Have you ever had an online/real life stalker?

noubliezjamais · 01-04-2019 09:41PM #1

not necessarily someone following you around with a knife :rolleyes: but even something a simple as online harrasment on whatsapp, facebook.

01-04-2019 09:43PM

I've had to block a few, with no further thought given to them afterward.

RacoonQueen · 01-04-2019 10:01PM

Yes. Pathetic really.

Autosport · 01-04-2019 10:02PM

Ted and Seph do not answer the question

Tuco88 · 01-04-2019 10:21PM

I'd love to have a stalker for the craic, must be like hide and go seek.

Well seek a restraining order.

branie2 · 01-04-2019 10:22PM

No

JohnnyFlash · 01-04-2019 10:26PM

There’s one lad around here who follows me around from thread to thread like a beggar looking for change. He’d want to take a chill pill.

endacl · 01-04-2019 10:27PM

Sorry. Wrong thread. Thought you meant the other kind of stalker, OP.

Every morning, without fail.

metaoblivia · 01-04-2019 10:29PM

Yes, in real life. Years ago I moved to a new town to start my first job out of college. Some stranger became obsessed with me, starting sending me anonymous letters and gifts a few months after I moved in. At first I thought the letters/gifts were intended for perhaps the previous occupant of my apartment because I wasn't dating anybody and didn't know anybody. And then they stopped, so I didn't think much about it. Odd but small things started adding up over the course of a year - a strange car would frequently be parked a few spaces down from mine, even though there was no reason for it to be parked there. The back gate I always locked would occasionally be opened. A friend stayed over one night and we had a thunderstorm. He swore though that in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm, someone had been knocking on my front door. It all came to head after about 10 months after I'd moved in when he walked into my apartment one night, drunk. He did put his hands on me, but I was somehow able to de-escalate the situation and got him to leave. I did recognize him. Those stories they tell women about how nefarious characters will try to gain access to your apartment by pretending to be a repairman? The guy had come to my door a week earlier saying he was called in to repair my dishwasher. I didn't let him in because my dishwasher wasn't broken and I hadn't called anyone about it.

I ended up leaving for another state shortly after that. He freaked out and wrote a letter, which got forwarded to my new address that confirmed he had written the previous letters I received when I first moved in, etc. It was very upsetting. But that was the last I ever heard from him and that was a very long time ago. To this day, I don't know his name.

Then, when I moved out to California 5 years ago, some crazy old guy started following me home from BART. He would wait outside BART and start walking behind me. I changed my route 10 times - found me every time. He followed me into a store once and cornered me - I had to push him away. He would park his car outside of my apartment and watch my place for hours. I told him to leave me alone and stop following me. When he didn't, I threatened him with my taser. I called the police 6 times, but it's Oakland so they never followed up (several times after I called, someone got back to me 24 hours later and asked if I still needed a police person to come by).

I ended up breaking my lease and moved to another part of the Bay. Never heard from him again. And again - never knew his name. This time around I was more angry than scared. The guy was clearly not all there and kind of pathetic. I didn't feel high-level threatened, but I was upset that my space and my wishes to be left alone were not being respected and that the authorities weren't doing their part helping to resolve the problem.

Jim 77 · 02-04-2019 01:53AM

When I was a student, someone would call me on the house phone (1990s) and they'd drop the call soon after I answered. This went on for quite a while until one day I got annoyed and the caller probably sensing that I'd had enough, sang the old Captain and Tennille classic down the line, "Do that to me one more time, once is never enough with a man like you...." then dropped the call never to be heard from again. I've no inkling of who it was and after the last call I was kind of hoping they'd call again.

Also, when I was a student, I'd get these anonymous messages in my pigeon hole, stuff like "if you can guess who I am, you can fcuk me". Again that died out but I still would have liked to know who it was.

The cases above were mild and harmless and are not even in the same category as what metaoblivia had to endure.

