The Breast Feeding Support Thread

Purple Lemons · 13-10-2018 03:41PM

I've been expressing every day and he has no issue with the bottle but even after being on the boob for 40/45 minutes I'll offer him a 3 or 4oz bottle which he'll guzzle but then roar until he's back on my chest. Dad isn't great help tbh, gives the odd bottle and changes the odd nappy but will happily sleep 11pm to 11am while I'm up trying to clean, entertain and teach a 2yo and feed and change baby constantly. I can deal with him being a lazy fart and I can deal with the exhaustion but I can't deal with the crying it's breaking my heart. I was thinking maybe he has reflux and is in pain but surely he wouldn't feed so long and often if this was the case. BF daughter for 5.5 months and yes she was up every hour or two for feeds, fussy at times but she didn't ever scream like this. Feeling bloody rotten and I can't even have a cry because the tears just won't come :pac:

lazygal · 13-10-2018 03:44PM

Your partner can't be staying in bed till 11am. That's just crazy with a newborn and busy toddler. Get his arse out of bed and stay there yourself.

Anne_cordelia · 13-10-2018 07:02PM

lazygal wrote: »

Your partner can't be staying in bed till 11am. That's just crazy with a newborn and busy toddler. Get his arse out of bed and stay there yourself.

+1000000 that’s disgraceful. At the very least he should be on toddler duty.

Babies with reflux can either refuse to feed or feed constantly as feeding helps numb the pain for them. It sounds like something is up be it reflux or a dairy intolerance or something. Are nappies ok? Any mucous/blood/foam in poop?
This is helpful: https://kellymom.com/health/baby-health/food-sensitivity/#fussy

Toots · 13-10-2018 08:55PM

Purple Lemons that's awful! I can't believe he thinks it's ok to have a 12 hour sleep while you're trying to deal with a fussy baby and a toddler. My niece had reflux and it was really similar to what you described. Her PHN was useless and basically just said it's normal. She was back at the doctor a couple of times and same thing - basically once she was feeding and having wet/dirty nappies all was well. My SIL ended up driving to A&E with her one night because she just wouldn't stop screaming and my SIL was at breaking point, she was roaring crying herself when she arrived. Few hours later she left with a reflux diagnosis and got some baby gaviscon and things improved.

Have you any family nearby that you could go and stay with until things settle down? Honestly, if it was an option, I'd have no qualms about packing up the kids and heading somewhere supportive if your husband is that useless. And I'd tell him exactly why you're going.

Toots · 13-10-2018 09:06PM

catrionanic wrote: »

Toots, when you say hold off for another hour or two between feeds, isn't that actually going to make supply worse? The more she tries to feed (even if she doesn't get much), the more you'll produce. The longer the gaps between feeds, the less you'll have.

I get what you mean about wanting to make sure your boobs have time to refill, but it might actually make things harder for you.

The more sucking she does, even if there's nothing there, the better.

I probably could have explained better

I meant she usually has her last feed at 11 but the very odd time she'll take a feed at about 9.30/10, which usually isn't a problem, but with the dip in supply I'd be worried she'd get frustrated and not settle at the last feed.

I think a lot of it is anxiety about being bitten. She bit me a couple of times before she got teeth, and while it was sore, it wasn't a big deal. I'd just take her off and tell her "ah ah" and then boobs go away for a good 10 mins. However she now has 2 VERY sharp teeth, and has gone from what was pretty much a nip, to clamping down hard and it's excruciating. Twice today she's bitten me hard enough to draw blood, and when I take her off she's hysterical, but I couldn't keep going to try and get the let down because I was bleeding all over the place. I've started having nightmares about the biting now, just to make things even more fun.

