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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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Comments

  • #962
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    Nearly 33.

    Still a virgin
    Never had a girlfriend
    Never been kissed
    Never held hands with a girl
    Never had a female friend

    Its fair to say I'm a bit of a friggin weirdo, good chance I may die this way too. :eek:

    Although reading through this thread there is a part of me that feels I'm relieved to have avoided some of this and the harsh world of dating in general. There is this urge to be in relationships and to be having sex because its 'normal' to do so but there's no guarantee of it ever bringing you happiness and often for a lot of people it brings the very opposite.

    I have mixed feelings about whether my situation is actually all that bad or not.

    I guess it boils down to do you want to change that or not?

    If you're happy out with life in general then that's the main thing; there are any amount of vastly unhappy people out there. Many in marriages/relationships too.

    If you're happy in yourself and healthy, that's actually a great position to be in to meet someone the same.

    There are many in your situation too.

    Keep and open mind, you'd be surprised how random someone can come into your life and don't sweat the other stuff with is really just a result of peer and societal pressures.


  • #963
    facehugger99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,117 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    Every workplace I've been in has been stocked to the gills with good-looking women in HR - no guys, just women.

    My advice to any single chap of college-going age is to get into HR. You'll be surrounded by hot women day-in day-out and probably bateing them off you at the department Christmas party after they've had a few Cosmos.

    You're welcome.


  • #964
    ginandtonicsky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »

    Although reading through this thread there is a part of me that feels I'm relieved to have avoided some of this and the harsh world of dating in general. There is this urge to be in relationships and to be having sex because its 'normal' to do so but there's no guarantee of it ever bringing you happiness and often for a lot of people it brings the very opposite.

    I have mixed feelings about whether my situation is actually all that bad or not.

    I can appreciate that viewpoint. My overwhelming experience of dating was that it was painful and stressful. Until it wasn't. It stopped being that way, in the first instance, when I met my ex. Then it was easy and the most natural thing in the world. I just met someone I had a strong connection with who made me laugh until my stomach hurt every day. The torturous "what's this guy's deal" wasn't there and instead we slid into each other's lives seamlessly.

    Most recently, as a single woman again, I just decided I was done with all the bs. I like me, I'm pretty great if you ask me! I'm not a supermodel and I'm not the most impressive and most successful woman on the planet, but I don't need to be. I'm me and that's more than enough.

    Online dating in particular didn't make me feel that way. It just wasn't for me. So I decided to go on continue liking me without compromising on that feeling in the pursuit of someone else. I mentioned it earlier in the thread, but this was when doors started to open and other people started to like me too. I've met someone brilliant recently simply by throwing out the rule book and trying to live for joy a little, instead of constantly looking for that external validation all the time.

    I appreciate it's not always that easy for people to meet or attract other people. But there's a lot to be said for being lighthearted about things. In a world where you can constantly feel inadequate or less than or never measuring up, learn to see the fun side of things.

    To get back to your original "not sure it's worth it" idea. To my mind, love absolutely is worth it. For me it's the bottom line to everything. It's the magic and the point of everything. It's bloody hard, jesus is it impossible to live harmoniously with another person. You have to learn how to argue, learn how to compromise, adapt to another person's odd little ways, throw yourself out of your comfort zone entirely. And god knows there is absolutely fcuk all guarantees. But it is absolutely worth the search.


  • #965
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,654 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    Nearly 33.

    Still a virgin
    Never had a girlfriend
    Never been kissed
    Never held hands with a girl
    Never had a female friend

    Its fair to say I'm a bit of a friggin weirdo, good chance I may die this way too. :eek:

    Although reading through this thread there is a part of me that feels I'm relieved to have avoided some of this and the harsh world of dating in general. There is this urge to be in relationships and to be having sex because its 'normal' to do so but there's no guarantee of it ever bringing you happiness and often for a lot of people it brings the very opposite.

    I have mixed feelings about whether my situation is actually all that bad or not.

    I think it's more important to try and be happy with what you have rather than focusing on what you don't along with trying new things and a bit of self improvement here and there.

