Where do you draw the line with comedy?

ILoveYourVibes · 04-05-2019 09:28PM

Potential-Monke wrote: »

After a bit of a heated exchange with a work colleague on this very topic. Is there a line in comedy? If so, where do you draw it? Are there certain topics you personally do not find funny, or do you believe in everything being fair game? Do you think that fresh, possibly horrific incidents which happen should be excluded from comedy, or how long afterwards can it be joked about? 22.3 years maybe?

I love playing devils advocate in a range of issues, and I rarely get a kick from the joke, but rather the reaction to the joke. Sometimes this causes me to come across as a bit of a dick, but meh, don't care. The exchange myself and a colleague had came after a joke about paedophilia. Most people have probably heard a paedo joke or 2, and it is a topic that is regularly joked about. So there was a joke, we all laughed. Then there were more taboo jokes, and one I made seemed to rub one of my colleagues the wrong way.

My joke was about cancer. Said colleague had a family member who was affected by it and let their butthurt be known. They didn't really have a comeback when I said 'What if someone here was affected by paedophilia, but it's ok to joke about that?', to which the reply was 'no one here was affected...'.

Queue the outrage when I tried to defend my personal viewpoint that either everything is fair game, or nothing is fair game. That, imo, is the fairest way to handle comedy. Some people laugh at jokes that others find disgusting, and vice versa. I don't believe it's fair for people to laugh at, say, paedo jokes, but you can't make cancer jokes. Both are extremely horrible experiences, but as paedophilia is not as rampant (I hope) as cancer, more people laugh at it.

So where are your lines? I don't have any anymore, and if I think something is funny, I'll laugh. If i don't, I won't, but I won't attack the person who said it, or the people who laugh at it. I find that the comedians who play on the edge of socially acceptable are funnier, but not taking away from the 'clean' comedians either. Jim Jeffries, Franky Boyle, Richard Pryor in his day, George Carlin, etc, the ones who push the boundaries of comedy.

And I know some of those are probably hated by people on here, but comedy is a personal preference. I'm sure there are comedians other people like that I hate, so each to their own and all that.

Its your intent.

Yes some jokes might hurt my feelings etc I don't say anything though. If the person didn't want to be mean i realize its just I am a sensitive person. And its good to be sensitive.

But because im sensitive i dont want to make the person telling the joke feel bad either.

And remember the best jokes don't punch up .....don't punch the underdog or people going through ****.

Punch successful people!

I am trying not to be overly sensitive though. Its very hard for me though.

buckwheat · 04-05-2019 10:07PM

There are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go 'ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

How Soon Is Now · 04-05-2019 10:08PM

If it makes me laugh that's good enough for me!

Mrcaramelchoc · 04-05-2019 10:08PM

Negro jokes.

freshpopcorn · 04-05-2019 10:12PM

Jokes don't really bother me at all.
In the work place you have to be careful.

When I was in sixth class Roebrt Holohan went missing and when we came back after Christmas the principal gave us this speech about how we must be afraid/erc. All I remember was people telling jokes about it.

04-05-2019 10:16PM

Very interesting thread, OP.

I wonder what exactly you mean by drawing the line. From your OP, I guess you're referring to the line between good taste and bad.

For me, that choice is entirely personal and can be justified on both sides of 'the line'.

I don't think anything should be prohibited, but I recognise that from my own perspective bad taste certainly exists. And my bad taste is another man's treasure, or so I think the saying goes.

In short, let's decide for ourselves what we choose to find funny, and f*ck anyone who seeks to impose the humour police on us.

Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that public utterances should be immune from public criticism when hiding under the protective cloak of humour. By all means, make bad jokes, but don't expect to be shielded from criticism in return. Nobody should ban a bad joke, but neither ban criticism of it.

KikiLaRue · 04-05-2019 10:19PM

OP are you going to tell us the joke?

BeerWolf · 04-05-2019 10:28PM

Everyone's humour differs, no line should be drawn. That being said you need to be tactful with who you joke with.

milehip · 04-05-2019 10:54PM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

When you're at work, I wouldn't make jokes on anything like rape, paedos, cancer etc. You're in a professional environment, it's not the time or the place. If I was you, I'd apologise to the colleague in quesion, you were out of line.

Outside of work, I have no limits on topics, but it depends what the subject and object of the joke are. I have no problem with a rape joke, but I'd probably laugh at a joke at the expense of a rapist and find a joke at the expense of a rape victim really distasteful.

Apologise for what exactly?

Everyone knows someone who's had some form of cancer, colleague needs to grow up or grow a pair.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die anymore than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Capt'n Midnight · 04-05-2019 10:55PM

Lord Glentoran wrote: »

Leave it to Mrs O’Brien.

