I just had a dream where my girlfriend made me pay to boink her...

bo0li5eumx12kp · 05-01-2020 09:25AM #1

I like films about depravity and nastiness - Casino, 8 mm, Pain and Gain etc, but LAWD, they must be going to my head recently cause, now that genre seems to have invaded my dream space.

In all honesty, I woke up at the dream-crescendo and, I'm not sure if it was among the most devastating dreams I've ever had, or the most awesome.

Either way, definitely one of the most NASTY!!.

I've hooked up with this gal socially on and off for a while, and she's horny as hell so I normally gets my rocks off pretty good.

But get this - dreamstate now - we're at, a wedding.
Holy.
Sacrimonious.
Purity.
The color white is the main feature.

She's a guest of the other side of the family or some sh1t.

Long story short, we end up hooking up and get a quick boink on.
Wake up the next morning and she's saying, "okay I gotta go" but I'm like, "nuh we need to get sticky real quick first".

So we enter into negotiations and she agrees to give me half and half, which I somehow agree to pay for.

The first half was great, but moving into second half territory I'm taking it nice and slow, really getting my jollies, when next thing she gives is, "OKAY FINISH - DON'T TOUCH MORE!!", and irately shoves me off.

I'm like, "wut?" - as I thought I was giving her a real pleasuring....

Apparently not.

But I was still real horny, so I went into the hotel bathroom and shot my load into a toilet bowl - lol.

Then I came out and everyone was stood in the lobby waiting for me; next thing some other guest approaches me and challenges me to a wrestling match right there in front of all the entire wedding reception....

....

Moral of the story being either, gals with whom I hook up with most frequently were either hookers in another life, or I really need to step my game up to a higher glass of gal.

jay1988 · 05-01-2020 09:28AM

Angie Helpful Lady wrote: »

I like films about depravity and nastiness - Casino, 8 mm, Pain and Gain etc, but LAWD, they must be going to my head recently cause, now that genre seems to have invaded my dream space.

In all honesty, I woke up at the dream-crescendo and, I'm not sure if it was among the most devastating dreams I've ever had, or the most awesome.

Either way, definitely one of the most NASTY!!.

I've hooked up with this gal socially on and off for a while, and she's horny as hell so I normally gets my rocks off pretty good.

But get this - dreamstate now - we're at, a wedding.
Holy.
Sacrimonious.
Purity.
The color white is the main feature.

She's a guest of the other side of the family or some sh1t.

Long story short, we end up hooking up and get a quick boink on.
Wake up the next morning and she's saying, "okay I gotta go" but I'm like, "nuh we need to get sticky real quick first".

So we enter into negotiations and she agrees to give me half and half, which I somehow agree to pay for.

The first half was great, but moving into second half territory I'm taking it nice and slow, really getting my jollies, when next thing she gives is, "OKAY FINISH - DON'T TOUCH MORE!!", and irately shoves me off.

I'm like, "wut?" - as I thought I was giving her a real pleasuring....

Apparently not.

But I was still real horny, so I went into the hotel bathroom and shot my load into a toilet bowl - lol.

Then I came out and everyone was stood in the lobby waiting for me; next thing some other guest approaches me and challenges me to a wrestling match right there in front of all the entire wedding reception....

....

Moral of the story being either, gals with whom I hook up with most frequently were either hookers in another life, or I really need to step my game up to a higher glass of gal.

Some people are really desperate for attention, it's quite sad really.

corner of hells · 05-01-2020 09:30AM

Angie Helpful Lady wrote: »

I like films about depravity and nastiness - Casino, 8 mm, Pain and Gain etc, but LAWD, they must be going to my head recently cause, now that genre seems to have invaded my dream space.

In all honesty, I woke up at the dream-crescendo and, I'm not sure if it was among the most devastating dreams I've ever had, or the most awesome.

Either way, definitely one of the most NASTY!!.

I've hooked up with this gal socially on and off for a while, and she's horny as hell so I normally gets my rocks off pretty good.

But get this - dreamstate now - we're at, a wedding.
Holy.
Sacrimonious.
Purity.
The color white is the main feature.

She's a guest of the other side of the family or some sh1t.

Long story short, we end up hooking up and get a quick boink on.
Wake up the next morning and she's saying, "okay I gotta go" but I'm like, "nuh we need to get sticky real quick first".

So we enter into negotiations and she agrees to give me half and half, which I somehow agree to pay for.

The first half was great, but moving into second half territory I'm taking it nice and slow, really getting my jollies, when next thing she gives is, "OKAY FINISH - DON'T TOUCH MORE!!", and irately shoves me off.

I'm like, "wut?" - as I thought I was giving her a real pleasuring....

Apparently not.

But I was still real horny, so I went into the hotel bathroom and shot my load into a toilet bowl - lol.

Then I came out and everyone was stood in the lobby waiting for me; next thing some other guest approaches me and challenges me to a wrestling match right there in front of all the entire wedding reception....

....

Moral of the story being either, gals with whom I hook up with most frequently were either hookers in another life, or I really need to step my game up to a higher glass of gal.

This is what happens when Transition year students sniff tippex.

