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Got myself in a bind

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Comments

  • #32
    Dalomanakora
    Closed Accounts Posts: 608 ✭✭✭Dalomanakora


    Reading your replies through this thread, it's glaringly obvious you're hoping and praying that your friend will make a move on you because you can't risk doing it and being rejected.


    Your poor wife deserves so much more.


  • #33
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    OP you are seeing her several hours a week (most people wouldn't have anything close to that for their best friend or a favourite hobby) and messaging her on top of that, you think she's absolutely gorgeous, she starts making suggestive remarks that need to be deleted, you keep turning them in your head...
    We all know where this is going don't we. What you are is well beyond friends, by allowing your meetings and messages to continue you are already giving yourself permission. At least own it.


  • #34
    skallywag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,035 ✭✭✭skallywag


    professore wrote: »
    Let's be honest here, pretty much any long term married person would love to have a few flings on the side if they could get away with it, and didn't have any moral compass...

    Disagree with you completely, though perhaps I am a minority of one.


  • #35
    zapper55
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 689 ✭✭✭zapper55


    skallywag wrote: »
    Disagree with you completely, though perhaps I am a minority of one.

    I doubt you are in a minority, I think it would eat many people up with guilt.


  • #36
    skallywag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,035 ✭✭✭skallywag


    zapper55 wrote: »
    I doubt you are in a minority, I think it would eat many people up with guilt.

    It's not just the guilt factor though, I believe that a large number of folk are actually happy enough with what they have and would just not be interested.

    This idea that 'every one would if they could get away with it' gets bandied about all to frequently, and I think it's just a fleeting attempt to try to tar everyone with the same brush.

    There are actually quite a few decent people about, despite what the Internet may think.


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  • #37
    zapper55
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 689 ✭✭✭zapper55


    Very true Scallywag. I'm surrounded by people in loving happy relationships. That's the norm in my experience. I see the odd few comments on here that all men/women are bastards/cheaters etc. But you'll only ever hear one perspective on a problem page like this one.

    Most people are pretty decent, try to do the best by their partners and like and lust after them. Op I think you came on here hoping to be told its grand nothing of concern with the friendship you have. But the way you speak of her is a pretty big symptom that you are bored, that you (and perhaps your wife) have taken your marriage and each other for granted.

    You want to feel more alive? Distance yourself from a person that you are emotionally closer to than your own wife, look at reigniting the spark in your own life and with your wife without third party involvement. I'm not suggesting it'll be easy or quick, but it'll be a damn sight better than the mess that will follow when you accidentally end up having an affair with the friend. You mightn't realise it but it's where your posts are heading.


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