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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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Comments

  • #482
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    Patty Hearst wrote: »
    Describing a man as tall and handsome is pretty much the same thing though.

    In any case that's exactly what Tinder is.. A marketplace to sell yourself.

    Describing a man as tall and handsome is the same as describing a woman as a good weight and age? They're the same thing?
    Really???


  • #483
    cgcsb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,114 ✭✭✭✭cgcsb


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    Describing a man as tall and handsome is the same as describing a woman as a good weight and age? They're the same thing?
    Really???

    well you could say 'a good height and bank balance', it's just a slightly different turn of phrase.


  • #484
    CelticRambler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,300 ✭✭✭CelticRambler


    Meanwhile, having accepted that dating apps are useless when you live in the sticks, the OP is still wondering how to find and/or meet a nice girl ... :rolleyes:


  • #485
    Fan of Netflix
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,167 ✭✭✭Fan of Netflix


    Sawduck wrote: »
    Never liked it myself,its just a picture and some cringy bio
    Yeah bio is usually some crap joke or none at all. Many pictures so heavily filtered and edited they don't even resemble the person irl. I'd rather chance chatting someone up in a pub or club, or something in person. Some of the other dating sites are a bit better I find.


  • #486
    Hedgelayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 530 ✭✭✭Hedgelayer


    If one can separate the gannets for the guys and Jocks for the women....

    I think there's different types of people and filters....

    Gannets are the type of women who are interested in shopping designer clothes expensive drinks, love eating in exclusive restaurant s etc
    They talk too much...

    Jocks love their designer shirts second hand Audi's beamers etc....

    Buying expensive drinks for the gannets....

    A dating site for men and women who are intelligent and have a good spirit and soulful outlook would be great...

    A more bohemian woman would suit me, unfortunately there's not many about on the apps


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  • #487
    KikiLaRue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭KikiLaRue


    Odhinn wrote: »
    ...ye know that people will go a long way to pretend they aren't just after the ride in order to get the ride?

    Yeah but I trust my own instincts enough that if he’s taken me on a lunchtime date I’ll know by the next date (if there is one) that I am also up for it. Winner winner.


  • #488
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    cgcsb wrote: »
    well you could say 'a good height and bank balance', it's just a slightly different turn of phrase.

    No its completely different. They aren't remotely similar.
    Regardless, no woman on this thread has described any men in such a way, but we did in fact have a man describe a woman as a good weight and age, which is what sparked this whole line of discussion.
    Talking about people as if they are cattle is unacceptable no matter what the gender. Stop defending it.


  • #489
    Fan of Netflix
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,167 ✭✭✭Fan of Netflix


    CelticRambler wrote: »
    Meanwhile, having accepted that dating apps are useless when you live in the sticks, the OP is still wondering how to find and/or meet a nice girl ... :rolleyes:
    That's another thing, good luck using any dating app or website in the countryside. Slim pickings if any at all and grim. I had to travel 3 hours to my last date. Waste of time outside cities or the surrounding areas.


  • #490
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    If one can separate the gannets for the guys and Jocks for the women....

    I think there's different types of people and filters....

    Gannets are the type of women who are interested in shopping designer clothes expensive drinks, love eating in exclusive restaurant s etc
    They talk too much...

    Jocks love their designer shirts second hand Audi's beamers etc....

    Buying expensive drinks for the gannets....

    A dating site for men and women who are intelligent and have a good spirit and soulful outlook would be great...

    A more bohemian woman would suit me, unfortunately there's not many about on the apps

    I understand the point you're trying to make, but I think you're being clumsy about it.

    Just because someone has money and likes to spend money on themselves (nice clothes, nice food, etc.) doesn't mean they're not intelligent or don't have a good spirit or don't have a soulful outlook.

    I agree to an extent that you can sort of make a judgement on someone based on how they dress, what they drive, etc., but I don't think you can judge them as being unintelligent or bad spirited or not soulful.

    I think you're shooting yourself in the foot if you exclude people who care about their appearance, like to spend money, talk a lot...

    Let me know if I'm misunderstanding.


  • #491
    KikiLaRue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭KikiLaRue


    Alan seems like a neat guy.