Sam Quentin · 02-04-2019 02:03AM

@metaoblivia that's for real... Funk day sheeeet.
Thread closed nobody could beat that.

eviltwin · 02-04-2019 02:07AM

Yes and it was horrendous. It was a former friend who was behind it, he took umbrage at some of my life choices and decided I needed taking down a peg or two. He followed me online and would reveal personal information about me on various sites I posted to. None of what he said was untrue but it was very personal so not exactly stuff you want out there. Anyway it stopped when I threatened him with a solicitor, he had political ties and it would have been very difficult for him to have his actions made public

Sam Quentin · 02-04-2019 02:38AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Yes and it was horrendous. It was a former friend who was behind it, he took umbrage at some of my life choices and decided I needed taking down a peg or two. He followed me online and would reveal personal information about me on various sites I posted to. None of what he said was untrue but it was very personal so not exactly stuff you want out there. Anyway it stopped when I threatened him with a solicitor, he had political ties and it would have been very difficult for him to have his actions made public

And you did nothing about it.... You're such a chicken,.ffs you should have destroyed him.

pleas advice · 02-04-2019 03:20AM

I do wonder, what they say about me...

missyb01 · 02-04-2019 03:35AM

I was stalked by telephone for a about a year. Hundreds of calls a day. As soon as I answered, the phone with be hung up or else breathing down the phone. I thought I could handle for a while but it was making me paranoid; the calls would begin when I’d leave the house, stop until lunch time, then start back up again on the way home so I knew it was somebody who had a job. Eventually I changed my number but kept the old sim in an old phone. After months of being turned off, I switched it back on again to hundreds of messages calling me names, saying that I can’t hide from them and I won’t get away with what I did, that they’ll find me !!!!! With the messages obviously the number appeared and I began ringing it but nobody ever spoke. I gave the phone to my partner who starting ringing off his phone but showed his number so the person at the other end eventually spoke. It was a woman. She thought “the game” was funny cos we would never find out who she was. I’ll cut to the chase; In the end turned out to be a woman that lived on my road!!! She then started harassing my partner until one day himself and his friend knocked on her door and she sh*t herself. Never heard from her again

The Highwayman · 02-04-2019 04:43AM

I was a hotel duty manager in Dublin years ago. Every Friday and Saturday night I was working late and at the reception desk the phone would ring.

No voice on the other end, if I hung up it would ring straight back and the same again. If I left the desk the calls would stop after a bit. I'd come back and they'd start again after a while. I guessed it was someone, I've always supposed it was a man who lived in an apartment which had a line of sight through the glass front of the hotel. It only happened to me, I wasn't from the area so I'd no clue who it was.

It was only a problem when guests were at the desk so I'd just put the phone down and let him listen to whatever was going on *within reason*

After a while I'd talk to him and ask him to play music down the phone. He did!

It went on for a few months and the calls dwindled, they stopped eventually. He never spoke once.

Zorya · 02-04-2019 06:34AM

Used to run a site and a member that got banned for extremely sinister behaviour tracked down my gmail address and stalked me for years, dozens of emails a day, all insulting and rotten. Gmail don't have a way that I could find that will block a sender - instead their mail goes into your spam, so it sits there ready to overwhelm you when you open spam to search for a mail that hasn't arrived, for example. Hs trick was to put the grossest of words into the message title so even if you chose not to read the body of the email - and I did not read the mails after the first few - the title conveyed all the threat. He has cooled down for the past few weeks but it can erupt at any time.

When quite young and in my last year of college I went out briefly with a much older lad who was bad. Broke it off with him very quickly, but he started stalking me. It went on for months including him standing in the garden outside my bedsit at all hours of the night, staring up at my window. There was nothing that could be done, or so the police said, unless he attacked me, and so the day I finished my last exam I took a plane out of the country and didn't come back for several years.

Witchie · 02-04-2019 07:23AM

I had a few.

When in college I broke up with my boyfriend and he used to take a 2 hour bus journey to sit on the wall across from my apartment all day. I would leave for college in the morning and still be there when I came home. He would draw pictures of me and decorate with song lyrics and post into my letter box. He eventually gave up. Thankfully never felt threatened as such but it was irritating.

Then I hooked up with a guy one night and he kept calling and calling me. Even when he moved to America he called a few times a day. I got my brother to answer my phone once and tell him that I didn't have that number anymore and it stopped.

