Reading too much into nothing? Or...

LegacyUser · 21-01-2020 04:45PM #1

Hey Guys,

So I've been seeing a lovely guy for 6 months now and things are going really well. When we first got together we were having a few drinks one evening and he mentioned that his ex (they broke up last January) had really hurt him. We were talking about past loves and is it better to have loved and lost. We both agreed it was but that it doesn't feel like it at the time.
He told me she was really into a certain sport and that it took up a lot of her time. They were supposed to move in together but she ended up getting her own place and he knew that was the end.
Anyway, he very vehemently said - she's gonna regret that sport so much. I remember at the time noting how bitter he seemed but as we were only a few dates in, I didn't think much more of it. The area she bought the house is not in Dublin, let's just say it's in Meath. One day I was saying I have to go to Meath for work and he said, again with real venom - I f*ckin hate Meath so much and will never set foot in Meath. I found this odd but then remembered the conversation about his ex buying there.

Just the other day, we were having breakfast and he said - do you find people posting about houses they just renovated on instragram vulgar? I don't have instagram and couldn't care less what anybody posts but he went on a rant about how it's obnoxious and rubbing it in people's faces and how he's gonna delete his instagram account.
I found this very random but then thought, oh maybe the ex posted about renovating the house she bought.

Does it sound like I'm finding flaws/self sabotaging or does it sound like he's not over his ex?
She comes from a wealthy background too and I guess I feel a bit inferior like he wishes he was still with her.

Aside from that things between us are great, we laugh alot and have alot of fun and the chemistry/sex is amazing.

Thanks guys for any insights.

LegacyUser · 21-01-2020 06:18PM

He's still hung up on his ex

Jurgen Klopp · 21-01-2020 06:46PM

God he's really really not over her by the sounds of it.

Like I understand some people can be over an ex but not like them and give out

But the "she's gonna regret that sport" seems more of a "she'll regret it cause she dumped me for it"

Then the "I ****in hate Meath I'll never set foot there" is just too much.

I'd really be having a serious think on this fella

LegacyUser · 21-01-2020 06:49PM

Haven't you posted a few times about this guy already? Talking dirty and tuxedo nights out etc? I mean a relationship shouldnt be making you this paranoid, it sounds like something is totally off.

Faith · 21-01-2020 07:07PM

OP, have you posted about this guy before? Your style of writing and the details are very similar, and of course you’re entitled to post more than once, but I think you may need to ask yourself - do I really want to be in a relationship with someone who makes me so insecure and unsure of myself that I end up asking strangers on the internet for advice on a near-monthly basis? I think most of us would agree that that isn’t a sound basis for a relationship.

LegacyUser · 21-01-2020 07:07PM

Jurgen Klopp wrote: »

God he's really really not over her by the sounds of it.

Like I understand some people can be over an ex but not like them and give out

But the "she's gonna regret that sport" seems more of a "she'll regret it cause she dumped me for it"

Then the "I ****in hate Meath I'll never set foot there" is just too much.

I'd really be having a serious think on this fella

Second this all the way. He's very clearly not over her if he is talking about her like that. I'd say she dodged a bullet from the sounds of him. You might want to dodge it yourself!

28-01-2020 01:48AM

He might just be mad at her for how it went rather than still being into her.

lunamoon · 28-01-2020 01:12PM

Bit extreme for him to say he'd never step foot in Meath again but sounds like he's still very hung up on his ex. I don't know what the context of your other threads are but only 6 months in he sounds like a bit of a head wreck.

Neyite · 28-01-2020 05:07PM

Mod:
Time to Shine, gender generalisations are against the charter.

PI is an advice forum where you are expected to be civil to the OP and to others and stick to giving constructive advice.

Post deleted.

Emme · 28-01-2020 05:49PM

He is clearly not over his ex. Do you want to be his second best? If not then run.

redfox123 · 29-01-2020 05:32PM

How long since they broke up? It all sounds very fresh in his mind that he’s even talking about her even if it sounds hateful, fact is he shouldn’t even be mentioning her at all to you. If they broke up in less than 6 months or so before you met he is definitely not over it, and if it’s longer than that it’s pretty weird that he stills hates her, that s**t would freak me out big time.

Murdoc90 · 30-01-2020 05:13PM

Sounds like he's just angry at her. But odd way to behave especially in front of/to you. Red flag.

AckwelFoley · 30-01-2020 08:24PM

He sounds immature and a bit cut up about her.

There are reasons not to like certain places and certain social media sites bit hes linking them directly to her.

I dont think you're reading too much into it at all to be honest

joeguevara · 31-01-2020 06:20AM

From your post about the house renovation you don’t know if it has anything to do with his ex so you’re speculating.

When people talk about their exes to knew partners they may want to show that they have no interest and may come across as overboard.

If other than the few things you mentioned everything is good then forget it. If it’s constant, discuss and if it continues make a decision.

Reading too much into nothing? Or...

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