How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

kowloon · 04-06-2019 06:50PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

No they're not.

But if women want to try to avoid being used as a hole, they need to make the man wait.

If you know a better system, please tell me.

OMM 0000 · 04-06-2019 06:53PM

kowloon wrote: »

Very classy, very smooth, I'm learning a lot.

Galwayguy35 · 04-06-2019 06:57PM

Sure even if the OP lives in the countryside it's not like years ago where not many people could drive a car.

Hop in the car abd in to the nearest town or city and see what happens.

Lot's of single women are out and about at the weekend and looking to meet someone as well.

mdk_kdm · 04-06-2019 07:07PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

I'd open with something about how they are a good age and weight. Also I think "banging" should be in your message, works every time.

They didn't like that. Why would you do that to me?

kowloon · 04-06-2019 07:47PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Also if you live in a rural area and aren't into farming, watching your neighbours every move and GAA then your dating pool is going to be very small.

**** it so, Thai bride it is. Hopefully this time they poke the air holes in the box before they pack her.

04-06-2019 08:14PM

facehugger99 wrote: »

I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than learn how to linedance and go to country music festivals.

They're a bit like a bad stage production of seven brides for seven brothers at times alright.

pinkyeye · 04-06-2019 08:44PM

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm married to a very lovely woman (also beautiful) and had a lot of success over the years. YET I'M JUST AVERAGE LOOKING. This is what worked for me. It will work for you.

Women are attracted to men who appear to have their **** together, will probably be good providers in the future, and who look OK.

I'm aware some of the advice below is ridiculous.

1. You need good hygiene. Shower every day. Wear deodorant. Make sure your feet and shoes do not smell. If your shoes smell, throw them away. Floss every night. Brush your teeth morning and night. If you have bad breath, find out what's causing it. It's probably from your stomach. Caffeine / spices / alcohol are the usual culprits.

2. Go to the dentist twice a year. Get your haircut every month or two. You don't need a fancy haircut. Remember your goal is to look "OK".

3. Ask a female friend to help you buy clothes. You don't need expensive clothes. You need clothes which fit you, so get them fitted if necessary. Wearing classic clothes is a safe bet. By this is don't mean a fedora. I mean clothes which are plain and use dark colours. Also make sure you wear decent shoes. These can be boots, brogues or anything your female friend thinks looks sophisticated. Stop wearing trainers.

4. Stand straight. It will make you look confident.

5. Lose weight and gain some muscle. I'm not talking about being a bodybuilder. I'm talking about the kind of shape you can get into after 6 months in the gym. This is enough for women to think you look good. You will probably need to change your diet. Look into ketogenic. Your workout routine should be the one body part per week routine. For example, legs on Sunday, chest on Monday, back on Tuesday, shoulders on Thursday, arms on Friday. This is generally considered the best workout routine for gaining mass and recovery time.

6. Stop playing video games. Stop **** to anime. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Very few women are attracted to men whose idea of a good Friday night is sitting at home playing games online and then jerking off to Samurai Pizza Cats.

7. Learn how to be a good conversationalist. That means being a good listener. Show interest in people. Ask them questions about what they're talking about. Actually listen. Make some jokes.

8. Have some ambition. Have a goal. Work towards it. You don't need to become rich but you do need to be aiming for the sort of things women find attractive - owning a home, stable income, enough to support a family, enough to make her feel her man is a good man. This doesn't mean she's a gold digger. Women want stability. They want to be married to a man, not a man-child.

9. Get out there and get talking to women.

None of the above are difficult.

This is an incredibly patronising post.

None of the above is easy or simple. It's a very long list and if you think you measure up to all of them, then you're kidding yourself.

You're a good conversationalist with some muscle who doesn't have any bad habits, dresses well and smells lovely all the time? And you have a goal and life and that's what you aim towards? BS. No-one is that perfect.

If someone likes gaming why they give it up? That's what they like. Giving it up is not being themselves.

Btw, I'm not a gamer and don't understand it but I love reality TV which a lot of people don't understand either so we're all different. People love different things and the saying that opposites attract is VERY often true.

In some ways I think OP is being incredibly self defeatist but I think your post does not help at all. It's a total judgement and putting people down for being what they truly are. I'd prefer someone be truly what they are than pretend to be something they're not to get a woman.

It must be great to be so incredibly smug up on that happily married high horse.

joe40 · 04-06-2019 08:50PM

Is "Ireland's own" still going. The original dating app!!!

