Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

TheMilkyPirate · 25-09-2019 8:12am

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of stuff.

It’s called life. It’s a quarter to one in the morning, and I’m just finished making the lunches. I’m up at 7 tomorrow - I mean today All day was in work. Once I got home, between bringing them to football, doing the shopping, helping with their homework, cooking dinner and having a bit of time to play with them before getting them to bed, there’s been no time to sit down. once they went to bed, I did washing and some tidying. posted once or twice on Boards just as a distraction between chores. My wife was at a meeting all day in Dublin, and once she got back back she had to visit her sick mother in hospital 40km away, so that was her evening gone. I spent all last week abroad for work, while she spent most of it in both Limerick and Cork hospitals with her mother.

So yeah, the fücking house is a mess. If any cünt wants to judge me for it, they can fück right off.

Sounds like a living nightmare to me.

iamwhoiam · 25-09-2019 8:17am

If you are coming to see me come anytime . If you are coming to see my house make an appointment

Edgware · 25-09-2019 8:21am

anewme wrote: »

Theres only me in tbe house and I'm looking at getting a cleaner in.

I work hard during the week and at the weekend dont want to spend my time off doing housework. LIfes too short. Two hours every second week should be enough to keep the house in order.

The secret is to doss as much as you can at work so you will have plenty energy for housework

whisky_galore · 25-09-2019 8:26am

Nothing worse than a house that looks like a bomb slammed into a branch of Smyths Toys, half sucked sweets and dirty clothes thrown into the mix.
One place I know the kids' scribblings on the living room walls is tolerated.

EDit · 25-09-2019 8:34am

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of...

Don’t count on it

I have 2 teenage sons and they are just as messy as they always were. The difference is that they can tidy up themselves when asked (usually several times with associated threats and bribery). The noise they make is something else as well.

The thing is, my house growing up was exactly the same, 35+ years ago, and I remember my mum saying that when I left home (I was the youngest) the house became too quiet and too clean. I never understood that when I was younger, but I do now.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 25-09-2019 8:41am

I have two daughters, 9 and 7 years old. They have a play room in which to keep all their toys in yet seemingly manage to distribute every single one of them between every other room in the house including the bathroom, utility room, hallway downstairs and the hallway/landing upstairs. I wouldn't have it any other way. They're happy and so therefore i'm happy.

Gregor Samsa · 25-09-2019 8:45am

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Sounds like a living nightmare to me.

Of course it would be a living nightmare if you didn’t madly love the children, wife and dying in-law involved. There’s worse things than an untidy house.

Forty Seven · 25-09-2019 8:48am

It's not difficult to teach kids to tidy after themselves. When you've got 3 kids and you're both working you'd be mad not to.

A place for everything and everything in its place. Don't buy **** you don't need and say no to your kids often. It's our job to raise them, not please them.

Keeping the house in order is easy with these little rules.

Dardania · 25-09-2019 8:55am

During a recent apartment move, we had the joy of the "minimalist" version of this, when most of our childrens toys were packed up along with TV, couch etc.
The net result was just more space between the remaining toys & food, and our youngest not having enough empty space on colouring books so she moved onto the walls with her crayons....

It's a different life OP - maybe you'll get there some day. But my advice is, move home a few times - great way to get rid of crap. And motivate children to keep clean by a promise of watching some cartoons.

PhilOssophy · 25-09-2019 8:55am

OP should outline his own situation, and why it is so much better, since he is in the mood to judge everyone else!

Fr_Dougal · 25-09-2019 8:56am

Lazy parenting.

D3V!L · 25-09-2019 8:59am

If my wife could teach her sadly departed boarder-collie to tidy up her dollies then why cant parents do the same with their kids. Its not very hard at all.

Feisar · 25-09-2019 8:59am

My wife is what I like to call "visually clean" could be chaos around the corner, however as long as what the guests can see it's OK.

Guests are anyone that's not her parents.

Ifevera wiztherewas · 25-09-2019 9:00am

Ah the old parent bashing on boards by non parents. It's been a whole ten minutes since the last. Then along comes Johnny I have ten kids who says I have kids so therefore am in a position to judge. Sure you are. You had ten kids alright but you spent every evening in the pub, arriving home smelling of curry and belching and farting your way through the night having tossed your skidmarked underwear on the bedroom floor for the wife to pick up and add to the laundry pile.

shesty · 25-09-2019 9:03am

When you have kids...you will understand!!
Less crap is definitely needed, I have culled a lot of stuff.But still, my kids manage to distribute everything everywhere.And honestly, if a kid is grubby and untidy it means the kid has had a good day learning and playing.

Unfrotunately kids do not fit into neat and ordered adult lives.You have to learn to let go and get over yourself when you have kids.