Another was this guy that no matter which bar or club I went to he would show up beside me. My friends thought I was paranoid at first then they started to notice too. One night I was in a club standing in a corner waiting for my friends to come back from the cloak room and he literally trapped me there leaning in with his hands on my shoulders saying "finally Ms Witchie I get you alone". I pushed him away and told him if he touched me again I would kick him in the balls. He later became a taxi driver and picked me up at my house which really freaked me out. He tried to chat me up but I didn't respond. Thankfully he got the hint.

Another guy I met at a club and thought he was my friend's friend so when he offered to drop me home I accepted. He wasn't drinking. So we had a bit of a snog and left it at that. He asked for my number but I wasn't interested so accidentally left out a digit A week later I went to get in my car to go to work and there was a note wedged in the door handle. It was from him asking me to call him so he could take me out.

I didn't call. A few days later, I came home for lunch and there was a note through my letter box saying he loved me and needed me to call him. I ignored it. Then a few days later I arrived home after midnight with my kids from a trip away. My youngest went to bed and my eldest was putting stuff away in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. It was him. I freaked out. He had obviously been watching my house. I told him to leave and never contact me or I would call the guards. Had to tell my son that it was a taxi at the wrong house in case he would worry.

Another was a guy who apparently saw me at a football match and wanted to meet me. He reached out on a forum and we started emailing. Every time we tried to meet some disaster happened. He broke his wrist, he had a car crash and was in hospital with cancer. I was a bit freaked out though coz he knew what I looked like but I hadn't a clue. He even saw me in his town one day as was passing through and described my outfit to me.

Eventually I told him I had a new bf and wasn't interested in meeting him.

Graces7 · 02-04-2019 07:27AM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

There’s one lad around here who follows me around from thread to thread like a beggar looking for change. He’d want to take a chill pill.

yep. same here.

JohnnyFlash · 02-04-2019 11:29AM

Witchie wrote: »

I had a few.

When in college I broke up with my boyfriend and he used to take a 2 hour bus journey to sit on the wall across from my apartment all day. I would leave for college in the morning and still be there when I came home. He would draw pictures of me and decorate with song lyrics and post into my letter box. He eventually gave up. Thankfully never felt threatened as such but it was irritating.

Then I hooked up with a guy one night and he kept calling and calling me. Even when he moved to America he called a few times a day. I got my brother to answer my phone once and tell him that I didn't have that number anymore and it stopped.

Another was this guy that no matter which bar or club I went to he would show up beside me. My friends thought I was paranoid at first then they started to notice too. One night I was in a club standing in a corner waiting for my friends to come back from the cloak room and he literally trapped me there leaning in with his hands on my shoulders saying "finally Ms Witchie I get you alone". I pushed him away and told him if he touched me again I would kick him in the balls. He later became a taxi driver and picked me up at my house which really freaked me out. He tried to chat me up but I didn't respond. Thankfully he got the hint.

Another guy I met at a club and thought he was my friend's friend so when he offered to drop me home I accepted. He wasn't drinking. So we had a bit of a snog and left it at that. He asked for my number but I wasn't interested so accidentally left out a digit A week later I went to get in my car to go to work and there was a note wedged in the door handle. It was from him asking me to call him so he could take me out.

I didn't call. A few days later, I came home for lunch and there was a note through my letter box saying he loved me and needed me to call him. I ignored it. Then a few days later I arrived home after midnight with my kids from a trip away. My youngest went to bed and my eldest was putting stuff away in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. It was him. I freaked out. He had obviously been watching my house. I told him to leave and never contact me or I would call the guards. Had to tell my son that it was a taxi at the wrong house in case he would worry.

Another was a guy who apparently saw me at a football match and wanted to meet me. He reached out on a forum and we started emailing. Every time we tried to meet some disaster happened. He broke his wrist, he had a car crash and was in hospital with cancer. I was a bit freaked out though coz he knew what I looked like but I hadn't a clue. He even saw me in his town one day as was passing through and described my outfit to me.

Eventually I told him I had a new bf and wasn't interested in meeting him.

To have one stalker seems unfortunate; to have 5 of them seems like carelessness.

Witchie · 02-04-2019 11:42AM

I think people take my politeness as a come on and then don't understand no, feck off.

....... · 02-04-2019 11:57AM

Years ago I helped organise a school reunion and made contact with a guy who I had had a bit of a childhood sweetheart thing going on with in school but had lost contact with in the intervening 10 years.