    On the flipside, you're free to travel, do days out, pursue your own interests and hobbies and change careers should you feel like it. Being single isn't all doom and gloom.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • #966
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Church on Tuesday wrote:
    Keep and open mind, you'd be surprised how random someone can come into your life and don't sweat the other stuff with is really just a result of peer and societal pressures.
    ancapailldorcha wrote:
    On the flipside, you're free to travel, do days out, pursue your own interests and hobbies and change careers should you feel like it. Being single isn't all doom and gloom.

    Well its one thing to be perpetually single for a lot of your life and another to never have ever kissed, dated, had sex or experienced any form intimacy with another human being in your 30s. I'd say the latter isn't that common.

    Am I personally bothered by it? Well, I'd say I've learned to live with it. I'm not a popular person, a bit of a loner, I can talk to people and can do small chat but I have no close friends or people to hang out with, in fact I've never had any in my adult life, just acquaintances at best. I'm like the guy everyone describes as "a nice guy," but for some reason, is never a part of any social gatherings.

    Because I don't do social interactions well, I don't know therefore if I'm capable of making another person happy. And if I try to dabble in a relationship or a fling it will end badly and I'll come off worse for it.

    I mean sure, in a perfect world, I would like to get married, have children and live happily ever after but life doesn't work like that of a romcom story.

    Therefore I think there's every chance given the nature of my personality and who I am that I may have to live like this for the rest of my life. I've never sought escort services because I find the concept fake, but if I'm in my 40s and still a virgin (which is fairly likely) then perhaps I have never other choice because of dying a virgin given my current lifestyle is very real.

    You are correct to say there are advantages to being single. I have misanthropic tendencies so feel safer and more secure alone a lot of the time, but it is a quiet life without risks.


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  • #967
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ThomasFlynn,

    You shouldn't learn to live with never been with a woman.

    I fully believe in doing whatever you want to do (e.g. being alone on a mountain in Donegal), but I think your decisions should be based on knowledge and experience.

    So I think you need to experience being with a woman.

    Everything is about advantages/disadvantages, risk/reward, but to be able to make good decisions you need knowledge and experience.

    I made a post a few pages back: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=110338912

    Could you try this? It'll take you about 6 months. You could throw in a bit of therapy to help with some of the issues you have. I am 100% certain if you followed my advice you could get a partner. Then you could decide if it's worth it. (It is worth it),

    You shouldn't have to be lonely.


  • #968
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    To add: I'm happy to help you with this stuff. Can offer offline advice.


  • #969
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    I've got loads of advice for negging the ladies, what's the best asshole smirk you can have to attract the honeys and how to get away with touching women inappropriately. It's part of my Chatting Up Ladies programme (Which honestly has nothing to do with PUA, I swear. My one is called CUL, which is cool) and you can buy my suite of self improvement DVD for the one time price of €99.99.


  • #970
    Robert ninja
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,878 ✭✭✭Robert ninja


    facehugger99 wrote: »
    My advice to any single chap of college-going age is to get into HR.


    "So what attracted you to this job?"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M


  • #971
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,654 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    Well its one thing to be perpetually single for a lot of your life and another to never have ever kissed, dated, had sex or experienced any form intimacy with another human being in your 30s. I'd say the latter isn't that common......

    You are correct to say there are advantages to being single. I have misanthropic tendencies so feel safer and more secure alone a lot of the time, but it is a quiet life without risks.

    Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be mad pushing the single life or the MGTOW stuff (Is that even still a thing?) at all. However, it's not healthy to just dwell on the negative. It'll just eat at you over time and erode your confidence and perspective. Of course, it's not healthy to pretend that your problems are not there either. Just find a balance to start with and look into taking action which leads me to...
    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    ThomasFlynn,

    You shouldn't learn to live with never been with a woman.

    I fully believe in doing whatever you want to do (e.g. being alone on a mountain in Donegal), but I think your decisions should be based on knowledge and experience.

    So I think you need to experience being with a woman.

    Everything is about advantages/disadvantages, risk/reward, but to be able to make good decisions you need knowledge and experience.

    I made a post a few pages back: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=110338912

    Could you try this? It'll take you about 6 months. You could throw in a bit of therapy to help with some of the issues you have. I am 100% certain if you followed my advice you could get a partner. Then you could decide if it's worth it. (It is worth it),

    You shouldn't have to be lonely.

