Rip off charges for humanist ceremony in ROI

Just do the legal bit in a registry office during the week and have whatever ceremony you want at the weekend.

You can check with spiritualist solmenisers too, I believe there are more of them so it might be cheaper. We paid 400 I think.

As the previous poster mentioned you have prep, travel costs and the ceremony itself. Also, it's not like they would have many gigs a week - most people would want them on a Saturday at the same time I expect so it's not as if they're taking it in by doing loads of weddings a week / day.

€550 would be about standard for any non-civil solemniser, religious or otherwise.

The humanist celebrant will meet the couple at least once beforehand, contact back-and-forth about the order of the ceremony and selection of readings or whatever. Then you have travel and food costs on the day. €550 sounds expensive if you think that they're just turning up for half an hour. But they're not.

A civil celebrant by contrast is already at work and being paid by the state. The ceremony is just part of their day.

I don’t get the issue really. The humanist is doing the ceremony- that’s the whole point of the day.
I obviously don’t know what kind of wedding you’re having, but I doubt anyone would blink if a wedding cake maker asked them for €500, or the photographer asked for €1000 etc etc etc. There’s thousands of euro spent at weddings, for things that ultimately don’t matter. Yet, you don’t want to pay for the actual ceremony.

OscarCat77 wrote: »

My point is I suppose if the HSE got the finger out and allowed civil servants to work weekends I don’t think we would be paying anything near that amount! €400 to me is very expensive for all that they do, I went to a civil ceremony on a Saturday in England and it was done and dusted in 15mins amd it was done really well I am just a bit worried the whole humanist side of it will take over a bit what was you spiritual person like?

Very good, we were very happy with him. Described the ceremony to us really well and tailored it to our requirements of course. Similar to humanist ceremonies I believe, ring warming, ribbons around the hands - things like that but only what you choose yourself. Delivered the ceremony very well too in front of 200+ people so it's more than just signing a form as you suggest. Done and dusted in 25 mins too which I'd personally pay extra for.

Would be good if civil servants could work the weekends like in England I suppose, assuming they want to. Maybe a letter to your local TD or move the wedding to an English venue

OscarCat77 wrote: »

I do want to pay for the ceremony but I think €550 to say a few words and sign a form is too much €200 tops I was hoping to pay I don’t think I am being unrealistic here

You are being unrealistic with regard to the effort involved on the celebrants side.

Anyway, hope you find a better deal with the spiritualist society and best of luck with your big day!

We had a humanist celebrant for our wedding and it was money very well spent. Like others said, she helped us write the ceremony (or she had ready prepared ones you could modify), suggested readings, timings, all that. She met with us for a good 2 hours a few weeks before the ceremony to get to know us, so we were comfortable with her. She was there an hour before the ceremony making sure everything was set up right, that all the people doing the readings know where to stand, when she’s be calling them, asking how they’d like to be addressed, all that. Popped up to us directly before the ceremony to make sure we were fine, nerves ok.

Then for the ceremony she injected such warmth and personality into it that I don’t know many others - and certainly not a civil servant- could do. My brother had a regular civil HSE ceremony and tbh it was bland AF. The celebrant had zero personality. Ours had the skills to read the room, make some jokes and ad-libs to break the initial tension, all that. She was amazing.

I know I have incredibly warm and happy memories of our wedding ceremony, and we still, over a year later, get compliments on it, and on how great our celebrant was.

While €550 might seem a lot for a short ceremony, you are paying for someone with personality, good speaking skills (essential), social skills, all that. It’s like people who say about photographers “ah sure 2 grand is nice money for 5 hours work!” But it’s not 5 hours. More like 50.

bigpink wrote: »

How much would a church wedding be?

Depends on the church. If someone is very tight with the local parish, they may get it for nothing.

Most churches will suggest a "donation" to the church as a gift on your wedding. If you bring in a priest from outside the parish you may be "asked" to make a separate "donation" to his parish.

€500 all-in is around standard.

baby and crumble wrote: »

We had a humanist celebrant for our wedding and it was money very well spent. Like others said, she helped us write the ceremony (or she had ready prepared ones you could modify), suggested readings, timings, all that. She met with us for a good 2 hours a few weeks before the ceremony to get to know us, so we were comfortable with her. She was there an hour before the ceremony making sure everything was set up right, that all the people doing the readings know where to stand, when she’s be calling them, asking how they’d like to be addressed, all that. Popped up to us directly before the ceremony to make sure we were fine, nerves ok.

