Are you a good person?

ToddyDoody · 10-03-2019 5:13pm

Toddy only looks out for one person.

Purgative · 10-03-2019 5:39pm

Really needs a poll

Gonad · 10-03-2019 5:42pm

I don’t think I’m a good person

I’m a ****ing legendary person !

Gimme A Pound · 10-03-2019 5:43pm

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. xxxx

mzungu · 10-03-2019 5:45pm

Mercy Beautiful Garage wrote: »

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. xxxx

lainey_d_123 · 10-03-2019 5:54pm

I've been told several times that I'm underrated. That I'm a really sound person, but I get overlooked all the time because I'm not loud/outgoing/cool. That's how i feel about myself, too, and it's draining. I see people who really aren't very nice people and do stuff like b1tch behind people's backs, cheat on their partners, generally act in a self serving way, and they're super popular and happy. It's frustrating. Especially when it comes to finding a relationship. It almost feels like a lot of people WANT someone headwrecking, who plays mind games, because they somehow find it exciting.

Pac1Man · 10-03-2019 6:03pm

Mercy Beautiful Garage wrote: »

But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. xxxx

All of the angels in the sky would be luky to have you working with them aswel babz. Xxxx I luv your tan in dat pic. Looks real, xoxo

Ariadne · 10-03-2019 6:04pm

Pac1Man wrote: »

All of the angels in the sky would be luky to have you working with them aswel babz. Xxxx I luv your tan in dat pic. Looks real, xoxo

Angles, rest is purfect bbz xx

Arghus · 10-03-2019 6:07pm

I think I'm reasonably good, but there's always room for improvement.

Gimme A Pound · 10-03-2019 6:09pm

Pac1Man wrote: »

All of the angels in the sky would be luky to have you working with them aswel babz. Xxxx I luv your tan in dat pic. Looks real, xoxo

aw tanx hun xxxxx ye I kno im no supermodel lol but beauty is on da inside xxxxxx

Arghus · 10-03-2019 6:12pm

The Satanist wrote: »

I don't care what they say

The Satanist doth protest too much methinks.

mad muffin · 10-03-2019 6:18pm

I’m a bad man

IamtheWalrus · 10-03-2019 6:21pm

As I approach my 40’s I’m increasingly consumed by guilt at anyone I’ve hurt in the past. It’s like my past is haunting me. I’m not even a bad person, just silly when I was younger.

Anyone else notice guilt increases with age. It’s almost like the older I get the more reflective I get and spend more time evaluating my life as opposed to living it.

Rosie Rant · 10-03-2019 6:24pm

I'm loving and kind and empathetic, at least I strive to be.

lainey_d_123 · 10-03-2019 6:38pm

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

As I approach my 40’s I’m increasingly consumed by guilt at anyone I’ve hurt in the past. It’s like my past is haunting me. I’m not even a bad person, just silly when I was younger.

Anyone else notice guilt increases with age. It’s almost like the older I get the more reflective I get and spend more time evaluating my life as opposed to living it.

I've noticed that those who should feel guilty, don't. I know a guy who is incredibly toxic and has left a long line of destruction behind him. He has a track record of ditching people going through a hard time (including his best friend when her new husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, myself when going through severe depression and various ex-girlfriends when they displayed any kind of emotional need), he's done some really sketchy things (pressured women into sex to the extent of it almost being predatory, used sex workers in developing countries...) and he still manages to create a narrative in his own head that he's a good person. He's obscenely selfish and callous, but good fun to be around, so people try to believe the best of him until they can't anymore. I tried to point out to him once how much he'd hurt me by ditching me during a terrible time, and he just didn't answer or engage. Mad.

Stacksofwacks · 10-03-2019 6:41pm

I think the good outweighs the bad in me but there is definitely a dark kind of self obsessed streak in me, that sometimes I even surprise myself with. I think alot comes down to your circumstances and how emotionally healthy you are

Trigger Happy · 10-03-2019 7:29pm

I could be a lot better but the effort.
I am content the way I am more or less.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 10-03-2019 7:45pm

I try to be, but it's difficult for any of us to know how others find us.

lainey_d_123 · 10-03-2019 7:48pm

Kellan Itchy Grub wrote: »

I try to be, but it's difficult for any of us to know how others find us.

And is the way they find us even the truth? I'm very often misread because I'm autistic. My lack of eye contact is taken for being sketchy or dishonest. My shyness and quietness is taken as aloofness and snottiness. Sometimes someone's opinion of you can say a lot more about them than it does about you.

Tuco88 · 10-03-2019 7:53pm

Well, apparently I am a prick. Not sure how that happened? but the answer was found in another thread. I happen to own an Audi you see... And the difference between us and a porcupine is, in an Audi the pricks are in the inside...

Oh.. and its a Diesel too dun dun daaa...

As a person im just behind Hitler and above the guy who invented the carpet gripper. So it seems.

Mad_maxx · 10-03-2019 11:17pm

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

As I approach my 40’s I’m increasingly consumed by guilt at anyone I’ve hurt in the past. It’s like my past is haunting me. I’m not even a bad person, just silly when I was younger.

Anyone else notice guilt increases with age. It’s almost like the older I get the more reflective I get and spend more time evaluating my life as opposed to living it.