Wibbs · 04-06-2019 09:22PM

pinkyeye wrote: »

You're a good conversationalist with some muscle who doesn't have any bad habits, dresses well and smells lovely all the time? And you have a goal and life and that's what you aim towards? BS. No-one is that perfect.

Eh... so being able to have a chat with someone, dressing better, not stinking, being physically trim(NB he said not a bodybuilder) and having goals of some nature is "perfect"? What? There's a shit ton of men out there who have those areas covered or pretty damned close to it. Being able to hold a convo while not stinking is pretty low hanging fruit. Jaysus.

Feisar · 04-06-2019 09:34PM

pinkyeye wrote: »

This is an incredibly patronising post.

None of the above is easy or simple. It's a very long list and if you think you measure up to all of them, then you're kidding yourself.

You're a good conversationalist with some muscle who doesn't have any bad habits, dresses well and smells lovely all the time? And you have a goal and life and that's what you aim towards? BS. No-one is that perfect.

If someone likes gaming why they give it up? That's what they like. Giving it up is not being themselves.

Btw, I'm not a gamer and don't understand it but I love reality TV which a lot of people don't understand either so we're all different. People love different things and the saying that opposites attract is VERY often true.

In some ways I think OP is being incredibly self defeatist but I think your post does not help at all. It's a total judgement and putting people down for being what they truly are. I'd prefer someone be truly what they are than pretend to be something they're not to get a woman.

It must be great to be so incredibly smug up on that happily married high horse.

You might not like it but it was all solid stuff.

Opposites might attract but I bet the OP doesn’t have leggy blondes beating his door down. No offense meant to the OP.

Bunny Colvin · 04-06-2019 10:48PM

That was the most sensible piece of advice in the thread. Dress well, look well, listen and be engaging etc. All essential fundamentals. It might not work out but there's no doubt it would increase your chances tenfold if you're weren't already going with that script.

04-06-2019 11:03PM

pinkyeye wrote: »

This is an incredibly patronising post.

None of the above is easy or simple. It's a very long list and if you think you measure up to all of them, then you're kidding yourself.

You're a good conversationalist with some muscle who doesn't have any bad habits, dresses well and smells lovely all the time? And you have a goal and life and that's what you aim towards? BS. No-one is that perfect.

If someone likes gaming why they give it up? That's what they like. Giving it up is not being themselves.

Btw, I'm not a gamer and don't understand it but I love reality TV which a lot of people don't understand either so we're all different. People love different things and the saying that opposites attract is VERY often true.

In some ways I think OP is being incredibly self defeatist but I think your post does not help at all. It's a total judgement and putting people down for being what they truly are. I'd prefer someone be truly what they are than pretend to be something they're not to get a woman.

It must be great to be so incredibly smug up on that happily married high horse.

“None of the above is easy”??

So brushing your teeth, standing up straight, having some ambition, listening to what someone says, having a shower, dressing decently and not being too out of shape is difficult is it???.

And the poster is “smug” for suggesting this?

Well I suppose this is why the term “snowflake “ was invented. These things are just normal basic grooming and social tips for day to day life, never mind dating.

If people can’t take advice like that in the way it was meant, from someone who is happily married then they deserve to be forever single. If you want something badly enough you work on yourself to get it. Most women are not attracted to someone who makes no effort just because they want to “be themselves”. This works both ways, but women generally make an effort when going on a date.

Church on Tuesday · 04-06-2019 11:05PM

Feisar wrote: »

You might not like it but it was all solid stuff.

Opposites might attract but I bet the OP doesn’t have leggy blondes beating his door down. No offense meant to the OP.

All apart from number 3.

_blaaz · 04-06-2019 11:07PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

“None of the above is easy”??

So brushing your teeth, standing up straight, having some ambition, listening to what someone says, having a shower, dressing decently and not being too out of shape is difficult is it???.

And the poster is “smug” for suggesting this?

Well I suppose this is why the term “snowflake “ was invented. These things are just normal basic grooming and social tips for day to day life, never mind dating.

If people can’t take advice like that in the way it was meant, from someone who is happily married then they deserve to be forever single. If you want something badly enough you work on yourself to get it. Most women are not attracted to someone who makes no effort just because they want to “be themselves”. This works both ways, but women generally make an effort when going on a date.

Do people be turning up to dates smelling???