But I have to agree on one thing - no kid needs piles of plastic rubbish that sings and talks.Those toys are totally unnecessary.If those parents dumped at least half or more of that stuff, the kids wouldnt even notice and would probably spend more time playing with the bit of stuff that's left because they can focus on it properly.

PhoenixParker · 25-09-2019 9:05am

As a parent I rarely buy "****e we don't need".
My kid just had his birthday and I didn't even get him a present. It's not parents, it's everyone else who buys the mountains of toys.

He got more "****e we don't need" in one day then I'd have gotten in several years. I got a bike when I was 5. At 3 he has a ride on yoke, a balance bike and a scooter, none of them were bought by us. He has a whole box full of duplo that's more then all the Lego I had accumulated by the age of 18. Toy cars, big trucks, toy kitchen, you kitchen accessories . . .

He loves it all and plays with it regularly. We have decent storage and occasionally it all even gets fully tidied away but it's tough to plan storage and stay on top of your when you're not the one bringing it into the house.

silent_spark · 25-09-2019 9:10am

I think we all have way too much stuff, and it makes tidying and cleaning much more difficult than it needs to be.

I don’t have children, but the amount of toys my nephews have is insane - and half of it is broken, with bits lost etc. Their house is in a constant state of chaos, and they always claim to be broke. A few years ago I stopped adding to the chaos and mostly buy them experiences instead. For Christmas I buy them each a book to go with it, as they’re still quite young and like the parcel aspect.

At the moment I hate putting away clean laundry as my side of the wardrobe is way too full to make it a straightforward task. The likelihood of me putting it off for a day longer than needed is quite high because of this. I could donate half of it and I don’t think anyone would notice.

Feisar · 25-09-2019 9:14am

Ifevera wiztherewas wrote: »

Ah the old parent bashing on boards by non parents. It's been a whole ten minutes since the last. Then along comes Johnny I have ten kids who says I have kids so therefore am in a position to judge. Sure you are. You had ten kids alright but you spent every evening in the pub, arriving home smelling of curry and belching and farting your way through the night having tossed your skidmarked underwear on the bedroom floor for the wife to pick up and add to the laundry pile.

huh?

Ifevera wiztherewas · 25-09-2019 9:16am

Feisar wrote:

huh?

I thought it was quite descriptive myself. Do you think I should pad it out with a second chapter?

ax530 · 25-09-2019 9:20am

a messy house here with too many toys, because they play with the toys a lot. I cant understand when see pictures of neat toy rooms with displays why keep the toys if not being played with. As other posters have mentioned its grannies ect who get the presents for kids. So much availability of toys & treats on offer lots cannot resist.
Both parents working is not always just for financial reasons, if people have studied, gained qualifications ect why should they stop that work they enjoy to stay at home and creche offers so much for children

lemonkey · 25-09-2019 9:24am

Have you any kids Tickers? It's easy to expect no mess, harder to actually achieve it. I'm not very materialistic nor is my partner so we don't have clutter. However, you'd be shocked how much stuff a 9 month old has. If we didn't have a play room, our house would be like a bomb with baby stuff.

By the time both me and my partner finish work, collect the baby, feed her, play with her, put her to bed, cook dinner and/or go training it could easily be 8.30-9.00pm before we get to tidy up the mess. So if you called between 5pm-9pm the house isn't going to be tidy. Such is life.

I could only imagine the chaos with 2 or more children. You haven't a hope of a perfectly tidy house with kids under 12, no matter how much you clean.

looksee · 25-09-2019 9:53am

I agree that houses are for living in, not display areas, I would make two points-

Firstly, I do think the days of mountains of plastic crud are numbered.

It is a waste of resources for one thing, and a lot of the plastic is just waste. All the over-packaging and plastic accessories in any of the display toys is not necessary, and the accessories immediately end up in the plastic stew at the bottom of a toy box along with bits of lego, odd jigsaw bits, dismembered pens, dead crayons and unidentifiable stuff that will never be sorted or used again.

A nursery in England somewhere did an experiment where they took away all the plastic toys and replaced them with cardboard boxes, wooden items - essentially bits of wood - and everyday kitchen pans etc. They discovered that the children very quickly became more creative in their play, more sociable, and more inclined to play outside. I didn't hear what the eventual outcome was, but it did seem to suggest that the plastic stuff was not all necessary.

