Is socializing largely a waste of time?

YFlyer · 15-01-2020 09:43PM

Dr. Bre wrote: »

What happens if your married? No bonus points?

Lol.

Jurgen Klopp · 15-01-2020 09:47PM

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Is living a waste of time? Probably, so just enjoy it/ Do whatever you want to do always and await your punishment.

Sacred heart you're still alive Ted, many a gas moment you gave us.

I'll never forget your removing the head phones of a strange woman to ask if she was ok and she lost the plot at you

Church on Tuesday · 15-01-2020 09:54PM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

He was always reading a book during lunch and rarely spoke.

A good use of one's lunch time if you ask me.

riclad · 15-01-2020 09:57PM

If you want to make friends you need to go out,
also you may want to meet a future spouse.
Your friends will disappear if you stop going out and meeting them ,its not
much fun going out by yourself.
Theres a balance to be found,
i dont think its a good thing to be going out every night or just going to the pub every night.
Its hard to make friends or meet someone without going out
just because you have a nice house with sky tv, and an xbox, ps4
does not mean you should not go out.
i listen to a podcast,
theres a bloke on it, he has a good job, but he gets up at 7am,
comes back home to his wife and kids at 7pm.
he does not have much time to go out apart from the weekend.
Many people in tech companys work very long hours,
it can be hard to make time to go out .

Tomazzi · 15-01-2020 10:01PM

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

How you know what's in his bank account?

Average mind miss Roosevelt. :pac::pac::pac:

pauliebdub · 15-01-2020 10:04PM

Honestly it's one of life's pleasures. I sit in an office all day full of people who don't talk or have very little to say. Being out and about having a laugh with my friends and others that I have something in common with is something that I look forward to a lot.

15-01-2020 10:04PM

OP spewing through his posterior as per usual. In the local having a chinwag with the regulars. A sup and a genial debate. Lighten the burdens of life, simplicity itself. Does wonders for the psyche, socialising. Those who say anything to the contrary are either indestructible or hopelessly deluded.

Hego Damask · 15-01-2020 10:07PM

Seems weird that he would tell you what's in his bank account ? like he's trying to proove something ?
and you don't really know where he got the money from - could have been handed to him from rich Daddy, there is a lot of that nowadays.

But on the other hand it looks like he did well in school and is doing well in college - plus the job lined up ...

Good for him ...

Hego Damask · 15-01-2020 10:10PM

pauliebdub wrote: »

Honestly it's one of life's pleasures. I sit in an office all day full of people who don't talk or have very little to say. Being out and about having a laugh with my friends and others that I have something in common with is something that I look forward to a lot.

Nothing beats some pints

El_Duderino 09 · 15-01-2020 10:15PM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

He was always reading a book during lunch and rarely spoke.

Maybe he didn’t have great social skills.

Socialising isn’t a waste of time. It would be foolish to socialise to the exclusion of other things like working on career prospects. Socialising is fun, gets you to hear other people’s ideas, friends offer each other support when they need it, they prop each other up and make each other feel good about themselves. Socialising is great.

Nights out aren’t the only ways to socialise. Doing things like walking, going to matches, do volunteer work, go to bingo with people if that’s what you’re into.

Lots of people are successful and are good fun to be around.

Motivator · 15-01-2020 10:34PM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Before you kill me with comments, I'm talking about socializing when it comes to nights out, football, etc..

I remember back in 3rd year in 2013, there was this kid who sat next to me that I pitied. He looked weird, wasn't awkward but quiet and worked hard. Never went to any nights out in TY or drank much alcohol. When he socialized, he talked with the smart Chinese students. I pitied him for not taking a break.

Fast forward to 2020 and this guy who graduated the same year as me has nearly €10k in his bank account, did a computer science internship in UCD that got him to Silicone Valley and is thinking of working for a year in America.

Better than most lads in my school who graduated and especially me.

Now people will be screaming that "socialization is important for getting jobs" but I'm not talking about that kind of socialization. I mean "nonsense socialization" where you go out to the pub/nightclub and talk rubbish or gossip about people.

There's a good quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I thank that guy perfectly illustrates that.

To counter this, some of the most successful lads I know were the biggest messers, drinkers, drug users and rode everything that moved when they were in school and college. One of them especially was just a naturally intelligent fella who scraped by in school and for the first couple of years in college. We then went on work placement in 3rd year and he got himself together.

He’s now working for a massive multi-national and is over and back to New York every month on expenses and a massive salary. He’s still a messer, a drinker and is still riding all around him but he hasn’t touched a drug in years (so he says). He hasn’t turned out all that bad.