Then for the ceremony she injected such warmth and personality into it that I don’t know many others - and certainly not a civil servant- could do. My brother had a regular civil HSE ceremony and tbh it was bland AF. The celebrant had zero personality. Ours had the skills to read the room, make some jokes and ad-libs to break the initial tension, all that. She was amazing.

I know I have incredibly warm and happy memories of our wedding ceremony, and we still, over a year later, get compliments on it, and on how great our celebrant was.

While €550 might seem a lot for a short ceremony, you are paying for someone with personality, good speaking skills (essential), social skills, all that. It’s like people who say about photographers “ah sure 2 grand is nice money for 5 hours work!” But it’s not 5 hours. More like 50.

This is basically what I wanted to say. We paid about €500 IIRC - we got good advice about how to run the ceremony, plenty of contact in the months/weeks leading up to the wedding and a lovely ceremony.

I'm a bit of a miser generally speaking - and I never regret spending that €500.

OP you sound very angry, but I think you need to take some responsibility here. You said yourself:

OscarCat77 wrote: »

My wedding is on a Saturday and what I didn’t realise is you can’t get a civil ceremony on a Saturday

That's your fault that you didn't do your research ahead of time.

As everyone else has said, humanists do much much more than just show up for a half an hour. And given how expensive weddings can be, surely this is the one expensive that is actually worth it? You're not going to look back with fond memories about the chair covers, candy cart or basket of flipflops in the bathroom. But hopefully you will look back fondly on the actual ceremony, so it should be worth the (imo reasonable) cost.

woodchuck wrote: »

OP you sound very angry, but I think you need to take some responsibility here. You said yourself:



That's your fault that you didn't do your research ahead of time.

As everyone else has said, humanists do much much more than just show up for a half an hour. And given how expensive weddings can be, surely this is the one expensive that is actually worth it? You're not going to look back with fond memories about the chair covers, candy cart or basket of flipflops in the bathroom. But hopefully you will look back fondly on the actual ceremony, so it should be worth the (imo reasonable) cost.

Magdalena Unsightly Sludge wrote: »

Or just do the registry office thing and have someone say a few words on the day.

You have said this much better than I could.

OP there have been suggestions made above on how to do it cheaper (the register office, followed by a casual cermony on the Saturday for example) if that doesnt wash then pay the rate and relax and have a good day.

Even though I agree with OP that it is expensive, I also agree with the above; it wouldn't have taken much research to find out that a HSE solemniser is not an option at weekends.
I am actually a member of the humanist society and while I don't know the finer details of the financial process, as far as I know, all celebrants are supposed to charge around €500.. there's probably reasons for this that are financially motivated, of course, but there's also the fact that they appreciate that marriage ceremonies should reflect the gravity of the commitment being made etc. Might sound a bit condescending but there you go. There are only about 30 celebrants in the country, they won't allow people to become legal solemnisers willy-nilly, so I think overall, there's kind of an attitude of "we all need to respect the serious nature of a legally binding marriage".

On the other hand, every priest in the country is just automatically granted legal power to marry people - a reflection of how Ireland and the church are so intertwined - and being a priest is their full-time job, so whether it's "right" for them to be given €100+ for performing a wedding, given that they didn't have to invest any money to train specifically like humanist celebrants do, and given that you also have to do the Catholic pre-marriage course in order to get married in the Church, which costs something close to €200.. I don't see that it's THAT extortionate to pay a humanist celebrant, who more than likely work in the same jobs as the rest of us and therefore may have to take a day's annual leave & travel to do the ceremony, plus the couple of hours preparation, as others have mentioned..

It's just a perception, I get it - I did regard it as being expensive myself and I did opt for a HSE wedding but that was simply because I didn't really want any "extras" - I watched as many videos of weddings on YouTube as I could find and I knew myself that the HSE one would suit us because we didn't want anything like hand-binding or ring warming or anything like that, and our HSE solemniser was lovely anyway so it didn't feel any more impersonal than all the Church weddings I've attended where you've to sit through a whole Mass and listen to a doddery old priests forget names or try to crack jokes!! :-D