He came along to the reunion and it was fine and he seemed normal enough. However, for the next 5-6 years he would phone me at the weekends in the middle of the night, 4am-ish and leave long rambling messages about how much he missed me and was thinking of me. Nothing disturbing (except the fact that it went on so long) but I never ever once responded and yet it still went on for years. I felt sorry for him actually but I had deduced at the reunion that he had developed a bit of a drink problem so I just put it down to that. He seemed very lonely and pining after the past. He was so drunk in the messages I wondered if he even remembered he had done it. It eventually stopped after I changed my phone number (not for that reason) and some years later he sent me a friends request on Facebook which I promptly deleted.

Another event brought me into contact with another guy from school who I hadnt known very well. It turned out his life had gone badly downhill since school, crime and addiction problems. He started sending me these long rambling FB messages about how he wished his life had been different. Again, nothing too disturbing. I stopped replying eventually and then one day doing a clean up I unfriended him. A few minutes later he messages me a totally vitriolic and abusive email about unfriending him calling me all sorts and threatening to bash me etc... I found out from others that they had had similar experiences. I just blocked him and forgot about him.

Someone I know opened the front door to a guy who said he was from a utility company and needed to check something to do with her supply and she took a step back and he barged in through the door, produced a huge knife and beat and raped her, forced her to bathe to wash away evidence and then left. It turned out that the same thing had happened to other women in the area and the women all had the same physical characteristics so he was targeting women who looked a certain way. He had been watching the house as he waited until her partner went out to knock on the door. He was never caught as far as I know. I do not open my front door unless I know who is on the other side of it because of this.

sbsquarepants · 02-04-2019 12:03PM

Nothing too sinister, no threats or anything like that, but I had a one night stand one time who helped herself to my phone number and pestered me for months to hook up. Practically every Friday and Saturday night for about 6 or 8 months, getting increasingly lurid as the night progressed!

Shocking Joe, shocking.:eek:

fryup · 02-04-2019 12:14PM

Zorya wrote: »

There was nothing that could be done, or so the police said, unless he attacked me, and so the day I finished my last exam I took a plane out of the country and didn't come back for several years.

bit extreme

leave your friends & family for one creep? you let him win?

EmmetSpiceland · 02-04-2019 12:18PM

I wouldn’t say I’ve had anyone stalking me but I have encountered a couple of women who seemed to think there was more to our relationship than what was actually going on. That led to some online badgering and some irritating public “scenes”.

This was even when the terms of engagement had been set out from the start. After awhile they’d try to turn the “friends with benefits” thing into something more, trying to introduce me to family and friends. Inevitably it would end in tears, theirs, and claims they felt there was “something there” and that I was “the one”. There was never anything more than what had been agreed upon from the start, let me tell you.

From my own experience I’ve found that a lot of women have a hard time separating the physical from the emotional. They think there’s something more between you just because you can get them off a few times during one “encounter”.

Kamili · 02-04-2019 12:34PM

I've had one. 5 years of hell.

Through my local sports club I became very friendly with this girl who was engaged to this fella. Anyway we met up outside of the club for the odd coffee and became good friends over the next year or so. She would often ask me to help her on small details of the wedding and we met for a coffee at the hotel she was picking to get married in, she showed me around as she picked options, thought it was lovely to see and a bit of fun. Nothing sinister, and we got on really well.

Anyway eventually got to meet her fiance through her and called in to her house one day and got on ok with him. Thought nothing of it.
Happened a few times and he started showing up at the sports club and hung around afterward chatting with us.
Over time it happened more and more frequently till eventually (unbeknowns to me) he went through his fiance's phone, took my number and started texting me. I had been getting on well with him and she said she thought it was great I got on well with him too.

Anyway progressively got worse and worse. He would text at all hours saying all sorts of things, badmouthing his fiance and saying how she was horrible to him behind closed doors and a money grabber etc and how he would love a girl like me and how we would be the perfect couple. He was absolutely not my type and I was in no way attacted to him and made that clear. Destpite that it then progressed to him being very suggestive and inappropriate. When I rejected his advances he would then threaten to kill himself.

