"if you want something done well, hire a working mother".

Hurrache · 23-10-2018 10:41AM

Ryland Prehistoric Jigsaw wrote: »

I'm not asking for censorship. Don't be ridiculous. I'm saying that newspapers should show a bit of sensitivity when quoting so called 'celebs'. And if they don't then yes, people should question and query. I'm sure people did it years ago when newspapers printed patronising quotes about working women, or working class people or whatever. And attitudes slowly changed.

Do you want the phrase mother knows best banned because the obvious implication is that motherless women are a bit dumber?

What about yummy mummy, mother earth, keep mom/mum, mother tongue, mother ship, like mother used to make, where do you stop, as women who can't have children may get upset at the mere mention of motherhood?

meeeeh · 23-10-2018 10:43AM

Ryland Prehistoric Jigsaw wrote: »

Or perhaps, sometimes, just sometimes, minority groups fed up of reading patronising comments come out and question them in an attempt to change attitudes. I doubt many people get offended by one stupid comment, but when they have to put up with a negative attitude over and over then damn right they will start to question. That's not outrage, by the way.

So women without kids and all men are now a minority group? Right.

Hurrache · 23-10-2018 10:47AM

Here's an article, from 3 years ago, from a woman focused website, written by a woman who was a full time mother, on why you should hire a mother.

https://www.workingmother.com/content/why-you-should-hire-mom

PlaneSpeeking · 23-10-2018 10:52AM

From my experience, if you hire a working mother you better not have any deadlines before 9am or after half three, nor when the kid has a dentist appointment, playdate, "poetry reading" (for a 4 year old, seriously!!!)

And that's after 30 years of "oh Plane can cover, she has no kids".

The hardest working parent I know is a father of three but apparently "he doesn't count" as the wife does the chores at home. So she f**king well should!!!!!

Hurrache · 23-10-2018 11:00AM

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

From my experience, if you hire a working mother you better not have any deadlines before 9am or after half three, nor when the kid has a dentist appointment, playdate, "poetry reading" (for a 4 year old, seriously!!!)

Is she a single mother? Because if she's not, the father needs to get the finger out.

PlaneSpeeking · 23-10-2018 11:03AM

Hurrache wrote: »

Is she a single mother? Because if she's not, the father needs to get the finger out.

The person I was referring to wasn't no, but I'd hear her often saying that "dads can miss events in school, it doesn't mean as much to them".

And others agreed! Thank God it was before FB and other social media, I got enough of a backlash for saying dads love their kids just as much as mums!

Wouldn't have thought THAT controversial!!!!!

eviltwin · 23-10-2018 12:14PM

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

From my experience, if you hire a working mother you better not have any deadlines before 9am or after half three, nor when the kid has a dentist appointment, playdate, "poetry reading" (for a 4 year old, seriously!!!)

And that's after 30 years of "oh Plane can cover, she has no kids".

The hardest working parent I know is a father of three but apparently "he doesn't count" as the wife does the chores at home. So she f**king well should!!!!!

That has to be extreme surely. I don't know any working parent who carries on like that. Most of the people I work with are mums, we are in a field where I think it gives us an advantage because a lot of our work involves de facto parenting. It doesn't make us better than the childless staff, it just gives us a different perspective and experience that helps our clients. Not one of the parents ever takes the piss. Yeah people can be late or sometimes leave early but there is always a good reason and the ones without kids do it as often.

PlaneSpeeking · 23-10-2018 01:03PM

eviltwin wrote: »

That has to be extreme surely. I don't know any working parent who carries on like that. Most of the people I work with are mums, we are in a field where I think it gives us an advantage because a lot of our work involves de facto parenting. It doesn't make us better than the childless staff, it just gives us a different perspective and experience that helps our clients. Not one of the parents ever takes the piss. Yeah people can be late or sometimes leave early but there is always a good reason and the ones without kids do it as often.

It was early 2000s and tbh the boss had a bit of a thing for her (one sided like but she played on it).

Tip of the iceberg was having to come back to work after the auntie's funeral mass and burial and missing the wake, that was the "poetry reading" occasion.

It's never gonna leave me that!!!

