How long were you with your partner before getting engaged

themouthpiece · 31-12-2019 3:52am #1

Just a curiosity and the age involved as well. To be honest I'd be half afraid of divorce or getting sick of the missus after a few years and the legal implications if we ever got divorced. That's just my personality so no insults please.

I know marriage is not for me so will never get married.

Optimalprimerib · 31-12-2019 4:10am

themouthpiece wrote: »

Just a curiosity and the age involved as well. To be honest I'd be half afraid of divorce or getting sick of the missus after a few years and the legal implications if we ever got divorced. That's just my personality so no insults please.

I know marriage is not for me so will never get married.

You'd be better off spending the money on a new car.

Quantum Erasure · 31-12-2019 4:27am

themouthpiece wrote: »

I'd be half afraid of divorce or getting sick of the missus after a few years and the legal implications if we ever got divorced....

five years living together, and it could be just as bad

MuffinTop86 · 31-12-2019 4:51am

I’m nearly afraid to get married. I’m with my partner 10 years now. You sometimes hear of people in long-term relationships getting married and then separating soon after.

themouthpiece · 31-12-2019 4:52am

MuffinTop86 wrote: »

I’m nearly afraid to get married. I’m with my partner 10 years now. You sometimes hear of people in long-term relationships getting married and then separating soon after.

Worst is the domestic abuse that starts after marriage. Either male and female trying to isolate their partner from friends and family seems to be a common enough thing.

Quantum Erasure · 31-12-2019 5:09am

themouthpiece wrote: »

Worst is the domestic abuse that starts after marriage. Either male and female trying to isolate their partner from friends and family seems to be a common enough thing.

I doubt that'd start after 10 years living together though. If it was going to happen, it'd happen shortly enough after moving in together, marriage or not

Bob Harris · 31-12-2019 5:46am

themouthpiece wrote: »

I know marriage is not for me so will never get married.

You'd be too busy starting new threads anyway.

themouthpiece · 31-12-2019 9:54am

Done with that thread now, lets go

Mehaffey1 · 31-12-2019 9:56am

1 Year after going out officially on the date from 17.5 to 18.5 years old. Our parents should have ripped the life out of us and told us to wise up. 6 years later we broke up amicably, never married.

Getting engaged and getting married isn't the be all and end all for a relationship.

pablo128 · 31-12-2019 9:56am

themouthpiece wrote: »

Done with that thread now, lets go

See how long a wife would hang around driving a 2010 skoda, mate.

Mehaffey1 · 31-12-2019 9:58am

pablo128 wrote: »

See how long a wife would hang around driving a 2010 skoda, mate.

Bout 9 seconds from 0 to 100kmh in a VRS?

lainey_d_123 · 31-12-2019 10:23am

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

I doubt that'd start after 10 years living together though. If it was going to happen, it'd happen shortly enough after moving in together, marriage or not

Not always. I know a few cases of one partner suddenly turning into Satan after the wedding, even in cases where they'd been together years. Domestic abuse following marriage seems quite common and is scary. It's as if some people think the other person is trapped and they can now do whatever they want.

Guy:Incognito · 31-12-2019 10:27am

themouthpiece wrote: »

Done with that thread now, lets go

Clearly not.

Grandeeod · 31-12-2019 10:32am

Got engaged at 30 after 9 months together. Married 9 months later. Still happily married after nearly 17 years.

valoren · 31-12-2019 11:18am

Met when we were both 32. Together two years before engagement. Married a year later. Together 7 years in total this coming March.

SusanC10 · 31-12-2019 11:24am

Got engaged after 1 year of dating both aged 28, married a year later again. That was almost 15 years ago now.

seamus · 31-12-2019 11:27am

MuffinTop86 wrote: »

I’m nearly afraid to get married. I’m with my partner 10 years now. You sometimes hear of people in long-term relationships getting married and then separating soon after.

In many cases the relationship is usually already broken, but one or both aren't sure what the problem is and think that a greater sign of commitment will fix the issue. Then they get married and realise the problem is still there.

I remember reading a reddit thread on "why did you get divorced", and a stunning number of people got married because they didn't have the balls to call off the wedding. And once it was done, they were left with no choice but to get a divorce. That must be an American thing.

Also, as others point out above, some people (mostly men) still have bizarrely antiquated ideas around marriage. They still think of it as a chase-and-capture exercise, and once married there is no longer any need to "chase" and they treat their partner like a servant or a piece of the furniture, where before they were on a pedestal. Since the other partner doesn't see it this way, the relationship quickly breaks down and they're gone.

wirelessdude01 · 31-12-2019 11:28am

themouthpiece wrote: »

Worst is the domestic abuse that starts after marriage. Either male and female trying to isolate their partner from friends and family seems to be a common enough thing.