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  • #492
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    I'm one of those lads who's been through the ringer on the dating scene.

    It seems the people not on dating sites are the one's who are not monkey branching, giving sh1t tests and messed up....

    Looking back the old fashioned way seemed more organic and conventional....

    The internet scene suit's people with tollerence for drama or second best...

    Singletons who are not looking or people who are happy in their relationships have it easier.

    I'd never heard of monkey branching until reading this and after googling it, words fail me... do those mgtow types just spend all their time thinking up of different ways to hate women?


  • #493
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    I'm not saying women don't do it but there has been only one such post on this thread and it was a man describing a woman. Go figure.

    Comment made by an obvious troll tbf.


  • #494
    screamer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,191 ✭✭✭screamer


    CelticRambler wrote: »
    Meanwhile, having accepted that dating apps are useless when you live in the sticks, the OP is still wondering how to find and/or meet a nice girl ... :rolleyes:

    Macra


  • #495
    Fan of Netflix
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,167 ✭✭✭Fan of Netflix


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    If one can separate the gannets for the guys and Jocks for the women....

    I think there's different types of people and filters....

    Gannets are the type of women who are interested in shopping designer clothes expensive drinks, love eating in exclusive restaurant s etc
    They talk too much...

    Jocks love their designer shirts second hand Audi's beamers etc....

    Buying expensive drinks for the gannets....

    A dating site for men and women who are intelligent and have a good spirit and soulful outlook would be great...

    A more bohemian woman would suit me, unfortunately there's not many about on the apps
    Never heard the word gannet before, is that slang somewhere? Isn't jocks an American phrase?


  • #496
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,947 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Fan of Netflix wrote: »
    That's another thing, good luck using any dating app or website in the countryside. Slim pickings if any at all and grim. I had to travel 3 hours to my last date. Waste of time outside cities or the surrounding areas.

    Volume is going to be down in the sparsely populated areas but that's on every front, not just the apps.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #497
    Fan of Netflix
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,167 ✭✭✭Fan of Netflix


    screamer wrote: »
    Macra
    Country music nights also are big. I don't mind country music but not sure I'm that into jiving. The ladies and aul ones seem to love it mind


  • #498
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,947 ✭✭✭Feisar


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    I'd never heard of monkey branching until reading this and after googling it, words fail me... do those mgtow types just spend all their time thinking up of different ways to hate women?

    Off with them, clowns.

    The rest of us can spend our time thinking up different ways of loving women.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #499
    Plopsu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    No its completely different. They aren't remotely similar.
    Regardless, no woman on this thread has described any men in such a way, but we did in fact have a man describe a woman as a good weight and age, which is what sparked this whole line of discussion.
    Talking about people as if they are cattle is unacceptable no matter what the gender. Stop defending it.

    The poster who posted that was very obviously trolling.


  • #500
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    If one can separate the gannets for the guys and Jocks for the women....

    I think there's different types of people and filters....

    Gannets are the type of women who are interested in shopping designer clothes expensive drinks, love eating in exclusive restaurant s etc
    They talk too much...

    Jocks love their designer shirts second hand Audi's beamers etc....

    Buying expensive drinks for the gannets....

    A dating site for men and women who are intelligent and have a good spirit and soulful outlook would be great...

    A more bohemian woman would suit me, unfortunately there's not many about on the apps

    I think if you broadened your horizons a bit more and stopped trying to put everyone you meet into little boxes (gannets? jocks?) you might be pleasantly surprised at how many lovely people you can meet.

    Not all the things you listed are mutually exclusive, for example I know a woman who would be described as a "free spirit", she's very hippyish but talks more than anyone I know and is also the most easily would up person I've ever met - her temper is unreal.
    So does that make her an intelligent soulful person or a gannet?


  • #501
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    Feisar wrote: »
    Off with them, clowns.

    The rest of us can spend our time thinking up different ways of loving women.

    Put down the lotion and get your hands on that desk you!


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  • #502
    CelticRambler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,300 ✭✭✭CelticRambler


    Feisar wrote: »
    Volume is going to be down in the sparsely populated areas but that's on every front, not just the apps.