I was somewhere in the middle, not thick but not overly intelligent and I thought things would just work out for me. They didn’t, I had to go the long way around and years doing it to get a job that pays some way decent. I also became very withdrawn after college when I saw others doing well for themselves and I found myself becoming less and less involved in the socialising because I was jealous/embarrassed that others were doing well and I wasn’t. I went through a terrible time in my mid 20s. It’s only now in the last couple of years that I’ve come back around again. I got married, I bought a house and I settled down but I massively regret not socialising more in my younger years and my mid 20s.

Greyfox · 15-01-2020 10:40PM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Before you kill me with comments, I'm talking about socializing when it comes to nights out, football, etc..

If you don't socialise often then your wasting your life, having the craic with friends and family is the most underratted thing in the world

15-01-2020 11:16PM

As a youngster in London I was too tired from working to get into the boozing when I was a teenager. Got to see that lads a bit older than me were blowing huge sums on socialising and they were missing a chance to make something of the hard work they were doing. Avoided booze myself and as a result saved a lot of cash and started my own business. Was quite an earnest fella, still stayed away from the excessive boozing common on the London Irish scene, and as a result the business was a massive success very quickly.
No doubt I wouldn’t have had the success if I had been out in the dancehalls and bars of Kilburn a few nights a week.
That said there is definitely a big place for socialising especially when young and single. Just keep it in perspective and don’t let booze or drugs become a big part of your life.

Edgware · 16-01-2020 09:08AM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

He told me. Now he seems quite narcissistic and flaunts his wealth along with his girlfriend.

Probably enjoys having got the better of the losers who laughed at him.

Plopsu · 16-01-2020 09:35AM

So he worked hard and succeeded but didn't like hanging out with the same people as you? It's almost like a parable.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 16-01-2020 09:54AM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Is socializing largely a waste of time?

Of course it is... but then life, depending on your perspective, is just one giant exercise in how best to kill time!

Some people like a few pints or some heroin... other people waste their time trying to save the planet or cure cancer etc...

It's all just different methods - some more complicated and elaborate than others - to prevent boredom!

I mean, lets take doctors as one example... a very serious and vital profession, most will agree right? And a very worthwhile way to spend your life, right? Helping sick people... what could be more noble and important, right? RIGHT?

So what would happen if we woke up tomorrow and there was no such thing as doctors or medicine or hospitals? People would die, right? Well people already die anyway, regardless... and animals die in the wild all the time... most do not have medicine or doctors to fall back on... if they get sick or injured, that's all she wrote unfortunately... game over! But it doesn't change the game one bit...

In fact, there is a bigger argument that something like doctors and modern medicine are actually artificially skewing the game of life, by keeping people alive who probably should not be alive... there by messing with one of the fundamental laws of nature and also bloating the human population to unsustainable numbers... (and we all know the consequences of that little conundrum)

What's my point...? Even the things we are conditioned to think are vital and super important... are they? Life would continue without doctors or modern medicine... the world would look very different and people would live a lot more differently without such a big safety net... but perhaps people might be happier if we lived with a stronger sense of our own mortality? Life might be more exciting and less mundane!? (more of a side point - but anyway)

Beyond basic survival... almost everything else is just something we invented out of boredom and then conditioned everyone to believe it was vital to our existence (and happiness)...

It's all just a big web of lies basically... but most are so deep into the game, that it has ceased to even resemble a game to them. It's serious business! But then the game relies on enough people taking it seriously... otherwise all these vital components would unravel very quickly!

16-01-2020 10:50AM

Blake Narrow Yacht wrote: »

Here's the envy again.

He got the balance right. He obviously did/does socialise if he has a girlfriend. He just didn't act the waster while in secondary school. He clearly got his priorities right.

So he never talked to anyone in college, and is now flaunting his "success" like an asshole? Doesn't sound balanced to me.

topper75 · 16-01-2020 11:28AM

If I pursue financial wealth, it is only ever to facilitate more opportunity to socialize and enjoy life.

What is this guy at? Could he be 'wasting time'?

CrankyHaus · 16-01-2020 11:41AM

Honestly, do what you enjoy and have an affinity for.

The types that socialize like mad and are successful off it are the types that couldn't stand still. I knew a few, one in particular, overachiever but on the lash and hobnobbing any night when not achieving. It impressed me until I realised he couldn't just sit in with a book and relax.

On the other end of the scale the quiet type that doesn't seek out others company would hate to be out backslapping and laughing at rubbish jokes.

Nether of them envy the others life and I wouldn't envy eithers.

jimgoose · 16-01-2020 11:48AM

Smart kid enjoys company of other smart kids, eschews company of other smelly little maladjusted dumbasses - Film at 11. Be nice to the nerds - you'll either end up working for one, or sitting in a cage flinging your own dung at tourists.

