How do you think you'd react if a family member was convicted of murder?

#1 · 08-05-2019 03:12AM #1

I was thinking about this because of the case in Tipperary.
For starters I'd find it hard to believe that anybody in my close family would murder anybody.(I suppose a lot might say that).
However if they did and they admitted to it. I might support depending on how serious it was. I'd find it hard if it was a child/sexually motivated.
If they denied it tough and were found guilty by a jury. It would really depend on the evidence that was given in the trial. If it was very circumstantial I might believe them.

How do you think you'd react if a family member was convicted of murder?

gozunda · 08-05-2019 03:32AM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I was thinking about this because of the case in Tipperary.
For starters I'd find it hard to believe that anybody in my close family would murder anybody.(I suppose a lot might say that).
However if they did and they admitted to it. I might support depending on how serious it was. I'd find it hard if it was a child/sexually motivated.
If they denied it tough and were found guilty by a jury. It would really depend on the evidence that was given in the trial. If it was very circumstantial I might believe them.

How do you think you'd react if a family member was convicted of murder?

I think it would be even more difficult if it was your own child tbh ...

As horrible it would be to learn of a family member being accused and convicted of such a heinous crime- I'm not 100% sure how I would react. I'd like to believe that I would have the courage to believe the evidence and accept that a crime had been committed.

Though there are things that always need to be acted on imo. If you knew for example a family member had killed someone - but only you could report the crime , would you do it? Would you want them walk free?

Always Tired · 08-05-2019 03:41AM

If they got caught cuz they Googled something like 'how to make sure no one finds the body I stashed of this guy I murdered' and then a few days later was like, 'Hey everyone, I made a surprising surprising discovery' i would disown them for their stupidity.

But in my family we usually are pretty good about helping each other get rid of the bodies so that this awkwardness can be avoided altogether.

JoeEJ · 08-05-2019 04:08AM

There was scene in Coronation Street many years ago, silly soap opera stuff I know but it was where a girl killed her dad. It was kind of accidentally and the mother took the blame.

I was watching it with my dad and I said to him 'would you and mam do that for me?' And he said 'yes, you'd have to' without a doubt.

Edit: not relating to the Tipperary case - for me in that case personally I know none of my close ones are capable of that!

valoren · 08-05-2019 09:39AM

If you were close to the person then you'd be fully up to speed with the details of the case. It's tough to get a conviction for murder and if they were convicted then obviously the evidence would be pretty damning, national news level coverage. As it would go to trial based on their declaration of innocence then if they continued to declare their innocence in spite of a conviction they can rot for all I cared. They are responsible for their own actions and should face the consequences for their own actions.

On a side note, and on a lower charge, our dad was convicted of drink driving last Autumn and got a 3 year driving ban. Instead of accepting it, instead of holding his hands up and admitted to us that he had royally ****ed up it would be one thing but he was persistently belligerent about it and always looked to blame everyone but himself i.e. our mother was driving him to drink, it's her fault it happened, his friend should have taken his keys off him, it's his fault, someone must have seen him driving erratically and called the guards on him, it's their fault etc. With that in mind, given his lack of candor and acceptance of responsibility he could **** right off to be honest.

08-05-2019 10:35AM

It depends on the facts of the case.

If, as in this case, two members of the family were were somehow in conflict, and an outsider was killed in the process, I'd stick by them, but I'd be angry as hell for their having done that to the family.

I'm sorry to say it would be the relationships in the family involving all of the close relatives and their children that I'd be worried about, and the victim wouldn't be much of a priority. I'd find it shocking at first, but I reckon I'd move on from that pretty quickly and focus on the family.

Didn't know I felt that way until I really started thinking about it. Interesting question OP.

One eyed Jack · 08-05-2019 10:43AM

None of my family members have been convicted of murder, but I’ve known people that have been convicted of it, various reasons, some I could understand where they were coming from, some I just thought “nah mate, doesn’t justify it”. If it were someone in my family were convicted of murder, I’d probably be pretty much the same tbh.

KikiLaRue · 08-05-2019 10:45AM

I think I'd stand by my younger brother and probably not any of the rest of them.

I think I'd emigrate rather than face the media coverage.

....... · 08-05-2019 10:52AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

None of my family members have been convicted of murder, but I’ve known people that have been convicted of it, various reasons, some I could understand where they were coming from, some I just thought “nah mate, doesn’t justify it”. If it were someone in my family were convicted of murder, I’d probably be pretty much the same tbh.

Really?

Again, I am fascinated at how varied your social circle is!!

In just a few short weeks you have claimed to know women facing crisis pregnancies, a number of the 3000 or so transgender people in Ireland (including one as a next door neighbour) and now you know convicted murderers (plural!) as well!

Foweva Awone · 08-05-2019 10:54AM

It's hard to know. I've a friend who is awaiting trial, he's accused of killing the man who sexually abused him as a child. I'm not condoning what he did, but as a victim of childhood sexual abuse myself, I know all too well how it pervades every aspect of your life and of your thinking. I've never had violent thoughts against my own abuser (a relative), it's just not in me to physically hurt someone ... I just know that my friend is a good guy (although very damaged), I'll be devastated if he ends up in prison for years, it's just even more tragedy for all involved.

08-05-2019 10:57AM

....... wrote: »

Really?

Again, I am fascinated at how varied your social circle is!!

In just a few short weeks you have claimed to know women facing crisis pregnancies, a number of the 3000 or so transgender people in Ireland (including one as a next door neighbour) and now you know convicted murderers (plural!) as well!

is that a pisstake?

The only strange one there is knowing a convicted murderer.

We all know dozens of women who have had crisis pregnancies, and if you think you don't, you're kidding yourself. Many of us know transgender people, or have met them. One of my ex colleagues is trans, nice lady, keeps to herself. I've never met a murderer but I've seen some socially, know friends who know one or two.

