Ever met someone with Aspergers?

noubliezjamais · 13-03-2019 05:09AM #1

Aspergers no longer exists but is now considered part of the Autistic Spectrum. One common trait is exhibiting high intelligence (smart conversations) but at the same time having no "social skills".

No social skills doesn't mean being anxious but most commonly has to do with inappropriate discussions with others. They sometimes come off as ass*oles to people (Dr. House).

I know a lad from Africa back in my school who fit all of these. He was diagnosed by a child psychiatry Very polite and quiet. Seemed normal...until you got to know him. Always had a fascination with three topics castration, death and 9/11. Everyone who knew him thought he's weird and an attention seeker.

s7ryf3925pivug · 13-03-2019 06:38AM

You can have social skills, you just might need to learn stuff that is obvious/intuitive to other people. Being direct and straightforward helps work around that.

Some things you're expected to do socially are nonsensical and insincere. Instead of expressing that they are stupid you can just do them kinda sarcastically. The people who care about that sort of stuff seem unaware.

Some people find things obvious and intuitive that neurotypicals have to learn.

The guy you refer to in your post had some social skills since he seemed normal and polite as you say. Interest in certain topics that seems obsessive is common. They're not necessarily dark or offputting topics. Discussing facts and concepts is enjoyable and makes sense in the same way social chit chat is sometimes nonsensical and can be stressful.

Social anxiety is common as a result of people deciding you're weird if you act in a way that you find natural.

A defining characteristic of Aspergers is no delay in speech development. The thing is you can be autistic and not fit the criteria for Aspergers and be very high functioning. You can have Aspergers and be highly incapable. I think the dropping of the Aspergers diagnosis was partly about not creating binary distinctions for what is very much a spectrum. [In fact it is a multidimensional combination of spectrums.] That and Asperger having been a Nazi.

rgodard80a · 13-03-2019 09:14AM

I work in I.T., so yes, definitely met a few in my time.

Also worked with a clinically diagnosed sociopath.
It's as if they have no "theory of mind", they just can't or don't try to understand what the other person is thinking.
He was some annoying f**ker though, reading random world news events at me from the web as if I was interested. Nothing a good set of headphones didn't cure though.

Your Face · 13-03-2019 09:26AM

Sounds like an excuse for unacceptable behaviour but what do I know, I don't even have a Twitter account.

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 09:37AM

I never met myself, thank God, that would be too weird

Bobby Baccala · 13-03-2019 09:49AM

Yeah there was a guy with Aspergers in my class in school, his favorite topics of conversation were the Holocaust, Jeremy Kyle and his phobia of salt and vinegar crisps. He was 3 or 4 years older than anybody in the class and creeped everyone out tbh.

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 09:52AM

Bobby Baccala wrote:

Yeah there was a guy with Aspergers in my class in school, his favorite topics of conversation were the Holocaust, Jeremy Kyle and his phobia of salt and vinegar crisps. He was 3 or 4 years older than anybody in the class and creeped everyone out tbh.

Poor chap, sensory issues are common with autism, have them myself, no where near as intense as they were though

DellyBelly · 13-03-2019 09:53AM

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 09:54AM

DellyBelly wrote:

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

People with autism aren't mad, we re just different, genetic quirk maybe?

Giveaway · 13-03-2019 09:57AM

DellyBelly wrote: »

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

It seems to be a label increasingly applied. Whether its a true increase in prevalence isnthe real question. A lot of funtioning people who would have been described previously as weird but harmless now get this label, when there was no need to apply a label anyway

Foweva Awone · 13-03-2019 09:57AM

I'm pretty sure I have it but have never been diagnosed. It's not just my opinion, several mental health professionals who've worked closely with me have suggested it. I just don't really see the benefit of getting a formal diagnosis at this stage of my life.

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 09:58AM

Giveaway wrote:

It seems to be a label increasingly applied. Whether its a true increase in prevalence isnthe real question. A lot of funtioning people who would have been described previously as weird but harmless now get this label, when there was no need to apply a label anyway

I'm delighted with my new found label, and I'm hearing others are having a similar experience

Wanderer78 · 13-03-2019 09:59AM

Foweva Awone wrote:

I'm pretty sure I have it but have never been diagnosed. It's not just my opinion, several mental health professionals who've worked closely with me have suggested it. I just don't really see the benefit of getting a formal diagnosis at this stage of my life.

Diagnosis has helped me greatly

Day Lewin · 13-03-2019 09:59AM

Everyone has.
Maybe that nerd with too much information who is unable to read body language, facial expression or tone of voice: his own flat monotone is one giveaway.
Female Aspies work hard to cover up and hide their lack of social skill: women are relentlessly punitive of outsiders. #Mean girls
Yeah, school was a nightmare.
Being smart was no compensation for being ostracised.
If I sound bitter, that's because...

There was no such word as Aspergers in my day. It hadn't been invented, as it were: I mean, named.
And now we're all "autistic" hmm...

okatied · 13-03-2019 10:02AM

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, when it was still being diagnosed.
Contrary to popular opinion, he gets sarcasm and can use it appropriately.
He has lots of emotions and can recognise them in others.
He doesn't stimm, but does like routine.
He's doing his Leaving this year and wants to be an apprentice as he is really good with his hands but I worry that he won't be able to get involved in banter on a building site.

