That one thing from your past that makes you CRINGE!!

cavemeister · 2018-07-30 14:18:15

You know that feeling right??? That one thing we have done in the past that when in pops into your head, you are reduced to a puddle of cringy gloop. Doesn't matter if you are walking the dog, driving the car or sitting in a meeting, once that memory surfaces, your brain does everything in it's power to suppress it again…

30-07-2018 03:18PM

#1

cavemeister

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You know that feeling right???

That one thing we have done in the past that when in pops into your head, you are reduced to a puddle of cringy gloop.

Doesn't matter if you are walking the dog, driving the car or sitting in a meeting, once that memory surfaces, your brain does everything in it's power to suppress it again leaving you a bumbling wreck

Mine usually involve really, really stupid things I have said to girls when I was younger in a lame attempt in trying to sound cool when chatting them up..

The pain!!!

3

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#2 30-07-2018 03:23PM

Gwynplaine

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X Worx and Eclipse jeans.

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#3 30-07-2018 03:27PM

mad muffin

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When the roller blind rolled up in the middle of a ****, and the neighbor across the way saw me beating my meat furiously.

Totes morto.

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#4 30-07-2018 03:28PM

Ulysses Gaze

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I had a Mullet

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#5 30-07-2018 03:33PM

[Deleted User]
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Walked into my parents bar when I was a little kid with a plaster on each of my fingers. People immediately took note... "Oh what happened her?! Is she ok? The poor child!" And so on. So my mum loudly explained "She's trying to look like Michael Jackson!" And the whole place erupted laughing!

I thought I looked cool

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#6 30-07-2018 03:49PM

Lorelli!

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When I was a kid about 7 or 8, I always felt embarrassed if someone would give me a present or money but grateful.

Every time we'd go to visit my uncle he'd give me a pound or two to get sweets. One day he put loads of change on the table and said to me "there" and I said "oh thanks" and he said "what'd ya mean thanks, I only wanted you to count it!" :pac: :mad:

I still cringe at that. I remember saying to my mam "I'm never going back there again"

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#7 02-08-2018 11:43AM

greenspurs

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Got into bed with the inlaws - totally naked, after a savage session of beer ..........

JAYSUS !!!!!!! MORTO for ever.....

"Bright lights and Thunder .................... " #NoPopcorn

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#8 02-08-2018 11:51AM

JohnnyFlash

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Marrying my complete hell demon of an ex-wife. 2nd in command to Satan she is.

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#9 02-08-2018 12:47PM

podgeandrodge

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Met a mate I hadn't seen in a few years on a Dublin bus. He was on his own upstairs. Sat beside him, asked him how he was doing, what he was working at, whether he was married etc. He was really awkward about it.

Realised after 10 minutes it wasn't who I thought it was. Morto, I got up and took another seat on the empty bus without explaining myself. Must have thought I was a right weirdo.

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#10 02-08-2018 01:12PM

Malayalam

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I am not going to say my absolute cringiest thing, they have been many and most are far too cringey to share, including once arriving as a young girl into my parents bedroom bearing a lovely breakfast tray I had earnestly prepared for them, and waiting patiently right by the bed while my mother got my father's attention (it took a while) and he was forced to climb off of her to receive my yummy tea and toast...

...but sashaying around the library in college for a good half an hour with the whole back of my skirt tucked fast into my knickers felt reasonably cringey when I thought about it afterwards.

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#11 02-08-2018 01:13PM

Lux23

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Wetting myself at a party when I was 9 because I was afraid to use a stranger's bathroom.

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#12 02-08-2018 01:30PM

Sleepy

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Most of the years between 1994 and 1999 TBH!

Boards.ie need your help to survive, subscribe here

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#13 02-08-2018 01:33PM

Boom_Bap

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JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Marrying my complete hell demon of an ex-wife. 2nd in command to Satan she is.

I didn't know my missus was married previously!

Calling my teacher 'mam'.

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#14 02-08-2018 01:35PM

Gwen Cooper

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When I first had sex, I wanted to touch the guys ding-dong, but I didn't know what it will feel like or how gentle I should be, so I formed a three-finger claw and lifted it up as a tea bag. My mind keeps taking me back to this moment very often. I am also getting constant reminders from himself, whenever my hand wanders in his pants.

