What's the going rate for money gift for wedding

freshpopcorn · 15-08-2018 10:32PM

Greentopia wrote: »

I suppose I'm an oddity in this country in this regard but I don't like the idea of giving money or expensive gifts to a wedding couple. And I'm not stingy and am getting married myself in the next few years and will explicitly not ask for or expect anything.

If someone wants to give a small (and I do mean small) gift like a bottle of wine or nice framed photograph or something like that that's nice, but I hate the idea of asking for money from friends and family. All it does is impose a financial obligation on some people who may not have cash to give.

So I guess I'm no help in this thread, sorry :pac:

Asking another question here.
I've heard of people doing similar. Asking for small gifts or none.
In the end tough the couple still end up with usual cash gifts and they kept them.
Do you think you'd give back the cash or keep it?

pconn062 · 15-08-2018 10:32PM

This thread comes up about once every 3 weeks so the definitive answer is give the money hungry shower nothing...or if you give less than €500 you are worse than Hitler.

Hope that helps.

brendanwalsh · 15-08-2018 10:35PM

200 per head. 400 per couple.

Add more if you know the person well.

Wedding usually costs 150 per head so you need to give the couple something.

Whirl_wolle · 15-08-2018 10:38PM

pconn062 wrote: »

This thread comes up about once every 3 weeks so the definitive answer is give the money hungry shower nothing...or if you give less than €500 you are worse than Hitler.

Hope that helps.

They are not a money hungry couple.

Whirl_wolle · 15-08-2018 10:40PM

brendanwalsh wrote: »

200 per head. 400 per couple.

Add more if you know the person well.

Wedding usually costs 150 per head so you need to give the couple something.

Is this true of 150 per head?

Edgware · 15-08-2018 10:43PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

In my area €200 would be about the norm for a couple attending. Unless they were very close or couldn't finance the amount.
A couple sent out the invitation saying cash only. So a good few markerd down the gift from €200 to €100 or €50.

What would be wrong with an electric carving knife or a His and Hers towel set.
They were good enough for Bullseye

ixoy · 15-08-2018 10:44PM

Pay what you can afford - if they take issue with that, then it speaks poorly of them.

Whirl_wolle wrote: »

Is this true of 150 per head?

No - unless you're for some reason dividing in the cost of the DJ/photographer, etc.

freshpopcorn · 15-08-2018 10:46PM

Edgware wrote: »

What would be wrong with an electric carving knife or a His and Hers towel set.
They were good enough for Bullseye

I know in the UK some couples get gifts but they generally have a register of things they want.
This isn't overly common in Ireland tough.
When people used give gifts in the last couples often were starting out and needed stuff but they don't now because they have already set up home.

BuboBubo · 15-08-2018 10:51PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I know in the UK some couples get gifts but they generally have a register of things they want.
This isn't overly common in Ireland tough.
When people used give gifts in the last couples often were starting out and needed stuff but they don't now because they have already set up home.

Was invited to a UK wedding a few years ago, didn't go. There was a poem about pots and pans included with the invite, they wanted money only.

Didn't give them anything as we didn't go.

andekwarhola · 15-08-2018 10:56PM

For a normal wedding, we usually go with 100 quid as a single person, 200 as a couple. Personally, I'd usually give more than that to a very close friend or immediate family but that's just me.

Really though, it's just what you can afford in your circumstances. If they don't grasp that, that's not your problem.

pgj2015 · 15-08-2018 11:36PM

i usually give 100 euro or a 100 voucher for a nice restaurant. last wedding i was at 3 months ago, i gave a friend of mine and his bride 100 euro, haven't heard from him since. i also gave them an expensive present for their engagement.

The Rape of Lucretia · 15-08-2018 11:43PM

I always feel its up to the bride's father to provide a dowry sufficient to make gifts from others superfluous.

Kevin Finnerty · 15-08-2018 11:50PM

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

I always feel its up to the bride's father to provide a dowry sufficient to make gifts from others superfluous.

Why should the woman have to identify as the bride anymore? Plenty of male brides with rich parents about.

Greentopia · 16-08-2018 01:24AM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Asking another question here.
I've heard of people doing similar. Asking for small gifts or none.
In the end tough the couple still end up with usual cash gifts and they kept them.
Do you think you'd give back the cash or keep it?

I'd give back cash that was given. Yes, truthfully

Guests will be told that I will not expect or want a cent though so hopefully it won't happen. I will give them very clear instructions to not give money please and thank you, just a small token gift if they would like to give something- will state some examples.

The wedding is our cost to bear, it shouldn't be little more than a shake down to cover the cost.

I was at my fiancees brothers wedding last year in Germany and not a cent passed hands by any of the guests to the couple. We turned up to the ceremony, had a meal out paid for by them then more food back in their house. That's it.

They don't look for money there and I agree with it.

Greentopia · 16-08-2018 01:30AM

brendanwalsh wrote: »

200 per head. 400 per couple.

Add more if you know the person well.

Wedding usually costs 150 per head so you need to give the couple something.

No, you don't. If the wedding couple can't pay for the wedding themselves they shouldn't be getting married until they can! it's crass and tacky looking for others to pay for it IMO.