Like a comedy series that would appear in-universe in Father Ted, but actually ran to two series on RTÉ in the eighties.

https://www.rte.ie/archives/2016/0331/778611-leave-it-to-mrs-obrien/

Legend has it they managed to export it to Nigeria.

kunst nugget · 04-05-2019 11:02PM

milehip wrote: »

Apologise for what exactly?

Everyone knows someone who's had some form of cancer, colleague needs to grow up or grow a pair.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die anymore than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

It's a work environment, it's not being down in the pub. You should have the maturity to act in a professional manner in your job and not piss off your colleagues. There's topics I won't bring up or jokes I won't say in work because I'm cognisant of the fact that they could offend.

KikiLaRue · 04-05-2019 11:03PM

milehip wrote: »

Apologise for what exactly?

Everyone knows someone who's had some form of cancer, colleague needs to grow up or grow a pair.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die anymore than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

For making an insensitive joke and then starting an argument over it.

There's a difference between being at work and being in the pub with your mates, or on stage at a comedy gig. Most workplaces have some kind of dignity and respect policy, employees are expected to maintain a certain standard of decorum.

OP could well face a meeting with HR if he doesn't handle the situation properly.

lbc2019 · 04-05-2019 11:47PM

Everyone that thinks they are all edgy and witty like Brasseye are usually unfunny people that can't judge the mood.

Yeah, yer Ricky Gervais... no, no your not.

milehip · 04-05-2019 11:50PM

KikiLaRue wrote: »

For making an insensitive joke and then starting an argument over it.

There's a difference between being at work and being in the pub with your mates, or on stage at a comedy gig. Most workplaces have some kind of dignity and respect policy, employees are expected to maintain a certain standard of decorum.

OP could well face a meeting with HR if he doesn't handle the situation properly.

I've reread the op post a few times and from what I can piece together there was other taboo jokes being thrown about previous to the 'cancer joke' that caused offence,
if colleague didn't take offence at those previous jokes, seems to me like diginity and respect have already gone out the window, they've surrendered their right to take offence they can't really go bringing HR into it.

Now if the 'cancer joke' was at the start of the routine and they took umbrage straight away I'd see your point.

I'd change jobs sooner that apologise to that hypocrite.

Edit: I'd like it if the op would clarify the situation more clearly. How many where present?
Location? Time? Did the colleague in question tell any edgy jokes themselves?

lbc2019 · 04-05-2019 11:52PM

Also, OP, I thought you didn't care? Seems like you do tho.

How Soon Is Now · 04-05-2019 11:54PM

Ive never heard a joke that i felt offended by in fairness.

I take the piss out of ''serious'' subjects all the time.

If you find something funny no matter the subject your brain obviously has that capacity.

05-05-2019 12:07AM

kunst nugget wrote: »

There's topics I won't bring up or jokes I won't say in work because I'm cognisant of the fact that they could offend.

and if you should accidentally offend, then what might happen?

There's nothing wrong with being courteous, it's very commendable, but it's quite another thing to carry on in a state of concern that something you say might offend, when it clearly wasn't intended.

There's so much talk these days of snowflakes, which is an overused, mildly hysterical term. I don't think the problem lies at all with so-called snowflakes, whose very existence I doubt, but with people who barely dare to speak at all for fear of upsetting some Unidentified Frightened Objects.

People are a lot more hardy than we often assume.

kunst nugget · 05-05-2019 12:19AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

and if you should accidentally offend, then what might happen?

Then I apologise and move on. It's not that hard.

I get on well with all the people I work with and we all have a good chat and a laugh but at the end of the day I'm not employed to test the boundaries of comedy in the workplace. After working over 10 years there, I know everyone's history and issues they have so I use a bit of common sense in terms of what I might say to certain people. That doesn't mean I walk around the office perpetually afraid of accidentally offending someone.

05-05-2019 01:02AM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Then I apologise and move on. It's not that hard.

That's quite fair, but I wasn't so much asking about any negative repercussions for you, as someone making a potentially offensive joke, as for them. Sometimes people will be shocked by a particularly outrageous joke, and they might even articulate that shock as revulsion. But soon, being human, it is forgotten about and it causes no residual harm to anybody.

Perhaps I'm reading your post too literally, but you seem to indicate that your reaction to someone else's offence is to apologise. What if that offence is irrational, or is in bad faith?

After all, human beings are not only equal in our capacity to do great things, but in our capacity to be spiteful and nasty.

More often than not, my jokes are terrible. Sometimes they are even offensive or, at least, could be construed as such. Rarely, they might even be maliciously construed as such.

I don't really disagree with a lot of what you are saying, I think you sound very courteous. I'd just be slightly more wary than you, I think, about an encroaching passivity in humour, where we are so preoccupied with being inoffensive that we cease to find joy and laughter in even the darkest aspects of human existence.