Bunny Colvin · 04-06-2019 11:09PM

_blaaz wrote: »

Do people be turning up to dates smelling???

You'd be surprised. There's plenty of people out there who still haven't grasped basic hygiene.

_blaaz · 04-06-2019 11:12PM

Bunny Colvin wrote: »

You'd be surprised. There's plenty of people out there who still haven't grasped basic hygiene.

Jesus christ

I would've taught showering and clean clothes etc would have been basic bread and butter stuff

CelticRambler · 05-06-2019 08:35AM

Bunny Colvin wrote: »

That was the most sensible piece of advice in the thread. Dress well, look well, listen and be engaging etc. All essential fundamentals. It might not work out but there's no doubt it would increase your chances tenfold if you're weren't already going with that script.

Yeahhhhh ... but ... it's also pretty useless advice if you're not already someone like the OMM, who's admitted that he's a city boy who thinks that meeting women in a pub watching sports is the way to go, and it's all about "the numbers". His final piece of advice:

9. Get out there and get talking to women.

is the most useless response on this thread so far, because that's exactly what the OP was asking for help with. How do you get out there and meet women, when you're stuck in the Midlands?

As for the other points, again it's all very basic, wishy-washy stuff that only applies to someone in a fairly sterile environment. Going to the gym? What gym? There is no gym. Chances are the OP is perfectly "fit" from chopping logs or hefting sheep or carrying bags of cement.

Get a female friend to dress you? Well, then you'll end up looking like someone she wants you look like; that's what mammies are for! In my circle, any woman who shows up to a dance in a short skirt, high heels and perfectly coiffed will be left on the sidelines in favour of some wan in bare feet with dreadlocks and a dress made out of scraps from the Oxfam bin.

There's a girl I fancy who stank of cat-wee when I first met her. She'd just been peed on by a wild cat, was absolutely drenched, and her first words to me were "I lovvvvve my job!" Neither the clothes she was wearing nor the smell off her counted for anything, because it was obvious from her eyes and her voice that she did love her job, and she was entirely comfortable being who she was, no matter how she looked (or smelt) to anyone else.

05-06-2019 08:43AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

Yeahhhhh ... but ... it's also pretty useless advice if you're not already someone like the OMM, who's admitted that he's a city boy who thinks that meeting women in a pub watching sports is the way to go, and it's all about "the numbers". His final piece of advice:

is the most useless response on this thread so far, because that's exactly what the OP was asking for help with. How do you get out there and meet women, when you're stuck in the Midlands?

As for the other points, again it's all very basic, wishy-washy stuff that only applies to someone in a fairly sterile environment. Going to the gym? What gym? There is no gym. Chances are the OP is perfectly "fit" from chopping logs or hefting sheep or carrying bags of cement.

Get a female friend to dress you? Well, then you'll end up looking like someone she wants you look like; that's what mammies are for! In my circle, any woman who shows up to a dance in a short skirt, high heels and perfectly coiffed will be left on the sidelines in favour of some wan in bare feet with dreadlocks and a dress made out of scraps from the Oxfam bin.

There's a girl I fancy who stank of cat-wee when I first met her. She'd just been peed on by a wild cat, was absolutely drenched, and her first words to me were "I lovvvvve my job!" Neither the clothes she was wearing nor the smell off her counted for anything, because it was obvious from her eyes and her voice that she did love her job, and she was entirely comfortable being who she was, no matter how she looked (or smelt) to anyone else.

You’re assuming an awful lot about OP . He’s already said he’s not a farmer or “farmery type”. He’s not hefting sheep and chopping wood . Maybe he needs to stay living where he is due to an elderly parent? Otherwise as previously stated by many posters if he is isolated , lonely, can’t make friends or meet women the choice is in his hands . Move , leave , explore options. We’ve only one life but we’ve tons of options.

KikiLaRue · 05-06-2019 08:51AM

My very rural hometown is a parish of about 800 people, with a town of maybe 5,000 people a 15 minute drive away.

In my hometown there are a bunch of pubs, a church choir, yoga and fitness classes (run in the local school hall), pub quizzes every week.

In the larger town there’s a gym and a pool, a football club, live music in some of the pubs every weekend, set dancing, a book club.

And 45 minutes away (a not-insurmountable distance) is Galway city, where there are festivals and fun all summer.

There’s always the opportunity to be social if you’re willing to put yourself out there.

Let’s take the example of two identical twins, Fred and George.