Never heard of that just starting after marriage. If it was to happen which it no doubt does it would start soon after moving in together.

mcgragger · 31-12-2019 11:31am

themouthpiece wrote: »

Just a curiosity and the age involved as well. To be honest I'd be half afraid of divorce or getting sick of the missus after a few years and the legal implications if we ever got divorced. That's just my personality so no insults please.

I know marriage is not for me so will never get married.

I met my wife 12 years ago today believe it or not.

We were 2.5 years before engaged and then another 1.5 before we got married.

With or without marriage you are tied to someone legally after an amount of time living together so in reality marriage doesnt mean much these days to the non religious.

We were both 28 and had no kids when we met - we have two now.

We travelled alot in our early years. went all over the place - Bali, Borneo, Thailand, Vietnam, USA both Coasts,Malaysia,Indonesia Canada, Mexico, Most European countries etc.
Its all out of the system now. Happy to be settled.

izzyflusky · 31-12-2019 11:32am

I can't remember exactly but I think engaged a year and a half or so after we started going out. Married a year and a half later, 3 years long distance (different countries) and only moved in 2 weeks before the actual wedding.

Married 8 years this year.

Car99 · 31-12-2019 11:45am

mcgragger wrote: »

I met my wife 12 years ago today believe it or not.

We were 2.5 years before engaged and then another 1.5 before we got married.

With or without marriage you are tied to someone legally after an amount of time living together so in reality marriage doesnt mean much these days to the non religious.

We were both 28 and had no kids when we met - we have two now.

We travelled alot in our early years. went all over the place - Bali, Borneo, Thailand, Vietnam, USA both Coasts,Malaysia,Indonesia Canada, Mexico, Most European countries etc.
Its all out of the system now. Happy to be settled.

All out of the system , really. You wouldn't love to be still swaning around Aisa with your backpack and not a care in the world?

Cee-Jay-Cee · 31-12-2019 12:04pm

I met my wife in November 06 and we dated for about 6 weeks but then it fizzled out and we started seeing other people but stayed in touch with each other and met up a few times. We got back together at the beginning of April 07. We got engaged at the end of June 07 and married in June 08. We've been married 11 years and have two daughters (9 & 7yrs) and couldn’t be happier.

GooglePlus · 31-12-2019 1:02pm

Myself and my GF of 5 years (living together for 4) both seem to agree that marriage is a mugs game in the sense that, if two people want to stay together, can they not just do exactly that without getting married?

Are there benefits when two people get married such as tax status or something along those lines?

eviltwin · 31-12-2019 1:05pm

We started going out at 17 and got married at 31. We didn't really get engaged, we just decided to get married. Married 11 years now and all good for the most part.

eviltwin · 31-12-2019 1:06pm

GooglePlus wrote: »

Myself and my GF of 5 years (living together for 4) both seem to agree that marriage is a mugs game in the sense that, if two people want to stay together, can they not just do exactly that without getting married?

Are there benefits when two people get married such as tax status or something along those lines?

If you buy a house inheritance tax means it makes sense to get married. Then there's next of kin and parenting rights, not sure they are the same for cohabiting couples.

Odyssey 2005 · 31-12-2019 1:08pm

And just like that...! Hes gone, like zorro into the dark.

SusanC10 · 31-12-2019 1:08pm

eviltwin wrote: »

If you buy a house inheritance tax means it makes sense to get married. Then there's next of kin and parenting rights, not sure they are the same for cohabiting couples.

Also makes sense with tax credits if you are a single income family. Next-of-kin would be very important for us too.

beggars_bush · 31-12-2019 1:09pm

Until you are certain that they are not bat crazy and have the same outlook on life as yourself

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 31-12-2019 1:10pm

Got engaged about a year after meeting and married a year later: I was 26 and she was 24 when we married.

Coming up on 49 years ago and all good so far.

anewme · 31-12-2019 1:10pm

MuffinTop86 wrote: »

I’m nearly afraid to get married. I’m with my partner 10 years now. You sometimes hear of people in long-term relationships getting married and then separating soon after.

Yep, happened to me. Was with partner for 10 years. Once we got engaged, (he surprised me) I realised that I did not want to get married and the whole thing imploded within 3 years. He got pushy about starting to book wedding and I just kept fobbing him off as I knew I did not want it and he was not the right person for me. The relationship got very dark and ended with a massive violent row where he snapped and there could be no going back. Solicitors , Barristers, Bill's, stress.

pwurple · 31-12-2019 1:10pm

We were going out about 10 years, never saw the point of getting married as we didn't have kids at the time and were both working. Then my boyfriend had an accident, where he was brought to hospital and I couldn't consent to the operation he needed. I had to phone his mum, who was in another hospital at the time.

Then we saw the point after seeing a solicitor and checking how to fix that. It's a legal pack. Next of Kin. Guardianship. Tax. Inheritance.

We were married 6 months later in a smallish low-cost ceremony. Married almost 12 years now.

How long were you with your partner before getting engaged

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