Maryanne C Willis · 16-01-2020 12:10PM

Honestly, do what you enjoy and have an affinity for.

chrissb8 · 16-01-2020 01:09PM

Some people just aren't fussed with the social aspect of school. Doesn't meant they're not social they're just not fussed with the weird hierarchial system that permeates most schools. Who's cool, who do you hang out with, Events you have to go to or suffer social castration.

I always admired those who were above it and wish I had done the same myself. I knew one guy the exact same, just saw school as a functional thing to get him to where he needed to be next. As soon as he got to college his social life exploded and he very much became his own person.

Being social in general is important. Most will regal you of memories of times gone by with friends or family. Yes they may be successful in their jobs etc. That may be something you are proud of and will look back on with fondness. As you should but most people value their times spent with others.

That's a big thread in the fabric of what makes life genuinely good. A shared joke going back years with a good friend.....ludicrous stories from a trip away.....a kiss at the end of what you thought was going to be a quiet one but turned into one of the best nights ever. Just small examples, but the stuff that pops into your memory years later and puts a smile on your face or causes you to laugh out of nowhere.

All the best things in life, for me anyway, happen with people. If anything Socialising is one of the most, if not important things, too many people push people to the side and find out years later what they've missed out on.

I understand you need to be away from people sometimes if not for your mental well being, sense of self or just needing to concentrate on something important at that time. But never forever. Socialising and being social to some degree is essential to a good life. You don't have to be a socialiate, but having a few people around makes all the difference.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 16-01-2020 01:10PM

Deleted User wrote: »

So he never talked to anyone in college, and is now flaunting his "success" like an asshole? Doesn't sound balanced to me.

Socialising and being successful aren't mutually exclusive, they are complementary. Someone with poor social skills will find it hard to succeed in corporate America. Maybe pulling 70+ hour weeks as a coder in Silicon Valley and paying 5 grand a month for a house share is success in his eyes - but you need a 200k salary there to live like a normal person here.

You are taking the OP's perception of the chap as accurate. This is from someone with envy for anybody mildly successful and looks for any excuse for his shortcomings that don't involve his taking any responsibility nor action to remedy.

Antares35 · 16-01-2020 01:16PM

Not everyone drank in transition year. I didn't really drink until I started college.

Personally, I had a few (4 or 5) close-ish friends that I hung around with at school and we would occasionally got to the cinema on a Saturday or whatever. But aside from that, I had no desire to spend my free time socialising with the elitist bints who attended the all girls school I was in. Never looked back and never kept in touch with them. There's more to life than the people you meet in school.

16-01-2020 02:21PM

Blake Narrow Yacht wrote: »

You are taking the OP's perception of the chap as accurate. This is from someone with envy for anybody mildly successful and looks for any excuse for his shortcomings that don't involve his taking any responsibility nor action to remedy.

Fair enough I've no idea of the OPs post history

PoisonIvyBelle · 16-01-2020 03:19PM

If you enjoy socializing, it isn't a waste of time.
If you don't enjoy it and you're just doing it because you think you have to, it probably is a waste of time.
Some people just aren't the social or they're more selective about who they spend their time with an how much time they're willing to invest in those relationships. Other people thrive on being social. There's no right answer here.

You're coming across a bit bitter though TBH.

beejee · 16-01-2020 03:35PM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

He told me. Now he seems quite narcissistic and flaunts his wealth along with his girlfriend.

How do you "flaunt" the wealth of 10 grand?

wakka12 · 16-01-2020 03:40PM

Socialising is important for maintenance of both physical and mental health

Woke Hogan · 16-01-2020 03:49PM

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Before you kill me with comments, I'm talking about socializing when it comes to nights out, football, etc..

I remember back in 3rd year in 2013, there was this kid who sat next to me that I pitied. He looked weird, wasn't awkward but quiet and worked hard. Never went to any nights out in TY or drank much alcohol. When he socialized, he talked with the smart Chinese students. I pitied him for not taking a break.

Fast forward to 2020 and this guy who graduated the same year as me has nearly €10k in his bank account, did a computer science internship in UCD that got him to Silicone Valley and is thinking of working for a year in America.

Better than most lads in my school who graduated and especially me.

Now people will be screaming that "socialization is important for getting jobs" but I'm not talking about that kind of socialization. I mean "nonsense socialization" where you go out to the pub/nightclub and talk rubbish or gossip about people.

There's a good quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I thank that guy perfectly illustrates that.

You're discussing a person.

Feisar · 16-01-2020 05:22PM

OP reads like some sort of American coming of age teen film.

Is socializing largely a waste of time?

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