I went out and bought a tub of formula yesterday and the weirdest thing was I was able to do all the feeds yesterday. There was a point at about 5pm where she had a meltdown because I think she was over tired and just needed a tiny feed to get over to sleep but it wouldn't come fast enough. My husband reckons I was more relaxed because there was a backup if I couldn't feed her as opposed to it being boobs or nothing, so the pressure was off a bit.

annoyedgal · 13-10-2018 09:28PM

Purple lemons that sounds like could be reflux. As was mentioned in an earlier post sometimes babies feed constantly to try and soothe the burn. You could talk to you phn or doc about trying some remedies that might help.
Definitely echo the recommendation to cosleep. Hope things ease up for you, the crying is very stressful.

fits · 14-10-2018 08:39AM

One of my twins cried constantly like that. It was really really tough. We tried treating for reflux. He did vomit a bit. But in the end he just grew out of it. I’m still not certain it was reflux or just windiness. At least he settled in the car. I used to pack them into the car and head to the drive thru for a coffee. He also was happy in the nappers rocker thing we had my sympathies though it’s really hard

Toots · 14-10-2018 10:35AM

She bit me again this morning, there was plenty of milk so I don't know what prompted it, no warning and it caught be completely by surprise because she's never done it in the morning before.

She bit over the part she bit yesterday, so what was already tender is now very painful. I've put one of those multi man compresses on, so hoping that eases it a bit. Has anyone any tips to try and stop the biting?

catrionanic · 14-10-2018 10:49AM

Toots wrote: »

She bit me again this morning, there was plenty of milk so I don't know what prompted it, no warning and it caught be completely by surprise because she's never done it in the morning before.

She bit over the part she bit yesterday, so what was already tender is now very painful. I've put one of those multi man compresses on, so hoping that eases it a bit. Has anyone any tips to try and stop the biting?

Oh god, you poor thing. I can totally understand why you are anxious feeding her. I was lucky only to have a few instances of biting, but was nervous even at that. I'm sure someone else will be along soon with better advice than me, but do you watch her when she's feeding? I used to generally be able to anticipate from changes in the position of his mouth and pattern of sucking, when a bite was about to happen and I would take him straight off. It's also important to get a really good, deep latch, with her tongue right over her bottom teeth.

It didn't stop me being nervous during feeds, and meant constantly watching him. Not pleasant. From memory, the biting seemed to mainly happen in our last few weeks of feeding when my supply was dropping because I was pregnant again. So it's a bit of a vicious cycle of him not getting milk so biting in frustration, making me nervous about feeding, which in turn wasn't helping supply.

Hope you get some good advice on this. Sorry I can't offer more.

Toots · 14-10-2018 12:52PM

Yeah, it's absolutely a vicious cycle

I've been watching her like a hawk when feeding and I used to be able to catch her before she did it - at the end of a feed she'd start babbling with my nipple in her mouth and that was a sure sign a bit was imminent. Now, though it's harder to catch her because she comes off and latches back on a few times while she's waiting for the milk to let down, so when she's fully latched it's good and deep but it's the coming on and off that's the risky bit.

The worst part is she seems to think it's funny.

bee06 · 14-10-2018 05:04PM

I have a bitter as well. He’s been biting since he got his first teeth at 5 months (9.5 months now). I’ve done the whole taking him off, telling him no biting, be gentle etc but it doesn’t really work. He goes through phases when he’s teething or like last week he had a blocked nose so was constantly delatching because he couldn’t breathe. He bites when he latched as well so the constant delatching is the worst. I found giving him something to play when while waiting for the letdown means he stays latched better.

I actually stick my finger in his mouth when he’s latching when it’s really bad because he sometimes just doesn’t gave the patience to wait for me to check his tongue is out etc. He’ll just launch himself at me whether I’m ready or not.

He’s only broken the skin twice and the pain then was horrific. I did loads of lanolin before a feed, saline wash (1 tsp of salt to 1 cup of water) after, then multi-man compress and then I use the silver cups. It’s a pain in the arse though. If possible I use a different feeding position as well.

Toots · 14-10-2018 07:46PM

bee06 wrote: »

I actually stick my finger in his mouth when he’s latching when it’s really bad because he sometimes just doesn’t gave the patience to wait for me to check his tongue is out etc. He’ll just launch himself at me whether I’m ready or not.

That's exactly what my little one is like, she just goes for it and because she's big enough now she's latched on and all before I even get her into position, she's already sucking away. She's so fast she's bitten me before I can even check the latch. Yesterday one of the times she bit me she didn't even attempt to feed, she just bit me straight away. I thought for sure she was hungry because usually when she is, she just sticks her face in my cleavage, so it's a fairly good way of letting me know. She did that and as soon as I got a boob out she just bit me, gave me a big smile and then wanted to get down on the floor.