Its not that unusual at all.

Foweva Awone · 08-05-2019 10:57AM

....... wrote: »

Really?

Again, I am fascinated at how varied your social circle is!!

In just a few short weeks you have claimed to know women facing crisis pregnancies, a number of the 3000 or so transgender people in Ireland (including one as a next door neighbour) and now you know convicted murderers (plural!) as well!

Not that unusual. I personally know dozens of women who have faced crisis pregnancies. I know one transgender person. And I know a couple of convicted murderers.

I've met most of the above in addiction treatment centres and groups. Not saying that's the case for the poster you've quoted, I'm just saying it's not all that impossible or unusual.

....... · 08-05-2019 11:01AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

is that a pisstake?

The only strange one there is knowing a convicted murderer.

We all know dozens of women who have had crisis pregnancies, and if you think you don't, you're kidding yourself. Many of us know transgender people, or have met them. One of my ex colleagues is trans, nice lady, keeps to herself. I've never met a murderer but I've seen some socially, know friends who know one or two.

Its not that unusual at all.

Well I could have given more examples, I only used the most recent ones.

I just find it fascinating that no matter the controversial subject that this poster (who tends to hold very conservative views) knows the relevant people - always multiples of the relevant people.

Its a gentle tease more than a pisstake.

However, I retract if its upsetting people.

08-05-2019 11:02AM

....... wrote: »

Well I could have given more examples, I only used the most recent ones.

I just find it fascinating that no matter the controversial subject that this poster knows the relevant people - always multiples of the relevant people.

Its a gentle tease more than a pisstake.

Selection bias. Unlike me, they probably offer opinions where they have some direct experience or knowledge. I'm sure they regularly see topics and think 'not my area of experience, can't comment'. I wonder what that's like.

One eyed Jack · 08-05-2019 11:04AM

....... wrote: »

Well I could have given more examples, I only used the most recent ones.

I just find it fascinating that no matter the controversial subject that this poster (who tends to hold very conservative views) knows the relevant people - always multiples of the relevant people.

Its a gentle tease more than a pisstake.

However, I retract if its upsetting people.

That what you call it?

I’d call it stalking someone online.

El_Duderino 09 · 08-05-2019 11:06AM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I was thinking about this because of the case in Tipperary.
For starters I'd find it hard to believe that anybody in my close family would murder anybody.(I suppose a lot might say that).
However if they did and they admitted to it. I might support depending on how serious it was. I'd find it hard if it was a child/sexually motivated.
If they denied it tough and were found guilty by a jury. It would really depend on the evidence that was given in the trial. If it was very circumstantial I might believe them.

How do you think you'd react if a family member was convicted of murder?

That's a question of whether or not you believe they did it. What if you believe they did it (whether they admit it or not). Lots of people keep in contact with family in prison even when they know they person is guilty.

The question is whether you would turn your back on a family member who murdered someone. Would you turn your back for moral reasons or because you'd be embarrassed to be associated with a murderer?

I'm not certain but I'd probably keep in contact with them and support them in their life in prison. That doesn't mean I'd make excuses for the murder or try to minimise their blame or guilt.

That's just what family does. Stand by each other

....... · 08-05-2019 11:08AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Selection bias. Unlike me, they probably offer opinions where they have some direct experience or knowledge. I'm sure they regularly see topics and think 'not my area of experience, can't comment'. I wonder what that's like.

Sounds interesting.

Back on topic, convicted murderers.

None in my family but a mates boyfriend was convicted and served his time, back in the 90s this was.

He was a grand guy, a bit dim and a bit rough around the edges. He was in a situation that erupted into violence and killed a guy. Some technicality made it murder rather than manslaughter. It certainly wasnt planned in advance. But in the moment he did something when he could have walked away.

If he was my family member I would have supported him because he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and he also claimed that he thought the situation meant that it was him or the other guy and he just reacted without thinking it through in a chaotic situation.

Id also support people who snap and murder their spouse/partner who has been abusing them for years.

....... · 08-05-2019 11:10AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

That what you call it?

I’d call it stalking someone online.

Aw Jack, we both post on the same website. Its not stalking, but if you think it is I will stop reading your posts. Or at least stop commenting on them.

I cant help it that your life is so fascinating when I see it written down.

MintyMagnum · 08-05-2019 11:14AM

Depends if I knew they did it.
Depends also if they pleaded guilty or not.

_Brian · 08-05-2019 11:21AM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I was thinking about this because of the case in Tipperary.
For starters I'd find it hard to believe that anybody in my close family would murder anybody.(I suppose a lot might say that).
However if they did and they admitted to it. I might support depending on how serious it was. I'd find it hard if it was a child/sexually motivated.
If they denied it tough and were found guilty by a jury. It would really depend on the evidence that was given in the trial. If it was very circumstantial I might believe them.

How do you think you'd react if a family member was convicted of murder?

I think we all have the ability to kill someone.

Motivation is the key, some seem to move to it Very easily while the majority of the population needs the sort of motivation that rarely comes about.

freshpopcorn · 08-05-2019 02:24PM

Well it's not murder but I know somebody who got caught with a large amount of drugs.
There family were anti drug and always said they had no time for dealers/etc.
When he got caught tough they did everything to get him off.

El_Duderino 09 · 08-05-2019 02:28PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Well it's not murder but I know somebody who got caught with a large amount of drugs.
There family were anti drug and always said they had no time for dealers/etc.
When he got caught tough they did everything to get him off.

Completely normal behaviour. People take all kinds of stances on principle but when push comes to shove and they are faced with the situation, then they take a more pragmatic approach.

How do you think you'd react if a family member was convicted of murder?

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