Ever met someone with Aspergers?

jarvis · 13-03-2019 10:43AM

Aspergers makes my wee smell funny.

kylith · 13-03-2019 10:45AM

Wanderer78 wrote: »

I'm delighted with my new found label, and I'm hearing others are having a similar experience

My OH said the same. He was diagnosed in his 20s and being able to put a name to what was 'wrong' really helped him. He reckons I am too, but I don't see the point of getting a diagnosis since it doesn't really bother me and diagnosis is harder with girls because we're socialised to fit in better.

Sure, people with Aspergers can be weird, but it's fantastic to be in a relationship where you can actually have a conversation about 'This thing is annoying for X reason' and have your partner accept that, or to accept your quirks, or to just having friends who always check that you're ok with them doing something like hugging you and being conscious of accidentally offending or stressing you. My Aspie friends have never brushed off my feelings.

Bob Gray · 13-03-2019 10:47AM

Feisar wrote: »

We (builders) are a lot more sophisticated these days! He'll be A1.

Feisar = legend

Giveaway · 13-03-2019 10:52AM

Feisar wrote: »

We (builders) are a lot more sophisticated these days! He'll be A1.

Attention to detail and laser sharp focus despite the banter is a big plus for any construction related job or STeM in general.

Jimbob1977 · 13-03-2019 11:00AM

My son is Level One on the autism spectrum (high functioning). He would have been classed as Aspergers on the old scale.

He is very literal and has a fascination with certain topics. If you met him for a few minutes, you wouldn't notice anything. After a while, you would notice the poor social skills and the fixation on topics. He has no issues with bullying and he is very happy at school. However, his group of friends would be small. The fear is that he would be a 'loner' in later life.

He also has dyspraxia, which means that his gross and fine motor skills are poor. He doesn't like sports or physical exertion.

I reckon there are thousands of people in Ireland that are undiagnosed with Aspergers. Back then, people might have been classed as 'a bit odd' or loners. Their IQs tend to be extremely high.

Certain professions like IT, maths and accountancy would lend themselves to Aspergers employees. Logical, unemotive and no real need for major human interaction.

missyb01 · 13-03-2019 11:10AM

My boss has Aspergers. Highly intelligent academically but struggles socially. He has no problem if you approach him to discuss work matters. But if you need to discuss a problem in work or something as simple as needing time off for an appointment, he literally walks away. He is all about routine. For example if the receptionist is on holidays and another person is covering, he is completely flummoxed for the entire week.

If we try to forewarn him of changes, it makes him worse.

Wibbs · 13-03-2019 11:14AM

Met a fair number in my time yeah, with varying degrees of the condition(?). Most were like any other bunch of randomers, grand, with the occasional eejit. TBH some I found uncomfortable to be around for too long. The more "robotic" types of folks.

Jimbob1977 wrote: »

Their IQs tend to be extremely high.

That's a bit of a myth from what I've read on the subject. They can appear to be precocious as kids alright, but in one direction. That also puts pressure on folks diagnosed as they're expected to be boffins or nerds, when they may be just "average".

13-03-2019 11:20AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPm4cK8FCVw

Adam disproves the 'no social skills' angle

jam_mac_jam · 13-03-2019 11:23AM

I think it’s very sad how cruel we are to people who are in any way different from ourselves. Yes I have met people on the spectrum I am not sure if they had Asperger’s or the usual autism I am not fully confident I know the difference. Also, when I think back to “strange” people I knew when I was younger or as a child I can see that they were on the spectrum and the bullying and cruelness endured by people who are different is heart-breaking especially as children or teenagers.

As a socially awkward person myself who is quite shy my heart goes out to people treated badly for something that they cannot control, especially children.

I always have a soft spot for the "weird" kid.

Ariadne · 13-03-2019 11:24AM

I've met people that I suspect have Asperger's and I used to babysit for a little boy who has it. It was a challenge but not that much more than looking after another child, well for the few hours I was there anyway.