Of course I felt horrible about this but still didn't lead him on in any way at all. Made it clear he was due to get married and that the 7 phone calls an hour and 20 million texts about how much he loved me had to stop. There was no future for us. I took pity on him cos the fiance sounded like she was treating him really badly.

In the meantime the sports club I was in turned sour, people started being nasty about me behind my back and I wherever I went people were whispering behind my back. Even a longer term friend turned her back on me and stopped talking to me.

So I made moves to leave as I had found another closer to home that might work out. I moved and he shows up - repeatedly unanounced. Cornered me and tried to blackmail me again into a relationship with him while loudly badmouthing his fiance. Management gave me a warning over his behavior.

So again I had to leave this club. But at this point I told him to leave me alone and blocked him on social media.

He then went out of his way to contact each and every one of my friends, begging them to make contact with me to get in touch with him. His fiance even contacted me to beg me to rekindle the friendship. She couldn't deal with him at home saying how much he missed me and needed me back. Constantly.

This went on for 4 years, and each time he wasn't successful, he would then proceed to character assassinate and make up vile and disgusting lies about me to my friends, who in the beginning believed him.

It was a horrendous and dark part of my life at the time, and I was very isolated and vulnerable. I had very few friends left.

Thankfully my good and long term friend figured it out, after he pestered her for years to get her to contact me to beg me to contact him again (threatened her with the killing himself thing too unless she did it) reached out to me and we realised the truth.

He had appeared at the sports club she was still in and violently threatened her one day screaming and shouting about me and how dare she stand in his way of getting to me.

He had been telling people very nasty lies in the original club to isolate me so he could be the hero and come rescue me.

Once we had talked about this, we both went to the gardai and made statement.

He still badmouths and says nasty things about me, and I'm sure this is not finished, but its been nearly 5 years of hell. The guy is unhinged.

Oh and the fiance is still with him...

Badly Drunk Boy · 02-04-2019 01:06PM

Kamili wrote: »

Oh and the fiance is still with him...

What happened to the wedding she was planning?

Kamili · 02-04-2019 01:14PM

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

What happened to the wedding she was planning?

they're still engaged and living together from what I have heard. Original date got cancelled.

debok · 02-04-2019 08:01PM

I had a good friend who turned on me when we stopped hanging out . We were friends all our lives but last few years it was playing for a soccer club that kept the friendship going. I decided to give up playing because kept getting injured. For next few months I didn't see much of him but I was starting to getting funny reaction and vibes from old teammates if I'd meet them out. Eventually I found out he told them I was after having a bit of a mental breakdown. He also told them really personal stories from when we were young and embarrassing things . Last year I took redundancy from my job and got a nice lump sum. I had no bills so I decided to take a break and spend few months travelling. When I got back one of my friends said he was told I had got sacked because I was on drugs. I called him out on his bull**** but he denied it all. Worse thing is I did have few mental health issues in my teens and now I feel like everyone believed him because of that. I have just completely cut ties with him but rekindled relationships with a lot of mutual friends to show that it was all made up.

wyf437gn6btzue · 02-04-2019 08:34PM

My sister got stalked for a bit by a chap she used to go out with, he was a bit of a weird person. He started with the usual telling lies and sympathy stories when she was going to break it off.

She eventually broke up with him and he used to turn up and follow her on nights out, hang around our housing estate at odd times and make it part of his commute, tell lies about her to her friends.

I happened to be out one night with her and seen him in action, had a few choice words with him until the bouncer stepped in a f$cked him out. He chilled off a bit after that but is still weird whenever he sees her.

Apparently he did this to a few women. As a man I didn't understand it at all, he obviously has fairly deep rooted mental issues.

Marengo · 02-04-2019 08:42PM

Yes a mad Russian poet who was fascinated with hurling and wanted to promote it on a worldwide basis. Originally met me in my place of work. Her name is Mary Duniyva. She launched a High Court objection to the Dublin spire as she wanted her design used, she's a sculpture too. She wanted to paint me in a pair of shorts, no top, with a hurl in a 'Swan Lake' pose! Plagued me ringing work for 2 years and arrived in work a few times.

If you google her you'll find more about her.

Have you ever had an online/real life stalker?

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