Andrew00 · 05-05-2019 01:16AM

Comedy and jokes about sex are the best imo

Muppet Man · 05-05-2019 01:30AM

Around 25 years ago in college, after something particularly stupid happened, I quipped to a small group of people - "no brain, no tumour". One of the group chimed in... "I don't think that's funny, my cousin died of a brain tumour", to which I responded, without thinking, "I doubt they are offended"

Stupid off the cuff remark and I Still feel bad about it...

kunst nugget · 05-05-2019 01:33AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

That's quite fair, but I wasn't so much asking about any negative repercussions for you, as someone making a potentially offensive joke, as for them. Sometimes people will be shocked by a particularly outrageous joke, and they might even articulate that shock as revulsion. But soon, being human, it is forgotten about and it causes no residual harm to anybody.

Perhaps I'm reading your post too literally, but you seem to indicate that your reaction to someone else's offence is to apologise. What if that offence is irrational, or is in bad faith?

After all, human beings are not only equal in our capacity to do great things, but in our capacity to be spiteful and nasty.

More often than not, my jokes are terrible. Sometimes they are even offensive or, at least, could be construed as such. Rarely, they might even be maliciously construed as such.

I don't really disagree with a lot of what you are saying, I think you sound very courteous. I'd just be slightly more wary than you, I think, about an encroaching passivity in humour, where we are so preoccupied with being inoffensive that we cease to find joy and laughter in even the darkest aspects of human existence.

I wouldn't be friends with anyone that is perpetually offended and if I was in a pub with my friends and someone came over to give out about the jokes we were making amongst ourselves I'd tell them to do one. I'm just about to sit down to watch the new Anthony Jeselnik's new special on Netflix and I totally love offensive comedy. The thing is if I'm being offensive in my humour, I'd want the people around me to be on board with it. I'll do that with my wife, my family and my friends... they know where I'm coming from.

If I make a joke about a spastic Jesus rimming Mary Magdalene, they'll be on board... more or less. Mary in accounts that's done the Lough Derg pilgrimage three years in a row definitely isn't. And no explaining to her that no topic is off the table in terms of comedy is going to change that. Likewise, I'm not going to make a crack about the Ana Krigel case to a client and then admonish them for being offended because that would be insane.

Humour can be great in dark situations but you have to take the lead from the person going through that dark situation or know them intimately enough that if you make the joke, they'll understand the context for it. A good friend passed away from cancer recently and we joked about her condition anytime we met up but it's a complete hell no to me doing that to a colleague or a client. Not unless I completely and emphatically know that they are sharing that joke with me. The chances are that realistically I'm never really going to be sharing that sort of intimate friendship with a colleague or a client - I didn't choose to actively have these people in my life, my employer did. Don't get me wrong, I get on well with the people I work with and the clients I have but I don't think of them at all once I'm not in the office. I keep a professional distance between them and my family and friends.

05-05-2019 01:33AM

Muppet Man wrote: »

Around 25 years ago in college, after something particularly stupid happened, I quipped to a small group of people - "no brain, no tumour". One of the group chimed in... "I don't think that's funny, my cousin died of a brain tumour", to which I responded, without thinking, "I doubt they are offended"

Stupid off the cuff remark and I Still feel bad about it...

It's that self-victimising cousin I feel sorry for. Doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong.

Junkyard Tom · 05-05-2019 01:39AM

I don't like jokes about disabled people, they make me think of my little Sister.

She used to call me a 'spastic'.

05-05-2019 01:44AM

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I don't like jokes about disabled people, they make me think of my little Sister.

She used to call me a 'spastic'.

Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeves walk into a bar, and...

Oh, wait

Birneybau · 05-05-2019 01:54AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I don't like jokes about disabled people, they make me think of my little Sister.

She used to call me a 'spastic'.

Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeves walk into a bar, and...

Oh, wait

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

See, there's edgy and then there's literally that, which doesn't even seem like a joke to me.

Junkyard Tom · 05-05-2019 02:18AM

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

Well I was setting it up like I had a little Sister who was disabled but it turned out the joke was on me!

Yeah?

YEAH?

Birneybau · 05-05-2019 02:32AM

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

Well I was setting it up like I had a little Sister who was disabled but it turned out the joke was on me!

Yeah?

YEAH?

Sorry, this damn quoting on phone. My comment was in relation to the follow up of yours.

05-05-2019 02:33AM

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

See, there's edgy and then there's literally that, which doesn't even seem like a joke to me.

i suppose the point of this is that this joke won't really affect your life, shall it?

It doesn't matter a jot whether you're disabled or not, gay or straight, white or black, you'll soon get on with your life. But for some time, however brief (no offence Junkyard Tom), most people will probably have smiled at his joke. Maybe they even laughed. How wonderful!

Let's not be a drag. If you didnt like the joke, move on. I promise, you'll have soon forgotten it.

Junkyard Tom · 05-05-2019 02:43AM

I think the general unwritten rule is that 'punching down' is the comedian being a cunt.

Where do you draw the line with comedy?

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