How to kill an Ex...

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:10PM #1

...and get away with it.

I don’t want to go into details about a toxic relationship that ended more than 15 years ago, longer actually – for a good reason.

And I don’t want to go into detail why he turned up today (from abroad where he lives) and started threatening me with all sorts of things without being physically abusive. Well, that was his trick all along in the past. And the reason why I ended up in Ireland as far away from him as possible. As the saying goes: long story.

A solicitor is involved by now, so that side is covered. And the reason why I wouldn’t go into details.

But thing is, I’m so upset that I thought some AH input would cheer me up, even after actual talks with friends and neighbours.

I feel murderous (which my solictor doesn’t approve, naturally).

So any ideas how to fuel my fantasies about how to kill an 6’6’’ Ex who openly declared today that he doesn’t give a shìt about me as long as he gets his way?

The crueller the better. Thanks.

pleas advice · 24-07-2018 11:11PM

Novichok

The Backwards Man · 24-07-2018 11:13PM

Three Os

Liamalone · 24-07-2018 11:14PM

Death by riding

Jim Bob Scratcher · 24-07-2018 11:16PM

Carry a gun

Madhatter111 · 24-07-2018 11:16PM

Interesting thoughts here on that one.. I know your feelings op

Sal Butamol · 24-07-2018 11:18PM

Shag Donald Trump?

MadYaker · 24-07-2018 11:19PM

Based on what you posted if he winds up dead in suspicious circumstances you’ll be number one on the list of people the gardai want to talk to.

ballyargus · 24-07-2018 11:20PM

The boats, also known as scaphism, is widely regarded as one the most painful, disgusting and prolonged methods of death/torture going.

It has seen a decline in popularity as the centuries have gone by.

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:25PM

pleas advice wrote: »

Novichok

Too prominent by now (see UK cases).
Anyway, how would I get it?

Any Russians around here?

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:26PM

Liamalone wrote: »

Death by riding

I'd rather suffer death than riding that one. Honestly.

Fr_Dougal · 24-07-2018 11:27PM

Stop squatting in his house.

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:27PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Three Os

Three what?

Are Am Eye · 24-07-2018 11:28PM

You could buy a set of Shuriken (ninja/throwing/morning stars) and spend some time practicing your expertise dispatching them with accuracy.

Kill your ex using same and casually saunter off bypassing the Police who will be looking for a small, black robed, sword carrying man. The perfect crime....

The Backwards Man · 24-07-2018 11:29PM

Carry wrote: »

Three what?

You kill Xs with Os

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:30PM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Carry a gun

If only.
I have an axe though.
But do you know that blood is hard to clean away?

Cleopatra_ · 24-07-2018 11:30PM

Going by watching CSI, you should kill him with an icicle (so that the weapon melts). Then cut him up and feed him to hungry pigs (this I garnered from Snatch).

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:31PM

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Stop squatting in his house.

It's MY house ffs! :mad:

Donald Trump · 24-07-2018 11:33PM

Sal Butamol wrote: »

Shag Donald Trump?

What if I am the ex?

OP, if you have nice boobs, please consider the posters helpful suggestion.

And if you don't have nice boobs, consider it anyway......I'm not fussy :pac:

vectorvictor · 24-07-2018 11:34PM

MadYaker wrote: »

Based on what you posted if he winds up dead in suspicious circumstances you’ll be number one on the list of people the gardai want to talk to.

I give this thread an hour.

Yes it's after hours but posting a desire or intention to murder and seeking feedback on how?

I can't see any service provider overlooking that without reporting it.

AH is great for humour . Murder is not a topic for humour

You sound like a bunny boiler op. I am mystified as to why your ex doesn't care about you

c.p.w.g.w · 24-07-2018 11:34PM

Carry wrote: »

...and get away with it.

I don’t want to go into details about a toxic relationship that ended more than 15 years ago, longer actually – for a good reason.

And I don’t want to go into detail why he turned up today (from abroad where he lives) and started threatening me with all sorts of things without being physically abusive. Well, that was his trick all along in the past. And the reason why I ended up in Ireland as far away from him as possible. As the saying goes: long story.

A solicitor is involved by now, so that side is covered. And the reason why I wouldn’t go into details.

But thing is, I’m so upset that I thought some AH input would cheer me up, even after actual talks with friends and neighbours.

I feel murderous (which my solictor doesn’t approve, naturally).

So any ideas how to fuel my fantasies about how to kill an 6’6’’ Ex who openly declared today that he doesn’t give a shìt about me as long as he gets his way?

The crueller the better. Thanks.

Lily of the Valley

Fr_Dougal · 24-07-2018 11:35PM

Carry wrote: »

It's MY house ffs! :mad:

Nope.

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:41PM

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

Going by watching CSI, you should kill him with an icicle (so that the weapon melts). Then cut him up and feed him to hungry pigs (this I garnered from Snatch).

Ah, I rememer that film. But how do you get icicles in Ireland? In summer?

There is piggery in the vicinity, though. Have to charm the pig farmer first - not an appealing perception ...

Liamalone · 24-07-2018 11:43PM

Carry wrote: »

I'd rather suffer death than riding that one. Honestly.

Aye but once upon a time ye did though

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:47PM

vectorvictor wrote: »

I give this thread an hour.

Yes it's after hours but posting a desire or intention to murder and seeking feedback on how?

I can't see any service provider overlooking that without reporting it.

AH is great for humour . Murder is not a topic for humour

You sound like a bunny boiler op. I am mystified as to why your ex doesn't care about you

Goethe said, as quoted by my publisher (paraphrasing in English): You only see what you know.

Try to read and think, then answer.
It's about murderous fantasies, not murder.

Are your fantasies about gorgeous blonde bunny boilers?

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:49PM

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Nope.

It is.

Ah, I get it, it's YOU! Gotcha!

JJayoo · 24-07-2018 11:49PM

Record him threatening you, put it on the internet, let social media spread it

EPAndlee · 24-07-2018 11:50PM

24-07-2018 11:52PM

dress him up as a hutch

Carry · 24-07-2018 11:52PM

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

Lily of the Valley

Easily confused with wild garlic, isnt it?

:D

But sadly no lily of the valley around here.

vectorvictor · 24-07-2018 11:55PM

Carry wrote: »

Goethe said, as quoted by my publisher (paraphrasing in English): You only see what you know.

Try to read and think, then answer.
It's about murderous fantasies, not murder.

Are your fantasies about gorgeous blonde bunny boilers?

"I feel murderous" is not a fantasy related statement nor did you reference fantasy at any stage. People are impacted by these things and I see no humour in your pathetic attempt at attention.

How to kill an Ex...

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