    That's the annoying thing about all those apps - they're designed for people who already have masses of choice, if they'd only look up from their phone when they're on the bus/tram/metro. The online environment should be the perfect dating solution for people in sparsely populated areas, if all the various apps didn't encourage users to filter by looks and distance.

    But that's where you need to get off the dating apps and onto a discussion group related to your areas of interest. Strike up conversations with other members who have no particular reason to be bragging about their height/weight/income/sexual prowess - so you're more likely to get an honest impression of who and what they are; if someone interests you, it's a natural progression to further chat by e-mail/phone/text and eventually meeting up.


  • #503
    SirGerryAdams
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 499 ✭✭SirGerryAdams


    As someone who's happy being single but at the same time likes going on dates etc. the best tactic is to be straight out.

    I use copy/paste messages a lot and tell them I'm not looking for anything serious. I try to keep the message high energy, positive. Throw in some smily faces and exclamation marks. Have a mixture of questions and statements and have something that will have them thinking like "you'll never guess what happened me on my bike today" or "you know who you remind me of?"

    I get plenty of responses this way, comments along the lines of "you're honesty is a breath of fresh air".

    It's a complete waste of time spending 10 minutes writing up a messaged based on someones profile. They're going to judge you in 5 seconds anyways and chances are they're not interested. Gotta value your time more.


  • #504
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,686 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I got a message from someone and his first message was "list 10 ways you could change yourself for the better" ! I laughed - surely it would just be easier to give a list of my faults. I didn't have time to reply!


  • #505
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    Fan of Netflix wrote: »
    That's another thing, good luck using any dating app or website in the countryside. Slim pickings if any at all and grim. I had to travel 3 hours to my last date. Waste of time outside cities or the surrounding areas.

    There is something in this actually.
    If I remember OP lives in the countryside. Or at least the ''midlands''. He has asked how is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century, but perhaps the problem is that the question is incorrect. It is not a question of time, but of space.

    Almost all of the men and women married hereabouts in the sticks, old folks and even young to middlin' age, traveled and met their loved one out of the area. My neighbour one side went to England, the woman the other side went to Cork. Further along they went to the local big town which was effectively the ''city'' to them. This was in the long ago now. The younger ones even nowadays are meeting lovers in college, city jobs, travelling abroad, and then maybe settling ''back home''.

    There are plenty who are single and in old age. Men who I would say never had sex. There are fewer women of that ilk because the women tended to leave and get jobs elsewhere, the men stayed with the farm.

    Maybe things have not changed. Maybe OP you need to move. That's what people did before, - they rather sensibly realised the truth of the matter and went looking out in the big wild world for their man or woman and then, maybe, brought them back home to the midlands.

    Off you go.


  • #506
    facehugger99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,915 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than learn how to linedance and go to country music festivals.


  • #507
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,093 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    KikiLaRue wrote: »
    It’s not a few, it’s almost daily.

    Do you think I’m “lucky” to have all these “options”?

    If these are the only messages you get, then no. However I assume you get some normal messages too?


  • #508
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,093 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Plopsu wrote: »
    The poster who posted that was very obviously trolling.

    Some on here should leave "good sense of humour" off their profiles.


  • #509
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,093 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Zorya wrote: »
    .

    Maybe things have not changed. Maybe OP you need to move. That's what people did before, - they rather sensibly realised the truth of the matter and went looking out in the big wild world for their man or woman and then, maybe, brought them back home to the midlands.

    Off you go.

    Also if you live in a rural area and aren't into farming, watching your neighbours every move and GAA then your dating pool is going to be very small.


  • #510
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,947 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Also if you live in a rural area and aren't into farming, watching your neighbours every move and GAA then your dating pool is going to be very small.

    I don't know about that.

    I'd say if one is good looking, affable and successful one should do alright even with the jersey pullers.

    On the jersey pullers, what's that all about? I get the celebrity surrounding players from the successful counties but getting my eye wiped by a Westmeath hurler!?!

    First they came for the socialists...



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  • #511
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,268 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    I think most people would like a partner of good weight and age. It could have been worded a bit better is all.


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