You must not have hurt anyone to any real degree, bad people don't do guilt and don't have remorse for hurting people, they like hurting people

lbc2019 · 10-03-2019 11:23pm

I am generous but can be cranky

Tell me how · 11-03-2019 1:26am

Kellan Itchy Grub wrote: »

I try to be, but it's difficult for any of us to know how others find us.

I was discussing this to someone recently.

Instead of going to therapy for x number of sessions, imagine if you could send in 3 or 4 people individually who know you and have them speak honestly as to how they find you. Your strengths, weaknesses etc.

I think that that might be very progressive for a lot of people in therapy who are consumed by a lack of identity or feelings of self doubt as to their place in the world.

Trouble is, how truthful would these people be. Would they just try to make you look good? Or would they tailor their stories so as to make them look better where relevant as they might feel they were being judged.

Interesting concept if likely unworkable.

11-03-2019 2:02am

Tell me how wrote: »

I was discussing this to someone recently.

Instead of going to therapy for x number of sessions, imagine if you could send in 3 or 4 people individually who know you and have them speak honestly as to how they find you. Your strengths, weaknesses etc.

I think that that might be very progressive for a lot of people in therapy who are consumed by a lack of identity or feelings of self doubt as to their place in the world.

Trouble is, how truthful would these people be. Would they just try to make you look good? Or would they tailor their stories so as to make them look better where relevant as they might feel they were being judged.

Interesting concept if likely unworkable.

I have an alcoholic relative (recovering) who went through exactly this.

She was in a rehab treatment centre where we'd all go to, and she'd have to sit there and listen to how her addiction had affected us. I think it's called the Minnesota Model.

I think it helped her, but ironically, it was we who came out of it feeling terrible. Her addiction is biochemical, and definitely has a strong genetic component, and it feels wrong to lay guilt on a person who is probably genetically predisposed to such a personally devastating illness.

As I said, I think it helped her, in the sense that it motivated her. I suppose you could argue that the ends justifies the means. But if I could turn back time, I wouldn't have been part of it. It's an outdated model which is almost religious in its belief in the idea of 'free will', where everyone is deemed to have some kind of supernatural freedom over their on destiny.

Everything we know about human biology dismisses 'free will' as a false, superstitious idea, despite its social popularity.

Nevertheless, a lot of people do adhere to the opinion that the end justifies the means. I'm more skeptical about the notion of guilt-tripping anyone into recovery. Time will tell.

Stacksofwacks · 11-03-2019 2:30am

Tell me how wrote: »

I was discussing this to someone recently.

Instead of going to therapy for x number of sessions, imagine if you could send in 3 or 4 people individually who know you and have them speak honestly as to how they find you. Your strengths, weaknesses etc.

I think that that might be very progressive for a lot of people in therapy who are consumed by a lack of identity or feelings of self doubt as to their place in the world.

Trouble is, how truthful would these people be. Would they just try to make you look good? Or would they tailor their stories so as to make them look better where relevant as they might feel they were being judged.

Interesting concept if likely unworkable.

Its interesting but I hazard a guess it would be point less because we all have an image of ourselves of what we're like and how we appear to other people. This rarely if ever matches the reality and if you were given a profile of yourself your strengths and weaknesses etc based on 3 or 4 close people talking about likely the truth isnt going to be something you want to hear! I know I wouldnt. I think self reflection has to come from within

cannotlogin · 11-03-2019 2:34am

I'm good enough for me!

What anyone else thinks is irrelevant really!

realitykeeper · 11-03-2019 4:14am

Mad_maxx wrote: »

You must not have hurt anyone to any real degree, bad people don't do guilt and don't have remorse for hurting people, they like hurting people

Not sure why but I feel guilty when someone I know dies. Praying for them lessens the guilt.

Mad_maxx · 11-03-2019 9:05am

Tell me how wrote: »

I was discussing this to someone recently.

Instead of going to therapy for x number of sessions, imagine if you could send in 3 or 4 people individually who know you and have them speak honestly as to how they find you. Your strengths, weaknesses etc.

I think that that might be very progressive for a lot of people in therapy who are consumed by a lack of identity or feelings of self doubt as to their place in the world.

Trouble is, how truthful would these people be. Would they just try to make you look good? Or would they tailor their stories so as to make them look better where relevant as they might feel they were being judged.

Interesting concept if likely unworkable.

Too many with agendas to trust you would get an honest objective opinion.

Too many people enjoy offering psychoanalysis to others as is

11-03-2019 4:09pm

I don't think having others tell how they see you is a good idea. Their opinion may be shaped by their own prejudices and of course projections. It can also give a sense of power to the "teller" if they are that way inclined. No it's far better to develop our own inner eye and be sure of who we are without input from others.

I am not a bad person certainly but I do feel there are aspects of myself which aren't very pleasant. Funnily enough I'm suspicious of those who hold themselves to lofty heights of "I am so kind and caring and haven't a bad bone in my body". I believe we all have what Jung termed "the shadow self" and its vital to be aware of this part of ourselves.

Edited to clarify what I meant by input from others. Sometimes we do need help getting to a deeper understanding of ourselves but that's different to having someone say "I think you are x and y".

jimgoose · 11-03-2019 4:14pm

Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

Are you a good person?

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