Fred goes for a few pints with his workmates on a Friday, plays 5-aside on a Sunday, hits the gym twice a week and takes classes instead of working out on his own, and at least every month or two he heads up to Dublin (or Cork or Galway) to catch up with old friends. Fred is on Tinder and sometimes he meets a girl off it, but more often he walks up to a woman he fancies in the pub and offers to buy her a drink. If he gets turned down, Fred doesn’t take it personally and he tells her to have a good night.

George has no real hobbies. After work he goes home and throws on a series on Netflix. Sometimes he buys a few cans at the offy but he doesn’t go out often and when he does, he will only interact with his own group. George scrolls through Tinder but there aren’t many women on it and when he does get a match, they never reply when he says hi. George is starting to resent these stuck up bitches.

Who do we think pulls more? Who do we think is more attractive (even though they are identical)?

facehugger99 · 05-06-2019 08:59AM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Who do we think pulls more? Who do we think is more attractive (even though they are identical)?

Does Fred get killed by an evil wizard at any stage?

Zorya · 05-06-2019 09:02AM

facehugger99 wrote: »

Does Fred get killed by an evil wizard at any stage?

Pfffftt. Of course not, careless George gets bitten by the undead. :rolleyes:

KikiLaRue · 05-06-2019 09:03AM

Zorya wrote: »

Pfffftt. Of course not, careless George gets bitten by the undead. :rolleyes:

Also they are both ginger.

KikiLaRue · 05-06-2019 09:05AM

Also, genuinely my number one tip for meeting new people is this: get a puppy. A really cute one. I’ve never talked to more people in my life since I got mine a couple of months ago.

Zorya · 05-06-2019 09:06AM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Also they are both ginger.

Okay, answer is neither pulls. :P

(joking, joking, there are very hot gingery men!)

KikiLaRue · 05-06-2019 09:08AM

Zorya wrote: »

Okay, answer is neither pulls. :P

(joking, joking, there are very hot gingery men!)

I have a friend who swears all ginger men have big willies.

Zorya · 05-06-2019 09:10AM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

I have a friend who swears all ginger men have big willies.

Cosmic balance, innit.

But let's not get started on the pros and cons of big willies, at least not before we find the OP a girlfriend.

CelticRambler · 05-06-2019 09:19AM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Who do we think is more attractive (even though they are identical)?

You've just set them up to be completely different!

There's no point in creating hypothetical, polar opposite situations to try and justify a response to a question the OP hasn't asked. And it doesn't matter how attractive he is (or isn't) if he doesn't get to meet any women in the first place.

And even then, getting out and getting involved doesn't necessarily improve your chances. I haven't seen another human for four days, despite being out of the house so I'm going dancing tonight, but it's 98% certain that I'll see exactly the same women (and a few men) that I've seen there before, all of whom are too old, too young, too married or just too ... mehhh.

Now you might say that I should take up some other activity to meet a different group of women, which is reasonable ... but then that'd risk losing contact with this group of friends, and I'd miss out on the loneliness-busting benefits of a stable social network.

KikiLaRue · 05-06-2019 09:24AM

CelticRambler wrote: »

:And even then, getting out and getting involved doesn't necessarily improve your chances. I haven't seen another human for four days, despite being out of the house so I'm going dancing tonight, but it's 98% certain that I'll see exactly the same women (and a few men) that I've seen there before, all of whom are too old, too young, too married or just too ... mehhh.

Now you might say that I should take up some other activity to meet a different group of women, which is reasonable ... but then that'd risk losing contact with this group of friends, and I'd miss out on the loneliness-busting benefits of a stable social network.

Why is it either or? Why can’t you go dancing tonight with your stable group of friends (any of whom might have an attractive friend visiting) and also take up a new hobby and meet new people?

You sound like you’re looking for problems rather than solutions.

05-06-2019 09:26AM

ladies, if i smell of piss when we meet itll be because ive pmsl at the idea that not smelling of piss is an unattainable bar for all but a few high performing studs

jfc

op, that long list of advice has a lot of solid stuff in it and youd be none the worse off giving whichever of the points you felt you could try a shot

and listen to the women in the thread.

you'll do no better if your aim is to get yourself into a better place for dating

Plopsu · 05-06-2019 09:32AM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Who do we think pulls more? Who do we think is more attractive (even though they are identical)?

I'd imagine George is mostly bewildered that all the Georginas seem to think they're going to end up with Fred.

How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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