Currently I'm told in my job that anyone with a child under 18 is protected by the Equal Status Act, meaning we've had instances where parents of strapping teenagers who can pass for 27 are given special allowances and the daughter of a pensioner with dementia had to take unpaid leave to care for them.

I was very blessed in that my boss gave me ten days leave without saying anything when my dad went into the nursing home to help him settle in and a couple of early finishes when I was feeling emotional.

Mothers are important, sure I lost my own 26 years ago and feel the loss now, but they're not a sacred cow to be given all manner of exceptions and could easily be crap at their job!

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 25-10-2018 07:32PM

Yes meeeh. I would say women without children are statistically in a minority. But you don't seem interested in their viewpoint or in opening your mind a bit to how **** they can sometimes be made to feel by off the cuff comments that really upset them.

It's not so long ago that people considered it perfectly okay to constantly ask married women when they were going to start a family. Women who were unable to have children or were having difficulty conceiving began to speak out about how upsetting and intrusive that felt and people began to cop on and now only a really tactless person would dream of asking a question like that. But no doubt you and hurrache would have dismissed those women as being ridiculous and over sensitive.

My point is that if groups that are in a minority don't point out things that are said that make them feel dismissed or uncomfortable, those who haven't been in their shoes can't always be expected to realise.

meeeeh · 25-10-2018 07:46PM

Ryland Prehistoric Jigsaw wrote: »

My point is that if groups that are in a minority don't point out things that are said that make them feel dismissed or uncomfortable, those who haven't been in their shoes can't always be expected to realise.

Are you comparing not exactly serious comment about mothers to a woman struggling with infertility being constantly asked when will she get pregnant? Get over yourself.

hatrickpatrick · 25-10-2018 08:00PM

It's an amazing thing when neoliberal capitalism has managed to convince people that needing two incomes to raise a family and afford a home where one sufficed in the past is a matter of "liberation" or "progress". I have absolutely nothing against working parents, but it should be a choice, not a necessity as it now is for so many people.

It feels like people have been celebrating the death of gender roles so much (and rightly so) that they've failed to notice the more insidious development - that because of multi-decadal stagflation and growing income inequality, what was once about giving women choices and freedom has morphed into an inescapable obligation.

It's one of the reasons why I wish we could, instead of simply deleting the references to stay-at-home mothers in the constitution, amend it to a gender neutral article which would affirm that the state should ensure the ability of families to survive and live to a decent quality of life with one breadwinner and one homemaker. The fact that it references a particular gender is offensive and outdated, but the fact that it obligates the state to take steps safeguarding the sustainability of one-breadwinner families is a good thing, and indeed something the state should be doing more to observe.

HappyAsLarE · 25-10-2018 08:38PM

Have never met a working mother on a building site doing proper work.

Electric Sheep · 25-10-2018 08:47PM

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

From my experience, if you hire a working mother you better not have any deadlines before 9am or after half three, nor when the kid has a dentist appointment, playdate, "poetry reading" (for a 4 year old, seriously!!!)

And that's after 30 years of "oh Plane can cover, she has no kids".

The hardest working parent I know is a father of three but apparently "he doesn't count" as the wife does the chores at home. So she f**king well should!!!!!

This is my experience as well, working mothers are always asking for "flexibility" but that means flexibility for them to start late, stop early, take days off at short notice. It never seems to mean flexibility to work longer to meet a deadline or deal with a production issue outside of 9-5..

haley79 · 25-10-2018 09:12PM

Ryland Prehistoric Jigsaw wrote: »

Said by Maia Dunphy in the Irish Times this weekend.

Surely a very unfair statement. Could you imagine if someone said, in a national newspaper 'If you want something done well, hire a man/single woman'.

I've worked with lots of great and talented people and they cover the entire range: women, men, parents, non parents, older people, younger people.

Just wondering if anyone agrees with her.

maia is married to the guy from Ideal

but what she says is true and it is right to acknowledge the incredibly hardworking mothers in our lives

PlaneSpeeking · 26-10-2018 08:54AM

haley79 wrote: »

maia is married to the guy from Ideal

but what she says is true and it is right to acknowledge the incredibly hardworking mothers in our lives

Already ? She's still married to Johnny Vegas as far as I know - but separated.

"if you want something done well, hire a working mother".

Comments