I don't know what to do. Since I posted earlier she's bitten twice more, and my left nipple is in bits. I'm in two minds about starting weaning - on the one hand I really wanted to get to at least the year mark, and when she does feed, I love the bonding and the cuddles. I'm not ready to give that up. I'm worried she won't need me any more, daft as that sounds, but feeding is the special thing we do together and I don't want to lose that.

On the other hand, the way things are at the minute, the thing that's usually an enjoyable bonding activity is now really stressful and upsetting. I've suffered badly with anxiety and depression in the past and so far I had been fine post-birth but this is really starting to get me down. I'm worried that if things continue as they are I'll end up in an awful state.

It's so annoying, because we both took to breastfeeding so easily, and in 8 months, I've never had any problems bar one or two blocked ducts, but it's been so easy. I thought I was home and dry, but obviously not.

bee06 · 14-10-2018 08:11PM

I was actually in the exact same head space last week. The pain was so bad I felt sick at the thought of feeding him and the thought of spending the next few months like that was just horrible. Thankfully he got over the cold and has stopped biting for now.

I don’t have any advice but I just want you to know that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling.

waterfaerie · 14-10-2018 08:25PM

That sounds awful Toots, you poor thing. I'm sorry I can't help because I have no experience of biting, thankfully. I do know that it's come up at breastfeeding groups before and lots of people will have experienced it so may be able to help more.

Can you get to a breastfeeding meeting? Or would you consider ringing a Cuidiú counsellor? They are free and they give advice over the phone.

In the meantime, try not to be so hard on yourself. You're doing an amazing job to get to 8 months and for persevering through this. There should definitely be ways to solve it without needing to stop feeding. You just need to get the right help.

Toots · 14-10-2018 09:47PM

Thanks guys, I'd be lost without this thread.

What way do Cuidiu counsellors work? Do you just find one in your area and ring?

catrionanic · 14-10-2018 10:14PM

Toots wrote: »

Thanks guys, I'd be lost without this thread.

What way do Cuidiu counsellors work? Do you just find one in your area and ring?

They don't even have to be in your area. You just get the list and make a start on it and ring each number until somebody answers. They are all volunteers so happy to be contacted at any hour. I remember ringing one in the early days and just crying down the phone!

That's for the over the phone advice. For the meetups, just find your local group on Facebook. They'll have a weekly schedule of support meetings so you just turn up to one. There's usually a nominal fee for non-members to cover costs.

Toots · 15-10-2018 08:14AM

That's deadly! I'll definitely give that a shot. I've also booked an appointment with my lactation consultant that I used in the beginning. It's tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping that will help.

I spent the night with the multi mam compresses on and they've certainly helped, although the left side is still very tender. She took a feed this morning at about 5.30 and that went great, she fed for ages and no attempts at biting, however she was still half asleep so I'd say that was why.

fits · 15-10-2018 01:06PM

That sounds really stressful toots. Hope ye get over it. I’ve had bitey phases but never bad enough to draw blood. One boys latch is terrible when he is teething though and I got badly chapped as a result. But it improved again. Good luck.

Toots · 15-10-2018 06:40PM

I think I must have done something to seriously anger the boob gods. I was making my porridge this morning, and as I was taking it out of the microwave, it tipped over and scalding hot porridge poured all over my chest - I was wearing a string top after feeding the baba, so there wasn't even any clothes to protect me.

Result? 2nd degree burns covering about half of my right boob. The breast pad saved my nipple from the porridgey deluge. It's blistering up and weeping all over the place. God knows what the lactation consultant will make of it when I arrive for my appointment tomorrow.

catrionanic · 15-10-2018 06:43PM

Toots wrote: »

I think I must have done something to seriously anger the boob gods. I was making my porridge this morning, and as I was taking it out of the microwave, it tipped over and scalding hot porridge poured all over my chest - I was wearing a string top after feeding the baba, so there wasn't even any clothes to protect me.

Result? 2nd degree burns covering about half of my right boob. The breast pad saved my nipple from the porridgey deluge. It's blistering up and weeping all over the place. God knows what the lactation consultant will make of it when I arrive for my appointment tomorrow.

Omg Toots you poor wee thing. You must be in so much pain. This is all you needed.