Bob Gray · 13-03-2019 10:04AM

DellyBelly wrote: »

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

Why fortunately? Some of the most interesting people I’ve met, my son at the top of the list, have been on the autism spectrum or have had aspergers.

bencfc69 · 13-03-2019 10:09AM

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Diagnosis has helped me greatly

Can I ask what you find the benefits are of being diagnosed?

lainey_d_123 · 13-03-2019 10:15AM

I have it. It's extremely underdiagnosed in women and extremely difficult to live with, because women, even more than men, are expected to have good social skills and somehow just 'know' how to act.

And as you can see, there's an awful lot of ignorance and meanness towards what is essentially a disability.

Bob Gray · 13-03-2019 10:19AM

okatied wrote: »

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, when it was still being diagnosed.
Contrary to popular opinion, he gets sarcasm and can use it appropriately.
He has lots of emotions and can recognise them in others.
He doesn't stimm, but does like routine.
He's doing his Leaving this year and wants to be an apprentice as he is really good with his hands but I worry that he won't be able to get involved in banter on a building site.

Reading posts like this really gives me a lift, my son is 5 and in junior infants and sounds like he’s quite like your son, he’s very social, understands emotions too but has routines.
I see him getting confused at times but I also see him working really hard to understand things that are a little jumbled for him. However, his determination and drive to learn new things are unreal.

lainey_d_123 · 13-03-2019 10:19AM

DellyBelly wrote: »

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

Pity there's no cure for being a mean, ignorant person, isn't it?

Blazer · 13-03-2019 10:22AM

There’s some right dumb ****heads posting on this thread. Do yourselves all a favor and educate yourself by reading up on it.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 13-03-2019 10:27AM

There was a lad at school with me who I think may have had aspergers or some similar...condition (?) Anyway he came across as very intelligent, a real swat, sat in the front row of every class, always wore the school tunic and a proper knot in his tie and impeccably ironed uniform shirt/trousers, had a doctors bag as a school bag, worked his ass off in class and at home yet got well below average marks in exams etc He only had one friend who he hung around with while at school and so looking back id say yeah, he had no social skills to speak of.

If he got praise in class for something he rocked back and forth in his seat all proud of himself. We gave him a fairly hard time in class, the usual teenage Shiite like slagging and copying his rocking back/forth action.

I often wondered what happened to him after school, I have no idea how he got on his leaving cert but could be fairly certain that it was just an average result at best.

stevek93 · 13-03-2019 10:28AM

I believe we have very little knowledge about autism and when we meet someone with this diagnosis we think the worst about the individual and believe they are just not a nice person which is completely false and unfair.

RhubarbCrumble · 13-03-2019 10:29AM

I suspect my partner's niece has it, or some form of autism. She's 12. She won't really communicate with anyone outside her immediate family. She has certain routines and will have a meltdown if they're interrupted.
If her younger sister is sick and unable to go to school, then she refuses to go. Her parents have to come up to the school at lunch otherwise she won't go to the toilet.

She's due to start secondary school in September and I don't know how that's going to work because her younger sister still has a few years to go in primary so she'll be on her own.

Unfortunately for her, her parents are completely in denial and would tear the head of anyone who suggested that something is wrong, which isn't doing the poor child any favours.

Bob Gray · 13-03-2019 10:31AM

And that’s just it Blazer, it’s like the default option is that they’re mad or annoying, and it just proves the ignorance that’s there towards conditions that can’t physically be seen. But thankfully those sort of individuals are in the minority, the amount of empathy I’ve seen when my son has had meltdowns has been something I didn’t expect.

amcalester · 13-03-2019 10:34AM

DellyBelly wrote: »

Fortunately I haven't. Although I'm sure I've been in the presence of some. There seems to be more mad people around these days. Societies fault maybe?

Whatever about more mad people, there's definitely more ignorant arseholes around.

friendlyfun · 13-03-2019 10:34AM

I feel like a lot of people in thr wider public don't understands asbergera and just jump to conclusions like that person in weird etc.

Plopsu · 13-03-2019 10:35AM

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Pity there's no cure for being a mean, ignorant person, isn't it?

Surely the cure is just not doing it.

13-03-2019 10:38AM

I do wonder if it's simply another way of being in the world rather than a disability.

Canis Lupus · 13-03-2019 10:39AM

I'm not sure if I've met someone with it. Do they wear tags?

Feisar · 13-03-2019 10:39AM

okatied wrote: »

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, when it was still being diagnosed.
Contrary to popular opinion, he gets sarcasm and can use it appropriately.
He has lots of emotions and can recognise them in others.
He doesn't stimm, but does like routine.
He's doing his Leaving this year and wants to be an apprentice as he is really good with his hands but I worry that he won't be able to get involved in banter on a building site.

We (builders) are a lot more sophisticated these days! He'll be A1.

Ever met someone with Aspergers?

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