    I don't disagree that this is mostly excellent advice (though maybe we'll just agree to disagree vis-a-vis videogames). However, if someone is autistic, awkward, very introverted, had an abusive childhood or for whatever reason struggles to make conversation with strangers then it's going to be very, very difficult. In fairness, you did allude to therapy but it's a real struggle for some people and if they're reasonably happy being single then often they'll content themselves with what they have.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



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  • #972
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    ThomasFlynn,

    You shouldn't learn to live with never been with a woman.

    I fully believe in doing whatever you want to do (e.g. being alone on a mountain in Donegal), but I think your decisions should be based on knowledge and experience.

    So I think you need to experience being with a woman.

    Everything is about advantages/disadvantages, risk/reward, but to be able to make good decisions you need knowledge and experience.

    I made a post a few pages back: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=110338912

    Could you try this? It'll take you about 6 months. You could throw in a bit of therapy to help with some of the issues you have. I am 100% certain if you followed my advice you could get a partner. Then you could decide if it's worth it. (It is worth it),

    You shouldn't have to be lonely.

    Hi OMM,

    I already do 1-2, 4-5 and 8.

    I don't have any female friends so can't do no.3, I can't help doing no.6 because of my limited social life. Maybe I can take my hobbies and involve myself in my social situations, I'd like to take up more sports but that's quite male orientated.

    I agree on 7 and I'm working on improving that, but I'm still skeptical that leads to a long term romantic relationship. I suffer from being incredibly socially awkward at times so coming across as less of that is a win for me.

    I'm afriad of no.9 i.e. talking to women, because I have this perpetual ability of coming across as a creep and weirdo due to my social awkwarness. And in the age of #metoo and other movements I'm increasingly paranoid I might end up doing something inappropriate.

    There's a reason why I never had a single female friend in my life. I fear if I start striking up a conversation with a woman at work or as random stranger they'll think I'm trying to chat them and I'm afraid of making them feel uncomfortable.


  • #973
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ancapailldorcha wrote: »
    if someone is autistic, awkward, very introverted, had an abusive childhood or for whatever reason struggles to make conversation with strangers then it's going to be very, very difficult. In fairness, you did allude to therapy but it's a real struggle for some people and if they're reasonably happy being single then often they'll content themselves with what they have.

    I do not agree.

    As a teenager I was very shy, awkward (due to shyness, I was not physically awkward - I was good at sports), introverted (again, shyness), abusive childhood.

    I don't have the autism bit, but I'm definitely "different" - wild, "maverick", mad, aggressive. Definitely not a "normal" person.

    Now, I did hook up with a large amount of women in my teens, but it took effort. Perhaps that is the big difference between me and other quiet guys - I put in the effort. I was a horn bag and didn't want to solve it via ****, so I put in the effort - #1 being around women; #2 talking to them.

    I'm none of those things anymore (still a horn bag). I'm very talkative, very confident (people here might think it's arrogance, but really it's just complete self-assurance), I've never solved the abusive parents part (I've done lots of therapy about this), but if you met me in real life you'd think I'm charming and fun.

    The reason I'm posting here is because I have empathy for the posts, and know you can also climb out of the hole you're in. You may not be exactly like me, but you can certainly improve your current situation.

    Getting a partner (woman) is not difficult. But you have to cover the basics. Don't look like ****. Do have some ambition. Do appear to be someone who can support a family.

    The other things like being funny, good looking, juicy dong, are bonuses. Cover the basics and you can meet women.

    Women are not complicated.

    Now, get yourself a little bit of muscle, dress well, learn how to have a conversation (GOOD LISTERNER) and you'll do very well.

    I'm married, I've had a few long term relationships, and in the few months between those relationships I slept with over 100 women. And I'm just average looking although I dress well and look strong.

    I'm not showing off, I'm trying to explain it's doable.


  • #974
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    Hi OMM,

    I already do 1-2, 4-5 and 8.

    I don't have any female friends so can't do no.3, I can't help doing no.6 because of my limited social life. Maybe I can take my hobbies and involve myself in my social situations, I'd like to take up more sports but that's quite male orientated.

    I agree on 7 and I'm working on improving that, but I'm still skeptical that leads to a long term romantic relationship. I suffer from being incredibly socially awkward at times so coming across as less of that is a win for me.

