but I knew how good food should taste and I'm considered very good cook now by friends and family.

Edit: female almost 42, husband is same age

Sounds exactly like my wife, she didn't know how to cook and I used to do all the cooking. I changed jobs and she left her job to study part-time, a few youtube videos and now she's a better cook than me now too.

tscul32

I learned to cook in home economics. My mam wasn't the best or most adventurous cook in the world so it wasnt long before i was cooking a couple of times a week. Met my husband who hadn't ever cooked too much (his mam wouldn't give up her kitchen) but he was interested at least. Fast forward 20 years and I cook Mon-Fri as I only work part time and he cooks at the weekend and is pretty good now. We share the Christmas dinner prep for the extended family (20 or so). Main thing we're working on though is our kids, all boys. 14yo doing home ec in school, not much interest but can do eggs, pancakes, bake, etc.. 12yo is amazing, did a Thai green curry for 15 people from scratch (including shopping for ingredients) completely by himself, when he was still 10. He's made yeast breads, cakes, canneloni, curries,etc.. And the just turned 8 yo cooks his own eggs for breakfast - i do insist on being in the room cos it's a gas hob, but he does it all himself. He also bakes with visual supervision only, and I take stuff out of the oven for him. But he's keen to learn more.
Despite my mam not being that interested, my and my sis and two bros all ended up well able to cook and my bros do the majority in their homes.
I don't think gender comes in to it, you're either interested or you're not. Just that years ago every female was explicitly taught but not so much any more.

realdanbreen

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

There's no denying the rugged rotundness of the body type that one only gets from a dedication to the Supermacs and pints lifestyle, gets the women going.

That's all fine and dandy until the guy going around with the wooden spoon and cookery book discovers that the woman doesn't want to sleep with him. I'm only trying to do a bit of relationship maintenance here!

Winning_Stroke

realdanbreen wrote: »

That's all fine and dandy until the guy going around with the wooden spoon and cookery book discovers that the woman doesn't want to sleep with him. I'm only trying to do a bit of relationship maintenance here!

Lookit I knew a lad once. He never cooked and eventually him and the wife fell into a routine about the time of dinner and what it would be depending on the day.

I remember once he flipped the lid when she served him egg and chips (reserved for Tuesdays) on a Thursday night. Then his missus ran off to Greece with a friend and fell in love with some waiter fella. My friend went out there after her and realised he was an asrse but tbh I don't fully recall how it ended up.

Actually no, that was Shirley Valentine. You got to see her boobs in it.

lucalux

[quote="Stateofyou;112367949". Growing up my mother only focused on my sister with regards to cooking, house stuff, etc. [/quote]

This was my experience growing up, the cooking and cleaning was seen as something women and girls did, while the men and boys got served by women, and they cleaned up after them too.

The best praise a girl got was you'll make a great wife someday.

Outdoor work (lawn cutting in summer months) was the role of the boys in the house. Except that would end up being done by the daughter too! Reasons given - sports comes first, they might injure themselves before a match ðŸ˜
We were kids in the 90's

RacoonQueen

tdf7187 wrote: »

Most of the best chefs are male.

They sure are. Cheffing is probably more of a male profession, we perceive it to be something women 'should' be good at because housewives did it, but, lets be honest, the kind of dinnners my mam cooked us growing up (some meat, carrots, at least two forms of potatoes + some form of green veg) was cooking and is very different to the sort of thing I throw together for myself now. Christmas day is literally the only day of the year I'd eat something like that.
An OK cook myself, more of a baker.

CrankyHaus

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Girlfriends...?

It's his lifestyle. He's discussed it on here before.

Have to say I love what my sister cooks anytime I'm round, and she enjoys dinner in mine. I don't think my brother can cook too save his life, while his GF certainly can. My GF has ambitions for cooking but the gra for it just isn't there, or the time given her job, so she doesn't do it enough to be great, though I still enjoy her meals.

Everyone's different.

realdanbreen

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Lookit I knew a lad once. He never cooked and eventually him and the wife fell into a routine about the time of dinner and what it would be depending on the day.

I remember once he flipped the lid when she served him egg and chips (reserved for Tuesdays) on a Thursday night. Then his missus ran off to Greece with a friend and fell in love with some waiter fella. My friend went out there after her and realised he was an asrse but tbh I don't fully recall how it ended up.

Actually no, that was Shirley Valentine. You got to see her boobs in it.

Giving the man Tuesdays egg & chips on a Thursday! What sort of hussey would do that.

Aongus Von Bismarck

My current partner is a solid, if unspectacular, cook. She enjoys cooking traditional and rustic German food which isn’t one of the world’s great cuisines.

I’m an exceptional chef though, and prepare meals that are as good as anything you’d be served in a one star Michelin restaurant. I also love cooking and find it extremely relaxing, so I tend to do the majority of the cooking.

Church on Tuesday

Winning_Stroke wrote: »

Well... yes, but it does seem utterly disproportionate.

I don't think it was healthy for the imbalance in my Dad's generation (he can manage a crap fry) and I don't think it's healthy now.

That's the answer to your question.