How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

Church on Tuesday · 20-06-2019 05:25PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Mods are welcome to share my IP.

Not everyone here is in Longford, angry at the world.

And not everyone here can or wants to live and work in China.

Wanderer2010 · 20-06-2019 05:47PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Mods are welcome to share my IP.

Not everyone here is in Longford, angry at the world.

That's not very nice for the people in Longford. I know a few people from there are they wouldn't like that remark.

Mister Vain · 20-06-2019 05:51PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

My advice to you is two things:

* Therapy, and you take your therapists advice (you need to work on yourself too).

* Gym five days week (Monday: Chest, Tuesday: Back, Wednesday: Shoulders, Friday: Arms, Sunday: Legs).

You only have one life. You've been dealt a bad hand. Force yourself to make the effort.

Don't listen to the crabs in a bucket. This website is full of them. They want you to fail too.

Ahh here, he's not preparing for Mr Olympia. By all means join a gym, but a detailed training schedule is hardly good advice for him.

OMM 0000 · 20-06-2019 05:58PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

Ahh here, he's not preparing for Mr Olympia. By all means join a gym, but a detailed training schedule is hardly good advice for him.

What I recommended is generally considered the best workout routine for mass and recovery. I follow this routine myself. I like it for many reasons; one of them being how it becomes a part of your daily routine. It becomes a part of your lifestyle.

You're welcome to recommend a better gym routine.

Mister Vain · 20-06-2019 06:02PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

What I recommended is generally considered the best workout routine for mass and recovery. I follow this routine myself. I like it for many reasons; one of them being how it becomes a part of your daily routine. It becomes a part of your lifestyle.

You're welcome to recommend a better gym routine.

The routine is irrelevant. He has other more important things to be thinking about. Joining a gym in and of itself is a good idea. Parkruns could be another good way to meet new people.

OMM 0000 · 20-06-2019 06:06PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

The routine is irrelevant. He has other more important things to be thinking about. Joining a gym in and of itself is a good idea. Parkruns could be another good way to meet new people.

Gym is acknowledged as one of the best ways to help anxiety and depression.

If you're going to do the gym, you may as well do it right.

I have no interest in arguing with you.

Mister Vain · 20-06-2019 06:10PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Gym is acknowledged as one of the best ways to help anxiety and depression.

If you're going to do the gym, you may as well do it right.

I have no interest in arguing with you.

Well giving the guy's situation, I hardly think "mass and recovery" are high up on his list of priorities.

OMM 0000 · 20-06-2019 06:11PM

Mister Vain wrote: »

Well giving the guy's situation, I hardly think "mass and recovery" are high up on his list of priorities.

I disagree. Seeing results and not injuring yourself are important.

Have you ever been to the gym?

Mister Vain · 20-06-2019 06:33PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I disagree. Seeing results and not injuring yourself are important.

Have you ever been to the gym?

Wearing a helmet while driving a motorbike is important too. What's your point? All this "broscience" stuff is not exactly helpful.

CelticRambler · 20-06-2019 08:00PM

Being practical, OMM, if any of the rest of us move to Japan, excluding hanging out in bars, how/when/where can we meet all these single women to be drowned in?

emo72 · 20-06-2019 08:14PM

This thread title sounds like a Michael Bolton song.

20-06-2019 09:38PM

emo72 wrote: »

This thread title sounds like a Michael Bolton song.

But it sounds better than an MB song because it's a message board and there's no sound.

20-06-2019 09:54PM

a better routine would be start more gradually 3x a week or he'll overdo, and either get injured or burn out after 10 days

i don't know the poster so i'm not going to say yeah go to the gym that'll sort you out - but i do like it

kowloon · 21-06-2019 12:20AM

facehugger99 wrote: »

Every workplace I've been in has been stocked to the gills with good-looking women in HR - no guys, just women.

My advice to any single chap of college-going age is to get into HR. You'll be surrounded by hot women day-in day-out and probably bateing them off you at the department Christmas party after they've had a few Cosmos.

You're welcome.

SharpshooterTom · 21-06-2019 12:59AM

bluewolf wrote: »

a better routine would be start more gradually 3x a week or he'll overdo, and either get injured or burn out after 10 days

i don't know the poster so i'm not going to say yeah go to the gym that'll sort you out - but i do like it

I'm planning to have an overhaul of my diet, my fitness, my clothes etc. Planning to take up some sports too.

But as I say it doesn't change the biggest stumbling block in that I don't socialise very well and I'm not popular personally. I can have all the money in the world and other materialistic things but it doesn't change who I am. I would be looking to change those things listed above to primarily help me and my mental health first and foremost not necessarily just to make myself attractive to others.

Ardillaun · 21-06-2019 01:20AM

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I'm planning to have an overhaul of my diet, my fitness, my clothes etc. Planning to take up some sports too.

But as I say it doesn't change the biggest stumbling block in that I don't socialise very well and I'm not popular personally. I can have all the money in the world and other materialistic things but it doesn't change who I am. I would be looking to change those things listed above to primarily help me and my mental health first and foremost not necessarily just to make myself attractive to others.