    I'm afriad of no.9 i.e. talking to women, because I have this perpetual ability of coming across as a creep and weirdo due to my social awkwarness. And in the #metoo and other movements I'm increasingly paranoid I might end up doing something inappropriate.

    There's a reason why I never had a single female friend in my life. I fear if I start striking up a conversation with a woman at work or as random stranger they'll think I'm trying to chat them and I'm afraid of making them feel uncomfortable.

    What do you work as?

    What's your degree?


  • #975
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,654 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I do not agree.

    As a teenager I was very shy, awkward (due to shyness, I was not physically awkward - I was good at sports), introverted (again, shyness), abusive childhood.

    I don't have the autism bit, but I'm definitely "different" - wild, "maverick", mad, aggressive. Definitely not a "normal" person.

    I wasn't speculating about you or anyone, just offering a non-comprehensive list of reasons why some people struggle.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • #976
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ancapailldorcha wrote: »
    I wasn't speculating about you or anyone, just offering a non-comprehensive list of reasons why some people struggle.

    Sure, and you're right.

    It's conquerable though.


  • #977
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    What do you work as?

    What's your degree?

    Sorry I misread parts of point 8, I don't own my home currently (but I'm hoping to change that in the long run). I did Electrical Engineering was working in that field but have given it up as I'm looking to go back to university and change my career, would like to do dentistry or medicine (my father who has since passed away was a doctor) so really I'm a bit of a bum at the moment long term I'm hoping to change all that. I have great ambition about my life but I wont likely have my career going until my late 30s, which is difficult.


  • #978
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    Sorry I misread parts of point 8, I don't own my home currently (but I'm hoping to change that in the long run). I did Electrical Engineering was working in that field but have given it up as I'm looking to go back to university and change my career, would like to do dentistry or medicine (my father who has since passed away was a doctor) so really I'm a bit of a bum at the moment long term I'm hoping to change all that. I have great ambition about my life but I wont likely have my career going until my late 30s, which is difficult.

    Sorry, do you mean you have an electrical engineering degree?


  • #979
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Sorry, do you mean you have an electrical engineering degree?

    I do yeah, I worked for an engineering firm for a number years, but since then have quit it.

    My father died only a few years ago so I've been sort of looking after my mum a little bit but long term I still have plans to have an ambitious and successful career if possible.


  • #980
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Sorry, do you mean you have an electrical engineering degree?

    What difference is that going to make?

    I mean, if his feeling of social awkwardness is so pronounced he's afraid to approach women... whether he has a degree or not doesn't really matter.


  • #981
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,654 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Sure, and you're right.

    It's conquerable though.

    For some people, sure. I think that as you get older however, significant change becomes more difficult.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



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  • #982
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    I do yeah, I worked for an engineering firm for a number years, but since then have quit it.

    My father died only a few years ago so I've been sort of looking after my mum a little bit but long term I still have plans to have an ambitious and successful career if possible.
    kunst nugget wrote: »
    What difference is that going to make?

    I mean, if his feeling of social awkwardness is so pronounced he's afraid to approach women... whether he has a degree or not doesn't really matter.

    OK. So here's my angle.

    Come to Asia. And work here.

    You'll be drowning in women.

    I can help you. I run a fairly large software company in Japan. We have offices in Japan, South Korea and China. So take your pick.

    (You should pick Taiwan, I can't help you get a job there unless you want to be an actor, but it's the best place in Asia).


  • #983
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ancapailldorcha wrote: »
    For some people, sure. I think that as you get older however, significant change becomes more difficult.

    I'm sorry, I'm not trying to argue, but again I don't agree.

    When you're older, change is more difficult, but being open to change, and being honest with yourself, is much easier.


  • #984
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    What difference is that going to make?

    I mean, if his feeling of social awkwardness is so pronounced he's afraid to approach women... whether he has a degree or not doesn't really matter.

    That's my feeling. I can have all the money in the world, dress well, own my car and home etc but at the end of the day I don't socialise well and I don't make friends easily.

    I'm just not a popular person. Life's a popularity contest and I don't do popularity at all well, a lot of people don't want to hang around with me, one could say you can fake it but eventually people can suss that out and they cop on to who you really are.

