House Issue

Just as an aside, the OP's boyfriend is a trained architect - 8+ years in college, and then did a masters 1 1/2 years add on. Thats 10 years + studying. The country is awash with out of work architects none of whom could get employed during the bad years and many of whose businesses went bust leaving many competing for small kitchen extension & conversion jobs. The OPs OH does not want the garage for a business or design studio but to enjoy his hobby .

After 10 or more years of study and long periods of unemployment I would be worrying about his commitment to his profession and earning a living and alongside that worried about his detatchment from reality in relation to costs and finances. The OP may have been with him for 3 years but perhaps now the crunch is setting in - his unreasonableness in relation to her money is a big red flag, and at this stage of his life where he must be at least in his mid 30's I would be wondering if his reliance on other peoples funding and money and student lifestyle attitude might be so ingrained in him that it will never evolve. Some people are selfish with money and quick to spend anothers. I would agree with a lot of the other posters on this site and wonder why someone whose profession is essentially houses and real estate knowledge can be so out of step or refusing to adknowledge the realities of his profession and be so selfish in relation to the very valid concerns and lifetime savings of his partner. Particularly ones that would have an ongoing negative affect on her quality of life ( loans, financial pressure,livimg in a building site) and ongoing financial hardship for her and impede her life goals and reasonable dreams of a quiet dirt free relaxed comfortable life and a bit of travel.

For someone who has and is prepared to contribute so little, financially, in empathy and in reality he seems very high maintenance and demanding. In such a poor area for employment as architecture where as an inexperienced graduate competing against architets with 10 or 20 years professional experience I have to wonder how he thinks he is going to add to the table - or perhaps he thinks you are his parents substitute where you will put a roof over his head and pay his way while he comes home from his low paying job at 6 ot 7 pm and goes to his garage and plays with his car for a few hours. Where exactly are you in alll this - or are you just providing the board and lodgings and keeping him in a quality lifestyle like his parents did and facilitating him playing outside in his man playroom before meeting up with him late in the evening as he is turning in for some sex before he goes to sleep.

Regarding ownership and cohabitating I know several people who bought as the red flags came up and in each case the outcomes were dreadful - the equivalent of having a baby to fix a relationship. Keep saving and keep renting by all means, but dont buy with him. And if you let him move in dont let him do any renovations or extend a garage - he wil end up owning half when the inevitable happens - get a lease and a rent book and do the rent a room scheme with his bills and rent coming to less than the 14k allowance and make sure he has a seperate room . It sounds like a total mess already - dont let love or optimism blind you - your lifes savings, dreams and future is already seriously at risk, and love and optimism and the dream of a happy ever after are leaving you blinkered to what so many others on this thread can see.