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#15 02-08-2018 01:42PM

ArtyC

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Anything I wrote on bebo

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#16 02-08-2018 01:53PM

razorblunt

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One thing? Christ, I wish I could pinpoint just one.

Probably running away from a girl at Gaeltacht that wanted to shift me, I was 13.

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#17 02-08-2018 01:54PM

greenspurs

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Gwen Cooper wrote: »

When I first had sex, I wanted to touch the guys ding-dong, but I didn't know what it will feel like or how gentle I should be, so I formed a three-finger claw and lifted it up as a tea bag. My mind keeps taking me back to this moment very often. I am also getting constant reminders from himself, whenever my hand wanders in his pants.

I would add that post to your list ......

*ding dong - wtf !?! :rolleyes:

"Bright lights and Thunder .................... " #NoPopcorn

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#18 02-08-2018 02:18PM

Gwen Cooper

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greenspurs wrote: »

I would add that post to your list ......

*ding dong - wtf !?! :rolleyes:

Well I have other names for it, but none of them are safe to type on a work computer

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#19 02-08-2018 02:55PM

CowGoesMoo100

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Falling down the stairs of a packed bus as it turned a corner. Then getting off said bus and walking alongside it as it moved at the same speed as my walk.

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#20 02-08-2018 03:10PM

endacl

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I’m fundamentally unembarrassable. An occasion that should make me cringe, but doesn’t, is an interaction in a local chemist that I’ve had occasion to repost several times on this site.

Copied from: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86024390

Right. Well.

Some years ago I bought a flute made by a maker in Bray, Desi Seery. Lovely fella, if a bit rough around the edges. He makes traditional wooden flutes. He also makes them from a plastic-like material called Delrin. Looks, feels and acts like wood, but much harder wearing etc... Mine was one of those. Anyway, 'this one time' (:D) i was chatting to him, and I asked about maintenance. His advice was to run a bit of liquid paraffin through it every week or so, just to keep the bore smooth, fill any imperfections etc. So that's what I decided to do.

So, on the way home I popped into our local chemist for a bottle o' the shtuff. Now, as it happens, I am an idiot. I never thought of pouring the excess back into the bottle when I was finished, and so the following week I was back to the chemist again. For another half litre bottle of liquid paraffin. And again the following week. And the week after that. You see a pattern emerging, I trust...?

Now, in the chemist worked a young Australian girl. Young. Pretty. Very friendly. Kinda knew her to say hello to after all this liquid paraffin purchasing. About three months of liquid paraffin purchasing. Anyway, this one time I was in and the shop was quite busy. She gestured me aside for a quick word and said in a concerned tone, and I quote "I've noticed you've been buying liquid paraffin for some time now, and that it doesn't seem to be working for your 'condition'. There are other, more effective remedies available, if you'd like me to talk you through them?" I obviously looked quite confused at this point. Because I was. She picked up on this. "For your ..... constipation" she almost whispered. I took a split second to think about this. I honestly had no idea that liquid paraffin was traditionally used as a laxative. Used as a laxative by my granny's generation though! Obviously not wanting this pretty young aussie to think a had been battling unsuccessfully with chronic constipation for the previous three months, I loudly blurted out, just at one of those moments you get when a busy shop suddenly falls silent, "Nicole, I'm not constipated. I use it to oil my flute!!".

Shop erupts. Nicole turns the deepest shade of red I've ever seen, and I only realise when I'm back home oiling my flute, how that must have sounded.

My funny flute story.

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#21 02-08-2018 03:28PM

the purple tin

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I was just after finishing a job interview one time and a I was leaving the officestill nervous I turned around to thank the bloke and say goodbye, I turned back and headbutted the side of the door.

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#22 02-08-2018 03:35PM

marklazarcovic

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banjo string decided to pop whilst dry humping in our kacks with a relatively new gf .. "ya coulda said it was your time like" says i ...

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#23 02-08-2018 03:47PM

Graces7

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endacl;

I needed that laugh...and it gives me the nerve for this, and yes i have written this before here.

Eight years old and we are camping in the South of France ( many decades ago..)