    There is no doubt that there's a realistic chance I may go through life without any sexual contact or romantic relationship, I don't want to come across as a creep, intrusive and desperate. So my philosophy is to try and live within my means and learn to accept who I am.


  • #985
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    What difference is that going to make?

    I mean, if his feeling of social awkwardness is so pronounced he's afraid to approach women... whether he has a degree or not doesn't really matter.

    The fact you chose to thank this post...

    You've given up?


  • #986
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ah lads

    lads lads lads

    lads

    can we not

    i mean

    can we please not


  • #987
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,654 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I'm sorry, I'm not trying to argue, but again I don't agree.

    When you're older, change is more difficult, but being open to change, and being honest with yourself, is much easier.

    Fundamental change is never easy, IMO. Often, it's worth it but a lot of people in this situation feel that it is not and the temptation to just give up can become overwhelming.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • #988
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ancapailldorcha wrote: »
    Fundamental change is never easy, IMO. Often, it's worth it but a lot of people in this situation feel that it is not and the temptation to just give up can become overwhelming.

    I think if you really want something, you fight for it.

    Look at your life - there are things you would fight for.

    It's the same problem obese people have - if they really want to lose the weight, they could. Now, I'm compassionate about food addictions, so I know their fight is hard, but if they really want it, they can do it.

    So I think a lot of single guys, **** to anime, playing computer games... the problem is they don't have the motivation to change. I think a big part of the problem is porn. Remove porn from their life and they'd probably make more of an effort to find a woman.

    I'm not judging people.


  • #989
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    The fact you chose to thank this post...

    You've given up?

    No, but I suffered form severe depression relating to the issue. I was suicidal (and attempted it) back when I was 25/26 struggling to coming to terms with who I was, why I was socially so odd, no friends, no social life at uni, my self esteem took an absolute battering. I felt worthless and collossal failure to my whole family.

    I did have counselling and some form of CBT therapy, but there is only so much they can do and I think just stabilising me was a success.

    So there's been a process and a journey of coming to terms with who I am over the past 6 or 7 years, what's realistic for me and what's not.

    I have to come to terms I'm just not like everybody else and there are limits to what I can achieve socially. I'm never going to be a popular person and just going life without constantly wanting to kill myself is a success moment. I don't think about plans future too much e.g. what I'll do in 2021, 2022 etc because I don't know whether my depression will take a turn for the worst and whether or not I'll still be alive by then. Its that serious.

    So to me fighting my depression and mental illness and staying happy/content regardless of what I do, how many women I bed or what relationships I'm in, is the main aim. I don't know whether being in a relationship will 'cure' that. Given how ruthless my illness is, being in a failed traumatic relationship, could be absolute disaster.


  • #990
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ThomasFlynn wrote: »
    No, but I suffered form severe depression relating to the issue. I was suicidal (and attempted it) back when I was 25/26 struggling to coming to terms with who I was, why I was socially so odd, no friends, no social life at uni, my self esteem took an absolute battering. I felt worthless and collossal failure to my whole family.

    I did have counselling and some form of CBT therapy, but there is only so much they can do and I think just stabilising me was a success.

    So there's been a process and a journey of coming to terms with who I am over the past 6 or 7 years, what's realistic for me and what's not.

    I have to come to terms I'm just not like everybody else and there are limits to what I can achieve socially. I'm never going to be a popular person and just going life without constantly wanting to kill myself is a success moment. I don't think about plans future too much e.g. what I'll do in 2021, 2022 etc because I don't know whether my depression will take a turn for the worst and whether or not I'll still be alive by then. Its that serious.

    So to me fighting my depression and mental illness and staying happy/content regardless of what I do, how many women I bed or what relationships I'm in, is the main aim. I don't know whether being in a relationship will 'cure' that. Given how ruthless my illness is, being in a failed traumatic relationship, could absolute disaster.

    Why aren't you still in therapy?


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  • #991
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Its worth noting that when I was a child, a lot of my best friends after a few years often ended up becoming my school bullies, and I moved school a few times and it kept happening. So I have strong fear of getting too close to people as they often end up abusing me, or taking advantage of me, because I 'weak' and 'easy'.


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