Sorry to hear things aren’t going so well. I moved from the UK to Ireland as a teenager but things worked out for me after some mild turbulence early on. When I went to Downpatrick after college, I was struck by how macho the culture was up there compared to Galway and Dublin.

OMM 0000 · 21-06-2019 06:00AM

Mister Vain wrote: »

Wearing a helmet while driving a motorbike is important too. What's your point? All this "broscience" stuff is not exactly helpful.

The 5 day routine isn't broscience. Recommending people go to the gym, one of the known ways to help fight depression, is not exactly helpful?

There are too many negative people here who just want to argue. I'm pretty sure at this stage I could say the grass is green and some of you would try to find a way to say its brown. Getting a real crabs in a bucket vibe.

OMM 0000 · 21-06-2019 06:54AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

Being practical, OMM, if any of the rest of us move to Japan, excluding hanging out in bars, how/when/where can we meet all these single women to be drowned in?

All the usual ways. The Japanese have some weird social rules (yes often means no), but they're still people and want and do the same things as everyone else.

When I was single I liked dating apps as it required very little effort. You've all heard of yellow fever, but it goes the other way too.

Mister Vain · 21-06-2019 10:12AM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

The 5 day routine isn't broscience. Recommending people go to the gym, one of the known ways to help fight depression, is not exactly helpful?

There are too many negative people here who just want to argue. I'm pretty sure at this stage I could say the grass is green and some of you would try to find a way to say its brown. Getting a real crabs in a bucket vibe.

But he said it himself, he has bigger obstacles to overcome first. A five day gym routine is not important right now. You're getting the cart before the horse.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 21-06-2019 10:30AM

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I'm planning to have an overhaul of my diet, my fitness, my clothes etc. Planning to take up some sports too.

But as I say it doesn't change the biggest stumbling block in that I don't socialise very well and I'm not popular personally. I can have all the money in the world and other materialistic things but it doesn't change who I am. I would be looking to change those things listed above to primarily help me and my mental health first and foremost not necessarily just to make myself attractive to others.

Can I ask, are you sure you're not popular or people don't warm to you? In your posts you're coming across very well, articulate, intelligent, nice. I know there can be a big gulf between how we come across online and in person though.

When you say you don't socialise well, what is it? That you get very stressed out, that you offend people without meaning to, that conversations falter and fail?

It's just that I see you say you were bullied when you were younger and I wonder if to some extent you have an ingrained idea in your head of how people perceive you and it's not really accurate any more.

I understand your caution and that your priority is your mental health but from where I'm sitting you sound like a man who would have a lot to bring to a relationship. The fact that's a concern for you makes you more emotionally intelligent than an awful lot of men, for one thing.

OMM 0000 · 21-06-2019 10:45AM

Mister Vain wrote: »

But he said it himself, he has bigger obstacles to overcome first. A five day gym routine is not important right now. You're getting the cart before the horse.

Let's agree to disagree instead of going around in circles.

I will explain my logic to you and then leave I'll leave it at that:

He said in an earlier post he's long term unemployed. So I was thinking three things:

a) Gym is good for battling depression, improving health, improving appearance, etc., but I was mostly thinking about the depression angle.

b) The 5 day routine (each body part once per week) is universally agreed as the best routine for mass and recovery. In comparison, the 'full body/three days a week' routine is far more likely to cause an injury due to overtraining. If you don't understand what I mean, I'll explain: on the 5 day routine you train arms once per week; on the 3 day routine you train arms thrice per week.

c) He needs a routine, something to look forward to, something to build a life around. Get out of the house, accomplish something, feel good. Gym is really good for this.

This sort of logic shouldn't make you angry.

OK, as I said, I don't want to go round in circles, so I'll leave this as my last gym-related post.

CelticRambler · 21-06-2019 10:45AM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

All the usual ways.

Yeah, but what exactly are "the usual ways" - in your opinion? Because I'm still having trouble seeing how someone dressed in designer shoes and a well-tailored shirt fits into any activity that would interest the kind of woman that interests me.

OMM 0000 · 21-06-2019 10:48AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

Yeah, but what exactly are "the usual ways" - in your opinion? Because I'm still having trouble seeing how someone dressed in designer shoes and a well-tailored shirt fits into any activity that would interest the kind of woman that interests me.

Meetup group

Dance class

Networking event

Painting course

Museum tour

Couchsurfing event

Gallery opening

Etc.

Basically anything where there are people you can talk to. The more people you meet, the greater your chance of meeting someone you like. Also, practice makes perfect.

Personally I liked things like gallery openings and art events.

Lux23 · 21-06-2019 10:50AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

Yeah, but what exactly are "the usual ways" - in your opinion? Because I'm still having trouble seeing how someone dressed in designer shoes and a well-tailored shirt fits into any activity that would interest the kind of woman that interests me.

What kind of women interest you? This is a genuine question, so I can think of places that might work for you.

CelticRambler · 21-06-2019 11:23AM

Lux23 wrote: »

What kind of women interest you? This is a genuine question, so I can think of places that might work for you.