So we are with a small group from the campsite, walking down a load of steps to the beach... All dressed ready for the sea.. Including a couple of young men

Remember EIGHT YEARS OLD! And before TV etc...

So I stare at this "well endowed" man, wearing tight swimming trunks, and in my loudest voice ask

"WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE TENNIS BALLS IN HIS TRUNKS?"

No one answered. They all froze in sheer embarrassment ..
so

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#24 02-08-2018 03:51PM

Cina

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This is a long story, but I'll keep it brief.

Got hammered. Jumped in taxi. Blacked out in taxi. Got home.

"€30 please".

Checked pocket. No wallet. Left it in my mate's handbag. F*ck.

"Sorry, wallet's gone".
"Find something else then"
"Eh, like what?"
"Your iPhone"
"Ok that seems reasonable (500e vs 30e)"

#Fin.

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#25 02-08-2018 04:19PM

freshpopcorn

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Calling the teacher Mam!

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#26 02-08-2018 04:27PM

[Deleted User]
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Walking down the road to work around 7:30 on the Monday morning after Eric Cantona announced his retirement from football. Bumped into a neighbour who I also used to work with on my previous job. Had a couple of free minutes for a bit of small talk, so...

"Did you hear about Eric?" he asks me.
Never remembered this guy as a football fan at all, but since it's in the news I play along. (Clubs I support are Limerick, Fulham, and Berlin because I lived in those places)

"What about him?" I said, "I never liked that cnut anyway, why should I care what happens to him, fukc him"

Turns out your man wasn't talking about Eric Cantona, he was talking about another workmate called Eric who died in a car crash the same weekend.

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#27 02-08-2018 04:32PM

Billy86

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Has to go to getting my hair bleached when I was about 14 in 2000. Especially since I've really thick and hard hair, so it went orange for a day and had me getting grief off about being Romanian from other kids in the area :pac: - https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-e4d94e47edde20e321ef78d97c1e9a74-c

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#28 02-08-2018 04:35PM

optogirl

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Cina wrote: »

This is a long story, but I'll keep it brief.

Got hammered. Jumped in taxi. Blacked out in taxi. Got home.

"€30 please".

Checked pocket. No wallet. Left it in my mate's handbag. F*ck.

"Sorry, wallet's gone".
"Find something else then"
"Eh, like what?"
"Your iPhone"
"Ok that seems reasonable (500e vs 30e)"

#Fin.

This happened to me with a Discman - not quite the same level of monetary value but I was raging with myself the next morning

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#29 02-08-2018 04:35PM

Billy86

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Deleted User wrote: »

Walking down the road to work around 7:30 on the Monday morning after Eric Cantona announced his retirement from football. Bumped into a neighbour who I also used to work with on my previous job. Had a couple of free minutes for a bit of small talk, so...

"Did you hear about Eric?" he asks me.
Never remembered this guy as a football fan at all, but since it's in the news I play along. (Clubs I support are Limerick, Fulham, and Berlin because I lived in those places)

"What about him?" I said, "I never liked that cnut anyway, why should I care what happens to him, fukc him"

Turns out your man wasn't talking about Eric Cantona, he was talking about another workmate called Eric who died in a car crash the same weekend.

Also reminds me of a morning exam I had where one answer element into detail on RTE salaries and general misdirection/wasting of funds, and particularly was harsh on the likes of Tubridy and Gerry Ryan.

Got out of the exam, a friend was passing through town so picked me up after. Want to guess what the big story that say was? Yep, Gerry Ryan died the night before. Whomever marked that exam must've been appalled!

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#30 02-08-2018 04:36PM

Dammo

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Gwen Cooper wrote: »

When I first had sex, I wanted to touch the guys ding-dong, but I didn't know what it will feel like or how gentle I should be, so I formed a three-finger claw and lifted it up as a tea bag. My mind keeps taking me back to this moment very often. I am also getting constant reminders from himself, whenever my hand wanders in his pants.

A thanks just wouldn’t do it so I’m giving you a round of applause for this!

Best laugh I’ve had today.

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#31 02-08-2018 04:50PM

[Deleted User]
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I've done a lot of cringy things but I've posted them all before.

@Endacl, that story is magnificent and I'm going to laugh about it for a long time.

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