I have BPD and I wondered for a while if perhaps I had Asperger's before I was diagnosed with BPD. Both cause difficulties with social interactions and there does seem to be an overlap in the diagnosis. I suppose I know what it's like to feel like I'm just a bit odd, a bit different, that I seem to say the wrong thing so I tend to try to be careful with what I say to people I don't know, especially in work situations. The difference is that friends and family tell me that I don't say the wrong thing but that I just think I do, I'm not so sure. I worry less about saying something inappropriate with friends. I often feel like an alien who was just left here on this planet missing a manual in how to be a human so if that is even a tiny bit like what Asperger's feels like, I have a lot of empathy.

s7ryf3925pivug · 13-03-2019 11:32AM

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

There was a lad at school with me who I think may have had aspergers or some similar...condition (?) Anyway he came across as very intelligent, a real swat, sat in the front row of every class, always wore the school tunic and a proper knot in his tie and impeccably ironed uniform shirt/trousers, had a doctors bag as a school bag, worked his ass off in class and at home yet got well below average marks in exams etc He only had one friend who he hung around with while at school and so looking back id say yeah, he had no social skills to speak of.

If he got praise in class for something he rocked back and forth in his seat all proud of himself. We gave him a fairly hard time in class, the usual teenage Shiite like slagging and copying his rocking back/forth action.

I often wondered what happened to him after school, I have no idea how he got on his leaving cert but could be fairly certain that it was just an average result at best.

The rocking is a comfort thing. It indicates distress. It's also compulsive and suppressing it may be difficult. Obviously it's not cool to rip the piss about it.

cursai · 13-03-2019 11:33AM

DellyBelly wrote: »

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

You should leave your house more often so.

cursai · 13-03-2019 11:34AM

Succubus_ wrote: »

I've met people that I suspect have Apsergers and I used to babysit for a little boy who has it. It was a challenge but not that much more than looking after another child, well for the few hours I was there anyway.

I have BPD and I wondered for a while if perhaps I had Aspergers before I was diagnosed with BPD. Both cause difficulties with social interactions and there does seem to be an overlap in the diagnosis. I suppose I know what it's like to feel like I'm just a bit odd, a bit different, that I seem to say the wrong thing so I tend to try to be careful with what I say to people I don't know, especially in work situations. The difference is that friends and family tell me that I don't say the wrong thing but that I just think I do, I'm not so sure. I worry less about saying something inappropriate with friends. I often feel like an alien who was just left here on this planet missing a manual in how to be a human so if that is even a tiny bit like what Aspergers feels like, I have a lot of empathy.

What is BPD?

s7ryf3925pivug · 13-03-2019 11:34AM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I'm not sure if I've met someone with it. Do they wear tags?

provided with orange caps and earmuffs in Limerick. By an advocacy organisation. It's the stupidest sh!t I've seen. Obviously no-one uses them.

Ariadne · 13-03-2019 11:35AM

cursai wrote: »

What is BPD?

Borderline Personality Disorder or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, can be called either.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 13-03-2019 11:37AM

Enoch Dirty Buffalo wrote: »

provided with orange caps and earmuffs in Limerick. By an advocacy organisation. It's the stupidest sh!t I've seen. Obviously no-one uses them.

You'd think that would be the last thing a person with Aspergers would want. Being labelled and made to stand out in public.

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 11:37AM

apologies folks, i ll get back to this thread later, under a bit of pressure here

s7ryf3925pivug · 13-03-2019 11:38AM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

You'd think that would be the last thing a person with Aspergers would want. Being labelled and made to stand out in public.

Yes, exactly my point.

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 11:42AM

Enoch Dirty Buffalo wrote: »

Yes, exactly my point.

im very proud of my aspie label

13-03-2019 11:45AM

I have professional experience of people on the autistic spectrum. Some of whom needed full time care and had intellectual disabilities as well. More recently I have worked with adults who would be very high functioning. The interesting thing about them was their individuality to each other and similarity to the "rest of us".

What I mean is I wonder a lot about diagnoses. For so many people it can help to be finally given a label or an answer. They have a a ha! moment. I've seen the other side of that. How a label only perpetuates the feeling of difference and creates more problems, how personal responsibility goes out the window because its "the illness".

For me we are all incredibly unique with different circumstances and an inner world which is ours alone. I have yet to encounter a person who is 'normal' because I simply don't know what that means.

devlinio · 13-03-2019 11:58AM

Bob Gray wrote: »

Reading posts like this really gives me a lift, my son is 5 and in junior infants and sounds like he’s quite like your son, he’s very social, understands emotions too but has routines.
I see him getting confused at times but I also see him working really hard to understand things that are a little jumbled for him. However, his determination and drive to learn new things are unreal.

What is wrong with having routines? Is that not a normal thing to do?

Bob Gray · 13-03-2019 12:04PM

devlinio wrote: »

What is wrong with having routines? Is that not a normal thing to do?