€400... bonkers. You don't see this greed happening in other countries in Europe at weddings.

freshpopcorn · 16-08-2018 01:40AM

Greentopia wrote: »

I'd give back cash that was given. Yes, truthfully
Guests will be told that I will not expect or want a cent though so hopefully it won't happen. I will give them very clear instructions to not give money please and thank you, just a small token gift if they would like to give something- will state some examples.

Thanks for the reply!
I suppose it all depends on your social circle/family and them listening to you. It's just one thing I'd suggest you being careful of because people still give money in my experience.

freshpopcorn · 16-08-2018 01:43AM

Regarding the working out of the cost per head. Couples can really save money by cutting down on chair covers/ribbons/favors/etc. Whilst still having a good meal.
One I saw a cost per head for a wedding and it felt wrong going on the venue/food. Turned out it included the cars/dresses/suits/etc.

Regie93 · 16-08-2018 04:13AM

I agree with previous comments. Pay what you can afford. If you don't have money to spare, It would be much better to make a small present for a couple.

Truckermal · 16-08-2018 04:26AM

Get them a Bondage kit on Wish OP...

theteal · 16-08-2018 06:15AM

The good old wedding industry eh?

It’s all about the love :pac:

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 16-08-2018 06:30AM

Greentopia wrote: »

I'd give back cash that was given. Yes, truthfully
Guests will be told that I will not expect or want a cent though so hopefully it won't happen. I will give them very clear instructions to not give money please and thank you, just a small token gift if they would like to give something- will state some examples.

The wedding is our cost to bear, it shouldn't be little more than a shake down to cover the cost.

I was at my fiancees brothers wedding last year in Germany and not a cent passed hands by any of the guests to the couple. We turned up to the ceremony, had a meal out paid for by them then more food back in their house. That's it.

They don't look for money there and I agree with it.

Sounds blissful. I reckon it means Germans might be less resentful of receiving wedding invitations than Irish folk.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 16-08-2018 06:33AM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Regarding the working out of the cost per head. Couples can really save money by cutting down on chair covers/ribbons/favors/etc. Whilst still having a good meal.
One I saw a cost per head for a wedding and it felt wrong going on the venue/food. Turned out it included the cars/dresses/suits/etc.

One of the reasons my sister and her husband picked their venue was because they had lovely dinner chairs. No frou frou covers required!

And party favours continue to confuse me. Who wants them? Why perpetuate the silliness?

LirW · 16-08-2018 10:33AM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Sounds blissful. I reckon it means Germans might be less resentful of receiving wedding invitations than Irish folk.

You wouldn't have huge weddings to begin with. In Austria an average sized wedding party has approximately 40 people and really only includes people you want to have there. No hard feelings for not inviting your cousin or aunt you haven't seen in a while.
And if you would get cash, then only from your immediate relatives, everyone else gives a small material gift.

BuboBubo · 16-08-2018 09:29PM

LirW wrote: »

You wouldn't have huge weddings to begin with. In Austria an average sized wedding party has approximately 40 people and really only includes people you want to have there. No hard feelings for not inviting your cousin or aunt you haven't seen in a while.
And if you would get cash, then only from your immediate relatives, everyone else gives a small material gift.

Really hope the trend changes here, it's ridiculous at this stage. 200-400 people and mental sums of money thrown around - fcuking madness.

Gael23 · 16-08-2018 09:33PM

€150 for a couple and I suppose half that for a single person.
A bit more if its family or a close friend,

The Rape of Lucretia · 16-08-2018 10:10PM

Kevin Finnerty wrote: »

Why should the woman have to identify as the bride anymore? Plenty of male brides with rich parents about.

Well its going to be the sons who inherit the family business and assets, so any father will want to add as much as he can to helping his daughter make as advantageous a match as she can attract.

Greentopia · 17-08-2018 02:32AM

LirW wrote: »

You wouldn't have huge weddings to begin with. In Austria an average sized wedding party has approximately 40 people and really only includes people you want to have there. No hard feelings for not inviting your cousin or aunt you haven't seen in a while.
And if you would get cash, then only from your immediate relatives, everyone else gives a small material gift.

Yep, the wedding I went to in Germany had around 70 guests but they were all close family and friends. A modest affair but lovely civil ceremony and afters. I mentioned to my other half about the typical cost of an Irish wedding and he was stunned. Can't say I blame him.

When I send my wedding invitations out I don't want my fiends and family to think "oh no... more money we'll have to find to attend this wedding!" I don't want to essentially hand them a bill for a few hundred euro in a fancy envelope, I want it to as affordable as possible for them to attend and actually enjoy the day without worrying about how much they have to give us or buying expensive gifts.

Sure some friends are well off and can afford that, but others are struggling with families and mortgages. It's not fair to expect them to spend anything more than the cost of a babysitter if needed and petrol money to get there.
What's important is they are there with us and we all really enjoy the day. Their presence rather than their...well... presents.

thebull85 · 17-08-2018 02:36AM

A card and a half ounce for the groom.

pleas advice · 17-08-2018 03:59AM

how late is too late to apologise for not turning up at a wedding, I hear 6 months is an acceptable timeframe for sending gifts.
Should I stick a card in the letterbox with 50 quid inside it?

blackvalley · 17-08-2018 05:04AM

I suppose an ironing board or toaster would be out of the question ?:D

What's the going rate for money gift for wedding

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