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Transgender - Starting Process in late 30's

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  • 19-11-2019 12:13pm
    #1
    Triona Nic Aodha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭


    Like most I have struggled with this dysphoria most of my life.
    I have battled depression silently for the best part of 3 decades, occasionally opening up to some just as a form of relief.

    I have made the first steps again in arranging a consultant with a gender therapist and hopefully I can get some clarity or direction on my life.

    I know my family will be supportive, we are close, and they will help me along the way, its just obviously fear that they might be disappointed in themselves, or for me, that life has not be so straightforward.

    I told my sister about 10 years ago, and she cried saying she felt like she was losing her brother, which I suppose in her eyes is true. She has known most of my life that I felt this way but we have not really discussed it.

    I am at the stage now, where I am battling my mind hour after hour, day after day, and it is affecting me at work, at home, my friends, and that is why I have taken the next steps to address it.

    My question is (and dont get me wrong, it is not about how I will look or anything like that) how effective is HRT and blockers in your late 30's. Not that I have lots of money, but I dont mind going privately if that is a possibility and helps progress (but see that there is only really Galway as an option in Ireland).

    Is there anything I can do now to help me benefit from HRT when I finally get on to them, like diet, exercise regime, mental health, anything else at all that would benefit me preparing for this process.
    Tagged:


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    #2
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Hi

    Firstly, glad to hear you're looking at both the physical and psychological effects that this will have on you. I've been doing this a while, read a lot of stuff about other women's experience (from ages 17 to late 60/70's), and yeah, there is a huge difference in how HRT will change you in terms of both the physical and psychological - one is more dependent on age, and the other? Well... not so much... And unfortunately, for you, babes, that's the latter.

    Here's my take: Physical changes like breast growth and fat distribution and softer body hair will occur over time... unfortunately, an inverse relation between age of starting HRT and it's overall effect on these things makes difference. General rule: beginning HRT as soon as possible (16 years) is gonna have the best results. That doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. I started relatively late (Mid 20s) but, luckily I was always pretty as **** (Sorry, but one thing you'll learn hard and slow is that if you can't tell yourself how ****ing great you are everyday, no one else will). Anyways... Yeah, that brings me on to next point. Your natural body shape as it stands now will determine in large part how happy you will be with your results. Don't be expecting too much **** to happen in a quick period of time either (2-3 years min. before you'll see the real effects). If you have lots of unwanted hair facial or otherwise (thank christ, I was lucky there, too) - you gonna still have to fork a tonne of dolla for getting that taken care of - that is if you want to get rid of it, I suppose... whatever floats your boats, I guess.... Anyways... what was I saying?

    Oh, yeah, the psychological effects of HRT....

    Oh, honey....

    Best of luck...x


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    #3
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Also, in case that's gonna be your real name as a username... it;s never a good idea to use your full name on a site like this... Just my opinion.. Kinda naive to be honest... but you'll have plenty of time for being naive...


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    #4
    Triona Nic Aodha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Triona Nic Aodha


    Thanks JackTaylorFan

    Facial Hair - I’ve begun electrosis for my facial, yes it will be long and costly but if it helps in some way with my dysphoria.

    Starting therapy soon, so I’ll see where that takes me, hopefully to HRT.

    I’m not too bothered at this stage if I get “big boobs” or anything, just wanted to know anyone’s experience who has started approaching 49. Don’t get me wrong I wish I started 29 years, even 10 years ago, but I am where I am, and that is starting in my late 30’s.

    Although I’ve read up and educated myself down the years, it feels like a mind blur that I am clueless now that I am mentally ready to move on with my life.

    Any words of experience would be very much appreciated.


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    #5
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Triona Nic Aodha wrote: »
    .

    Any words of experience would be very much appreciated.

    Yeah, just one thing: Toughen up. I mean, you have no idea, and if you think you do, you definitely don't. No amount of reading or research will prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster that HRT can potentially be. And if you're gonna be living your life day to day as you, you're going to experience some level of insult from people (intentional or not) - unless you're living in a protective bubble that is. And that **** combined with HRT can cause chaos.

    Yeah that... and don't become a meme. There's enough embarrassing trans people out there already.


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    #6
    Triona Nic Aodha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Triona Nic Aodha


    Hi JackTaylorFan,

    Thanks for your words of wisdom, a bit blunt but I am sure you have your reasons for being direct, which I am yet to learn.

    Toughen up...dont become a meme...

    I'm not going down this path cause I want to, i feel I do not have any other choice. I dont think there is one trans person out there that happily wanted to be trans, more to the point, its the path they were destined to travel.

    A bit insensitive reading your message in the wee hours of the morning I feel!!!


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    #7
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,815 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Have you thought about going to a peer support group. They dont work for everyone but they do for a lot of people.

    https://www.teni.ie/resources/support/#1544626229331-f6163a32-e73f

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #8
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Triona Nic Aodha wrote: »

    A bit insensitive reading your message in the wee hours of the morning I feel!!!

    I'm just telling you how it be if you don't live inside a bubble. If you want it sugarcoated for you, ask TENI.


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    #9
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    You should join the Trans Online Support Ireland Discord Server. https://discord.gg/P9rwtv8

    Just joined myself.


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    #10
    Triona Nic Aodha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Triona Nic Aodha


    Thanks L Jenkins. I think TENI might be the best course of action and I will see what advice I can get from them


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    #11
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    Depending on what part of the country you're in, there may be support groups near by with very knowlegable participants and new people are always welcome.


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    #12
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,815 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    A lot of the peer supports groups may be helpful

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #13
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    A lot of the peer supports groups may be helpful

    Absolutely, and the social element is always good.


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