If his routines are disrupted it can sometimes lead to meltdowns or sometimes I'll just see the frustration on his face as he's trying to suppress a meltdown.
Stringent routines are a common trait with autism/aspergers.

devlinio · 13-03-2019 12:20PM

Bob Gray wrote: »

If his routines are disrupted it can sometimes lead to meltdowns or sometimes I'll just see the frustration on his face as he's trying to suppress a meltdown.
Stringent routines are a common trait with autism/aspergers.

Oh. I get it now. I'm sure most people don't like there routines disrupted anyhow?

s7ryf3925pivug · 13-03-2019 12:20PM

Wanderer78 wrote: »

im very proud of my aspie label

Would you like to wear an orange cap and headphones so people know to be careful around you?

Giveaway · 13-03-2019 12:26PM

Bob Gray wrote: »

If his routines are disrupted it can sometimes lead to meltdowns or sometimes I'll just see the frustration on his face as he's trying to suppress a meltdown.
Stringent routines are a common trait with autism/aspergers.

And if more stringent routines were adopted by everybody else we would be more productive and the world a better place

Grayson · 13-03-2019 12:36PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I have professional experience of people on the autistic spectrum. Some of whom needed full time care and had intellectual disabilities as well. More recently I have worked with adults who would be very high functioning. The interesting thing about them was their individuality to each other and similarity to the "rest of us".

What I mean is I wonder a lot about diagnoses. For so many people it can help to be finally given a label or an answer. They have a a ha! moment. I've seen the other side of that. How a label only perpetuates the feeling of difference and creates more problems, how personal responsibility goes out the window because its "the illness".

For me we are all incredibly unique with different circumstances and an inner world which is ours alone. I have yet to encounter a person who is 'normal' because I simply don't know what that means.

yep. And the thing about ASD is that if you know a person with ASD, all you know about ASD is that you know a person with ASD. No two are alike.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 13-03-2019 12:40PM

Enoch Dirty Buffalo wrote: »

The rocking is a comfort thing. It indicates distress. It's also compulsive and suppressing it may be difficult. Obviously it's not cool to rip the piss about it.

I realise that now but as a 14 year old in the mid 80's, it wasn't something too may teens would have been concerned with.

Grayson · 13-03-2019 12:42PM

okatied wrote: »

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, when it was still being diagnosed.
Contrary to popular opinion, he gets sarcasm and can use it appropriately.
He has lots of emotions and can recognise them in others.
He doesn't stimm, but does like routine.
He's doing his Leaving this year and wants to be an apprentice as he is really good with his hands but I worry that he won't be able to get involved in banter on a building site.

I get sarcasm, I'm probably the most sarcastic person you could meet. there are certain social cues I'll miss though, like not knowing when to shut up, or not realising that the person I'm talking to has no interest in what I'm saying. It took years for me to get core relevant information down to a tee. I needed to learn how to only give relevant information to people. There are plenty of other strange traits I have but they just result in me being a bit odd. Not in a bad way either.

I've actually developed my small talk and banter over the years. I'll find myself walking home and rehearsing conversations in my head. I'll memorise jokes I hear on TV and just sprinkle them into conversation. It probably took about 15 years for me to develop that side of my personality.

Weirdly I've very extroverted. I love talking to people and learning about them. I'm the guy who wanders around a party chatting to everyone. I had a friend once who said the nicest thing about me is that I seem genuinely interested in everyone I meet.

And I do have that obsession with weird topics. I tend to learn about something new, consume every bit of information I can get and then move onto the next subject.

The thing is that most people I know never suspected I might be aspie and when I found out and told them they were all like "That makes so much sense"

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 12:43PM

Enoch Dirty Buffalo wrote: »

Would you like to wear an orange cap and headphones so people know to be careful around you?

id prefer if it was an orange helmet, with 'aspie, please fcuk off' wrote on it!

Grayson · 13-03-2019 12:46PM

Enoch Dirty Buffalo wrote: »

The rocking is a comfort thing. It indicates distress. It's also compulsive and suppressing it may be difficult. Obviously it's not cool to rip the piss about it.

I have compulsive foot tapping. Nothing to do with distress or anything like that. However it would annoy the fcuk out of me when people would ask if i'm ok.
The verbal tics are another thing though. they started getting worse in my 20's and they freaked me out. I can keep them under control when I'm in company or out and about but when I'm at home alone they tend to slip out. I'd be freaked out by these random words and sentences coming out.

Ever met someone with Aspergers?

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