Shefwedfan · 05-01-2020 09:39AM

It’s nice when you see a virgin have a sex dream

The White Wolf · 05-01-2020 09:44AM

Boink....shudder.

Conor Bourke · 05-01-2020 09:45AM

Who the hell says “boink”

Orderofchaos · 05-01-2020 09:45AM

Angie Helpful Lady wrote: »

we end up hooking up and get a QUICK boink on.

Keep practicing with the toilet bowl.

Ted_YNWA · 05-01-2020 09:54AM

......

Some might say that you're a dreamer,

And I'm not the only one.

Irishphotodesk · 05-01-2020 09:57AM

Films about depravity and nastiness .. I thought pain and gain is a comedy.

Whatever about the rest of the story, you had a dirty dream and decided to tell the internet, learn a life lesson from this, do NOT post anything online that you wouldn't say loudly to your parents in a restaurant.

The same advice goes for all social media, Facebook etc, don't post it unless you are happy to do the same to your parents.... please remember this advice when you are thinking about or even asked by some internet stranger to send a d1ck pic, no one wants to see a d1ck pic, especially some random internet person.

lawred2 · 05-01-2020 09:58AM

Just shut up

Optimalprimerib · 05-01-2020 09:58AM

Here's a fact, other people's dreams are the most boring thing in the world to listen to, despite how interesting you may think it is.

Johnny Sausage · 05-01-2020 09:59AM

Would have to be a dream for you to have a girlfriend

You absolute neckbearded incel

Shefwedfan · 05-01-2020 09:59AM

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

Here's a fact, other people's dreams are the most boring thing in the world to listen to, despite how interesting you may think it is.

Especially made up ones

05-01-2020 10:03AM

Did you wake up in a puddle of your own population paste?

05-01-2020 10:04AM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

Who the hell says “boink”

He probably thinks that’s the noise it makes. Fact is, if this chap saw a vagina he’d try to sew it up.

The White Wolf · 05-01-2020 10:04AM

Johnny Sausage wrote: »

Would have to be a dream for you to have a girlfriend

You absolute neckbearded incel

Ah Johnny, Johnny...no need to be bringing your American vocabulary in here. Just call him a virgin.

Wibbs · 05-01-2020 10:16AM

Omackeral wrote: »

population paste

:pac:

blade1 · 05-01-2020 10:19AM

The White Wolf wrote: »

Boink....shudder.

It's what porcine members call a ride

Bishop of hope · 05-01-2020 10:20AM

Some of the world's greatest inspirational speeches were about dreams the speakers had................................ Just saying!

AndyBoBandy · 05-01-2020 10:22AM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

Who the hell says “boink”

14 year old boys who, if there was an Olympics for pulling the stomach out of themselves, would be regular contenders for all the medals on offer.

jim salter · 05-01-2020 10:23AM

OP, you're an absolute fool.

Why not take a break from the internet.....

.....forever

Conor Bourke · 05-01-2020 10:45AM

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

14 year old boys who, if there was an Olympics for pulling the stomach out of themselves, would be regular contenders for all the medals on offer.

It’s like a word that you’d only ever see in a salacious Red Top story. That and “romp”. What self respecting person actually uses that word to describe sex?!

Tired Gardener · 05-01-2020 10:47AM

Well after reading that word salad my life sure does feel enhanced, who doesn't want to read the wet dreams of the sexual frustrated?

Glad there is an ignore function, as OP has just won the honour of being added to it.

Johnny Sausage · 05-01-2020 10:51AM

The White Wolf wrote: »

Ah Johnny, Johnny...no need to be bringing your American vocabulary in here. Just call him a virgin.

Sorry Wolfy

LaptopVirgin would be a much more appropriate username for him name in fainreess

nullzero · 05-01-2020 10:54AM

I've heard she charges everyone else so why would you be any different OP?

DelBoy Trotter · 05-01-2020 11:00AM

Gave up reading when the word “LAWD” was used. What utter tripe!

AndyBoBandy · 05-01-2020 11:05AM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

What self respecting person actually uses that word to describe sex?!

People who’ve never actually had sex yet.

Dr. Bre · 05-01-2020 11:12AM

Cool story bro

bo0li5eumx12kp · 06-01-2020 08:55AM

To be fair though, this topic does provide a nice segway to something that had been in consideration for myself at times in the past.

In relationships, getting sticky is not always on the table.

Hell I spent years listening to my old man begging my old woman for it on a variety of occasions, so I know how it is.

Women become aroused differently to men - what I'm saying is - a little cash incentive, perhaps?

Would that be a ludicrous notion?

That way this sense of fidelity can be maintained, your woman comes away with - just a little more cash to throw around, not too much, just a little - and horny dudes (like me), can get their unloading on and everyone goes home a winner.

AmIRite??

spurious · 06-01-2020 09:04AM

I'm getting the sense you don't like women much. Afraid to say that will have to change or there will be no boinking, paid or unpaid. Your posts are actually a little bit disturbing.

Sardonicat · 06-01-2020 09:05AM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

Who the hell says “boink”

Someone who can't bring themselves to say fcuk.

I just had a dream where my girlfriend made me pay to boink her...

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