It wasn't specifically for my own needs

(I know where "my kind of woman" hangs out - the last few of the most interesting I've met were: at the top of a mountain [total number of people present: 2]; at a supermarket check-out [total number of people present: 3, including the lady on the till]; on a park bench in Salt Lake City [excluding passers-by, total present: 2 (she was there to cause trouble :pac: )]

The question was intended to put OMM's other advice in context. Regarding that list, and taking things back to the beginning of this thread ...
Meetup group - none within 100km

Dance class - so who needs the gym? And the sweat will ruin those fancy clothes ; and once you get past the 30-year-olds, a huge proportion of the women who go there are involved with some other guy

Networking event - that counts as work, so either you'd be going anyway or you're not going to get in as a random stranger

Painting course - once again, you don't want to be too dressed up for that; but if the only reason you're signing up for that is to pull the birds, the birds will quickly see through you. :P

Couchsurfing event - none within 100km, but funnily enough, the last one I went to was pretty good. That was in Dublin; there were no Irish present! :cool: It also happened to be exactly the same kind of dance event that I go to here on the continent. Fancy clothes and a six-pack not required.

Museum tour -
Gallery opening - As for the painting. If you've no interest in what the museums or galleries are actually presenting, your lack of interest will be apparent to anyone you meet and you're only playing a role.

OMM 0000 · 21-06-2019 11:26AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

The question was intended to put OMM's other advice in context. Regarding that list, and taking things back to the beginning of this thread ...
Meetup group - none within 100km

Dance class - so who needs the gym? And the sweat will ruin those fancy clothes ; and once you get past the 30-year-olds, a huge proportion of the women who go there are involved with some other guy

Networking event - that counts as work, so either you'd be going anyway or you're not going to get in as a random stranger

Painting course - once again, you don't want to be too dressed up for that; but if the only reason you're signing up for that is to pull the birds, the birds will quickly see through you. :P

Couchsurfing event - none within 100km, but funnily enough, the last one I went to was pretty good. That was in Dublin; there were no Irish present! :cool: It also happened to be exactly the same kind of dance event that I go to here on the continent. Fancy clothes and a six-pack not required.

Museum tour -
Gallery opening - As for the painting. If you've no interest in what the museums or galleries are actually presenting, your lack of interest will be apparent to anyone you meet and you're only playing a role.

Alright, so you just wanted to be incredibly negative?

Well done.

CelticRambler · 21-06-2019 11:41AM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Alright, so you just wanted to be incredibly negative?

Well done.

Nope, not "incredibly negative" - just realistic. Much of your advice is simply impractical for the majority of ordinary men living ordinary lives, especially anywhere outside of a major population centre.

And you're all about the numbers. I disagree with that: as my examples show, it's just as easy to meet someone interesting, one-to-one, at the top of a mountain or at the supermarket check-out, and it makes damn-all difference what you're wearing if your reason for being there is, in itself, a point of conversation between yourself and the other person.

OMM 0000 · 21-06-2019 11:50AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

Nope, not "incredibly negative" - just realistic. Much of your advice is simply impractical for the majority of ordinary men living ordinary lives, especially anywhere outside of a major population centre.

And you're all about the numbers. I disagree with that: as my examples show, it's just as easy to meet someone interesting, one-to-one, at the top of a mountain or at the supermarket check-out, and it makes damn-all difference what you're wearing if your reason for being there is, in itself, a point of conversation between yourself and the other person.

You're trying very hard to take the most negative view on my posts.

My point, which I thought was obvious, is you need to get out there. Go to events, courses, whatever. Be around people. Talk to people.

If you aren't willing to make an effort, or want to remain living in a location which makes it very difficult to meet people, that's on you.

Now I await your negative interpretation of the above. Let me guess. I'm not taking account of people who can't speak or are physically disabled?

Why am I wasting my time? Good luck to you.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 21-06-2019 12:18PM

Guys I think you two should just ride each other. All this will they won't they back and forth snipping and teasing, come on. Whip em out and see where things go

Jimmy Bottlehead · 21-06-2019 12:38PM

CelticRambler wrote: »

Nope, not "incredibly negative" - just realistic. Much of your advice is simply impractical for the majority of ordinary men living ordinary lives, especially anywhere outside of a major population centre.

And you're all about the numbers. I disagree with that: as my examples show, it's just as easy to meet someone interesting, one-to-one, at the top of a mountain or at the supermarket check-out, and it makes damn-all difference what you're wearing if your reason for being there is, in itself, a point of conversation between yourself and the other person.

I'd agree, you're being dismissive and purposefully awkward.

It IS all about numbers. Higher numbers equal higher chances of meeting the woman who'll actually interest you. It's simple statistics. If you stick to hanging around deserted mountain tops waiting for single women, your chances of meeting one are slim... but your chances of getting arrested are higher.

Get out, try some new stuff, meet new people, dress nice, get sweaty or painty or whatever and actually try to be a man who's a laugh to be around rather than one who rigidly stays in his lane, and is confused why the world won't amend itself to suit his wants.

How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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