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How can I let this guy at work down gently?

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Comments

  • #32
    Sugarloaf12345
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 77 ✭✭Sugarloaf12345


    Yes I do like him.. there’s something about him I find attractive. He is a good person and seems to look out for me based on questions he asks me. There’s just something pulling me towards him. Every time I see him I want to hug him. But he’s a different race and religion that’s the problem. Yes I am coming across shallow but in my place of work that’s the type of thing that would be talked about and make me feel uncomfortable


  • #33
    never_mind
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 915 ✭✭✭never_mind


    Sugarloaf12345 wrote: »
    Yes I do like him.. there’s something about him I find attractive. He is a good person and seems to look out for me based on questions he asks me. There’s just something pulling me towards him. Every time I see him I want to hug him. But he’s a different race and religion that’s the problem. Yes I am coming across shallow but in my place of work that’s the type of thing that would be talked about and make me feel uncomfortable

    Very unusual reason to not get with someone.. if you’ve made your decision and you’re not interesting in taking things further maybe don’t text him and phase him out of your life. You’re hurting an innocent person here- don’t be that person.


  • #34
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,571 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    How do you know it would be talked about in work? Have you witnessed people commenting on his race or religion? I think people aren't half as interested in our lives as we sometimes like to believe they are. If you like this fella, go for it. If you don't just stop replying to him and leading him on and giving him feeble excuses as to why you can't go for lunch with him. Just let the communication drift off. He'll be leaving soon.


  • #35
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Well you were honest OP, fair play.

    I definitely wouldn't tell him those excuses, like ever, or he'll likely be making this decision for you. Also I kinda got it more when you were saying "oh it's because I'm new in the job", or how he was moving, to the real reason. But it is what it is.

    I guess what it comes down is how beholden to other people's opinions do you want to be? Imagine if you two were destined to fall madly in love and one day get married and you never got to have any of that because you cared about what some randoms you work with, whose names you likely won't even remember in 10-15 years, thought. Seems kinda mental, no?


  • #36
    Sugarloaf12345
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 77 ✭✭Sugarloaf12345


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    How do you know it would be talked about in work? Have you witnessed people commenting on his race or religion? I think people aren't half as interested in our lives as we sometimes like to believe they are. If you like this fella, go for it. If you don't just stop replying to him and leading him on and giving him feeble excuses as to why you can't go for lunch with him. Just let the communication drift off. He'll be leaving soon.
    Yes he is on a team of two other Muslims and two girls I work with commented on their work performance before and lack of empathy.
    He knows the score now I told him we were just friends and he agreed to being friends. He also still continues the conversation so I assume he’s happy with that.


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