I hope it heals up for you soon and that the LC is a good help for you. Keep us updated!

Millem · 15-10-2018 07:32PM

Toots
My guy went through a biting stage. I changed positions to avoid redamaging myself! I used the purple cream can’t remember the name but it’s the one everyone buys.
When he bit I yelped in pain and put him in his cot (I only fed in the bedroom).
I wouldn’t feed again for a few minutes and when I did I helped him latch like the early days where you hold your boob in a c shape.
I heard great things about silver cups never used them myself.
Hope it sorts itself out soon for you.

On a positive note for me my supply has finally adjusted after 7 weeks back to work!! I no longer feel I am about to pass out by lunch

fits · 16-10-2018 07:26AM

Omg toots. That’s awful! You poor poor thing. How are you today?

Toots · 16-10-2018 03:44PM

Thanks everyone, mentally I'm feeling better today. I had the lactation consultant today and feeling much more positive after that. She prescribed me a cream for my nipples, and also a special burn dressing for my boob - it's blistered badly so need to prevent infection and keep it covered.

In terms of my supply issue, she feels it's hormonal because it came on so suddenly and she wants me to get my thyroid level checked. She's given me a note of what the levels should be for lactation and she reckons my thyroid is underactive. I'm dreadful with needles, but needs must and she said it should only be one little tube so hopefully I manage to stay conscious.

In terms of the biting, she said I'm doing the right thing by stopping the feed and saying ah-ah, but she said she'd go a step further and actually set the baby either down on the floor or in her cot to reinforce the message that she's not to bite. She also checked baby's mouth and mentioned that her teeth do seem to be particularly sharp. :eek: apparently the 8/9 month mark is peak biting time.

Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare · 16-10-2018 07:46PM

Hi, apologies if this is in the wrong section, it's my first time posting in this forum. My wife is feeding our fourth child and is starting to find it very tough the last month or so, we are starting to try wean the baby onto bottles but are having no joy whatsoever.
He will not take any bottle, we have tried 3 different brands (tommy tippee, dr browns and nox)as well as a kind of fake boob contraption thingy that he just will not latch onto. Hes 5 months old so I was going to start him on baby rice but again nothing. I am wondering if anyone here has any tips or tricks to get this moving a bit faster. There was no hassle with the other babies moving over to bottles.
I should add that we have tried breast milk, formula and a goats milk formula aswell in the bottles, I'd just like to be able to do the night feeds so she can have a decent nights sleep for a change so all and any advice is appreciated.

bee06 · 16-10-2018 07:48PM

Have you tried some thing other than a bottle ... sippy cup, open cup, shot glass?

Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare · 16-10-2018 08:06PM

bee06 wrote: »

Have you tried some thing other than a bottle ... sippy cup, open cup, shot glass?

No but I will now, never even thought of a sippy cup as he's so young, I got about 3x 5ml dosing syringes into him a few days ago.

annoyedgal · 16-10-2018 08:26PM

The miracle cup 360 is a great cup if he is old enough. Following these suggestions as my son developed bottle refusal at 8 months and no amount of tricks or perseverance would work. He would go hungry rather than take it so I gave up trying.
Hoping it won't happen this time although being very lazy about giving expressed bottles so need to step it up!

jlm29 · 16-10-2018 09:34PM

Mine all managed straw cups from a young age. You could just try a straw in a glass first do you’re not wasting money on cups!

bee06 · 16-10-2018 10:04PM

Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare wrote: »

No but I will now, never even thought of a sippy cup as he's so young, I got about 3x 5ml dosing syringes into him a few days ago.

Some sippy cups are suitable from 4 months but I can’t remember which ones. And as JLM said, I straw in a cup could work just as well.

In the meantime, is your wife co-sleeping? This saved my sanity when my little boy hit the 4 month sleep regression. He’s 9 months now and woke every two hours or more often until last week.

mjj · 17-10-2018 01:36AM

Hi all!
First time mum, breastfeeding my four week old baby. Hoping to start expressing in the next week or two. Looking for advice/recommendations on bottles and pumps? Want to get bottles that will cause least confusion for baby, is it just a case of trial and error? Goin to get a Hakka pump to start with and see how we go!
Thanks a mill!

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