Secondly, its been said a lot recently, but there is huge satisfaction in throwing out stuff that is no longer needed, and tidying up creates calm space. It relieves stress and is relaxing. Absolutely it is difficult to do with two parents working, but an all-family effort to clear just one room could be very rewarding. Not for visitors, for the family.

v638sg7k1a92bx · 25-09-2019 10:07am

The replies from parents on this thread is very concerning. The knee jerk reaction is to cry foul for being "judged" and refuse to take responsibility for why their homes are in a mess a blame every other circumstance than accept the fact that they are unable to manage their own lives. As one parent said "that isn't a mess, it's a child making memories". Sorry but your child's supposed happiness is not absolute.
What type of environment are you raising your children in where they are surrounded by chaos, if you allow your kids to create a mess and do as they please at home they are going to do the same outside the home. As parents you should know that it's not acceptable or conducive to a functional lifestyle if your home is not in order. Would you work in an office environment that had papers and files strewn all over the floor or you had to clear a space on your desk just so you could work on your laptop?

Ifevera wiztherewas · 25-09-2019 10:22am

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote:

The replies from parents on this thread is very concerning. The knee jerk reaction is to cry foul for being "judged" and refuse to take responsibility for why their homes are in a mess a blame every other circumstance than accept the fact that they are unable to manage their own lives. As one parent said "that isn't a mess, it's a child making memories". Sorry but your child's supposed happiness is not absolute. What type of environment are you raising your children in where they are surrounded by chaos, if you allow your kids to create a mess and do as they please at home they are going to do the same outside the home. As parents you should know that it's not acceptable or conducive to a functional lifestyle if your home is not in order. Would you work in an office environment that had papers and files strewn all over the floor or you had to clear a space on your desk just so you could work on your laptop?

I'd give you 5 out of 10 for that one. It was a decent effort in fairness. Still too obvious though.

anewme · 25-09-2019 10:26am

Edgware wrote: »

The secret is to doss as much as you can at work so you will have plenty energy for housework

I actually enjoy my work. Wouldnt get away with big time dossing.

I don't enjoy housework.

I keep my energy for the gym.

jam_mac_jam · 25-09-2019 10:26am

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

The replies from parents on this thread is very concerning. The knee jerk reaction is to cry foul for being "judged" and refuse to take responsibility for why their homes are in a mess a blame every other circumstance than accept the fact that they are unable to manage their own lives. As one parent said "that isn't a mess, it's a child making memories". Sorry but your child's supposed happiness is not absolute.
What type of environment are you raising your children in where they are surrounded by chaos, if you allow your kids to create a mess and do as they please at home they are going to do the same outside the home. As parents you should know that it's not acceptable or conducive to a functional lifestyle if your home is not in order. Would you work in an office environment that had papers and files strewn all over the floor or you had to clear a space on your desk just so you could work on your laptop?

Concerning? That there are a few toys around the house? If that's what you have to worry about kids growing up around its not really much of a worry is it.

riffmongous · 25-09-2019 10:28am

Tidiness is overrated. It's a waste of energy in a futile attempt to fight entropy, to produce bland, sterile environments for the sake of satisfying some control freak impulse.

PhilOssophy · 25-09-2019 10:34am

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

The replies from parents on this thread is very concerning. The knee jerk reaction is to cry foul for being "judged" and refuse to take responsibility for why their homes are in a mess a blame every other circumstance than accept the fact that they are unable to manage their own lives. As one parent said "that isn't a mess, it's a child making memories". Sorry but your child's supposed happiness is not absolute.
What type of environment are you raising your children in where they are surrounded by chaos, if you allow your kids to create a mess and do as they please at home they are going to do the same outside the home. As parents you should know that it's not acceptable or conducive to a functional lifestyle if your home is not in order. Would you work in an office environment that had papers and files strewn all over the floor or you had to clear a space on your desk just so you could work on your laptop?

Why don't you tell everybody your situation/setup/life situation?

lemonkey · 25-09-2019 10:39am

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

The replies from parents on this thread is very concerning. The knee jerk reaction is to cry foul for being "judged" and refuse to take responsibility for why their homes are in a mess a blame every other circumstance than accept the fact that they are unable to manage their own lives. As one parent said "that isn't a mess, it's a child making memories". Sorry but your child's supposed happiness is not absolute.
What type of environment are you raising your children in where they are surrounded by chaos, if you allow your kids to create a mess and do as they please at home they are going to do the same outside the home. As parents you should know that it's not acceptable or conducive to a functional lifestyle if your home is not in order. Would you work in an office environment that had papers and files strewn all over the floor or you had to clear a space on your desk just so you could work on your laptop?

Ah, I thought you were actually being serious until this post. Too obvious.

adam88 · 25-09-2019 10:46am

anewme wrote: »

Theres only me in tbe house and I'm looking at getting a cleaner in.

I work hard during the week and at the weekend don't want to spend my time off doing housework. Lifes too short. Two hours every second week should be enough to keep the house in order.

That’s what I do. It takes the cleaner 2 hours to do it once a fortnight whereas it would take me easily double that. It’s well worth it

Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

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